Wicked Sunset (Sunset Vampire Series, Book 4) (6 page)

“What the hell are we playin’ here?” she asked.

“Halo,” I replied.

“Well, Halo to you, too, twerp,” she chimed. “Honestly, what is it with you men and video games?”

“It passes the time until we get to have sex again,” I said.

“You nerd. Keep playing this stuff and you can forget getting any more sex,” she muttered.

“Oh, fun-ny,” I said.

I showed her the controls and described the game for her. We had only played for about twenty minutes when she turned to stare at me.

“Listen, I don’t know if you’ve noticed or not, but Red actually treats you just like a dominatrix does her Sub sometimes,” she said. “It must feel very emasculating. But then, I realize that you seem like that sort of thing for some reason.”

“What do you know? And why are you still hung up on the porn topic?” I asked, annoyed over both her tone of voice and topic selection.

“Hey, don’t get all defensive on me,” she said. “I just call it like I see it. And you, my friend, are one whipping away from ‘Yes, Mistress, may I have another?’ That’s all I’m sayin’. But hey, if that’s your thing.”

Oh, dry up.

I grumbled an expletive, ignored her, and continued to play. Fortunately, she let the topic drop.

However, her comments struck a sour cord in me, and before long, my thoughts wandered.

I had never deeply considered the nature of what Paige had suggested, or even the structure of Kat’s and my dynamic relationship for that matter; certainly not from that angle before.

Do I feel emasculated by Kat? Is a dominatrix really what I want from her?

It was true that the balance and nature of our relationship was quite different from other couples.

It’s not as if that make me less of a man or anything.

Does it?

Those were all confusing prospects, as well as sort of emotionally overwhelming to consider all at once.

In fact, it made me feel aggravated.

“You don’t like Kat’s and my relationship, do you?” I asked.

Paige abruptly paused the game and turned to me.

“I never said that. And besides, Red’s like a sister to me; I love her. But you’re my friend, too, and I just want what makes you happy, okay?” she said. “It’s just that Katrina is a powerful vampire as well as a powerful woman. She’s a lot for any man to handle.”

She’s very powerful, for sure.

“Yeah, well, I definitely can’t see Kat getting handled by any man,” I said.

“My point exactly,” she said.

“You don’t exactly get handled by anyone either,” I pointed out.

She tilted her head slightly. “True. Except when I want to be handled.”

“Kat’s probably the same,” I said. “So what’s with all the concern all of a sudden?”

She frowned as she stared at me. Actually, it was more like right through me.

“I’m just worried that you’ll get lost in allowing her to control you like she does. Although, that has to be somewhat tempting for someone like you, isn’t it?”

“Someone like me?”

She reached over and patted me on the back.

“I love you, kiddo,” she said. “But you’re attracted to really assertive, powerful women, and that’s something you have to be sure not to lose yourself in. I’ve seen it happen the other way to women who’ve lost themselves in a powerful man. Eventually, they just forgot who they were.”

I didn’t know how to respond to that.

“You’ve come a long way since I first met you, tiger. And I adore the man that you’ve become. I like you just the way you are, so I’d hate to lose you; what you are now, that is.”

“Sure, but—” I said. “I mean, it’s really all about maintaining a healthy balance, right?”

“But then, that’s the challenge, isn’t it?” she asked.

She resumed the game and I half-heartedly returned to playing. However, what she said kept replaying over and over again in my mind.

…a powerful woman.

…you’ll get lost in allowing her to control you.

…tempting for someone like you.

…they forgot who they were.

Was I allowing Kat to swallow me up? Was that what I wanted?

Kat’s and my relationship had developed so quickly in the nine months since we began dating that I’d hardly taken time to consider its evolution.

Hell, I’m already her mate. That’s practically like “vampire married.”

Was I getting lost in her? Was I relinquishing my independence to her?

I contemplated my desire for her; how passionately I loved her, and how I craved her body.

Was I giving up my independence in exchange for love and sex?

Perhaps, but I couldn’t help feeling as though there might be more to it than that.

It is more. I don’t simply want her; I need her.

Was it because of my past; my abusive childhood?

I suddenly felt confused and filled with a host of uncertainties. It was exhausting to contemplate.

There’s too much for me to digest right now. I need a quiet place to think; to work it all out.

“You all right, tiger?” Paige asked. “You just got blasted by a baddie, you know.”

“Huh? Oh, crap,” I said, breaking from my train of thoughts. “And they’re called the Covenant, just so you know.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Ugly-ass, weirdie-lookin’ dudes,” she said. “Face it; you’re still such a hopeless little nerd sometimes.”

I nodded. “Yeah, but I’m
your
hopeless little nerd.”

She gave me a mock-horrified look. “Hey, you stole my line, you little turd.”

“
Psyche
,” I said, and restarted the level.

I forced our recent conversation about my relationship with Kat and its seemingly endless implications to the back of my mind while escaping back into the video game with my friend.

Somehow, fighting off an alien invasion felt much safer, and perhaps more familiar, territory.

Chapter 5

Caleb

The next day, I thought about what Paige and I had discussed. Her words kept replaying in my mind.

Determined to confront matters head on, I found Katrina in the sublevel room, essentially our grand subterranean bedroom, sitting at the station that supported the array of computer consoles and control center for the estate’s security and surveillance system.

She looked so sexy sitting there barefoot and wearing a pair of satin lounge pants and matching camisole. Her hair was pulled back into a single, tight ponytail, giving her that authoritative, yet sexy, look that I loved.

Had I not been so focused upon my question at hand, I might have considered more amorous endeavors.

“Hey, Kat, got a minute?” I asked.

Her welcoming smile was epic. “Always for you, my love.”

I gave her a quick kiss as I gathered my thoughts.

“What’s up?” she asked with an arched brow.

“I’d like to talk about some stuff that’s happened recently,” I said firmly. “And about us.”

The narrowing of her eyes was so quick that I almost missed it; her features quickly returned to a receptive expression. She rose from her seat and took my right hand in hers as she guided us to the edge of our bed to sit.

“Does this have anything to do with the parking garage incident from the other night?” she asked. “Or is it your birthday gift that’s still bothering you?”

Damn. I’m being outflanked already.

“More the former than the latter,” I said.

“Okay. Go on,” she said.

Despite her encouragement, I still felt uneasy.

Well, here goes nothing.

“I think—” I said. “Rather, I feel like you frequently make decisions for me. I think it’s better if we act as equals in our relationship, don’t you?”

Okay, that came out more bluntly than I’d hoped.

One of her eyebrows momentarily arched before returning to its former position.

“What I mean is, I feel like you sometimes disregard my preference in matters, especially in front of others. You sometimes order me around instead of asking my opinion. Some people might call that emasculating.”

“Emasculating? And by
some
, do you have somebody specific in mind?” she asked. “Do
you
think that I emasculate you, or is that something you feel pressured by others to believe?”

Realizing I was suddenly treading in potentially dangerous waters, I paused to consider her question at length.

“Nobody’s pressuring me into this,” I said. “But let’s take right now, for example. You’re challenging me just for bringing up the topic.”

There. I said it.

But why do I feel like some overly-emo schmuck?

The look of shock on her face surprised me, and I watched as her expression morphed into something introspective. Her fingers lightly caressed the top of my hand in a soothing, yet mechanical, process.

Okay, this is going better than I expected.

Seconds later, her fingers froze in place and her eyes captured mine in a flat stare.

Strike that. This isn’t good.

“So, you’re saying anytime I disagree with your preference on something, even if I feel it’s counter to your safety, particularly when I’m much more informed than you on the matter and you’re willing to recklessly endanger yourself, I’m emasculating you?” she asked.

I swallowed, slowly digesting the multiple parts of her question.

“If I understand you correctly, that’s it exactly,” I said, chin held firmly up. “It’s a control issue, essentially. It’s how you demonstrate control in front of others, as well as to me.”

Paige would be so proud of me.

“So, I’m too controlling, as well?” she asked in a cool voice.

Eerily cool, in my opinion.

“And I
emasculate
you? Make you feel
inferior
?” she asked.

With a swift pull of my hand, she rose from the bedside, hauling me to my feet.

“What the—?”

She foot swiped my legs from beneath me, using my arm to smoothly control my fall facedown onto the carpet. Then she held my arm straight upward behind my back as pain centered in my shoulder.

“Ow!”

I felt the pressure of her bare foot against my shoulder blades, pressing me into the carpet.

“Kat, what hell are you doing?!” I demanded, glaring sideways at her as I stared at her other bare foot.

“Now
this
is emasculating,” she said coldly.

I was too stunned to say anything else.

I attempted to leverage my upper body strength to push myself up from the floor, to no avail.

Okay, this really sucks.

“Let go!” I yelled. “And get your damned foot off my back!”

“I have all day,” she said.

“For
what
?”

“For you to see the difference, Caleb,” she said. “What I’m doing now is undoubtedly emasculating.”

“Fine, let me go,” I said.

“Apologize first,” she said.

“No,” I said. “You’re full of crap if you think---”

She lifted my arm ever slightly while maintaining the pressure of her foot on my back.

More pain ensued.

“Okay, okay. I apologize,” I said.

I battled between the conflicting feelings of confusion and mortification over having to apologize.

Dammit, she was the one at fault, not me.

And like a swiftly passing storm, her right foot disappeared from behind my back and she let go of my arm, which flopped down beside me.

Before I could push myself up from the carpeted floor, she moved with that fast, vampire-like speed to perch on the side of the bed again, casually crossing one leg over the other.

My arm and shoulder ached as I rose to my knees, only to see her right foot hovering playfully in the air before me.

I fought against the sudden urge to bite her big toe, just for spite.

“I’ve never done anything like that to you, either privately or in public, and I didn’t relish doing it just now,” she said. “When I first met you, you were practically afraid of your own shadow, and I’ve worked so damned hard to help build your self-esteem and self-confidence. Why then, would I ruin your progress?”

I was too angry with her at the moment to give her question a passing thought.

“You accused me of emasculating you. What a low blow, Caleb,” she said with narrowed eyes. “Oh, I’m sure your tender ego is bruised right now, but it’s important that you truly understand what the hell you’re talking about before you dare accuse me of harsh things like that. In fact, I feel very hurt and insulted that you’ve such a low opinion of me.”

To say I was still furious with her was an understatement of epic proportion. With one fluid motion, I rose to a standing position and glared daggers at her.

“Yes?” she asked. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone else about this. It’s just our little secret.”

My mouth opened to say something but I was too pissed off to respond. I’d only end up saying something I’d later regret.

Instead, I stormed from the room.