Wild Ice (19 page)

For so long,
JD had sat and wondered who he was and how he could go on when there wasn’t anything left inside of him to give. Turns out, he was a great many things. First and foremost he was a flesh and blood man with feelings, emotions, fears and passions. Although it took him a while, he’d learned to accept that. He was also a hockey player and an avid runner. And lastly, he was a man who had been given a second chance to love and a second chance at life.

There was no sense in fighting it. The only person he was punishing was himself and he was damned tired of playing martyr.
Today, he decided he was ready to move forward. With everything. With his life
and
with hockey. He’d taken more than enough time to lick his wounds and lay low and now he was ready to move on.

Move on.

JD knew the words well. Now it was just time to put them in motion.

Chapter Nineteen

Wings

Today, JD would skate.

As much as he wanted to tell Lauren, JD kept
the news to himself. If his time at the rink went well then he’d let her in on it. Sure, he’d kept in shape all this time, but he hadn’t stepped foot on the ice for over a year. This whole idea could turn out to be a complete disaster and he could land flat on his ass. It was best to keep it to himself for now.

On the way to the rink, w
hen JD pulled out onto the main road, he saw Lauren pulling a trash can down her long driveway. Tomorrow was trash day. The can’s wheels weren’t cooperating on the gravel and she desperately tried to wrangle it into submission.

JD threw the SUV into park, hopped
out, took the garbage can from her, and easily pulled it over to its spot by the mailbox.

“Thank you,” she said.
“And good morning.”

“
Mornin’.”

Lauren put her hand on her hip.
There was something different about JD today. His step was particularly springy and he looked like a little kid on Christmas morning right before he went downstairs to see what Santa left under the tree. There was definitely a joy in his eyes that she’d never seen before.

She eyed him carefully
, trying to figure out what he was hiding. “So, what are you up to this morning?” she asked coyly.

“I, uh…” Ah, hell. “
I’m going to skate today.” So much for keeping it to himself.

“Oh
JD, that’s fantastic!” Lauren threw herself into his arms and squeezed tight.

He pulled back, determined to stay nonchalant
about it. “I haven’t been on the ice in…well, it’s been way too long.”

“It’s probably just like riding a bike,” she reassured him
and took a step back.

“I’m just going to see if I can keep my legs under me.”

She nodded. “A trial run.”

“Yeah
, a trial run. No biggie.”

She nodded again even though she knew that wasn’t true. This
was
big. This was
huge
.

“I wasn’t going to tell anyone…”

“Oh, no, I get it.” She crossed her finger over her heart. “I promise I won’t spoil the secret.”

She didn’t want to make him nervous and overthink
his decision so she just wished him luck and waved to him as he pulled away.

When his SUV was out of sight, she squealed and jumped up and down with glee.

* * *

Over the phone, JD had scheduled practice time at Valley IcePlex. He didn’t go to the Razors’ practice rink because there would be too many raised eyebrows and too many questions he didn’t have answers to. And he didn’t tell anyone besides Lauren. Once the word got out, the whole town would know. All it would take was one person to see him on the ice to send the hockey community into a frenzy. He wasn’t ready to make a big public deal about it. Not yet anyway.

All morning he’d fretted over
skating again. Would he remember what to do? He wasn’t sure how it would feel to be back on the ice. Odd, strange, uncomfortable? If anything, it felt like he was returning home after being away for much too long.

This was no biggie, he reminded himself. He’d skate a couple of laps, shoot a couple pucks and get his legs under him. He’d see how it felt and then go from there.

Feeling a little ridiculous, he pulled the baseball cap down low over his eyes and strode into VIP with his gear. To his relief, the kid working behind the counter didn’t recognize him and he was glad Freddy, the owner, was nowhere in sight.

When
JD stepped through to the rink, familiar sounds and smells of the building surrounded him. This was what he’d been searching for all this time. This was home. It wasn’t a house out in the middle of nowhere or an isolated existence. It was this. The ice was his home.

Blood, sweat and tears.
Hockey had taken them all. He’d broken bones and even lost teeth. But the sport had also given back tenfold. Hockey had given him happiness, a purpose, and financial security. Hockey was like a long-lost love who welcomed him home with open arms. This was where he was meant to be. This was his calling. This was the answer.

Lauren’s words echoed in
JD’s head.
Just lace up your skates and go
. Simple as that.

So
that’s what he did.

The minute he stepped on
to the ice everything came back in a rush and he knew this was where he belonged. There was no emptiness, no doubt, no second thoughts. Excitement bloomed in his chest and filled him with joy.

Being on the ice was
pure bliss. The smell of the ice, the sound of skate blades cutting through it, the echo in the building when his stick hit the puck...

A grin tugged at the corners of his mouth. He couldn’t hold back
his excitement. It propelled him across the ice and he reveled in the feeling.

He took a few shots
at the net and didn’t even have to think about it. All he did was enjoy the fluid movement of hitting the puck and let instinct do the rest. Man, he’d missed this. Why hadn’t he allowed himself to come back before now? He loved this game. Being a hockey player was in his blood and he didn’t know how he survived so long without it. It was all he ever wanted to do. All he ever knew how to do. Life without hockey wasn’t a life at all. But a mere existence, a poor excuse for a life.

Lauren was right. It was just like riding a bike.

“You’re lookin’ rusty, Hollywood.”

The voice
startled him and brought him out of his reverie. JD looked over and saw a young woman take a seat on the bench and pull her knees up to her chest. She looked all of fifteen with her long ponytail and fresh face, but JD knew she was in college.

He wasn’t too surprised to see her here. Come to think of it, JD had
never
not
seen Quinn Legace near an ice rink. She was named after her late father, Quinn Legace, or The Big Q, as the hockey world referred to him as. He was a legend in the sport, right up there with Gretzky and Lemieux. His daughter’s knowledge of hockey wasn’t too shabby either and JD valued her opinion. Quinn had inherited her dad’s passion for hockey as well as his skill. Even though she was a girl, she could easily skate circles around most men on the ice. With her father being who he was, she was practically born on the ice.

JD didn’t know her
father; he’d died when JD was just entering the UNHL. But everyone knew
of
him and everyone knew his daughter. She was a staple at every hockey game, like nachos and bad calls from the refs. She was at every practice and every scrimmage and JD had crossed paths with her at more than one charity event. Everyone respected her father and that respect was passed down to Quinn. She earned that respect with her knowledge and passion for the game. Even though her father passed away when she was just a little girl, Quinn had managed to continue on and keep his legacy alive. It was a lot more than JD could say for himself.

Quinn
got up from her perch on the bench and skated onto the ice, stick in hand. The air about her was cool and confident. Chomping on a wad of gum, she casually shot the pucks JD had hit back toward him. “Lambert and McQuaid were in here yesterday,” she said with a jut of her chin.

JD
just nodded in acknowledgement and shot another puck at the net. His former Razors teammates would occasionally use the ice at VIP for a change of scenery.

Quinn stood off to the side to watch and JD could feel her eyes scrutinizing his every move.

“The team looked a lot different this season without Price and Devereaux.”

“Yeah,
” JD agreed and wristed a puck between the pipes. “The Razors lost some serious talent when they traded those two.”

“
Sometimes I wish there were no trades or free agency so everyone could just stay on the same teams,” she said wistfully.

“Yeah, but that’s just part of the game.”

She shrugged and shoved back strands of hair that had fallen from her ponytail. “Yeah, I guess.”

JD sucked in a deep breath and took a shot at the net. The puck bounced off the post with an audible
ping
.

She passed him another puck and a
fter a minute of silence, she pointed out, “There was a big hole in defense last season.”

No doubt because of his absence from the team.

“Yeah,” he sighed.

“They’d take you back in a heartbeat
, Hollywood.”

“Oh yeah?”

She shrugged again. “That is, if you were interested.”

This time it was his turn to shrug.
“Maybe.”

“My dad used to tell me about how hockey was therapy. If something was bothering him, he’d go down to the ice, shoot a few pucks and the problem would work itself out.”

JD’s throat tightened up and he shot another puck to ward off the emotions.

“Even when you turn your back on it, it’ll be there when you turn back around.”

JD cleared his throat and looked her in the eye. The universe sure was sending a lot of brilliant women his way.

She searched his eyes and chewed her gum.
“You keep your head up, Mason.”

Even though it was a hockey term, JD couldn’t help but wonder if she said it with another meaning in mind.

With that final remark, Quinn Legace skated off the ice and went back inside.

* * *

Lauren picked through the brush on her way to the
weaver nest with renewed excitement. She was ecstatic for JD. It was a scary decision to shake off the past and take that first step forward into the future. Deep in her heart, she knew he needed to be on the ice. Just like she knew she was meant to surround herself with birds and fresh air.

She hadn’t talked to him since yesterday morning. As much as she wanted to know how things went
at the rink, she didn’t want to push him for information. Whether it had been a good experience or not, he would tell her about it when he was ready.

It was early morning
and Lauren wanted to get her walk in before it got too hot. It must’ve been early because Mel wasn’t even up yet. She liked having the dog by her side, but it was nice having the trail to herself.

When she reached
the area of the nest, the first thing Lauren noticed was how quiet it was. Too quiet. When she didn’t hear the chicks chirping, a bad feeling enveloped her. Something didn’t feel right. Her birder instincts were honed after so many years in the field that she knew to trust her gut. It was much too quiet and much too still. Something was wrong.

Slowly, she raised the binoculars to her face and had a look. The nest was empty.
That was definitely wrong. The chicks wouldn’t be old enough to leave the nest for another two weeks. And not only was it empty, but the nest hung cockeyed on the branch, teetering as if a strong breeze might dislodge it altogether and send it falling to the ground.

Feathers lay
scattered on the ground and Lauren breathed a shaky sigh. Poor defenseless chicks depended solely on their parents for food and protection. The weavers must have put up quite a fight while trying to protect their brood. But they were no match for a hungry and determined hawk. Lauren imagined the gruesome scene and the tears came hot and plump. She swallowed hard, but it wasn’t enough to hold back the tears.

“Stupid hawk!”
she screamed. But she loved hawks. They were beautiful, intense birds. It didn’t seem so awful when she watched one scoop up a mouse in a field. They fed on rodents, small animals and other birds. She knew this. But it didn’t make the weaver chicks’ demise any easier to swallow.

Fat tears welled up and slithered down her cheeks.
Her chest heaved and she choked out expletives. Those babies had represented hope and new life, reminding her that each day was a gift full of promise and possibilities. That hope had been ruthlessly snuffed out.

She threw her
floppy hat on the ground and sobbed.

* * *

Lauren
had opened JD’s eyes to nature. He never paid much attention to birds before meeting her. He just wrote them off as annoying creatures that pooped on his car once in a while. But they were much more than that. They were beautiful and even somewhat fascinating. There was a whole community of feathered creatures living and thriving here that he’d never even noticed.

With that in mind, JD led Mel outside.
There was no reason to be shut inside the house on such a beautiful day. The trail would provide some welcome scenery compared to the drab gray walls of the weight room. Between the stationary bike and the treadmill, he had the distinct feeling he wasn’t getting anywhere. Literally and figuratively. He was a little sore from his workout on the ice the day before, but his home gym didn’t hold much appeal today.