Authors: H. S. Cross
Morgan dried his face on his sleeve. Was the man actually unhinged? In retrospect, something about his rooms in Fridaythorpe was disconcertingly hermit-like. Why was he not living at the Academy proper? The other undermasters lived in the Houses. Lockett-Egan, for instance, served as attaché to Clement and essentially ran the House. Why did Grieves not occupy a similar position, in Morgan's own House, for instance? Hazlehurst certainly needed setting straight, or at least the energy to give a damn. Grieves, whatever one might say against him, gave a damn.
The edge had come off Morgan's hunger enough for him to think straight. What had Grieves actually said? The man harbored suspicions about Rees, suspicions that harmonized with the rumor Morgan had heard about Spaulding. It would be absurd for Grieves to approach Morgan over a rumor, so there was only one possible conclusion: Grieves knew that Rees had been abroad, too. It strained reason to imagine that Spaulding had trespassed with a third party while Rees trespassed independently with a fourth, all of them failing to encounter the marauding bands of Third Formers. There were limits to what circumstance could support. Which meant that Spaulding's companion had to be Rees.
Morgan longed for a cigarette. The idea of Spaulding with Rees was as distasteful as when Morgan first heard it, but now it possessed the weight of possibility. Rees and Spaulding were both in Burton-Lee's House and both enjoyed their Housemaster's good opinion. Spaulding's athleticism drew his Housemaster's loyalty, but Rees had attracted the Flea's sympathies for reasons beyond Morgan's grasp. Perhaps Burton knew Rees's people.
But even if Spaulding and Rees could be linked through rumor and circumstance, a liaison between them was impossible if one remembered Burton's particular vigilance against such things. How on earth could they have absconded together in the middle of the night?
Perhaps they had taken their leave for more wholesome purposes: drinking, for instance, cattle rustling, theft. Spaulding could have scouted the target in the afternoonâa nearby farm? the collection box of the church in Fridaythorpe?âand then conducted the burglary in the night, egged on by Revolting Rees.
A vision of Rees done for theft cheered Morgan considerably. How the mighty would fall, and how angry the Flea would be! S-K would have a coronary and dispose Rees in disgrace, perhaps after a public flogging. Such a sight would raise everyone's spirits. There just remained the problem of Spaulding. Surely such a sportsman could be spared the ultimate penalty? Watching Spaulding undergo a public licking might prove delicious, but expulsion, no.
Another idea came to him then, not shimmering as brightly as the morning's shimmering idea, but glowing like a bulb at the end of a corridor. It suggested a gentle course of action, and before any alarms could be raised, before the rest of his brain could resume its exhaustive and exhausting cogitation, Morgan's feet had decamped the washroom and were carrying him across the cloisters to the classrooms. Avoiding the Latin room, they carried him upstairs, along the upper passage, and down the far stairs to Lockett-Egan's English class, where reclined the Lower Sixth, dazed by torpor, kept just awake by their master's dynamic reading of â¦
â
Two vast and trunkless legs
â
âPardon me, sir, Morgan said from the door.
Lockett-Egan paused as if hoping for reprieve.
âThe Head to see Spaulding, please.
So many exorbitant things turned out to be breathtakingly simple once you did them.
Â
Spaulding was pale. Morgan led him through the cloisters, and at the turn to the Head's house, he took Spaulding's sleeve and pulled him through chapel doors, up stone steps, and along the darkened passage to the old chamber.
âWhat's the idea? Spaulding protested at last.
Morgan lit a match before the panel's keyhole. His hands at least had not forgotten the place. His knife sprang the lock, and the door to the Hermes Balcony opened.
Simple, breathtaking, once done. He stepped inside that aerie, its clutter of broken chairs undisturbed since his youth, its only light blue through stained glass, its view inside the chapel silent as ever, that secret perch where Morgan had sought refuge, where Hermes had stashed wishes, whereâ
âYou'd better have a bloody good explanation.
Spaulding squeezed through the panel, blowing dust and every qualm away. New presence, new air. Two bodies side by side breathing in and out.
âNo one comes here, Morgan said. Not even Pearl and Lydon.
Spaulding peered over the rail; a candle was glowing in a red glass far away.
âYou're in danger, Morgan whispered, more than you think.
Spaulding caught his breath.
âThey're onto Rees, Morgan said.
A flinch, like disbelief and fright.
âThey don't know about you yet, Morgan said, but they will.
In a burst of motion, Spaulding kicked the railing, and the sound echoed through the chapel.
âIt's finished anyhow, he said.
âYesterday?
Spaulding nodded. Morgan longed to press his hand against Spaulding's chest and feel his heart pound.
âAnd last night?
Spaulding recoiled.
âYou were on the road, Morgan said. You climbed in theâ
âWas that you?
âYou locked me out!
Spaulding froze, as if putting several things together.
âSorry, he said.
âSo the least you can do is give me an explanation.
Spaulding turned his gaze upon him. Morgan barely suppressed the urge to laugh.
âWas it burglary?
âWhat do you take me for?
âWhat then?
âYou know what.
Morgan's heart beat in his cheeks. Here was admission: bald, impossible, true.
âBut,
Rees
�
âI'm not going to explain, Spaulding said.
âWhere did you go last night?
âWhere did
you
go?
A tantalizing standoff. If only it could last â¦
âRan away, Morgan said. Came back.
Spaulding scrutinized him.
âQuid pro quo, Morgan insisted.
He sat down on the floor and leaned against the paneling to illustrate resolve, and leisure. They could stay there all afternoon. No one would find them. Unaccounted time lapped about them, silence to be filled, air to breathe. Morgan licked his lips. Spaulding looked away:
âIf you must know, we were at McKay's barn.
Morgan's arm twinged. Farmer McKay kept a ramshackle barn on the other side of Abbot's Common. Morgan had been there once with Laurie and Nathan, but Nathan thought the structure unsound, and Laurie objected to the smell. The place had a sad, reduced appearance that indicated sons lost to war, leaving an aging man with no one to care for his property and no hope for his future. The barn itself ought to have been torn down years before, Nathan had said, but evidently Farmer McKay could not be bothered demolishing it, allowing it instead to die the slow death of atrophy, planks slowly rotting, hay turning gradually to dust.
âWhy go there? Morgan asked. It's grim.
Spaulding unbuttoned his jacket:
âFar enough not to be disturbed.
âAnd just what needed so much undisturbing?
Spaulding sat down and leaned against an old, broken chair.
âWhat do you think, Wilberforce?
His ears flushed. Spaulding had never before addressed him by name.
âSpaulding?
âWhat?
âWhat is it about Rees?
The question fell between them. Spaulding dropped his head onto his arms but did not answer. An idea came to Morgan, as logical as it was shocking:
âDon't tell me he's your first.
Head still on his arms, Spaulding did not protest. Morgan leaned forward and let his knee touch Spaulding's gray trousers.
âIs it true what people say about him?
Spaulding didn't move:
âWhich part?
âThe part that's hard to believe.
âIf you mean Nell Gwynn, then yes.
Rees?
âIn your House, or beyond?
âIt's a nuisance outside the House, he says.
Preposterous!
âBut how did heâ¦?
âWilberforce, Spaulding said languidly, don't be prurient.
Morgan thought of Accounting, of the things Silk had taught him and the methods he had used. He leaned back as Spaulding was, allowing more of his leg to lie beside Spaulding's, setting his hand on the floorboards beside Spaulding's hands, not touching, not quite.
âHow long?
Spaulding grunted:
âI can't begin to imagine where you get your nerve.
Morgan craved a cigarette but did not dare to light one above the chapel. Instead, he played idly with the matches from his pocket. As if in response, Spaulding produced a crushed packet and offered it to him.
If Spaulding proposed smoking, Morgan would smoke, whether overlooking chapel altar or S-K's very bedchamber.
They passed it between them. Morgan's fingers brushed Spaulding's. His lips touched where Spaulding's had. They inhaled the same smoke through the same leaves and paper.
Spaulding was different up close. He seemed more human, though not entirely mortal. Spaulding possessed something ordinary people could never possess, and that something drew people to him. Here in the Hermes Balcony, distant outpost of Olympus, Morgan sat side by side with him and passed the dwindling cigarette back and forth as if such things were natural.
âSpaulding?
âMmm?
As if they'd been friends for ages. As if sounds could replace words between them. Morgan allowed the sole of his shoe to rest against Spaulding's ankle.
âDid anyone see you, Morgan asked, coming or going last night?
âOnly you.
âWhat about the fags?
âWhat about the brutes?
âDid youâ¦?
âSee them wrecking doors and stealing canes? No, unfortunately. Wouldn't mind giving a few of them a good kick where it hurts.
âAre yours as bad as ours?
Spaulding grimaced:
âI don't think any are as bad as yours.
A bleakness amidst it all, that even Spaulding knew the anarchy of Alex and his cadre.
âSpaulding?
âThat's what they call me.
âWhat else do they call you?
âI don't think it bears repeating.
âI'm Morgan.
âI know, Spaulding said. I'm Charles.
Charles. Morgan's uncle's name was Charles. Until this moment, Charles had been a round, traditional type of name. Now it emitted electricity like a poorly wired lamp.
â
How
do you know? Morgan asked.
Christian names were reserved for intimates; displaying interest in another boy's Christian name was not done.
âDo you imagine you're the only one? Spaulding said.
â
Only one?
âThe only one who likes to find things out.
Spaulding
liked to find things out
? Find things out about people, up to and including Morgan. Find things out up to and including his Christian name, which could mean a myriad of things, up to and including the desire to seduce him.
And here was Spaulding, pinching out the end of their shared cigarette, content to be kidnapped from lessons and to lounge in a balcony with Morgan, with whom he had previously exchanged but a few sentences.
âI suppose the others know, Morgan said.
âThe others?
âBux and Ledge and the rest. They never leave your side. You must have told them about Rees.
âWrong, Spaulding said.
âWhich part?
Spaulding turned to face him:
âNo one knows, and I'd like to keep it that way.
âThen why tell me?
âFor heaven's sake, Wilberforce, why do you think?
Spaulding licked the tip of the cigarette and placed it in the lining of his jacket. With equal deliberation he reached over with his free hand, felt for the buttons of Morgan's trousers, and began to work them open.
A flood of heat. His cock filled as it had beneath Silk's hand, but quicker, instant. Spaulding still reclined against the broken chairs, his left hand tucking away the cigarette packet, his right idly loosening Morgan's flies, his eyes gazing up at the ceiling, as if they were counting constellations together. Soon Spaulding's hand had gained admittance not only to his trousers, but to his pants, and with cold fingers was grasping him. Morgan inhaled, taken by the rough and chill, intent on not letting himself go.
Morgan unfastened his trousers the rest of the way and then reached over and unbuttoned Spaulding. It was happening. Everywhere, now, here. Spaulding was looking at him and touching him and breathing on him, and everything, everythingâ
A bell clanged. Spaulding leapt.
âStay, Morgan whispered. They'll ⦠we can â¦
âDon't be stupid, Wilberforce.
Spaulding pulled away, got up, buttoned himself.
âI assume S-K didn't really ask for me.
He spoke as if in the quad, not meeting Morgan's eye. Morgan still throbbed. Spaulding took his silence as reply. He dusted his clothing, pushed open the panel, and ducked into the passage.
âCharles?
Spaulding stopped but did not turn back.
âDo you fancy Rees?
Really?
Spaulding's shoulders, so square a moment before, sagged.
âYou can't make me rubbish him.
âI'm only trying to understand.
âNo, you aren't, Spaulding said.
Morgan adjusted his clothing.
âDon't go back to that barn, he pleaded. It's ghastly.
âI have to.
âWhy? You said it was finished. Is he blackmailing you?
âNo one blackmails me.
Morgan stepped into the corridor and blocked Spaulding's path.
âIf you say you have to, it means you don't want to. So why do it?
Spaulding moved Morgan's arm as if pushing aside a toll barrier.