Wildlife (25 page)

Lou and Michael and I tiptoe through the all-night tangle of sleeping bags and snores outside into the almost-morning of our last day.

The roof of the assembly hall is wet with dew as we scramble up, but the ridge is wide and comfortable and we
can sit here, wrapped around by the mountains, without feeling like we’re about to plummet.

Michael smiles his dreamyvague smile, and Lou is wiping happysad tears from her face as the sun slices away the night.

I put an arm around each of them.

friday 7 december

Up on the roof with Sibylla and Michael, and wouldn’t you know it, I was sad that it’s our last morning despite having frequently and fervently longed for the term to be over.

What an impossible pair we are, quick and dead, two little syllables, never the twain, etc.

When I see the sun split the mountains from the sky on our last day
… I see it with my new friends, and I see it for you, too, Fred.

I won’t ever let you die again. You will always be a part of me, and how I see the world.

The sky grows lighter too quickly. Time soon to eat our last breakfast and finish packing. As we stand and stretch, ready to climb down, the thought that we won’t see each other every day is unimaginable.

“You really should go out with Lou.” I am as shocked as the other two to hear the words coming from my mouth. The idea has been building for a while, but… I said that
out loud
?

Michael, better acquainted with my skills at the inappropriate blurt, recovers first. “Louisa won’t be giving her heart away for a very long time.”

Lou nods in grim agreement.

“Neither will I,” I say, thinking of Ben with the stab that happens every time he comes to mind.

“Me neither,” says Michael, looking at me.

“So—summer of the lonely hearts club, coming up,” says Lou.

We look at each other. It seems like the right thing to scream out to the mountains from the rooftop now that the sun is up.

Heartfelt thanks to Michael Brown, Andrea Claburn, Greer Clemens, Kaz Cooke, Claire Craig, Cath Crowley, Rosey Cummings, Katelyn Detweiler, Debi Enker, Jill Grinberg, Philippa Hawker, Nick Hede, Julia Heyward, Simmone Howell, Penny Hueston, Elizabeth Hunt, Farrin Jacobs, Alex Kay, Tessa Kay, Julie Landvogt, Louise Lavarack, Ali Lavau, Violet Leonard, Jo Lyons, Melina Marchetta, Alex McCombe, Olivia McCombe, Cheryl Pientka, Madeleine Ryan, Tom Ryan, Samantha Sainsbury, Jane Sullivan, Penny Tangey, Adele Walsh, George Wood, Zoe Wood, and especially Jamie Wood.

Thanks to Arts Victoria.

Writing this book overlapped with
Six Impossible Things
, and once again I thank Varuna, the Writers’ House, for The Eleanor Dark Flagship Fellowship; Iola Mathews, Writers Victoria and the National Trust for the Glenfern Writers’ Studios; and the Readings Foundation for the Glenfern Fellowship.