Authors: Christine Feehan
“Do you ever get lost in this house?”
He laughed softly, the sound startling her. He had a beautiful laugh. It was soft and warm and totally addicting. She could listen to that sound for the rest of her life.
“I don't know why you're laughing, because I'm going to get
very
lost. I have no sense of direction.” That wasn't entirely true, but if it kept him laughing she'd be satisfied.
“I'll put up signs for you,” he said. “Big ones that you can't miss.” He dipped his head down, his chin sliding over the top of her head before he swept her to what obviously was the center of the house, a large glass atrium. “They're all going to point straight back to me.”
She stopped dead, forcing him to stop as well. She looked
around her in shock. The atrium was filled with plants, trees even. Thick, beautiful bushes and flowering plants were everywhere. Water trickled over stones lined with bright green moss. It was a massive room that curved and twisted so it was impossible to see everything.
“Oh. My. God. This is why you bought the house.” It was beautiful. The most beautiful thing she'd ever seen.
“Not exactly,” he denied. “But a part of it. I told you about the exits in the bedroom. This house has many escape routes built in. Safe places for both human and leopard. The atrium has the best hidden exits for leopards. It's a labyrinth of underground tunnels.”
She tilted her head to look up at him, her breasts pressed into his side. His gaze found hers, his eyes back to mercury, a glittering,
scary
look that meant they were on dangerous ground. There were reasons for needing escape routes. Reasons like Marco, a hit man sent by someone who supposedly was a friend.
The iron bar that was his arm tensed as he moved her forward around the huge glass room to the kitchen just beyond it. There was a small group of comfortable chairs where others could gather while the cook prepared a meal, and Elijah led her straight to the most comfortable armchair.
“You can curl up there.” He slid the pad of his thumb over her lips. “I notice you like to pull your feet up onto any chair you're sitting on. This one has enough room to do that.”
Her heart did that curious melting thing. He'd noticed the habit she'd had since as far back as she could remember. He'd noticed, and he'd found the perfect chair for her to relax in. It was much more difficult resisting him than she thought it would be because he really cared enough to notice everything about her.
Siena drew her knees up and rested her chin on top, her eyes on him as he moved around the kitchenâin the dark.
“You like grilled cheese?”
“Do you grill it in butter?”
His white teeth flashed and then disappeared. A small grin, but every cell in her body reacted. He was beautiful. Handsome.
“Is there any other way?”
“Nope.” She could look at him forever. When she was a teenager she'd stared at pictures of him, spent hours studying him from every angle. She especially liked his wild hair and his exotic, unusual eyes. Silver. Gray. Dark. He had so many different colors to his eyes depending on his mood. Now she knew part of that was his leopard.
“Elijah? Why would my grandfather want you dead? Why would he want any of them dead? When I confronted him, he said he had to strike before you did. What did that mean?”
She kept her eyes on him, leopard eyes, using the sight that allowed her to see six times better than her human eyes in the dark. She used her leopard senses to listen for a lie. She wanted to catch every change in his body language.
Elijah sighed. “These are things you don't need to know or worry about, Siena. That life, that part of my life, should never touch you. It will, but I'd prefer to keep it to a minimum. You knowing anything puts you at risk.”
There was honesty in his voice. She didn't hear the slightest hint of subterfuge, and she listened for it.
“I'm already at risk,” she pointed out. “I'm sitting here with you, Elijah, in your kitchen. In your shirt. Your baby in my womb. Your cock was just inside of me. I'm already at risk, and I want to know what risk there is for my child before I make any commitment to you.”
The moment the words came out of her mouth, his gaze jumped to hers. Glittery. Slashing. Silver this time. Dark silver. Cutting silver. His leopard was there, stamped on his face, a predatory animal, all male and very, very dominant. He had gone completely still. A statue, standing there on the other side of the aisle, frozen in place, a frying pan in his fist.
She didn't fool herself that she was safe. She knew what
a leopard could do. One jump could cover sixty feet easily. She was far less than sixty feet away from him.
“You're sitting in my kitchen. In my shirt. My baby in your womb. My cock was just inside of you, and deep inside, you've still got my seed. Make no mistake, Siena. None. You're already committed to me. You made that commitment when you gave your body to me. When I came inside you and your eyes went dazed and that beauty was on your face. Don't think you can give that to me and then take it back. Because, baby, that shit is fucking not going to happen. Not ever.”
His voice was rough. Edgy. Harsh even. There was no hint of softness, or gentle or tender. She found herself facing the savage nature of the leopard. They stared at each other, and Siena refused to back down.
She lifted her chin in defiance, her hand coming up to cover her belly protectively. His gaze fastened on her chin and his eyes went darker. Sexy. All male. Uh-oh. She'd, without saying a word, made things worse. She knew that just by his eyes, and when he put down the frying pan and stalked across the room toward her.
S
IENA
didn't break eye contact. Her heart beat wildly as Elijah prowled across the room in utter silence. He didn't make a single sound. She could hear her own heart pounding and the roar of blood in her ears as he approached. He could intimidate from across the room, but up close, he was terrifying. She held her breath when, for a moment, he towered over her.
Abruptly he crouched low, catching her chin in his hand. “You. Do.
Not.
Ever
. Look at me like that. I'm
not
Paolo. I would never hurt you. My leopard would never hurt you.”
His fingers tightened on her chin and he bent his head until his mouth was inches from hers. “What I might do, you keep defying me like this, is tie you to my bed and fuck your brains out until you cry for mercy and beg me to put a ring on your finger. I'm not above doing that. Using sex to get my way. And baby, fair warning, I'm damned good at sex. I can get very creative. So you think to run from me
and take away my woman because things get a little dicey, think again.”
She sucked in her breath, mostly because she wanted to see how truly creative he could be and that meant continuing to defy him, and truthfully, he scared the crap out of her when he was looking so lethal.
Elijah's mouth brushed hers and just that light touch sent a jarring bolt of lightning straight to her core. His eyes didn't close. Neither did hers. They stared at each other, his gaze so intense she felt her resistance was melting.
Siena shook her head to try to break his mesmerizing spell. “You can't order me to stay with you, Elijah. I need to figure this out. I'm not just making decisions for me, but for my baby as well.”
His eyes glittered ominously, and her heart sank. Definitely a mistake. A really, really bad mistake.
“
Our
baby.
Our
child. Not yours, Siena. That baby is mine as well. When you're making those decisions, it isn't just you and the baby. It's you, the baby and
me
. I'm part of that. Don't start by trying to cut me out, because I can tell you, and you'd better listen to me, I'm not getting cut out. Not from our child's life and not from your life. We're working this shit out.”
She pressed her hand hard around her baby. His gaze dropped instantly, noting that small, protective,
minute
movement. His much larger hand covered hers.
“We're better together, Siena. Look at us. The two of us. Together, watching out for our child. I'm the shield. The armor. I'm the one standing in front of you both.
Shielding
you from anything. From everything.”
God.
God.
She wanted him. She wanted him in her life. She wanted the crazy, macho, alpha leopard with his sexy eyes and velvet voice and hard, muscular body. She wanted his protection. She wanted all of itâexcept his lifestyle. Whatever that was.
Because she didn't know.
“Elijah.” She tried soft. Not defiant. She realized defiant
brought out the leopard in him. The dominant. “I'm not trying to take anything away from you. I'm trying to understand. Maybe I'm not using the right words, but I didn't know what kind of terrible things my grandfather was into. My parents were killed by a car bomb. I was kidnapped. I was used to deliver wine so a hit man could sneak into houses and kill people. I lived a lie for years. I will not do that again. I will not have
our
child doing that. So you need to tell me what I
have
to know.”
She reached out her hand and cupped the side of his face, running her thumb along his jaw. “Honey, I'd so much rather
not
know, but I can't do that. I really, really can't, so if you want me in your life, you're going to have to tell me what I'm facing and let me make a decision.”
He stared at her for what seemed an eternity, abruptly pulled away and was on his feet, pacing across the room in long, angry strides, swearing in Spanish. One arm lashed out and for a split second she actually saw a paw as it swiped at the frying pan on the counter and sent it flying. It hit the wall with a loud crash and clattered to the floor.
She bit down hard on her lower lip and pressed her hand tighter against her belly. She had really roused the leopard. She curled deeper into the chair, grateful that Elijah paced back and forth on the opposite side of the aisle, keeping it between them. She knew he was attempting to make her feel safe by staying on the other side of the room, but she could actually
feel
the oppressive air, so heavy with his temper.
He didn't want to tell her anything. That was a really bad sign. Still, she couldn't back down. She wanted toâfor him. For herself even. But she couldn't, for her child. She sat in the chair, watching Elijah closely. He was angry, yes. She could see that, but not at her. That took a moment to sink in. He was angry with the situation and it dawned on her that he was afraid of losing her.
He didn't want to lose her.
Her heart melted even more.
She'd been honest with him. She couldn't have her child
living in a situation that wasn't safe. Or that was illegal and totally wrong. Drug trafficking? Gun-running ? What exactly was Elijah involved in that he didn't want her to know about? What had her grandfather been involved in aside from having their friends murdered?
With a little sigh she got to her feet, took a deep breath and padded barefoot across the room, to the other side of the island where Elijah stood. She moved in close and wrapped her arms around his middle, leaning her weight into him. He stood stiffly for a moment, every muscle locked in place, his body feeling like a steel wall. Very slowly, almost reluctantly he put his arms around her, locking her to him.
“Honey, I'm asking for an explanation. You said to me you weren't a good man. When you said it, I thought . . . I'd hoped you meant you were dangerous. That you were capable of doing things to protect your family, not that you did something illegal such as selling drugs. I need to know what my grandfather was into because I have the feeling that I inherited his businesses. I have the feeling you know
exactly
what he was into. He didn't have a reputation, not like your family has always had. So I need to know what you're into so I can make an informed decision.”
His hand came up to the back of her head, his palm fitting there, holding her to him. She felt the tension coiled so tight in him.
“I can't lose you, Siena.” His voice was raw with emotion.
When she tried to lift her face away from his chest so she could look into his eyes, he held her still.
“Don't. Not yet. You have to understand. Never in my life have I had someone who was mine. Who looked at me the way you do, as if I was worth something. Me. The man. Not a Lospostos who might do something for them. Not a man to be seen in public with. You see me. I see it in your eyes, Siena. I've always seen it. A leopard doesn't tolerate a femaleâthe wrong femaleâfor very long. I needed sex. I walked around as hard as a fucking rock and I needed a body to get rid of
that ache, but I never felt a fucking thing other than relief. Not until you. Not until I saw you sitting across a table from me with your beautiful eyes, so green a man could get lost forever there. That hair, wild, baby. So wild I knew the wild was in you. That the moment I touched you, you would go up in flames and take me with you.”
His arm locked around her lower hips, pulling her body into his until it felt as if he were imprinted on her skin, in her bones.
“Suddenly sex wasn't just sex. Suddenly it mattered who was with me. It's always been you, Siena. You're the one who got to me. Got inside me. You're in so deep, and I know that sounds crazy because you've only been with me a couple of weeks, but really, it's been years. As sick as that is, it's been years.”
“That doesn't sound sick to me, Elijah,” she protested. She had to give him the truth. “For me, it's always been you. Ever since I sat across from you at that table, I never looked at another man.”
“I know that, baby. I know you gave me that. You gave me your body, something no one else had. Mine. For me. A gift beyond anything I could have ever imagined. Do you think I want to risk losing that?”
Siena pressed her uninjured cheek tight against his chest. She couldn't help but hear the raw honesty in his voice. He didn't attempt to hide it from her. He hadn't hidden his temper, and he also didn't hide how much he wanted her.
“Elijah, fix me my grilled cheese and start with my grandfather. You know if he's some kind of crime lord and I'm inheriting his businesses, I'll need to know what I'm in for. Those businesses are what Paolo is after.”
“He's after all of it. You included. A leopard doesn't go that crazy unless he thinks someone is fucking with what's his.”
“You have to stop dropping f-bombs before the baby's here, honey.” She tipped her head back, and this time he let her. “I'm not Paolo's. I never was.”
“No. But you're mine. You were born to be mine. Siena, I'm asking you, baby, don't take that away from me.”
Siena closed her eyes, trying to block out the sight of his face. It had been a mistake to look at him, look into his silver eyes, darkened now with a kind of fear she never thought she'd ever be capable of putting on someone's face, let alone a man as strong as Elijah. There was raw pain there. She'd done that.
“I'm a lot stronger than you think I am,” she said.
He was silent a moment, studying her face. She felt him take a breath, and then he nodded. “All right, baby, how about we do this. I'll lay it out a step at a time. Not all at once.”
She liked that idea. A lot. “Give me time to process and don't push at me.”
His thumb came up to rub across her lips. “I can do that. But you promise me that you won't run. We talk things out. You don't understand something or you're afraid, you talk it over with me. I'm not losing you because you get scared, Siena.”
She nodded her assent. He'd asked for time, and she'd pushed him, scared for her child, but she could do one step at a time. She could do that.
“I need your word. Say it to me. You give me your word and I'll know you'll keep it. No matter how scared you get or whatever fucked-up thing is whispered in your ear, I know you'll come to me first if you promise me. I swear to you,
mi amorcito
, no matter how bad it is, I'll tell you the truth.”
She searched his eyes for a long time. She was in there. Inside of him. Wrapped deep. She could see that on his faceâhe let her see it. She was slowly becoming more and more aware of the gifts her leopard gave herâand one was the ability to hear the truth. She heard it in his voice.
“I promise I'll talk to you first and get the answers I need, always.” She could give him that. She
wanted
to give him that, because she wanted, more than anything, to have it work out between them. He was the man she'd waited for.
She knew it in her heart. But it wasn't just her she had to think about.
He reluctantly released her, and she curled up in the chair, propping her head up with one hand, studying him as he leaned down to pick up the frying pan.
“You might consider, Elijah, before the baby's born, that you should get that temper under control.”
His gaze cut to her, and then he rinsed the pan in the sink. “That's never going to happen,
querida
, so don't hold your breath. I'm leopard. I stay in control, but I have to release it somehow or my male gets so edgy it's nearly impossible to hold him back. I think we feed on each other's bad temper. But you, and certainly our children, will never be in danger.”
Our children.
She liked that he thought of a future for them. She didn't respond, because she didn't want to have to ask him again to explain what he did. How he came to work for Drake's security company when he was a major player in the underworld. She had said one step at time and he'd told her he'd lay it out for her. She was going to give him the opportunity to do it.
Elijah deftly buttered bread and placed it in the frying pan, adding slices of cheese and then putting on the second piece of bread. “A man by the name of Rafe Cordeau disappeared a few weeks ago. Cordeau was a major player in Louisiana. He ran everything from drugs, guns and a very large stable ofâumâprostitutes to business protection there. He had his hand in just about everything, and he made a fortune at it. No law enforcement agency was ever able to bring him down, and they tried. Over and over. He was known for his violent retaliation. He had no qualms about torture and murder. Every witness that ever thought about testifying against him disappeared, and most turned up dead. They died hard. The others simply disappeared.”
Her grandfather had mentioned Rafe Cordeau. She nodded
her head. The butter sizzled and the scent of melting cheese reached her. Her stomach growled. She was definitely hungry. She rubbed her chin on the tops of her knees and waited.