Wildflower Wedding (21 page)

“Just stop.
If only
means nothing to me. You left. Period.”

“Okay.” He nodded again. “Thank you for listening, Reese. I'd give anything to turn back the clock, but I can't, so . . .”

“So you should go.”

He scrubbed a hand down his face. “I'm sorry, Reese. I should have come back and faced the music. I was a coward. And Tessa's right. No amount of money or success can bring back those lost years. We weren't rich, but I had it all and was too stupid to know it. I gambled with more than just money . . . I gambled my life away. I want to have you back in my life more than anything, but I don't blame you one bit if you don't want that.” He swallowed hard and then turned to go.

And Reese stood there and watched his father walk out the door.

Reese walked on wooden legs over to lock the door and then headed into the kitchen. His mother sat on the stool next to the phone where she took pizza orders. Her feet were resting on the top rung and she leaned her elbows on her knees. He braced himself to see her crying, but she wasn't.

Reese walked over and hugged her. “You are the strongest woman I know.”

“Well, you know what they say: What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.” She gave him a rather sad smile. “I always knew there was something crazy that happened to him.” She patted her chest. “I felt it. But I never would have guessed gambling. That was shocking.” She sighed. “He looked so tired, so sad.”

“Mom—”

“Oh, don't worry. I'm not going to throw myself into his arms,” Tessa promised firmly, but when she reached up to brush a lock of hair aside, her fingers trembled. “But it does feel good to finally have some answers.” She attempted a smile. “I'll take you up on spending the night. I can't fathom being alone after this and I know you have to be shook-up too.”

“At least,” he began, but then shook his head.

“Tell me. Please.”

“At least . . . he didn't leave because of me.”

“Oh, Reese!” Her eyes widened. “Why would you think such a thing?”

“Because nothing else made sense. I figured it had to be me.” He shrugged. “It's classic. Kids always think that it's their fault.”

“I didn't know. . . .” Her voice shook.

“I shouldn't have mentioned it.”

“No!” She put a hand on his arm. “I want to know how you feel about everything. We're in this together.”

Reese nodded. “I wasn't about to let you be by yourself. Let's go upstairs.”

“I'm sure it's neat as a pin, right?”

Reese chuckled. She was so good at changing the subject, lightening the mood if only a little bit. “Of course!” When she slid down from the stool, he looped his arm around her and squeezed. “I love you, Mom.”

She looked up and gave him a trembling smile and a tear slid down her cheek. “I love you too and I'm so very proud of you. And I always will be. Now let's head upstairs. I'm dead on my feet.”

After finding a new toothbrush and a big shirt for his mom to sleep in, he got her tucked into bed. “I know it's going to be hard, but I hope you sleep well.”

“I'm exhausted, so I don't think it's going to be an issue,” she said with a small smile. “Quite an eventful day, huh?”

“Yeah, hey, I'll even fix you smiley face pancakes in the morning. Although mine might not turn out as good as the ones you used to make. Sound good?”

She gave him a tired laugh, but a laugh nonetheless. “You betcha.”

Reese got some blankets out of the linen closet and headed for the sofa. He'd wanted to call Gabby, but when he got settled beneath the covers he was surprised when his phone said it was well after midnight. “Damn,” he whispered when he noticed he'd missed a couple of text messages from her. He sent a text asking if she was up but didn't get a response. Reese hoped she was sleeping and not angry, but he wanted to tell her about the unexpected appearance of his father, not send such stunning information in a text message. He waited, staring at his phone, but she didn't respond. Reese sighed. Just hearing her voice would have made him feel so much better, and God, he really wanted to be in her arms right now.

Having that thought made him realize the heartache his mother must have suffered all those years, yearning, longing, and missing her husband. She'd confessed it to him already, but even if she hadn't he could see the love for him in her eyes. But could love, no matter how strong, heal ten years of pain?

Surprisingly, Reese wasn't feeling the acute anger he'd expected to consume his thoughts. Only sadness remained. Reese suddenly thought about how much he loved Gabby. Losing her wasn't something he thought he could bear and so he understood his father's regret, his acute sorrow.

Reese inhaled a deep breath and rolled over to his side. A deep ache settled in his chest, and the wound that had healed suddenly felt ripped open, raw, and exposed. Granted, he'd heard the sincerity in his father's voice, seen the stark sadness in eyes. But could he ever forgive him? Much less allow him back into his life? But Cricket Creek was a small town, so it would be hard to avoid seeing him.

Knowing he needed sleep, Reese turned his thoughts back to Gabby. When her sweet face drifted across his mind he smiled and relaxed, thinking that he couldn't wait to have her in his arms once again.

But sleep eluded him and although he fought against it like an ice pick anger started chipping away at his hard-won peace. He knew he had to hold it together for his mother's sake and for his relationship with Gabby. He hoped and prayed he could dig deep and find the strength to do it.

Just Remember I Love You

A
FTER A RESTLESS NIGHT OF TOSSING AND TURNING,
Gabby woke up lying nearly sideways with her feet tangled in the sheet so much so that she had to work like an escape artist to get free. She grabbed the spare pillow, hugging the middle, while memories of strange disjointed dreams danced around in her head. She hoped that the dreams were random and didn't possess any meaning. She yawned, frowned, and then with a long moan she shut her eyes against the fingers of sunlight reaching through her window.

A glance at her cell phone told her it was way too early to be up on her day off and she shut her eyes, but after failing to fall back asleep she groaned again and then threw the covers back. As soon as her feet hit the floor, her stomach rumbled. She remembered she'd skipped the late dinner she'd planned when Reese failed to show up last night, and her body felt the need to protest.

“Right . . . ,” Gabby mumbled, and then let out a little yelp when she saw her reflection in the mirror. Her short, layered hair looked as if it had been styled with an egg beater. “I seriously need some really strong coffee.”

But after she padded barefoot into her kitchen, she couldn't muster up the energy to start coffee, and the oatmeal she'd planned on eating suddenly held no appeal.

Gabby snapped her fingers. “I need a sticky bun from Grammar's.” But then she remembered it was Sunday and the bakery would be closed. She thought about walking up to Wine and Diner for breakfast, but the prospect of talking to people had her sighing. Last night Gabby planned to tell Reese that she loved him and now she felt so damned confused. A million questions went through her head and she closed her eyes, fighting off tears.

When her phone beeped, Gabby's heart started beating faster. Reese? She thought back to the message he had sent late last night saying that they needed to talk.
We need to talk
. In her experience those four little words never led to anything pleasant.

With trembling fingers Gabby picked up her phone. The text message was from Joy reminding Gabby about the charity pancake breakfast at Whisper's Edge. Gabby smiled sadly. She didn't think she would go, but it helped to know that she now had people in her life that cared about her. After putting the phone down on the counter, she went ahead and made coffee, not even thinking about the task as she did it, so much so that she felt mildly surprised when the scent of coffee filled the air.

The machine sputtered and gurgled as if it were any ordinary morning. But it wasn't. Gabby's ordinary had become Reese slipping his arms around her about now, kissing her neck, and saying something sweet or sexy. Feeling loved, protected, and wanted had become ordinary, so this sudden shaky fear of impending we-need-to-talk doom took her off guard. But Gabby had learned through experience that life went on no matter what horrific event occurred. Lost in her thoughts, she suddenly realized that someone was tapping on her door.

“Addison!” Gabby said in the most cheerful voice she could muster.

“Hey there, Gabby!”

“Come on in.”

“I come bearing gifts!” Addison breezed into the kitchen and put a plastic container on the table. “I had some leftover wedding cake. . . . Well, these are actually cupcakes, what so many brides are doing these days. Anyway, I had some samples from Grammar's and I thought you might like a few. I know it's early, so if you weren't up I was going to leave them on your doorstep.” She grinned. “Like the cupcake fairy.”

Gabby gave Addison a hug. “I was just wishing I had a pastry. A cupcake will do nicely. I just brewed some coffee. Care to join me?”

Addison shook her head. “I'm going for a jog along the river before the day gets too hot. Having those cupcakes around is going straight to my bum.” She turned around and pointed. “Reid is working on the farm today, so after my run I'm going to do some inventory.” She tilted her head and frowned. “Hey, are you okay?”

“Yeah.” She waved a dismissive hand. “I just didn't sleep well last night.” She pointed to her spiky hair. “I've got some serious bed-head going on. I think it has something to do with the odd dreams I had. One involved being chased by a giant frog.” She shrugged and attempted a chuckle. “Go figure.”

“Yeah, insomnia sure sucks.” Addison nodded but didn't look as if she quite bought it. “Well, I'll be around most of the day if you want to pop in the shop and shoot the breeze. I might head out to the farm and do some hiking in the woods or take a ride on a quad if you want to join me. I can actually drive one now, although I go much slower than Reid. Sara's adding a fire pit to the patio next to the barn for fall weddings.”

“Oh, that's a great idea.”

“Yeah, I wanted to see the progress. Give me a call if you're interested in going with me.”

“Thanks, I'll remember that,” Gabby said lightly, but suddenly struggled to keep it together.

Addison eyed her closely. “Listen, if you're having guy trouble, stress with the shop, I totally get it, so please come over and talk later if you want to, okay?”

“I promise.” Gabby nodded and gave her another quick hug. “And thanks for the cupcakes. I need to start jogging too!”

“You can join me whenever you want to. Trust me, I don't push too hard. I use the term
jog
or
run
loosely. I mostly power-walk.” She pumped her arms, demonstrating. “Or just walk,” she whispered behind her hand. “But taking the route along the river is relaxing and makes me feel as if I'm working out.”

“I'll remember that too.”

“Okay, well, catch ya later.”

After Addison left, Gabby poured coffee into a big mug. She peeked at the fancy cupcakes, but the cloying scent of sugar didn't sit well with her stomach and she opted to sip her coffee instead. Hopefully, she'd hear from Reese soon and her runaway mind would settle back down.

After a few minutes passed, Gabby considered calling Reese but then dismissed the notion. Reese needed to contact
her
and give
her
an explanation for standing her up.

After forcing herself to eat some strawberry-flavored oatmeal, Gabby showered and pulled on a pair of worn denim shorts and a Cricket Creek Cougars T-shirt. She went through the motions of making the bed, smiling at the beauty of the patchwork quilt handcrafted by Reid Greenfield's mother. When she'd tried to purchase the quilt at Addison's bridal shop, her friend insisted on giving it to her. Gabby sat down and ran her hand over the soft cotton, thinking that she really did need to get out of the apartment and take a break from thinking about Reese.

Gabby thought about Addison's offer to hang out and Joy's invitation to the pancake breakfast and then wondered if there might be a Cougars baseball game to attend? Or maybe she'd walk up to Sully's Tavern for lunch and get a much-needed bear hug from Pete. All of the options made her smile. She had people who cared about her. Friends she could count on. But Gabby suddenly knew just where she needed to spend her afternoon. She inhaled deeply, thinking she might pack a picnic lunch to take along, and then heard knocking at her door.

Just when Gabby had given up on the hope that it would be Reese standing on her doorstep, there he was, making her heart kick into high gear. She hurried over and opened the door, wondering if she should hug him, but instead she stepped aside and motioned for him to enter. “Hey there,” she said softly, hating the uncertainty in her voice.

“Hey, yourself,” Reese said, and gave her a hug that should have put Gabby at ease, but she could feel the tension in his embrace.

“Can I get you something to drink?” she asked.

“Water would be great,” Reese answered, appearing so serious that Gabby felt another jolt of uneasiness. She grabbed two bottles of cold water from the fridge and handed Reese one before sitting down across from him at the small table.

“So, what's on your mind?” Nervous, Gabby toyed with the label on the bottle and waited.

“My father is back in Cricket Creek.”

“Oh my goodness.” Gabby put a hand on her chest. “So . . . so you've seen him?”

Reese nodded. “Just when we were about to close, he walked into the dining room.” He shook his head. “Mom was floored.”

“I can imagine.” She waited for him to continue.

“He had a gambling problem, Gabby. Owed money to the wrong people, dangerous people, and so he left.”

Gabby reached across the table and put her hand over his. “Oh, Reese, I'm so sorry. At least now you know the reason.”

“Reason? I view it as an excuse. He said he didn't want to return until he could make things right. But he was a coward. He messed up and his damned pride kept him away. Now he's back armed with piles of money and he somehow thinks that makes it all okay.”

“I doubt that he thinks that,” Gabby responded gently, but Reese pulled his hand away.

“Really? Well, he can go to hell for all I care.”

“Reese, I understand your anger, but—”

“No, you don't.” He took a swig of water. “I prayed for so many years for him to return, and now that he has I wish he'd just stayed the hell away. Mom could have divorced his sorry ass and we could have all moved on. We were doing so well and now he's come back and fucked it all up. Mom is a mess. Uncle Tony is mad as hell.”

“And so are you.”

“Yeah. I'm trying really hard not to be, and at first all I felt was sadness. But anger is gripping me, Gabby, and I'm having a hard time shaking it off.” He closed his eyes and sighed. “I'm so sorry to put you through all of this.”

“Reese, I'm here for you,” Gabby assured him, but the stark look in his eyes worried her. “I don't blame you for being angry. Who wouldn't be?” She was about to tell him that she loved him, but he scooted back and folded his arms across his chest and stared down at the floor. She could feel him erecting a wall and she needed to tear it down before it gained strength. “I'm not going away. I want to help you through this. That's what people who love each other do.”

He glanced up. “But you never told me you loved me, remember?”

“I do. I love you, Reese.” It felt wonderfully freeing to finally voice her feelings.

“Ah . . . Gabby.” He shook his head. “You're saying that because you think you have to. I want you to say it because you feel it,” he said, and unfolded his arms to tap his chest. “In here.”

“You're wrong. I wouldn't say it if I didn't feel it, Reese. I should have said it sooner. I was . . . afraid. I was going to tell you last night. And then . . .”

“And then my . . . father showed up and ruined everything.”

“Everything isn't ruined.”

Something flickered in his eyes, but he remained silent. Gabby understood. Anger was a defense Reese used to mask hurt and to combat his own fear. But she didn't want to see him slip into that dark place.

“Reese, I realize this is hard, but—”

“Gabby, you can't possibly realize how I feel, so don't even try. The man gambled away my family's hard-earned money and then left for ten years. Now he thinks he can come waltzing back into our lives.” He snapped his fingers. “Just like that. Well, my mother might trust him enough to let him back in her life, but I won't.” He shoved his fingers through his hair. “I tried to hold it together. But I was up most of the night thinking about the whole damned thing and I just got more and more pissed off. I didn't let my mother know, but damn, I just . . .” He shook his head, looking up at the ceiling.

“I really do understand your anger.”

“No, you don't. You couldn't possibly.”

“Really, Reese?” Gabby pushed away from the table and stood up. “I was angry at my mother for dying. She smoked. It killed her. I was angry beyond all reason. I asked her so many times to stop, but she didn't. And she died.” Gabby blinked back tears. “But I forgave her because she was my
mother
.” Her chest rose and fell. “And I would give anything to have another day . . . damn, another hour with her. Look, I know it will be a process. A long road. But your father is back. You have that chance. Don't blow it for the same reason he failed to come back. Pride. Foolish, selfish pride. It cost him ten years and put you and your mother through hell. Don't do the same damned thing!” Her voice shook, but she stood her ground. “Why waste another minute?” she asked, and then leaned forward. “Do you know where I was headed?”

Reese shook his head.

“To the field of wildflowers where I scattered my mother's ashes. I used to go there on a regular basis, but I've been so busy with the shop and . . .” She shrugged. “It's hard. Emotional. But I need to go more often. I miss her so . . .
so much
.” She swiped at a tear. “And when I'm in that field with the wildflowers swaying in the wind, I feel like she's there. With me.” She closed her eyes and then opened them and looked directly at Reese. “I don't have a second chance. I won't see my mother, feel her hug, and hear her voice until I'm on the other side with her. But you have the chance. Take it! If it doesn't work out; if he disappoints you again, well, you can't do anything about that. It's on him. But take the chance you've been given.”

Reese looked at her for a long, emotional moment and then stood up. “I just don't think I can. I don't want to give him the power to hurt me again.” He inhaled a long breath and blew it out. “I can tell by the look in your eyes that I'm disappointing you. I'm pretty damned good at disappointing people. I should go.”

Gabby nodded. “You shouldn't go, but I won't stop you.” As much as she wanted to pull him into her arms, she could feel his resistance, his anger. As hard as it was not to run after him, she knew he needed space and time to think, get his head wrapped around his father being back in Cricket Creek.