Wildwood Creek (34 page)

“So off we go then, into the open country, where they’s Indians and all kinda dangers. Lordy, I never pray so much in my life, as then. And if I ain’t growed before then, Wildwood turn me into a woman. Strong woman, findin’ where my own mind is. They ain’t no other way a’ life in Wildwood. Ain’t no place fo’ the weak. You don’ get strong, you be ate up after-while.

“Massah Delevan, he pure bad. He a bad, bad man, and his mama bad too. Wildwood they town. They own ever’body and ever’thing in it.

“They so much evil in that place, I feel it wrappin’ ’round, minute I come to town. Bonnie Rose, she feelin’ it too, I can see. But she won’ say. She got secrets, and she trapped as me.

“They’s some secrets meant fo’ carryin’ to the grave. Some secrets kept fo’ the livin’, and some fo’ the dead. Some ain’t never to be told. But I reckon it okay to tell this one now. She long gone now, Miss Bonnie Rose. Live to the ripe old age a’ eighty-two, up in Montana Territory. Her kids mos’ly gone by now too, I ’magine. I outlive ’bout ever’body I know, ’cept my gran’chil’ens and two of my chil’ens. Som’tin’ wrong wit’ dat, but I had me a good life. A good, good life, so I ain’t complainin’. My life been a’ adventure—wit’ pain, hard work, love, and blessin’s. Lord give me everythin’ I need, day by day, and the blessin’ part is, I knowed that while it was
happenin’. Didn’ go ’round wantin’ mo’, way these young folk do today.

“All that wantin’ make you pow’ful unhappy. I learn that early, so I jus’ spend my life thankin’. Thankin’ the Almighty fo’ everythin’. Good Lord give me a fine man, give me seven babies. Give me a life where I never had to put a babe a’ mine in the ground, till long after they had they own long lives.

“In Wildwood, he give me a miracle too.

“He deliver me from evil, just like the Bible say. Bad, bad time come to Wildwood, not three-month after I get to that place. War brewin’ heavy to the east, den. Regiments gatherin’ in Texas to go to the fight. Massah Delevan, he got plans to raise him one. Got the money fo’ it too.

“But they Irishmen and Germans folk in Wildwood, mostly. Fair number a’ them, they don’ want nothin’ to do wit’ no secession or no goin’ off to fight them North states. They immigrant folk, come from up north, mos’ly. Got they families and they people back there. They don’ cotton to fightin’ they homefolk. First a’ all, one speak up again’ it, then another. Then they gone all-sudden, they whole families. Jus’ gone.

“Fear come circle ’round Wildwood. All kind a’ fear. Folk runnin’ off and hidin’ in the wood. Folk talkin’ ’bout monsters in the wood, Indians sneakin’ round, and river people come up outta that water to drag down mens and womens and childs, eat ’em up whole. Some say Miss Bonnie Rose done it, dat she be queen a’ them river people herself. A river witch, and she be stealin’ people’s minds in they sleep.

“Fear travlin’ everywhere, then. Fear got faster feet than truth, sometime. Folk jus’ want to get ’way from Wildwood, but Massah’s men, they don’ let nobody go. Some a’ the townfolk, they make a plan, they gon’ to band together, take over the town, get they belongin’s and they families and run fo’ Mexico.

“But Massah Delevan and his bunch, they find it out that bad, awful night. Catch them men and start roundin’ up all the families that’s dug in, hidin’. Gon’ to make them peoples sign that oath. But befo’ it be done, fightin’ break out, and they kill mens, womens, even boys that ain’t growed they whiskers yet. Massah Delevan covered in innocent blood when he come stumblin’ back into that big house.

“His mama, she know. She know what he done. They got to hide it, she say. Hide it so’s the tale don’ never be told.”

Interviewer: “Essie, I can see this is very upsetting. Shall we rest a bit before we go on?”

Essie Jane Porter: “No’m. I tell it all, while I can. Get it outta me. Might be I’s the only one lef’ knowin’ how them chil’ens a’ Wildwood been saved. Massah Delevan’s men corralled the chil’ens up at the schoolhouse to make they parents mind. After Massah and his mama leave, we know them little babies gon’ to be next. Massah don’ want nobody lef’ to tell the tale.

“When Massah and his mama gone, Miss Peasie and Asmae gather up Big Neb n’ me, help us to get what we gon’ to need. She a good woman, Miss Peasie, but soft in the head. Like she a little chil’, but she won’t hurt nobody. She love them little chil’ens in Wildwood. Love to sit on the porch a’ the big house and watch them play. Even she understand what gon’ to happen that bad night.

“Miss Peasie tell me, ‘You run get Bonnie Rose and the chi’dren, and get gone, far as you can go.’

“I scared outta my mind. A big storm come that night, and I know what happen to a runaway if they get caught, but I do what Asmae say. We get them chil’ens and them bags Miss Peasie and Asmae pack up, and we load it on a mule wagon, and go racin’ off in the storm.

“God give us a miracle that night. He deliver us from evil,
jus’ like the Lord’s Prayer tell it—the evil of men agains’ men. Of murderin’ them who’s innocent. The Lord bring us outta Wildwood, get us ’cross the river, and then He rise up the watah, keep them bad men back, same way He stop Pharoah chasin’ the Israelites outta Egypt.

“Big Neb and Miss Bonnie, they get us through, all the way to Missah Hardwick, and he take us on. We keep runnin’ till we safe.”

Interviewer: “So, you were able to escape with the children and travel north, away from the fighting?”

Essie Jane: “Yes’m. Missah Hardwick, he hear tell that sometime soon, President Lincoln gon’ to sign a paper where folk can claim public lands in Montana Territory, jus’ fo’ homesteadin’ on it. Missah Hardwick, he say he don’ know if that mean free Negro folk too, but if me and Big Neb hep him get to Montana, he figure out a way fo’ me and Neb to homestead land next’a his, and it be ours someday.

“We can’t even think it in our mind, Neb and me. Land that belong to us! Lord have mercy!

“But we got so many new things to learn. This a new life, and it come wit’ all kinda lessons. Got to learn not to call no man massah. Got to learn to count money. Got to learn to figure up what we gon’ need and get it fo’ a fair price. I never done that befo’ in my life. Never look a white woman in the eye, neither. Got to learn to hold my head up, stand straight, act like a free woman, not no runaway slave.

“Like I been born again in a whole new world, dat’s how it is. Like God lift me outta Egypt and drop me in the promise’ land. I figure that Montana Territory gon’ to be somethin’ to see.

“Miss Bonnie, she school me in readin’ and writin’ and numbers while we wait and get us all ready to join a group gon’ to go north, next spring. I learn right ’long wit’ little
Maggie May and them eleven kids we brung outta Wildwood. Mos’ly, they’s no finding they families, if they got any still livin’. Back in them days, ain’t like today. Got no FBI, no telephone. Can’t do nothin’ but take them babies in to raise, and so Miss Bonnie, she do it. She and Mr. Hardwick say they gon’ to marry. They fill up a hole inside each other. They good together.

“Me and Neb, we figure we might as well too. ‘Neb, if we gon’ to homestead together in dat Montana Territory,’ I tell him, ‘I ain’t gonna be livin’ in sin. You gon’ marry me fo’ God, or you can forget about all that.’

“Travlin’ preacher, he say the vows befo’ we head off wit’ a group of folk gon’ to Montana. We cross rivers, climb mountains, fight off Indians, even. But mos’ly, just put one foot in front’a the other, and keep walkin’ from pas’ to future, one step at a time. That’s all God ask of folk, if’n you think about it. Step out on the trail, and have faith that He gon’ to lay it down, mile after mile, make you strong enough to walk it.

“I live all my life in Montana, mos’ly. We got the money fo’ what we need to make a start up there. On the trail, when we open up them bags Miss Peasie pack fo’ us, in there wit’ the food, they two bags a’ gold coin. It ain’t enough to get rich off’a, but it get us west and keep us goin’. We figure it ain’t stealing, since it been give to us, but they’s not a one a’ us like keepin’ a thing from Wildwood. That place like a nightmare we all need’a forget.

“We don’ never talk about it no more, even wit’ the chi’dren. We keep that secret for they sake, much as our own. For lotta years, we lookin’ over our shoulder, ’fraid maybe Massah Delevan fin’ out where we gone, and he come afta us fo’ stealin’. And finally, that secret don’ even seem real no mo’. Them kids grow up and start makin’ they own lives, and it like Wildwood never been at all.

“Miss Bonnie, she love Mr. Hardwick in her own way, I think. They smooth the rough edges off bad mem’ries.

“But I know. I know they another man she always think about, when she ride off to the hills on her own. I see her sittin’ up there sometime, starin’ off into the faraway. She and Mr. Hardwick try for babies, but babies never come. I know she missin’ that too.

“And then, when she still a young woman, not twenty-six year-old, Mr. Hardwick ol’ roan horse miss a step and slide down the mountain wit’ him. They raisin’ horses by then, and got a reputation fo’ a stallion fast as lightnin’. Missah Hardwick name him Wildwood Rose, afta Miss Bonnie. Neb break the colts and shoe the ridin’ stock, and Mr. Hardwick sell ’em far and wide to them settlers and gold seekers pourin’ in. But afta that accident, Mr. Hardwick, he gone from pneumonia in two month. He die on Christmas Day. Ground so froze, we can’t even dig a grave.

“In the spring, we finally get to bury him, and Miss Bonnie say good-bye. I don’ know what she gon’ to do after that, but she just keep on livin’ day by day, runnin’ that ranch with some a’ them kids they’s raised. The big boys, they mens by then. They take that stallion to the match races on Sat’aday nights. Old Wildwood Rose, he win ever-time.

“Miss Bonnie, she ride him up on the hill some evenin’s and look out into the distant. I know what she lookin’ fo’.

“I make up my mind to write me a letter. I ain’t good at writin’, don’t care fo’ it much, but I can put together enough to say what need be said. I write one letter, and I put another inside it, and I send it off.

“The steamboats, they done had they day by then, but I figure, if the cap’n survive the war, he still gon’ to be workin’ on the water. He got that big, long river in his blood. I
figure, somebody at that riverport know where to find ’im, if he still alive.

“I don’t tell nobody I make that letter. Even Neb. We got us a settlement near enough then, and I just go and post that letter my ownself, but befo’ I do it, I stop off, and I get on my knees, and I pray over it hard, hard. Send out that letter and the prayer, all in one.

“Come summer, me and Miss Bonnie out hangin’ the clothes one day. We always gets us together and does the washin’ and ironin’. We laughs and talks and watches after the babies. Neb an’ me, we got them comin’ one right after the other. Five by then, in only eight-year, and we figurin’ we gone have to stop sometime soon, but they so cute. Miss Bonnie, she love ’em ever-one. They like her own grandbabies, even though she young yet.

“And then that day, we doin’ the wash, and they come a man walkin’ in the far-off distant. I figure he must a’ jump off the freight wagon up the trail a piece, come to get him a good young horse. Miss Bonnie, she stand up and shade her eyes. Look over her shoulder and check fo’ the rifle, jus’ in case. But he don’ get too close befo’ I know who he be. Some men, you can tell from a long way off. He a walkin’ mountain, that one, like my Neb.

“I feel it all up inside me. The Lord, He my friend and my helper. My steady rock. My maker a’ miracles. ’Cause that what it be. I seen it right off.

“My prayer been answered. A whole lotta prayers, I reckon. Miss Bonnie been offerin’ them up on that hillside fo’ a long time now. I reckon Cap’n has too, or he wouldn’t be travlin’ all this way.

“When Miss Bonnie finally see who that is comin’, she don’ say nothin’. Not one word. Jus’ drop that white petticoat she
holdin’ and let it fall right in the dust, and she scream out and go to runnin’.

“I don’ say nothin’, neither. I just fall on my knees, and thank God, thank God, thank God.

“He a God of miracles and wonders. And love the greatest one of all.

“This big ol’ world can’t never, ever get enough of it.”

1. Both Bonnie and Allie are young women who find themselves in challenging circumstances in pursuit of a dream. Have you ever been forced to face what seems like insurmountable odds to achieve a dream? How did you react?
   
2. Allie finds herself caught between family expectations and an artistic passion that doesn’t fit the family structure. How do families unconsciously limit and/or nurture dreams, especially big dreams that may seem impractical? Is there a “black sheep” in your family who struggles to fit the mold?
   
3. When faced with the reality of confronting her worst fears by moving to the frontier again, Bonnie confesses, “Fear changes nothing. A circumstance is still a circumstance.” How does fear affect our decision-making? Should it? Have you ever made a decision out of fear and then regretted it?
   
4. Allie works diligently at her job with Razor Point Productions, but like many young hopefuls, finds herself
   unappreciated and often talked down to. In part, she uses humor to overcome. Have you ever experienced a similar circumstance? How did you overcome it?
   
5. Allie struggles to be happy for Kim when Kim decides she is in love. Why do you think she feels this way? Why do we sometimes struggle to be happy for the people we care about?
   
6. Part of the history of Bonnie Rose is preserved in the “Ballad of Wildwood.” How does your family preserve history? Do you have a favorite family story? If a ballad were written about your family, what would the title be?
   
7. After beginning life in Wildwood, Allie discovers that, while the days are physically hard, her mind is far less cluttered and busy. Do you think we’re too busy and distracted with all of our gadgets and demands these days? Is it possible to simplify our modern lives? What good examples could we take from the lives of our ancestors?
   
8. Would you like to become a modern-day time traveler? If you could visit any era in history, which one would you visit? What modern convenience would you have the hardest time giving up?
   
9. Because of what’s happened in the past, both Allie and Bonnie have trouble trusting the possibility of new love. How can previous pain limit our ability to be open to new people in the future? How can we overcome this?
   
10. Bonnie fears that God might not be able to love or hear the prayers of a “soiled” woman such as herself. How do you see God’s love as different from human love?
    Why do we sometimes feel we’re not “good enough” to be loved by God?
    
11. Kim lives by the seat of her pants, stepping out boldly into new situations, while Allie is the worrier and much more careful or doubtful. What are the problems of each approach? What are the advantages? Which character are you more in line with?
    
12. When mentoring Wren, Allie realizes how much Grandma Rita did for her and notes that sometimes one person who speaks good things into you can change your self-image. Did you have that one person? Have you been that one person for someone?
    
13. Allie realizes in the end that “All the debris we cling to doesn’t keep us afloat, it kills the life within us.” Have there been times when you’ve clung to debris for too long? When and why? What were the effects? What happened when you let go?
    
14. In her narrative, Essie Jane observes, “My life been a’ adventure with pain, hard work, love, and blessin’s. . . . The blessin’ part is, I knowed that while it was happenin’. Didn’t go around wantin’ more. All that wantin’ more make you powerful unhappy.” How do our own expectations blind us to the gifts we’ve already been given? How can we become more aware of the golden moments in life as they’re happening?