Wild About the Man (Mills & Boon Modern Tempted) (15 page)

Nick’s stomach lurched and he stared at his wild, tired eyes in the mirror. OK, he’d start with eating and sleeping and when he got that right, he’d move on up to sex … in about ten years or so.

When Nick made it back to the table, he saw that Jabu was sitting next to Jess, his arm around her shoulders. ‘What are you doing here?’ Nick asked. ‘I thought you had a dentist appointment.’

‘Sorted,’ Jabu replied.

‘And Jabs is family; he’s never needed an invitation to join us!’ Jess snapped.

‘I know that. He’s my brother as much as you guys are. I just asked why he was here,’ Nick grumbled. He pointed a finger at Jabu. ‘You can fly home; I’m going to have a beer.’

Nick ordered his beer and, turning back to the table, saw five faces looking at him. He rolled his eyes and caught a clue. ‘So, what is this? An intervention?’ he barked.

Jess, still the gutsiest of his siblings, took a breath and spoke first. ‘This is us, telling you that
we are worried about you. And we don’t care if you tell us to mind our own business; we’re your family and we love you, so deal with it. And we won’t let you go back into hiding so don’t even think about threatening us with that!’

Nick held up his fingers and made a cross. ‘Calm down. I’m not going anywhere and I’m not going to go back into hiding. I’m fine, OK? Seriously.’

‘You are not fine,’ Jabu snapped. ‘You are miserable and short and scratchy and a pain. Will you just call the woman already and get her back here?’

Nick’s laugh was hollow. ‘Yeah … no. Why should I?’

‘Because she made you happy.’ Patrick used his psychiatrist’s voice and Nick wanted to punch him. ‘She’s a nice person, Nicholas, and good for you.’

‘You met her once. How the hell would you know?’ Nick snapped.

Jess reached into her bag and passed Nick a note. He looked down at Clem’s writing and his hand started to shake.

Nick handed the note back to Jess and took a sip of his beer, not realizing that a muscle in his cheek was jumping. ‘Nice of her.’

‘A leather-bound copy of Dickens’s
Christmas Carol
for Mom, an artist’s beret from a vintage clothes shop for Dad as a joke. Thoughtful, kind presents,’ Jess said.

Nick’s hand shook as he lifted his beer. ‘As I said, nice of her. I never said she couldn’t be nice.’

‘Yeah,’ Jabu commented. ‘Like it was nice of her to donate her entire pay cheque from that crazy reality show to the foundation. Seven hundred and fifty thousand?’

Hell, in the scheme of things he’d forgotten about the original deal they’d struck. The foundation had three-quarters of a million in their coffers … in dollars. They could do some excellent work with that type of money.

Nice but … Nick let out a breath. It didn’t make a damn bit of difference; she was still thousands of miles away because he had told her to go. And because he hadn’t done a thing to bring her back.

‘Look, Clem wasn’t cut out for living at Two-B. She was useless!’ Nick ground out, using the only excuse he could to convince them he’d been right to let her go. It wasn’t as if he could say,
I sent her away because I’m terrified of what I was feeling for her.

‘She wasn’t that helpful, she doesn’t understand what it takes to run a reserve, she couldn’t tell the difference between a water buck and a kudu!’ Nick dug his hole deeper and he saw the scepticism on their faces. He sighed, he knew it sounded lame. He sounded stupid … he hated sounding stupid. But stupid, he was coming to accept, he definitely was.

Chris leaned back in his seat and looked at Jabu and his siblings. ‘Well, doesn’t that just make sense? We get it now. How could you possibly love a woman who can’t tell the difference, after being there for just a month, between two antelope species?’

Nick glared at him. ‘You don’t understand!’

‘Too right I don’t! So what—did you draw up a list of criteria for the woman you fall in love with? Has to have a degree in wildlife management …’

‘Minor in Ornithology …’ John added.

‘A degree in animal medicine would be nice …’ Patrick added his two cents’ worth.

Nick scowled at Jabu. ‘You have anything pertinent to add?’

‘Their points are valid; what are you looking for in a partner? A worker for Two-B or someone
who makes you happy?’ Jabu shrugged. ‘And may I point out the obvious?’

‘No, you may not,’ Nick muttered.

‘You had all that in Terra and you were never as happy with her as you are with Clem.’ Jabu sent him a sympathetic smile. ‘Nick, pull yourself together and do something about her, for all of our sakes! Please?’

Nick opened his mouth to argue … and snapped it shut again. He shook his head and pushed his chair back from the table. Draining his beer as he stood, he placed it on the table, turned on his heel and walked out of the restaurant.

In his car, he rested his forehead against the steering wheel and cursed. His family was right, damn it. Letting her leave, pushing her away was, to date, the stupidest, most asinine, chronically pathetic decision of his life. He loved her, he missed her and he’d sent her away because he had the courage of a fainting goat. He’d been scared of her leaving, frightened that he couldn’t live without her and guess what? She had left and he couldn’t live without her.

So what the hell was he supposed to do now?

His mobile chirped and he picked it up from the passenger seat and frowned at the BBM from Jess.

So, does your storming out of the restaurant mean that you’re going to bring her home? BTW, it’s only a couple of months until Christmas, we’d
like her as a sister-in-law. An early Christmas present.

Jess … Nick had to grin at her message. Subtle as a buffalo.

Luella Dawson’s blog:

CLEM
sat in the green room and thought that her heart was going to bang out of her chest. She reached for Jason’s hand and gripped his fingers.

‘Am I doing the right thing?’ she demanded, her smoky eyes frantic.

‘We discussed this Clem, this is your way of closing this door …’

Clem shook her head. ‘I think it’s a mistake!’

Jason nodded to a staffer who appeared in the door. ‘Too late now, it’s time.’

Clem bit her lip and clung to Jason before walking off with the staffer. Anyone, Jason thought with a wry smile, would think she was going off to the executioner.

He whipped his mobile out of his pocket and opened up his contacts. He jumped when Clem poked her head back around the door. ‘You didn’t call him and tell him about this, did you?’

‘Who?’ he asked, holding the mobile against his leg.

‘Nick. You said you wouldn’t.’

‘I haven’t called him, Clem,’ Jason replied.

‘Because if he wanted me then he would’ve called me by now,’ Clem said, her voice edged with despair.

‘Miss Copeland, we’re going to be late.’

‘I haven’t called him, Clem,’ Jason shouted after her. Well, he hadn’t … He slammed his mobile closed and tossed it onto the coffee table.

Damn it, he’d been so close.

Nick rubbed a towel over his wet head and considered his options on how to approach Clem. He was planning to call her father today to find out where she was and then he’d book the first flight out; he couldn’t say what he needed to say on the phone or by e-mail … No, he needed to do this face to face.

He owed her that much. Besides, she could disconnect a call or not reply to an e-mail.

He pulled on a pair of shorts as his BlackBerry buzzed, alerting him to a new e-mail message. His heart leapt at the subject line and considered himself an absolute anorak for plugging Clem into Google alerts after he’d left the restaurant in Jo’burg yesterday. This was the first new alert he’d had and he opened the link.

Luella Dawson—wasn’t she the same person who’d interviewed Cai and Clem? Nick glanced at his watch, calculated the time difference and yelped … It was due to start! He hopped over the couch to grab the remote off the coffee table and hit the buttons and there she was, dressed in solid black. A polo neck under a tunic over tights and knee-high boots. Her locket glinted under the studio lights and Nick leaned forward to get closer to her.

Her hair was longer and clipped back from her face and she was still too skinny … Had she been eating at all since she’d left?’

Luella and Clem took their seats and Nick held his fist to his mouth, hardly listening as they complimented each other on their outfits and hair.

‘So, Clem, the last time you were here you vomited into a rather nice bag.’

Clem smiled and Nick’s stomach turned over. ‘I did.’

‘But, let’s start our chat off with what everyone wants to know. What’s the status of The Crazy Cs?’

‘Cai and I are over.’

‘We all know that there are degrees of over, especially in Hollywood.’

‘There will never be any chance of reconciliation between us,’ Clem answered in a firm voice.

Good to know, Nick thought.

Luella glanced down at her notes. ‘Are you
prepared to give us details of whether there was a financial settlement between you?’

‘Come on, Luella,’ Clem chided.

‘The public is interested.’ Luella wasn’t chastised at all.

Clem shrugged. ‘I took my clothes, my mother’s furniture and art, and I kept my flat in London. That’s it.’

Luella looked gob-smacked. ‘No cash settlement? You were with him for a decade!’

Clem crossed her legs. ‘I don’t need his money, Luella.’

‘I know that you have an income from a trust your mother set up for you but would you consider a job?’

‘Why not? Hard work doesn’t scare me.’

Luella raised her ruthlessly plucked eyebrows. ‘It doesn’t?’

No, it didn’t, Nick realized. She’d never been afraid to get her hands dirty, to put in the hours.

‘So, are you on good terms with Cai?’ Luella probed.

He felt, rather than saw, Clem’s internal eye roll. ‘I wish him nothing but happiness, but he is a part of my past and I’ve moved on.’

Luella tipped her head. ‘So, what have you been up to since you left The Baobab and Buffalo Lodge?’

Clem smiled. ‘This and that.’

‘Your PA sent us an update. Apparently you’re studying?’

Clem crossed her legs again. ‘I have registered for a couple of correspondence courses and intend to get my degree in business management.’

‘Are you joining your father’s company?’

‘No. I’m thinking about setting up a foundation, in my mum’s name, to establish a rhino sanctuary in both Africa and on the sub-Indian continent, looking at caring for and raising baby rhinos whose mothers have been poached in the wild.’

Luella looked astounded. ‘Why on earth do you want to do that?’

‘Rescuing that baby rhino at Two-B had a big impact on me.’

The Princess was gone, Nick thought. This confident woman on the screen was taking responsibility for her life, trying to make a difference, to throw her energy into something she believed in. Maybe he’d sparked her interest in the cause but he could hear the passion in her voice … She was just perfect.

‘So, we’ll come back to your future plans in a moment,’ Luella said. ‘Is London home now?’

The camera zoomed in on Clem’s face and Nick saw the flash of pain in her eyes and he sucked in his breath. ‘Yes …’

Luella, good interviewer that she was, picked up the hesitation he heard in Clem’s voice. She leaned forward and looked intently at Clem. ‘From the footage of your time in Africa, we all
thought that you’d found the place you loved best. And it wasn’t London.’

Clem’s eyes deepened and she licked her bottom lip and Nick—and probably everybody else in the world watching—knew that Luella had pierced through her reserve to the vulnerability beneath.

‘Maybe.’

Images of Clem and him—courtesy of the reality show—slid onto the wide screens behind their heads and Nick felt his eyes sting. Clem, her head resting on the back of the lounger, bare feet up on the railing of the deck, laughing up at him, her face open and happy. Both of them grinning like crazy at each other after they’d rescued the baby rhino, Clem with bed head in the morning, looking at him over her coffee cup. A magnificent photograph of Clem’s wide smile as she stood on the red carpet just after he’d told her that he preferred her muddy and dirty.

She looked as if she belonged here in his house, with him.

Hell, she did and it was time he did something about it. Nick grabbed his mobile and dialled.

‘Hoped I’d be hearing from you,’ Jason said, his voice smug.

‘Tell them to Skype me in to the show. Do you think they’d do that?’

‘Do lions roar? Grab your computer, then don’t move,’ Jason said, thoroughly overexcited.

‘It’s right here, next to me.’ Nick flipped the
lid, powered it up and glanced at the TV screen again. He tossed his mobile on the table and took a seat on the couch, the computer on the coffee table in front of him and his eyes on the TV screen.

Well, it was time that he showed her, and himself, that he did have a little more courage than a fainting goat.

Not much, but some.

Clem wished she could glance at her watch to see how much time she had left on this torture session. It was worse than sorting the waste for recycling at Two-B. They’d just come back from the advertisement break and she wondered what had caused the buzz of excitement amongst the crew and why Luella had gone into a private huddle with a producer.

Another celebrity scandal, she presumed. It didn’t matter. After this she was done with being a celebrity or anything close to one. She’d just be Clem Copeland again and she couldn’t wait. Nothing would make her happier … Oh, liar, she could cope with being back at Two-B but that wasn’t going to happen.

It had been four weeks of complete and utter silence. He hadn’t changed his mind and she had no expectation of him doing so.

Luella put her hand on Clem’s knee and she jumped. ‘Sorry, miles away.’

‘And we’re back in three, two, one …’

Luella smiled at the camera and turned back to Clem. ‘So, Clem, we’ve had quite a few texts and e-mails from our viewers asking questions and we’re getting quite a few Skype calls. Would you mind answering some questions from our viewers?’

Clem lifted her hands. Anything to get this done. ‘Sure.’

Luella turned to a screen to her left where a text message appeared. ‘You and Nick seemed to have a real connection. Do you talk?’

Clem swallowed. Of course they were going to ask about Nick, it was to be expected. But what could she say? I’m madly in love with the man but he doesn’t want me?

‘Nick is a very busy man and this is a crazy time for him. We don’t talk that often.’

Like never.

‘Pity,’ Luella murmured. ‘We have a Skype call from Jade in California.’

‘Hi, Clem.’ A perky, busty blonde waved at her from the screen. ‘I love your fashion style. Who are your favourite designers?’

Clem sighed her relief. Easy one. ‘I don’t have any favourite designers … I love them all, as my closet will happily tell you. I have outfits from everybody, including second-hand shops. I love vintage dresses and hats.’

‘Thank you, Jade. Another Skype call. Hannah in … Hong Kong?’

Hannah in Hong Kong was tiny and gorgeous
with jet-black hair and a bright red mouth. ‘Are you in love with Nick?’

Oooh, solid blow. Clem gripped her locket and tried to smile. ‘I think that’s too personal a question.’

Luella’s eyes flashed with excitement. ‘The calls and texts and e-mails are flooding in. Another Skype call, Clem.’

‘I’m quite interested in getting a definitive answer to the last question,’ a deep and disturbingly familiar voice said and Clem’s head shot up to see Nick on the big screen behind Luella.

‘Hey, Red.’

Clem leaned forward and put her fingers to her mouth. ‘Nick … what?’

‘Well?’

Clem shook her head, confused. ‘I’m sorry … what are you doing?’

‘Trying to find out whether you love me or not.’ Nick lifted his coffee cup to his lips as he waited for her answer and Clem saw that his fingers were shaking. Seeing that he was nervous—her strong, steady, confident man—had her eyebrows lifting. Her heart felt as if it were about to free fall out of her chest.

‘Is my answer that important to you?’ Clem managed to get the words out, and in the right order.

‘Well, I wouldn’t be asking it on a TV show if I didn’t think it was.’

Then Clem remembered their last conversation
and her eyes, and voice, cooled. ‘Why are you doing this, Nick? Haven’t you done enough?’

Nick blew out his cheeks and nodded. ‘Look, I don’t blame you for being angry but can I at least explain?’

Clem leaned back, crossed her arms and tipped her head. ‘Go on then.’

‘Now?’

‘I’m listening.’

‘So am I,’ Luella interjected.

‘And the rest of the world,’ Nick complained. ‘Look, Red, I’ll catch a plane, we’ll sit down and thrash this out.’

Clem shook her head. ‘No time like the present.’

Nick narrowed his grey shadowed eyes at her. ‘You’re doing this to punish me, aren’t you?’

‘You’re the one that called in to the show,’ Clem pointed out. ‘If you don’t have anything pertinent to say then I’m sure that there are other callers.’ She cocked her head. ‘So, do you want to tell me why it is important for you to know whether I love you or not?’

Nick shoved his hand into his hair. ‘Because I think it’s all that would fill up the hole I have in my life, my heart, my home.’

‘If that’s true, then why did you boot me out of your life like I was nothing?’

‘Because you were everything.’

Clem swallowed. ‘I don’t understand. You said we didn’t have a future, that I wasn’t suited to
your life, that I couldn’t stick it out. That I was a stupid society girl who should go back to her parties and pleasure.’

‘I know what I said, Clem, and I’m sorry for it. All of it.’ Nick rubbed his forehead. When he spoke again his voice was terse with frustration and worry. ‘What do you want me to say? Do you want me to say that I was bone-deep scared of what I was feeling—do feel—for you?’

‘And are you? Scared?’

‘Yes! You turned my life on its head and I thought that if I sent you away then I could go back to normality. But I found out that normality sucks. And yes, what I feel for you scares the hell out of me!’

‘Then why are you here, talking to me?’

‘I thought I could live without you, but I can’t. I thought that I could stop these crazy feelings for you, but I can’t.’ Nick placed his forearms on his thighs and leaned forward. His eyes were steel-grey with emotion and the saliva in Clem’s mouth disappeared. ‘I can’t, Red. Anything. Everything. Not without you.’