Wildfire (6 page)

The silence drew out, hanging heavily in the air between them. And then, from out of the darkness, came two roughly whispered words. "Your soul."

The hair on the back of Rae's neck stood on end, and her heart gave a skittering sideways leap.

And then she realized he was laughing.

She waited, tapping one foot, her arms crossed, her lips tight, while he leaned against the window and laughed.

When he finally straightened again, he wiped his eyes with the backs of his hands and shook his head. "You should have seen your face," he said, his voice unsteady with leftover laughter.

"Very funny."

"Yes, it was. Very funny. You, and half the town along with you, think I'm in league with the Devil." He grinned. "I thought I'd give you a little of what you expected."

Annoying, aggravating, intolerable man. If she had to see him on a regular basis, he would probably drive her crazy. But it was a chance Rae would have to take. She had made a decision, and she wouldn't back down. She was going to go after what she wanted.

"So what's the real reason you're going to help me?" she asked, studying his face.

He had moved to sit on the bed. Now, leaning against the wall, he rested his hands loosely on bent knees and stared straight ahead, his face again in shadows.

"I want Lynda," he said, the words blunt. "And since I can't go after a woman Drew is interested in, this little deal will kill two birds with one stone. You get your hero, and I inherit the blond bombshell."

He laughed. "Talk about an unholy alliance. What we've got here is a symbiotic union of good and evil."

As he turned his head toward her, his lips moved in a strange, twisted smile. "You use me, I use you ... and we both get what we want."

I
t was an ordinary summer Saturday. The sky was bright blue, just as usual. The sun glinted off the water of Lake Ed Briscoe the way it always did in the summer. Ski boats and cabin cruisers sped by, leaving behind big waves that grew smaller and smaller until only a tiny bit of motion remained to touch the shore.

The laws of nature still applied.

On a faded quilt beneath a large pin oak, Rae and Glenna sat cross-legged as they watched the latter's nieces, three-year-old twins, throw sticks and small pebbles into the water. Also a perfectly natural scene.

But in some strange morning-after-the-night-before effect, Rae felt disconnected from the normality all around her. It didn't seem right that the world could still be so sane when Rae herself had gone around the bend.

Swallowing a groan, she closed her eyes and lay back on the quilt. She had actually done it. Last night she had gone to Tanner West, the one man in the world guaranteed to set her teeth on edge, and asked him to teach her how to attract a man's attention.

Had this small gap in her sanity always been there, she wondered now, just waiting for her to stumble across it? Or was it some symptom of having lived alone for so long? Maybe this was the first step toward turning into one of those sweet old women who wore outrageous hats and a bathrobe while they talked to invisible friends.

"For heaven's sake, what is wrong with you?"

Opening her eyes, she found Glenna frowning as she stared sideways at her. "Sorry," Rae said, sitting up. "Did you say something?"

"I've been saying and saying all morning, but you haven't heard a word. You keep muttering to yourself and exhaling those breathy little moans. It's damned weird. I told you not to sit up with Miss Rodale's electric bills last night. Those things would put anyone in a blue funk."

Rae brushed an ant off the quilt, bit her lip, and shot a hesitant glance at her friend. "Can I ask you something?"

"Uh-uh." The brunette started shaking her head. "Not if you're going to ask me to take over those bills. Charts and graphs give me gas."

"Forget Miss Rodale for a minute." She paused and rubbed her forehead widi the tip of one finger as she tried to gather her thoughts. "I want to ask you a hypothetical question. What if. . . Okay, what if you were interested in a man—"

"That's no great stretch. There are a few dozen men I'm interested in."

"But what if there were only one. Just imagine you were single because you chose to be—"

"My imagination's not that good."

"—because you were, waiting for a certain kind of man. An exceptional man. The only kind of man you wanted to be the father of your children."

"I get to have children' in this hypothetical question? I don't know, Rae, do you really think I'd make a good mother? How many kids are we talking about?"

"Will you shut up and let me get to the question!" Clamping her mouth shut, Rae closed her eyes and counted to ten.

"Okay," she said a few moments later, forcing calm into her voice. "Now what if you found the kind of man you'd been looking for, but he didn't find you? I mean, what if you really wanted this man, but he barely knew you were alive?"

Glenna scratched her knee, her eyes narrowed in thought. "In the first place, the kind of man you're talking about, good father material, isn't the kind of man I'd ever have sweaty dreams over. But if something weirdly hormonal happened and I found myself seriously attracted to this Father Knows Best type, I don't know, I guess I'd chase him down and sit on him until he liked me back."

Rae made a soft sound of exasperation. "Why do I talk to you?"

"Because the twins are in the water, and I'm all that's left." Glenna glanced enviously at the two little girls, who had shed their clothes and were now splashing in the shallow water. "Let's go for it, Rae. Let's strip down to our silky drawers and go in with the girls."

"Right," Rae said, her tone sarcastic as she flopped back and closed her eyes again. "And give Mickey E. apoplexy."

Michael Edward Dawson, the park ranger, known as Mickey E. in order to distinguish him from his father, Mickey G., hauled people before the justice of the peace for dropping a candy wrapper on the grass. He wouldn't take kindly to his serene kingdom being thrown into disorder by two women in their skivvies.

"You have a chicken heart, Rae."

Rae was silent for a moment. "You know, I'm beginning to think you're right," she said with a small sigh.

Yesterday in her office when she had reached her momentous decision, it had seemed so clear-cut. So emphatically right. She would go after what she wanted. Instead of letting the tides of fate sweep her along, she would swim like hell and go in the direction of her choice.

Even at the cabin, when she realized how incredible the idea sounded when spoken aloud, she had suppressed her natural doubts and convinced herself that desperate situations, called for desperate measures. She had soothed her qualms with the thought that she was being determined and ingenious.

Now, in the clear light of day, she realized her determination and ingenuity were nothing more than self-delusions, a nice way of saying she had been stubbornly bizarre. Rae simply wasn't the type of person to scheme and maneuver. She couldn't blatantly—

"There she is again," Glenna said suddenly.

Keeping her eyes closed, Rae shook her head vehemently. "I don't want to see Lynda today," she said through clenched teeth. "I don't want to see Lynda or Paula who works at Beatty's, and I especially don't want to see Tanner."

"Tanner's not with them. It's just Drew and Miss Sexy Snotnose in the little sailboat. They're looking this way,'" Glenna hissed urgently. "Wave, Rae."

Rae sat up and shaded her eyes, looking out toward the open lake. The sailboat was' skimming across the water, fifty yards or so off the bank. Drew, in white shorts and blue polo shirt, looked tanned and fit, the sun picking up the blond streaks in his hair. When he yelled a greeting and waved at them, Rae waved back.

Lynda didn't wave. She was too busy looking sexy. The blonde had exchanged the thong bikini for a sleek black swimsuit, cut to the pubic bone in front and nothing but crisscrossed strings on the side. Hot enough to make a man's eyes sting.

Rae, on the other hand, was wearing khaki shorts, a pink camp shirt, and pink tennis shoes, her auburn hair pulled up in a ponytail and held by a pink elastic band.

Seventy-six degrees, tops.

"She's probably dumb as a post," Glenna muttered, squinting her eyes against the sun.

"Maybe, but Drew hasn't noticed. Or if he's noticed, he obviously doesn't consider it a drawback." Rae rose abruptly to her feet. "I'm going to walk up to the marina for a magazine. Do you want anything?"

"Yeah, bring me one of those cookie, caramel, chocolate-covered things .. . and two of those little chocolate sodas .. . and a bag of cheese twists— What's that look for? Would you like to make a comment about my eating habits? When you're depressed, you do something energetic. I eat. Different metabolism. And get me some sugarless gum!" she yelled after her departing friend.

As Rae walked along the gravel road, she rubbed at a stain on her shorts. Khaki walking shorts, she thought, rolling her eyes in contempt. Birdwatcher's gear.

But, of course, her clothes had never been the issue. Even if she had a.swimsuit like Lynda's, she wouldn't be able to make it a part of her personality the way the blonde did.

What was it Tanner had said?
Hot's not on the surface. It's how you handle what's inside you.
Rae frowned. Was there anything inside her? What if along with her birdwatcher's clothes, she also had birdwatcher's sexuality?

Making love with Johnny had been wonderful, like being wrapped in a cocoon of security and warmth, but neither of them had placed an inordinate amount of importance on sex. It was simply another way of expressing their love for each other. It was a way of reaffirming their closeness.

Wildfire.

Tanner said he had seen wildfire in her. But surely Rae should know better than anyone what was inside her. And never once had she felt anything remotely resembling that kind of heat.

Warm and cozy was the best she would ever do, she told herself with a resigned sigh as she turned onto the main road that led to the marina.

Sandridge Marina was one of three marinas on Lake Ed Briscoe, and the only one that didn't cater exclusively to fishermen. Along with several rows of boat stalls there were a general store, a gas pump, and a small cafe that always smelled of stale grease. Bypassing the cafe, Rae stepped into the store and gave a small sigh as the refrigerated air hit her. Living up to its name, the general store kept in stock all the things you were sure to forget on a trip to the lake. Suntan lotion and insect repellent. Potato chips and charcoal briquettes. Silly bumper stickers and cheap sunglasses.

After pulling a cold drink from the cooler, she headed for the magazine rack at the back of the store and began to browse through the surprisingly large selection.

"The Sexiest Summer Clothes Ever." "How to Keep a Man Happy .. . and at Home." "Has Your Mate Stopped Enjoying Sex?" "What Do Men REALLY Want.. . The Revealing Results of Our Nationwide Survey."

In self-defense Rae grabbed a news magazine and began to thumb through it, searching frantically for something that had nothing to do with men or sex. As she was trying to get seriously interested in an article about a labor bill that was doomed to be vetoed, Lynda and Drew walked into the store.

Stifling a long-suffering groan, Rae slowly raised the magazine until it covered her face. Of all the things she didn't need at the moment, running into Drew and Lynda was at the top of the list. Today, with Rae in crumpled clothes and her hair damp with perspiration, the contrast between her and the blonde would be just too depressing.

"I thought that was you."

Jumping in startled reaction, Rae slowly lowered the magazine.

Drew was standing a couple of feet away, smiling that wonderful smile at her. A smile that said that running into her was one of life's little unexpected pleasures. The same smile he gave to the mayor's wife and to Glenna and to any stranger he happened to pass on the street.

"Hi," she said, returning his smile with a twitch of her lips. She glanced behind him. "Where's your friend?"

Motioning toward the ladies' room, he examined her face with a soft chuckle. "Your nose is getting pink. You'd better watch it, Rae. Say, why don't you come out with us for a while? I have some sunscreen on the boat. And enough food for an army if you're hungry. Mrs. Tease baked a wonderful chocolate-cherry cake."

She shook her head. "Thanks anyway, but Glenna and I have her two nieces with us, and I don't think—"

"Drew?"

The word, spoken in a breathy and slightly petulant way, gained his immediate attention. Lynda stood by the entrance, her head tilted to the side, her lower lip drooping in a sensual moue of discontent.

"See you around, Rae," Drew said with an absentminded wave as he walked away.

On the half-mile trip back to the cove where she had left Glenna and the girls, Rae paused occasionally to pick up a rock and throw it at a tree or a sign or a bush. She rarely hit anything, but once she had the satisfaction of scaring some ducks.

As she walked, she muttered, "Slop some sunscreen on her nose . .. feed her chocolate-cherry cake ... take her for a ride in the nice sailboat. Like somebody's kid sister."

It wasn't fair. Rae was what she was. She didn't want to wear peekaboo swimsuits and talk in breathless, pouting tones. She didn't want to pretend to be something she wasn't. She didn't want—

Suddenly, interrupting her thought processes, came a picture of the twins with their chubby bodies and silly smiles. Their grubby kisses and exuberant hugs.

Rae drew in a sharp breath. Sweet heaven, she wanted that. She wanted to hold her own babies. She wanted to bathe them and read stories to them and rock them to sleep. She wanted to give them all the love she had inside her. The love that was just sitting there, going to waste. The love that ached to be given away.

Wiping away unbidden tears, Rae straightened her shoulders and started walking again.

When she reached the inlet, the twins were sleeping, and Glenna was stretched out beside them on the quilt, her eyes closed.

Rae stood staring down at the little girls for a long time; then, switching her gaze to the brunette, she nudged Glenna with the tip of one foot. There was no immediate response, so she nudged again, then again and again, putting more force behind it each time.

"What? What?" Glenna sat up and shaded her eyes to look up at Rae. "What?" she repeated.

"I want you to cut my hair."

Rae began to pace back and forth beside the quilt, wrapping the hair at her temples around her fingers and giving it sharp little tugs. "When we get home, I want you to cut my hair for me. Do you hear me? And it's got to be a drastic change. I want you to give me a look that's not even in the same room with wholesome."

"What's got into you? Where's my chocolate, my cheese twists?" Glenna's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Have you been drinking? What have you been drinking?" She glanced around. "Is Petey DuPuy selling that homemade stuff out of the back of his truck again?"

"I haven't been drinking, but I might start." Rae leaned against the rough trunk of the oak tree, then pushed away again, unable to keep still. "I'm going to make some changes, Glenna. No more lukewarm. You were right. Chase 'em down and sit on 'em. I'm not going to wait around for someone to hand me what I want. I'm going to go out and get it. . . no matter what I have to do."