Wicked Pleasure (11 page)

“These two plants are Sweetie Pie and Jessica. I can't tell them apart, but I bet the owner could. Holgarth says the owner is really into plants. We have to keep them happy.” He refused to meet her gaze. “And I had to come now because the owner wants me to tell you about them. Oh, and I'm Deimos.”

Happy?
“Deimos, they're plants. Plants don't do happy.” Kim could see Fo's big purple eyes fixed on Deimos. Please, no. She'd had enough weirdness since last night to last her for the next twenty years.

“Kimmie, I think Deimos is a nonhuman entity. Since Brynn pointed out the flaw in my programming, I now understand that I can't definitely say he's a demon.” Fo blinked her eyes. “Yo, Deimos, are you a demon? Kimmie, you should always keep me with you.”

Deimos widened his amber eyes as he shifted his attention to Fo. “What's that?”

Kim looked more closely at his eyes. A strange color. Where had she seen eyes . . . Sparkle Stardust. Sparkle's eyes were the same color as Deimos's. Maybe they were related. Hmm, come to think of it, they were the same color as the eyes of the cat on Brynn's body. No, didn't want to go there. Or maybe she should say she wanted to go there too much. She would
not
think about Brynn's inner thigh now.

“You don't have to ask Kimmie. I can answer for myself. I'm—”

“Fo is a high-tech toy that I'm thinking about leaving with Wade, my neighbor across the hall.” Kim hoped Fo got the message.

She did.

Silence stretched between Kim and Deimos for a moment. “So are you a demon?” Under the circumstances, she figured the direct approach would be best.

Deimos shook his head as he continued to avoid her gaze. She sensed an unspoken
but
there somewhere. He bent over the plants and began pouring some of the plant food around their roots. Suddenly, he paused. “Jeez, I can't believe it. Look, they both have flower buds.” He sounded endearingly excited about the buds.

Deimos glanced up at her, and once again she got the impression of someone young and innocent trapped in that massive body. “Wow, you'll have to take really good care of them. They've never had flowers before.” He frowned. “I guess I'll have to tell you what the owner wants you to know.”

“That might be a good idea.” Kim felt her frustration with him fading away in the face of his happiness over the flower buds.

He straightened and locked his gaze on a point about a foot above her head. “The owner has spent lots of time studying plants. He . . . Well, I don't know for sure if the owner's a he. Holgarth says the owner might be a he, she, or possibly it. Anyway, the owner says that plants can pick up on human emotions. They stay really healthy and happy in a room where people . . .”

Kim watched in bemused silence as red crept up Deimos's neck, flooded his face, and then swept across his shaven head. He was experiencing a full-head blush. He'd have to get a handle on that if he wanted to be an action hero. She didn't think action heroes spent much time blushing.

He coughed and blushed some more. “They stay healthy in a room where people . . .” He made a meaningless gesture with his hand she supposed was meant to symbolize what he couldn't quite put into words. “Where people, you know, do it. I mean, the plants don't watch, but they get off on all the energy.” He finished in a rush.

“Do it?” She raised one brow. “You mean have sex?”

The word
sex
spoken out loud deepened his blush to neon red. “Yeah.” He backed toward the door.

Kim spent a few moments of silence contemplating the plants. What could she possibly add to that? “From all those buds, I'd say these girls must've been in a room with a sex tag team. Only sex twenty-four/seven would've made them this happy.” Wait, why did the owner want her to know this? “Maybe you should move the plants to another room before they lose all their buds, because there won't be any doing-it in my room. You can tell the owner that.”

“But the owner says—” He'd paused in the process of backing out the door.

Kim didn't waste any more time arguing. She picked up a plant in each hand, marched over to Deimos, and shoved the plants into his arms. “
You
keep the plants.
You
keep them happy.”

She gave him an irritated push, and he stumbled into the hall, still gripping Sweetie Pie and Jessica. She started to slam the door in his face.

“But I'm a virgin.”

Kim finished slamming the door and then leaned her back against it. She closed her eyes.

“Oh, boy.”

“Get this straight; I'm nobody's pet. I don't do wimpy meows. I don't do lap cuddling. And I never purr—except when I'm digging into a great meal.” Ganymede crouched on Sparkle's candy counter. With ears pinned, amber eyes narrowed to angry slits, and black tail whipping back and forth, he was one steamed kitty.

Sparkle allowed herself a deliciously secret smile. Did he know how sexy he was when he got all angry and aggressive? Mede was always a challenge. He never said yes without a fight. She loved that about him.

“You need to calm down and relax. Here, have a caramel.” She reached into her display case.

“You've got a mean streak, evil woman. That's what keeps me coming back. Notice the cat form? If I chomp down on a caramel, it'll glue my jaws shut for an hour.”

Sparkle leaned forward to slide her fingertips over the smooth fur of his back. He arched into the caress. Mmm. Mede's hair when he was in human form felt the same way, all soft and sensual. “Exactly, sugar fluff. You need to do some quality listening.”

“Hmmph.” He sat down on the counter and then wrapped his tail around him. “Give it your best shot, but I'm not going to change my mind. I only came for the sex.”

She perched herself on the high stool behind her counter, crossed her legs—she was glad she'd chosen to wear her barelythere leather skirt today—and studied her nails so Mede wouldn't see the laughter in her eyes. He always said he came for the sex, but he always stayed for so much more.

“This is your lucky day, Mede.” Rats. The nail color on her ring finger was chipped. When had that happened? Now that she knew it was chipped, she wouldn't be able to concentrate on anything else.

“We can get it on
before
you nag me? Hey, changing forms is tough for me, but it'll only take about twenty minutes if I start right now.” For the first time, his eyes gleamed with excitement.

“What?” Could she call Deimos back so he could watch the store while she zipped home to get her bottle of Torrid Tiger? “No. Absolutely not. We don't get to play until you fix Brynn's life. But the good news is that if you take away his compulsion, I bet you earn a barrel of brownie points with the Big Boss.” Was she imagining it, or was the chipped spot getting bigger?

Mede's expression returned to narrow-eyed bad temper. “What's the big deal with Brynn? I gave him every man's fantasy. He gets to have great sex every day of his life if he wants it, with no consequences or responsibilities. Besides that, he's immortal. So the great sex just goes on and on. Doesn't get much better than that.”

Mede was such a cosmic troublemaker. He didn't understand humans. Never had. “If he
wants
it. That's the problem. Brynn doesn't have a choice. He thinks he's a sex slave.”

Mede blinked. “And your point is? Look, I can't help it if he's a negative kind of guy. I gave him lemonade, and he turned it into lemons.” His expression said he knew there was a flaw in his analogy, but he wasn't quite sure what it was.

Sparkle did a few mental eye rolls. “The point is you shouldn't have given him anything having to do with lemons in the first place. Humans don't think like us. We rose from the primordial ooze knowing we were meant to be bad. Our whole existence is spent causing trouble, living in the moment, and working on instant gratification. We never have identity crises.”

She frowned at the chipped nail color. It was like if she took her attention off it for too long it would spread to her other nails, a chipped-nail-color pandemic. “I'm still working on the instant gratification part, because sometimes it's damned hard to convince two people who're completely wrong for each other that everything's good. Anyway, humans eventually want to fall in love, settle down, and have a family. I know, sounds boring, but that's humanity for you.” She glanced at Mede. “You might want to get off the counter. Personally, I find your kitty form cute and endearing, but customers would get all bent out of shape if they found cat hair on their fudge.”

“Primordial ooze? What's that about?” Amusement flickered in his eyes. “And no, I'm not getting off the counter. I like it here. So I still don't get it. Why isn't Brynn happy? He could get married and just ask his wife to have sex with him every hour. No problem.”

Sparkle fixed her attention on her absolutely fave Manolo Blahnik sandals and tried not to think about her ruined nail. Could she help it if she obsessed over her sensual appearance? Did that make her shallow? Sparkle didn't think so.

“I gave Brynn his compulsion a long time ago, back when I never did
anything
to make humans happy. He was lucky because I'd just released a plague of locusts on some unsuspecting boobies and was feeling pumped. You know, all kind and charitable. Only feel that way once in say a thousand years. So I made sure he wouldn't feel guilty about using women by letting him think he was a demon. See, everybody knows demons are slimeballs, so Brynn could ease his conscience by telling himself he was just doing what came naturally.” He shook his head at the folly of trying to make humans feel good.

Mede got a faraway look in his eyes. “I was a real badass back then—destroying planets, creating black holes, messing with the time-space continuum.” He exhaled deeply. “Those were the bad old days, before the Big Boss brought his hammer down.” His eyes shone with the memory of past glory. “I was the baddest of the bad for thousands of years. I was the most powerful cosmic troublemaker in the universe.” The glow slowly faded. “Now I can't do one damned thing to hurt anyone without the Big Boss getting on my case.”

“I feel your pain, love button.” And she did, as much as she was able to empathize with another being. “That's why you have to do this for me. The Big Boss will think you've gone good and not pay so much attention to you. That way you can slip in a few wicked deeds without him noticing.”

Mede washed his face with one black paw as he thought over Sparkle's logic. “Yeah, maybe you're right. But I don't know if I can reverse the compulsion. I don't usually build in fail-safes for this kind of thing.”

“You've got to try . . . for me.” Okay, so that wasn't the smartest thing to say. She should've appealed to his troublemaker nature instead of making it personal. Sometimes Mede muddled her thinking.

The silence dragged on a little too long, and Sparkle knew her big bad cat was doing it on purpose. “Well?”

“I'll give it a shot, but I'm not doing the telepathy crap this time. Anything I have to say, I'll say it out loud.” His belligerent stare dared her to defy him.

Sparkle nodded. She knew when to give in. Mede needed to feel he'd won a point to make up for him agreeing to help her. Males were so transparent. “Just make sure you don't talk to Kim. She'll lose it, and you'll be out of there. I have it all worked out. I promised Kim a pet, so I'll take you over in the carrier and—”

“Whoa, stop, cut it freakin' off right there. What part of I . . . am . . . not . . . a . . . pet didn't you understand?” He stood and in one graceful motion leaped to the floor. “I'll just mosey over to the castle and do some snooping on my own. Have to admit that cats are great for sneaking around and getting inside info.”

He padded toward the door. “I'll find the castle's restaurant first and then find Brynn. After I steal a snack, I'll do some heavy-duty spying to see if he really hates my compulsion as much as you say he does.” Mede turned to look back at her. “What's good on the restaurant's menu? Gotta keep up my strength, you know. Hope they have ice cream and cake.”

Oh, jeez, no. Sparkle hopped off her stool and raced around the counter to stand in front of the door. “Wait. You can't just wander around the castle. They'll all get upset if they see another cat running loose. And don't even think about going near the restaurant. The Board of Health will be on the place like fire ants on an ankle if someone spots you there.”

Mede paused, growing still as only a cat can. “
Another
cat? Something you're not telling me?”

Sparkle sighed. She'd put off telling him about Asima, but it looked like she didn't have any choice now. “Asima's in the castle. She's a messenger of the goddess Bast, and she always takes the form of a Siamese cat. I don't know why she's hanging there, but she's a royal pain in the butt.”

Mede looked intrigued. “Is she a babe?” The wicked expression in his amber eyes said he knew exactly the response he'd get to that.

Never let it be said that Sparkle Stardust disappointed. “Remember the whole ‘hell hath no fury' thing? Well, a cosmic troublemaker scorned is so much worse.” She smiled sweetly. “Can we say instant chop chop? No more manly package.”

“Ouch.”

“Oooh, yes.” She really hated playing to Mede's expectations, but he got such a kick out of her acting the jealous bitch that she couldn't deny him. Sparkle was way too secure with her own sexual appeal to worry about a snooty goddess gofer like Asima.

“You know, I think you're right about too many cats running loose. I need to keep a low profile, so I'll kick back and snooze in this Kim's room when I'm not stalking Brynn. I don't know who she is, but I know how you work. I free Brynn. You hook him up with Kim. They go through hell together. You're happy.”