Wild Dakota Heart (5 page)

Ethan wiped the sweat off his face with a towel. “Denny definitely had a passion for motorcycles. Much more than I did.”

“You’re welcome to try your hand at putting it together yourself.”

“Me?”

“Dad,” Maddie warned. How could her father even think of letting Ethan touch Denny’s things? “Why would you want to bring up all of that now?”

Maddie hadn’t heard her mother come into the room with some of the other people who’d been painting upstairs.

“If I remember correctly, you had done some drawings of that motorcycle, too,” Julie said, a hint of pride in her tone.

Ethan looked at her with surprise. “Denny never mentioned that to me.”

“Maybe he didn’t think they were any good.”

“I doubt that. He kept them, so he must have been proud of them,” Dave said. “Like I said, all those motorcycle parts, including the sketches are still sitting in boxes in the garage. If you want to stop by on your day off and take a look at it, you’re welcome to see what you can do with it, Ethan.”

Julie added brightly, “Yes, and you should stay for dinner. There was a time you were a regular fixture in the Newton kitchen. I miss that. It’ll be nice for the four of us to catch up.”

Maddie made a face that earned her a disapproving look from her mother. Okay, so maybe she
was
being a bit childish. But the last thing she needed was to sit at the dinner table and reminisce with Ethan McKinnon. She couldn’t believe her parents were being so easy-going with the man responsible for the death of their son. How could they just put all that aside and pretend it never happened?

“Are we done here?” she asked.

Dave glanced at Julie, and she shrugged.

“You all did great today,” Ian said. “Thank you for coming to help. You don’t know how much this means to us.”

Dave shook Ian’s hand. Then Ethan’s. “Glad we could do it. It was good seeing everyone, too.” Dave turned to Ethan and said quietly, “Don’t be a stranger. Make sure you stop by the house soon.”

“I will,” Ethan promised.

# # #

When Maddie was a teenager, she’d been consumed with finding out absolutely every move Ethan McKinnon made. Just having him stop by the house to see Denny was enough to make her day. On the rare occasion he got to her parents’ house before Denny got home from work, Ethan would hang out in the front yard. He always brought over an extra soda for Denny, but since Denny wasn’t there, Maddie would sit and drink it while Ethan would talk. And she’d hang on his every word until Denny drove into the driveway and told her to scram.

He’d reminded her of those days when he’d driven her to George’s to pick up her car. It had been years since she’d even allowed herself to think about them. Everything about Ethan McKinnon was larger than life to Maddie back then. It was a lifetime ago and yet…it felt so close.

She pulled into the driveway of her parents’ house. But instead of going inside to say hello, she saw that the garage door was open. She knew who was there. Ethan’s SUV was parked next to her mom’s sedan in the turn-around under the shady sunset maple tree they used to climb as kids. In a few months, that tree would be brilliant with orange and red leaves as if it were on fire.

She walked towards the garage, shielding her eyes from the blinding sun until she stepped inside. Her eyes adjusted quickly to the change of light. Ethan was crouched over the three big boxes that housed all the used motorcycle parts Denny had collected the last year of his life. Ethan had taken most of the parts out and spread them all over the garage floor.

The aching in her gut grew the closer she got to Ethan. Why had her father mentioned this to him?

“So what’s the prognosis?” she asked.

Ethan looked up at her, his face serious with concentration from focusing on each part and its purpose.

“I was wondering if you’d show up today.”

“I don’t know why. I always come here for Sunday dinner.”

“You knew I’d be here.”

She lifted her chin. “Why would that stop me?”

A slow smile played on his lips. “I don’t know. Maybe it’s the fact that you keep telling me you never want to see me again.”

“I belong here. You don’t.”

“I was invited.” He reached back and picked up a soda can from the floor. The outside was wet with condensation. “This is for you.”

She glanced at the floor by his feet. An empty soda can was laying on its side.

“That’s yours.”

“You know I always bring an extra.”

She took the can from his hand. “For Denny. But Denny’s not here anymore, which you seem to keep forgetting.”

Irritation rose up in her, but before she could give into it, Ethan stopped her with a strong look as he slowly stood up, wiping his wet hand on the front of his jeans. “The extra soda was always for you.”

“Oh.”

“You know, you and me have something very real and important in common. We both know what it’s like to lose a brother.”

As fast as her anger came, it evaporated. “It’s not the same thing. You didn’t lose Wade the same way.”

“That's beside the point,” Ethan said. “The point is, you don't understand what truly happened that day.”

“Would it make a difference?” she said. “Or change anything that has happened since?”

His expression was thoughtful. “Probably not. But I do know this. Denny had passion for his ideas.” He picked up a piece of greasy metal that looked like an engine part.

“It’s just heaps of metal,” she said. “It means nothing.”

“That’s where you’re wrong. It was Denny’s dream.”

She gave him an incredulous look. “He was a just a teenager. All teenagers have stupid dreams like that. You sure as hell did.”

“Yeah, I did. I wanted to drive in the Indy 500, but that never happened. I became a SEAL instead.”

She huffed. “Please spare me.”

“Your parents kept the bike parts for a reason, Maddie. Didn’t you ever wonder why? They must have known Denny had a passion for building bikes. It wasn’t just kid stuff. He really liked it. If given enough time, he might have even made it his life. He wanted to take that bike to Sturgis.”

She laughed and paced a few steps. “Sure. That was right up his alley all right. Sturgis is nothing but a party town and an excuse to behave badly. You two did that pretty well all the time.”

Ethan shrugged. “Well, I can’t argue that Sturgis has the reputation for being a wild time.”

“I’ll say.”

“But it’s also where all the best bikes are showcased every year. People come all over to show their creations, show what they can do. That’s what Denny wanted. He had ideas. He was an artist.”

She looked at him, trying to remember the sketches Denny had made when he was a kid. “Denny always loved motorcycles,” she whispered.

“He didn’t have a chance to realize his dream.”

She gave Ethan a hard look.

“Because of you.”

He did nothing to mask the hurt that crossed his face with her harsh accusation. “You’re not always going to hate me, are you? You liked me once. I know you did.”

“I was young.”

“We used to talk…and laugh. You used to stand by the garage and watch me and Denny. I always thought you had a little bit of a crush on me.”

Her cheeks flamed. “I was stupid. Young girls sometimes do stupid things. I’m not stupid anymore.”

* * *

She was still so angry at him. He deserved it, of course. He’d deserve her anger for the rest of his life. But holding on to this anger was destroying her. How could she ever live her life and let someone in to love her if she was so angry?

And the thought of another man loving her was something that had Ethan’s stomach burning with envy. In his mind Maddie had always been Denny’s little sister. But not anymore. Maddie was a beautiful woman with a lot of love inside her and right now that love was being swallowed up by grief she couldn’t let go of. He’d already spent far too much time over the last few days thinking about how beautiful a woman Maddie was.

“No, you’re not. Not about that,” he admitted.

She lifted an eyebrow in challenge.

“Why aren’t you with someone?” he asked, not really wanting to know details of a love life she may have had in the years he’d been away. But his curiosity was too strong to hold back.

“What?”

“A guy. I have been home for a year and I’ve never once seen you with another man. Not around town. Not anywhere. I’ve never even heard of you dating anyone.”

“That’s my business and my choice.”

“I don’t buy that.”

“Who cares?”

He sighed heavy and tossed a piece of tailpipe into the cardboard box, making a loud clank. “Aren’t you tired yet?”

“Of what?”

“Of this hatred for me that you carry around with you. Your back is breaking from it.”

Her back straightened as if to prove him wrong. “I beg your pardon? You’re a fine one for talking to me about—”

“You play a good game. You pretend that you have it all together and that you’re living your life. You tell me you’re happy that your parents have started living again. When’s your turn? You used to be artistic.”

“So?”

“Nice answer,” he said, shaking his head.

“What do you want from me?”

“Help me fix this bike up. Help me put it together and make it what Denny wanted.”

“You’re nuts.”

“I thought we’d established that a long time ago.”

She smiled despite not wanting to. And Ethan could tell she was fighting hard not to enjoy the little banter back and forth. If she really hated him, really hated being with him, she would never have come out to the garage. And for sure, she wouldn’t still be standing here.

“I can’t believe you’re even asking me to do something like this.”

He picked up a folder tucked in one of the boxes with the pieces of metal motorcycle parts. He opened up the folder and pulled out a few sketches and thrust a few of them at her. “You did these.”

“It was Denny’s work.”

He pulled the rough sketches apart and quickly looked at them, handing one back to her. “This one is Denny’s. He was always good at drawing, but certainly no artist. That was your specialty. This one is definitely yours.” He handed her the detailed picture of what the finished motorcycle would look like.

Maddie looked at the picture and he saw her shoulders sag.

“I don’t need to be an expert in art to know that these drawings were done by two different people. And I’d seen enough of your work to know you had a real talent. Denny always said so.”

Her head snapped up. “When did you ever see my work?”

“Denny showed me. He was real proud of what you could do. Envious even. He told me no one could touch what you did.”

Tears filled her eyes. “He said that?”

Ethan nodded.

She cleared her throat, Maddie handed the sketch back to him. “Things change.”

“Yeah, they do. But not everything has to.”

“I didn’t realize he showed you my work. I thought…”

“You didn’t end up going to school for art either. Don’t bother denying it. My dad told me you went for business and that’s why he hired you. You’re good at what you do. He really likes you. But that’s not your passion. You gave that up.”

She cleared her throat. “I can’t do it, Ethan.”

“Denny wanted to build the bike. He wanted you to do this artwork on it. I can get this bike together somehow. I know I can.” He handed her the sketch she’d made of the final bike again. “But I can’t do that. Only you can. And when it’s done we can take it to Sturgis and show it off, just like Denny dreamed of doing himself.”

Tears filled Maddie’s eyes as she looked at the sketch, and then back at him. She looked at him for a long time. “Denny is gone. No good deed is going to change the past.”

She dropped the sketch on the ground and walked out of the garage.

* * *

He’d spent three of his days off working on the motorcycle, trying to piece together metal pieces and decide whether a carburetor was worth using or tossing for a new one. Maddie hadn’t been out to her parents’ house since that Sunday he’d asked her to help him build the bike. Ethan wanted the motorcycle to be as authentic to what Denny had visualized, using the parts he’d hand-picked. But he was short more than a few major items.

The frame was good. Whatever was missing from the boxes could be found at the local junk yard or ordered at the auto center. Unlike when they were younger and couldn’t afford anything, they had to make do with what funds they had. But Ethan had what he needed to do it right. When it had become clear that Maddie didn’t want to help him work on the motorcycle, Ethan moved all the boxes to the garage at his parent’s house. He could work on the bike at all hours of the day if he wanted to there.

“You’ve got a lot of work ahead of you,” Logan said, walking into the garage one evening. In his hand was the impact wrench Ethan had asked his brother to bring over.

He chuckled at the look his twin brother gave him. “You can say that again.”

“Need any help?”

“Yeah, but she’s not willing.”

The one thing about growing up in a close family was that you didn’t have to do a whole lot of explaining about the meaning of your words.

“Everyone grieves different, Ethan. You were still stationed overseas when Kelly died. But when she did, I wanted to shut myself in the barn and never come out. If I hadn’t had Keith and the farm to think about, I’d probably still be in there. And even then it took Poppy coming back into my life to make me feel alive again.”

Ethan had seen just how much of a wreck Logan had been when Ethan finally came home. He’d never seen his brother in such rough shape. He’d worked hard to re-establish their relationship while forging a bond with the nearly five year old nephew Ethan had just met. Now, little Keith and Uncle Ethan were buds.

Logan glanced up at the ceiling. The room above the garage was a small apartment that used to belong to their brother, Wade. “When we heard the news about Wade, I didn’t think Mom would ever get out of bed again. But then she found out about Keith and when he was born it was like Mom was reborn too. Maddie just needs to find that thing that helps her feel reborn.”