Wilde for Her (A Wilde Security Novel) (Entangled Brazen) (15 page)

Chapter Twenty

In the short distance to the door, Eva got three offers for a ride back to the police station from Greer, Reece, and Vaughn, and declined them all. She didn’t want to be around any of Cam’s brothers, and especially didn’t want to be cooped up in a car with them for any length of time, so she walked a couple blocks until she found a taxi. Her phone started buzzing, vibrating against her hip, the moment she slid into the cab’s backseat and told the driver her destination.

What now?

She snapped it up and checked the screen. Preston. Right. She definitely was not in the mood to talk to him…

But instead of hitting ignore, her thumb hovered over the answer button.

A little voice told her she’d regret it. That she was only considering answering his call out of hurt pride and spite.

Fuck it.

She hit answer and pressed the phone to her ear. “Hello.”

Preston’s shock carried over the line in his voice. “Eva! You answered. I mean—how are you?”

Yup, she already regretted it. “What do you want, Preston?”

“Have you given any thought to what we talked about last week?”

“No,” she admitted. “And I don’t think—”

“Please,” he interrupted, a tinge of desperation in his voice. “Just one date. Dinner. That’s all I ask.”

Eva stared out the window at the piles of gray snow lining the road. Cam lied. Preston cheated. What made one any different from the other? They both hurt about the same.

“Eva, are you still there?”

She heaved out a sigh. “Okay. One date.”

…

Cam dropped into a chair after Miguel left with his statement, pressed his fingers into his eyelids to push back his thundering headache, and cursed himself out in every way he could think of—and a few he made up. He still stood behind his reasoning for not telling Eva about his suspicions, except maybe he could have gone about the whole thing differently. No idea how, but there must have been a way to keep her out of it without hurting her. He knew she saw him as her rock, something stable to cling to when her life got too hectic and his lie had ruptured that foundation. And, dammit, he knew how she felt about lies. How many times had she told him over the years that she loved his honesty? How much she loved that, no matter what, she could always count on him to tell her the truth?

And the most fucked up thing about that? He’d done nothing but lie to her since day one. Friendship? Hell, he’d never wanted that from her. He loved her and had kept his lips sealed, never once opening up and telling her the truth about his feelings.

Like she’d said, lying by omission was still lying.

She was
never
going to forgive him.

He felt three huge bodies crowd around him and groaned without opening his eyes. His brothers saw him the same way as Eva had. He was always the steady one, the reliable one. And, honestly, he was fucking sick of being everyone’s support system. What did
he
have to hold onto?

“So…” Reece said, drawing the word out.

Greer wasn’t as patient. “Wanna explain to us what the fuck you were thinking, Camden? You told me this wasn’t a big deal, and I believed you.”

Vaughn smacked him upside the head. “
That
was for lying to us.” Another smack. “And that’s for lying to Eva.”

Cam shot to his feet and pushed through the barricade his brothers made before his twin decided to smack him again. “I fucked up, all right?”

“I’ll say.” Reece, the outwardly calmest of the three, crossed his arms in front of him and perched on the edge of Greer’s desk. A stack of papers fell to the floor. He raised an eyebrow at the mess and then spared his oldest brother a disgusted glance. “We need to hire you a secretary.” Then he returned his attention to Cam. “And we need to figure out this problem of yours before anyone else ends up dead.”

“I have it handled, guys.”

“You’re not handling it alone,” Greer said through his teeth. “I already told you, that’s not how this family works.”

“Yeah, and you’re not Dad.” As soon as the words left Cam’s mouth, he wanted to take them back. After their parents died, Greer had filed for emancipation, worked his ass off to finish school early, and got a fulltime job, then did his best to cobble together a semblance of the family they had lost. On his seventeenth birthday, he’d joined the military solely so he could better support them. He’d taken on more responsibility than any teenager should ever have to and it wasn’t fair of Cam to condemn him for it now.

Greer remained as stoic as ever, but the words must have been like a physical blow. Cam opened his mouth to apologize, but what could he really say? The damage had been done and
I’m sorry
wasn’t going to fix it.

“Tell us everything you know about Soup’s death,” Greer said after a long moment. “Do you have any suspects?”

He nodded. Soup and the hit contract were so much easier than the minefield he’d stepped into with his heartless remark. “I went through some of my old cases, focusing on the recent parolees that had threatened me in the past, and came up with three names—Arnold Mabry, Tom Lindquist, Gordon Dunphy. I’ve already eliminated Mabry. He didn’t even remember me, and I never considered him a real suspect anyway. His was a crime of passion, and he was drunk when he made those threats against me.”

“And the other two?” Reece asked.

“I haven’t had any luck finding Lindquist. He’s skipped out on his parole officer and there’s a warrant for his arrest.”

Everyone looked at Vaughn in silent question.

“Yeah,” Vaughn said, “I’m on Lindquist.”

Cam’s stomach twisted and he faced his twin. “You should sit this one out, bro. It’s too—”

“If you say ‘dangerous,’ I am going to hit you again. And this time, it won’t be a love tap.”

Fuck, he hated this. If something happened to Vaughn or any of his brothers because of this case…

Unable to stay still, he paced across the office. “I need some air.”

Greer stepped in front of the door, blocking his exit. “We’re not done. Tell us about Dunphy.”

“There’s nothing to tell. I haven’t looked into him yet. I had a restraining order against him for a while after he attacked me in a bar, but it’s not active anymore. And, honestly, he doesn’t have any reason to come after me now. I have no influence over his brother’s case.”

Greer nodded once. “I’ll take a look at him. Reece, dig into Cam’s old cases and see if you can’t find us more suspects. We’re gonna turn over every rock and see what comes scampering out.”

…

The air hit Cam like an icy hammer to the face when he stepped outside, and he gratefully sucked it down until his lungs burned from the cold. Something damn near panic had sunk its claws into his heart, and he hadn’t been able to draw a full breath inside the office.

He had to fix this. Throw himself into the investigation and figure out who was behind the contract before his brothers had time to get in too deep. Whoever it was hadn’t had a problem killing Soup, so that person would also have no qualms about offing a handful of private investigators for asking the wrong questions in the wrong places.

He couldn’t let that happen.

But first, he had to find Eva. Explain himself. Beg forgiveness. Then ask her not to pursue Soup’s information because the thought of her getting caught in the crossfire just about crippled him.

And it was time to come clean about more than this case. All these years, he’d kept his relationships few and far between—just enough to take the edge off because his heart had never been into any of those women. His heart belonged to Eva and, fuck it, he wanted her too badly not to give this thing between them a shot. So he couldn’t give her exactly what she wanted. Maybe his love would be enough. At least, he hoped it’d be enough. And if it wasn’t—well, maybe he could try to do things her way. Marriage, two-point-five kids, a dog, a minivan, and a motherfucking white picket fence. Either way, he couldn’t let his personal demons paralyze him into inaction anymore.

If he did, he got the sickening feeling he’d lose her forever.

…

The restaurant wasn’t anything Eva would have picked for dinner, casual but with a faint enough whiff of upscale that she wasn’t one-hundred percent comfortable. Preston was all smiles as he pulled out her chair for her and settled across the table. He’d ordered them red wine, which she hated. She took a sip anyway because she thought a splash of alcohol would do her good.

Then again, alcohol is what got her into this mess in the first place.

She nudged the wine glass away precisely because the temptation to get drunk was so great. Like mother, like daughter.

“I’m so glad you agreed to meet me,” Preston said, shaking out his napkin.

God, this was a mistake. She pushed away from the table. “I shouldn’t have.”

“No. Eva, wait.” He scrambled around the table and caught her hand. “Please, hear me out. Garth Brooks will come on the radio, and I’ll remember that town in West Virginia, the one we got stranded in when my car overheated? Remember you played darts at the dive bar with all those bikers? You impressed the heck out of me that night.”

She smiled, relaxing a little at the memory. It had been a fun trip, one of the best she’d ever taken with him. “They loved us until they found out I’m a cop.”

He released a breath as if relieved that she remembered. “And I can’t even watch a Nationals game anymore because you’re not sitting beside me making inappropriate comments about the opposing team. I miss us. I miss what we had.”

She pulled her hand from his grasp. “How can you say that? You cheated on me. After I specifically told you when we first started dating that cheating is a stupid, high-schooler thing to do, and if you ever found someone you’d rather be with than me, you should just tell me.”

“Yes,” he admitted.

“But instead of telling me you wanted someone else—”

“I don’t. Will you let me explain?”

She refused to answer. She didn’t want an explanation. She wanted to get the hell out of here.

Taking her silence as a go ahead, he continued, “There’s this permeating idea that a man can’t get anywhere in the modern political climate without the right kind of wife backing him and—this is no excuse, but you don’t fit that mold. Lark does, and I’m ashamed to say, I gave in to the pressure. I made a horrible mistake, Eva. I hope you can forgive me, and maybe, if I haven’t screwed things up too badly, you can give us another chance?” He dropped to one knee in front of her, and her heart dropped right along with him.

Oh no. What the fuck did he think he was doing?

She grabbed his arms, urging him to stand. “Preston, no. Don’t.”

Ignoring her, he produced a little black box and opened it. A large marquise diamond sparked in the soft restaurant lighting, faintly blue against the white satin lining. “Please.”

At her back, an excited murmur rippled through the other diners, and heat rose into her face. For a solid minute, she couldn’t come up with a thing to say in response. “Preston—”

“You don’t have to answer now,” he added in a rush. He stood and closed the box, pressing it into her hand. “I know this is a lot to take in. I had planned to wait, but I have to let you know how serious I am this time.”

Panic skated down the back of her neck. “What about Lark?”

“I broke it off with her right after we got back from Key West. I regret hurting her, but she’s the woman everyone thought I should marry, not the one I wanted, and I’m done listening to everyone. I want
you,
nobody else.”

Not that long ago, it would have been so easy to say yes, to throw herself into his arms and sink back into the comfort of a relationship with him. Now there were too many variables. Would she ever be able to completely trust him again? And what about Cam? Going back to Preston would mean the end of their friends with benefits relationship. Would they be able to go back to a plain old friendship? Or, oh God, would she lose him completely?

Pain bloomed in the center of her chest at the thought of losing Cam, and yet she could not tell Preston no. She tried. The word was on her tongue, but wouldn’t leave her lips.

Two years. She’d spent two years of her life with this man. Five if she counted the years he’d spent pursuing her before they officially started dating. That had to mean something. At the very least, he deserved more consideration from her than a flat-out rejection.

Everyone made mistakes, right?

Even Cam was not immune to them. He’d proved that today by lying to her.

“I’ll think about it,” she said.

Preston pulled her into his arms, and a round of scattered applause came from the other restaurant patrons. No doubt, they all thought she said yes. She stared down at the box in her hand.

Maybe she should have.

Chapter Twenty-one

“I figured I’d find you here.”

Eva flinched at the sound of Cam’s voice. She’d come to Maguire’s because work was out of the question after making a fool out of herself in front of Miguel this afternoon, and home didn’t seem like a good idea either. Maguire’s dark interior, smelling of beer, fried food, and decades of cigarette smoke, was comforting, a security blanket masquerading as a cop bar. But she should have guessed Cam would come looking for her here.

He settled at the bar beside her and flagged the bartender, who acknowledged him with a smile and short wave before pouring a pint of Guinness and bringing it over. He waited until the bartender left to tend other patrons before spinning on his stool and facing her.

“Listen, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have lied, and you have every reason to hate me.”

She heaved out a sigh. “I don’t hate you, Cam.” She didn’t think it would be possible to hate the man.

“You have every right to be pissed as hell,” he said.

“And I am. Absolutely. But,” she added, even though she didn’t want to make the admission, “I know you and I get your reasoning.” She aimed a scowl at him. “It still really fucking hurts you lied to me. I thought you were the one person I could trust without a doubt and then you went and pulled this shit.”

He spread his hands in a gesture of supplication. “I’m an idiot.”

“I’ve been hearing that a lot lately.”

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw his brows draw together. Then he noticed the ring box sitting on the bar in front of her. He nudged it. “What’s that?”

“A ring.”

Setting down his beer, he scooped up the box and opened it before she could stop him. His jaw tightened. “Preston gave you this?”

“Earlier tonight,” she said as a flush worked into her cheeks. She didn’t know what she had to be ashamed about, but there it was. “I went to dinner with him.”

The blue of Cam’s eyes darkened to a turbulent gray. “Why?”

“Why not?”

He growled at her non-answer. “Are you seriously accepting this?”

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know? How can you even consider it after what he did to you?”

Wincing because he had a point, she struggled to find the words to make him understand. “We were together for years, Cam. It’s hard to throw that much time away.”

“And what about
our
years together?”

She hesitated. “That’s different.”

“Why? Because we weren’t sleeping together?”

“Yes.”

“Well, we are now,” he said and snapped the ring box closed. “So what about us? You’re just going to throw us away?”

Stunned, she gaped at him. “There is no
us
. Not like that, at least. The sex, as amazing as it is between us, was always meant to be just sex, remember? You’re the one that said it’s not a permanent situation.”

He held up the ring box. “But this is?”

“Maybe…?” Groaning, she dropped her head into her arms.

“Does Preston make you happy?” His voice sounded strained, and she lifted her head. Pain—real, stark pain—etched itself into his expression.

“Oh, fuck. I don’t know,” she confessed. “I need you to be my best friend right now, okay? You always give me the best advice.”

“Yeah, well, you want some friendly advice?” He flipped up the top of the box again and shoved it across the bar until it was right under her nose. “If a man really loves you, he’d never buy
this
ring. He’d know it’s too big for your taste. He’d know that you’ll never wear it because it’ll rip right through latex gloves and get caught on everything at work. He’d know you’re not a diamond kind of woman. He’d know your favorite color is red and get you a simple band of white-gold studded with rubies.” He slapped a hand down in front of her and something metal clinked against the bar. He didn’t lift his hand right away, but he didn’t have to. She had a good idea what was under there.

Without another word, Cam grabbed his coat from the back of his seat, stuffed his arms in, and walked away. She watched him go, then stared down at the ring he’d left on the bar next to Preston’s. It was just as he described, a thin white-gold band set with little princess-cut rubies.

Sick to her stomach, she picked up the two rings. Oh, no. He wasn’t going to drop this goddamn grenade in front of her and walk away. She shoved away from the bar and ran out onto the street, the cold air stinging her eyes and lungs. She spotted Cam getting into his 4Runner, parked at the curb several cars down.

“Wilde.” She chased after him and planted herself in front of the SUV, hands on her hips as she squinted at the headlights. The engine revved twice, but she stood her ground. “Vehicular homicide gets you three to fifteen years, buddy.”

He shut off the headlights, leaving her seeing spots. With the engine still rumbling softly, he stood on the runner to glare at her over the top of the door.

“Cardoso,” he said in the same frustrated tone she’d used. “Get outta the way.”

She held up the ring. “What the hell is this?”

“Exactly what it looks like.”

His grim expression took the air out of her lungs like a punch to the sternum. “Cam—” At a loss, she stared at him and struggled to find her voice. “But—but you can’t seriously want to marry me. You’re not the marrying type.”

“No, I’m not, which should tell you everything you need to know about how fucking serious I am.”

“That’s ridiculous.”

“Ridiculous?” He jumped down from the SUV and shut the door with a
bang
that echoed between the buildings lining the street. As snowflakes swirled in the air, he stalked toward her. This wasn’t the easygoing, roll-with-the-punches Cam she was used to. Honestly, the intensity in him right now kind of frightened her, and part of her wanted to run—but, no, she’d done enough running from him.

She braced her shoulders, lifted her chin, and met his predatory gaze with a glare. “Yes. Ridiculous. How long have you had this thing?”

“About two hours.” His arm snaked around her waist and dragged her toward his body. Hot, cinnamon scented breath fanned her cheek as he traced the line of her jaw with his lips.

Her hands flattened against his chest. She should push him away. She absolutely should, but the heat coming off him made her that much more aware of the cold air at her back, and she wanted to burrow into him, luxuriate in his warmth, breathe in the cinnamon and dark spice scent that always shot straight to her libido and was unique to Camden Wilde. His hard lips followed the curve of her ear, brushed over her closed eyes, down her nose. She shuddered, her fingers curling into the front of his coat of their own volition.

He hesitated over her mouth, their breaths mingling into a single cloud. His gaze lifted from its hungry perusal of her lips and met hers. She expected lust, heat, hunger. Instead, his blue eyes were resigned. Maybe even a little sad.

Groaning, he rested his forehead against hers. “I kept thinking if I was patient long enough, you’d see us for what we are.”

Eva pushed against his chest and he released her without protest. Stepping back, she hugged herself to fend off the cold that suddenly pierced her to her core. “What do you think we are?”

“We’re soul mates. The real deal.”

Silence stretched between them as he waited for her to respond. But she couldn’t come up with anything coherent. Cam, her soul mate? Not possible…

Was it?

Cam reached out to tuck a stray strand of hair behind her ear. “The last five years have been a lie. Well, an
omission.
I’m good at those.”

Confusion and horror battled it out inside her chest, neither one gaining ground over the other, and her mind outright refused to comprehend the words coming out of his mouth. She massaged the headache in her temple with a shaking hand. “I don’t understand. Everything we’ve done together…?”

“No, that’s not it. I’ve meant absolutely everything that’s happened between us since day one, but I’ve always wanted more, and I never told you. I want you, Eva. I’ve always wanted you, but I’m done being patient. I’m not your partner. I’m not your fuck buddy. I’m not even your friend.”

She sucked in a stunned breath as horror finally won out and dug icy claws into her heart. “What are you saying?”

“I can’t continue to separate the friend you want me to be from the man who is crazy in love with you.” He squeezed his eyes shut for a long moment, then shook his head and turned away. “So maybe it’s time you find a new best friend.”

…

Vaughn settled onto the stool beside her barely twenty minutes after Cam left her standing on the street with her head reeling. She wasn’t at all surprised to see him. As soon as Cam showed up at home, Vaughn would have felt the need to go all protective “big” brother. Maybe that’s why she’d hung around here. Waiting for him to come flay her alive.

Not that she didn’t already feel like an open, throbbing wound.

“You know,” Vaughn said conversationally, plucking a red straw from the napkin holder on the bar and sticking it between his teeth. “I can make you disappear and nobody will ever find your body.”

She slid him an incredulous sideways glance. Amazing he could look so much like Cam, and yet…not. He always carried himself like he was spoiling for a fight, and the flatness in his blue eyes warned
back off or get hurt
. He was one scary dude. Not someone she’d want to cross paths with while unarmed on a dark street, especially after the sunny statement he just made.

“You know,” she replied in the same conversational tone, “that’s called premeditated murder and carries a twenty-five-to-life sentence.”

He lifted one shoulder, then smiled as the busty bartender set a short glass of rum and Coke in front of him. Either he’d ordered before he sat down or he was as much a regular at Maguire’s as she was. She bet on the former. A cop shop like Maguire’s wasn’t his usual scene.

“I’m not saying I will,” he said after a long, appreciative drink. “But I can. Actually, I should because you’ve done nothing but make my brother miserable since Key West. If I remember correctly, we had a talk about the consequences for that.”

“You mean when you threatened me at the reception.”

“Ah-ah.” He wagged a finger. “I don’t make threats.”

“And what exactly do you call this?”

“I’m giving you an ultimatum.”

She stared. “Ultimatum?” Indignation made her slam her bottle down on the bar with more force than necessary. “What? Stop fucking Cam or else?”

“I don’t care if you fuck him twice a day and three times on Sunday. Good for him if you do.” He tapped his temple. “It’s the mind fucking I don’t like. You need to make a decision. It’s either Cam or that asshole you’re so hung up on. But if you choose Preston, you need to let Cam go. Cut all ties.”

Cut all ties with Cam? Her stomach pitched at the thought. “That’s not fair, Vaughn. You can’t ask me to—”

He faced her, and she gulped back the rest of her protest. His eyes were no longer flat and expressionless, but had ignited into cold fury. “No, I’ll tell you what’s not fair. Cam’s always right there when you need him, even if that means leaving his own brother’s wedding. You tell him to jump, and he’ll reach for the moon. He’s put his whole goddamn life on hold for you. What have you done for him besides give him a few good lays?”

Eva opened her mouth, but found she had no breath to respond. Vaughn finished his drink in a gulp and dug some cash out of the pocket of his jeans. He stood and peeled off a few bills for the bartender’s tip.

“Vaughn.” She grasped his arm. “I’m sorry.”

His lips tightened into a thin line, but he didn’t glance down at her as he extracted himself from her grip. “I’m not the one you should be saying that to.”