Wild Heart- Extended Edition (The Wild Heart Series) (19 page)

“I know, Knox. That’s all I want.” She placed a light kiss against his lips as he stood, placing her down onto the floor.

“Sometimes it’s gonna be hard, it’s gonna get scary at times; but I promise to always tell you the truth about what you want to know. But I can’t leave out pieces of myself to make you comfortable, I cannot be afraid of my truth. I need to know that you are in this with me; that no matter what, you will be by my side in the end.”

She wasn’t sure what parts of that truth she wanted to know just yet. She’d have to take that one step at a time, “I promise to always be understanding. I promise I will never leave again.”

“That’s all I want.” His lips found hers once more as he stared down at her with his steel gray eyes. “Never thought I’d love someone. Didn’t think I could, baby.”

“I know, Knox.” She leaned up to him and rested her lips against his. No matter what happened, through thick and thin, her loyalty would always be with Knox.

She made her way to the bathroom to freshen up before they headed downstairs to the party.

He grabbed her hand, twisting it up toward his mouth and planting a gentle kiss against the back, as they made it to the bottom of the stairs. As they reached the bottom stair he pulled her under his arm and they walked toward the music and chatter in the next room over. She smiled brightly as they made it into the common room and it erupted in shouts. She rolled her eyes as the blush spread across her face.

“Bout damn time!” Rage shouted from where he sat at the bar next to Kate, “He’s been moping around like a bloody woman for the past two weeks.”

“I will dump your lifeless body in a back alley if you keep talking that shite,” Knox eyed over at him sarcastically.

“I’m glad you’re here,” Kate smiled as she engulfed Ani in a tight hug, “It hasn’t been the same without my best friend.”

“Yeah, sorry I shut you out. It was a lot to deal with,” Ani gave her an apologetic smile.

“I knew why you needed to, it’s ok. How are you though?”

“I’m good. Earlier tonight sucked, but it’s done.”

“I guess he didn’t take it very well?” Kate asked; she’d known Ani was going to see Cash before she came here.

“He took it better than I thought he would, which seems to make it even worse.”

Ani knocked at Cash’s front door, hoping and praying that he hadn’t already started fixing a four course meal. When he opened the door she could see that something was off. His face was sullen as he let her into the house, closing the door behind her and heading to the kitchen. She looked around when she walked in, no food on the stove or on the table and she let out a sigh of relief. That was until she saw the half empty bottle of bourbon and the dripping shot glass on the table. She was timid as she sat across from him, unsure of the words to ease the pain flowing through his heart.

“Cash…” He held his hand up to stop her. He knew where she was going with this conversation and maybe to ease the crevice forming inside of him, he was making his effort to prolong the whole thing.

Silence settled in the room until the sloshing of the liquor bottle being poured cut through it, clinking when he set it back down on the table. His eyes were swollen and worried as he turned the shot back and swallowed it whole. Seeing him like this broke Ani’s heart, she had caused this pain in him. She had tried so hard not to, but her actions had led him on. She’d been so unsure of herself and her future that she portrayed it toward him in a different light.

“I know what you came here to say tonight, Ani,” his voice slurred as he spoke, “I see the way you look at him. I get it.”

“Cash, I don’t think you will ever know the ghosts from our relationship that I’ve never been able to overcome. I’ve tried, so many times, but it never works.”

“Bullshit, Ani, you haven’t tried. Not one time have you tried to make things right between us since you got home. You tell me one thing, leave me hanging on to the end of your rope, and then you saddle up on the back of his bike.” He looked up at her, anger and hurt swirled throughout his eyes.

“Cash, please don’t go down that road. Please don’t push me away.”

“I have to. How can I sit here and be ok with the woman I love fucking some white trash biker?” his words were wounding as he threw them at her from across the table.

“You think you can just say something awful to me because it’s your right, Cash? It’s not! You have no right to judge me, or Knox for that matter. You have no idea what I’ve been through and what has led me to this point, because you gave up on us.” Her eyes burned at the tears that were beginning to form. She took a deep steadying breath, trying to calm herself down before continuing, “You have always meant the world to me, more than anyone, but we’ve grown up and the things we used to want aren’t the same anymore. I still love you, Cash. I always will. I just need you as a friend right now.”

“Don’t fuck with my feelings just because you’re unsure of your own, Ani.”

“I’m not, Cash. I promise. I don’t want you to disappear from my life, but you have to give me the space to live it.”

“I know.” The anger that he’d held was now gone, replaced by a total lack of emotion.

Ani sat across from him, staring at the void that she’d ripped in his chest. It would take time to fix his broken heart and she knew she needed to give him that. She stood slowly, staring down at him from the edge of the table before quietly walking toward him and planting a soft kiss against his temple. She turned to leave as his voice stopped her in her tracks.

“If you must know, sweetheart, your love was the best part of my life.”

She looked back at him, the tear rolling down his cheek wrenching her stomach with pain. “You never lost it, Cash. It will always be there.” With that, she left, walking out into the night air that now seemed colder than it ever had.

“Well, just give him some time. I’m sure he’ll accept it sooner or later,” Kate rubbed her hand on Ani’s arm trying to console her.

“I need a shot,” Ani laughed, choking back the tears that threatened to fall once more.

“Now you’re talking my language!” Kate beamed as she pulled Ani toward the bar.

The music grew louder as a handful of other people came into the room from outside. She saw the flash of Chloe’s blonde hair come in behind Butcher; along with a few people she hadn’t met before. All of the men dressed in the same leather cut as the others. Ani eyed Chloe as she walked toward where Knox stood with Repo and Rage.

“She’s been snaking her nasty self around here for the past two weeks,” Kate said sliding a beer and a shot across the table at Ani.

Something about that girl and her dirty looks sent a fiery irritation through her. Maybe Chloe hadn’t outright done anything to Ani, but her attitude wasn’t giving her a reason to go make nice with her.

“She wasn’t messing with Knox was she?” Ani turned and asked Kate.

“Not that I know of, but let’s face it; she would handcuff herself to his arm and swallow the key if she could. I can’t stand her.” Kate glared across the room openly.

“Welcome back,” Starla came up and took the stool next to Ani.

“Thanks, Starla.” Ani smiled over at her, the puzzle pieces were all starting to form together again. It had been shaken up, broken apart after the attack, but the people surrounding her now were slowly putting it all back together.

“I’m glad you and Knox were able to work things out. It hasn’t seemed like much fun without you,” Starla patted her hand.

“You saying I’m not fun?” Kate protested?

“You know what I mean,” Starla laughed as she rolled her eyes.

“Can I ask you something?” Ani turned to Starla.

“Sure, Toots, what’s eating at that pretty brain of yours?”

“The night at the club,” Ani could see Starla’s face drop at the mention of the nightclub. “Does that happen often?”

“There are some things you need to know if you’re gonna be an old lady,” she looked across to Kate also, “Both of you. These guys eat, sweat, and breath this M.C.; always will. It was pretty rough over in Ireland. Between the rival clubs and the citizens revolting against the government it seemed like we were caught in the middle of a shit storm,” she let out a deep sigh, shooting a shot of liquor as she continued, “One of the main reasons we jumped at the opportunity to come here was because we hoped we could get away from that shit.”

“So is there still a charter in Ireland?” Kate asked, intrigued by the story.

“Yeah, Knox’s dad and a group of his close friends started the M.C. years ago. In the beginning it was just a hobby, but with the turn against the government in Ireland and radical anarchist forming groups, the club got into some pretty tough shit.”

“What kind of
tough shit?
” Ani’s voice broke as she asked. She still wasn’t sure what details she wanted to know.

“That’s for you and Knox to talk about, love. But there will always be close calls, rival gangs, turf wars, retaliation. It’s part of the life. Do you need to worry about someone pulling a gun on you all the time? No. But if you and Knox get serious, you’re gonna have to stand behind your man. Because behind every biker is a solid old lady, if she falters; he falters. And if he falters, he goes six feet under,” Starla smiled, hoping to have reassured her before heading back over to where Jameson played pool.

Ani sat, taking her words to heart. If she was going to be by Knox’s side, she was going to have to accept what came with the life. No judgment, no bitching. She could only stand by her man and hope that his strength was enough for the both of them. She stood and made her way to the stairs when a hand caught her arm, stopping her before she went up.

“Listen, I know we don’t know each other, but I felt like you should know that you need to keep your old man on a leash,” Chloe cocked her head to the side as she placed her hand on her hip.

“Excuse me?” Ani tried to hide the irritation in her voice. How dare this girl say anything to her about Knox? She was already walking a fine line with the nasty looks she’d been giving Ani from the time she walked in the door the first night they had met. Ani knew that she wasn’t better than anyone, but she knew that Chloe needed to show her a little more respect, Ani wasn’t just some club lay, she was Knox’s old lady. She wasn’t quite sure why, but it meant something around here, around this club.

“Just don’t think you’re really capable of holding down a man like Knox, and now that your back I don’t want him knocking on my door anymore.” Chloe spun, her long blonde hair whipping around behind her.

Ani could only see red.
Red
. The audacity of this bitch drove her over the edge. What Knox had done while she was gone was his own business, but she would make damn sure that she claimed her territory tonight.

She could feel the surge of whiskey as Kate came to her side. She didn’t hear a word from Kate’s mouth as she took off in the direction Chloe had just left. She stormed out into the common room, eyeing her target. A few stares locked onto Ani as she grabbed a handful of Chloe’s long hair and snatched her backward onto the floor. Chloe’s fist landed hard against Ani’s face first as she went down, fueling the hate that Ani had for her.

She could feel someone trying to pull her off of Chloe as she wailed her fist down onto the girl’s face. She could feel the sharp pains from Chloe’s nails as they drug down her arms and across her chest trying to get Ani to stop.

“Ani! Stop!” She could hear Knox’s voice from behind her and she continued her assault anyway.

She felt his arms wrap around her waist and lift her off of Chloe, red, she could only see red. Her breath was on fire as he pulled her from the room, shouting vagrant obscenities toward Chloe who was now attempting to come after her as Butcher held her back.

“This shit isn’t over, bitch!” Chloe screamed from across the room.

“You want your ass whipped again, come see me,” Ani challenged, throwing her arms up in the air as if Chloe’s threats meant nothing.

It wasn’t until Knox had carried her up the stairs that she was able to actually breathe. She saw Kate and Starla peek their heads around the corner of the hallway, beaming smiles crossing both of their faces as Knox hauled her into the room and dropped her down onto the bed, kneeling in front of her.

“What the hell am I going to do with you, woman?” He brushed the hairs from her face, checking to see if she had any cuts on her face.

“She started it,” Ani stated bluntly, crossing her arms.
Real mature, Ani.

She winced as he pulled the shirt from her arms. Cat like scratched ran down the length of her upper arm, puckered and swollen. He gently wiped the blood from one of the scratches as he let out a deep breath, “What did she say to you?”

“Oh, just to keep you from knocking on her door anymore.”

“Ani, I…” Ani stopped him. She didn’t want to know what she already did.

“I don’t care what you did when I was gone. Honestly, from the bottom of my heart I don’t give a fuck. However, you will never touch another pussy as long as I am in the picture. You got it?” she glared up at him.

His face was blank and she was beginning to think that her sudden surge of bravery may have offended him; until a slight smile pulled up the corner of his mouth.

“I got you.” He set the towel down on the floor as he climbed on top of her and on the bed.

“So, does this mean I’m officially, no getting out of it, forever, your old lady?” Ani grimaced as she said the words.

“Aye, baby, it does; and I’m about to show you just how good it is to be my old lady.” His warm lips pressed against her collar bone trailing up to her neck as he dug his erection against her. “You know how sexy it is to see you fight for your man?”

“How sexy is it?”

“Very sexy.” He started to take off his leather cut and she stopped him, grinning up at him devilishly.

“Leave on your cut,” her words were deep and husky as she wrapped her legs around his waist.