Will To Live (2 page)

We finally sit on a few thick logs around the fire and begin to eat, eventually, we even start to talk–well,
Vicki
starts to talk.
 

"I still can't believe everything that happened last night. My sister hated me. She
really
hated me!" Her voice raises on the last word then ends in a sob. She covers her face with her hands and leans into Nick when he wraps his arms around her. "And Jake! I thought of Jake as an older brother. He treated me better than anyone I ever knew. Much better than my parents." She uncovers her face after a few moments and looks first at Nick, then at me, with incredibly wide eyes. Then her mouth drops as she looks with fear into the woods behind me and to my right.
 

I just stood up to take my plate and wash it when she does this shit, so I immediately crouch down with my cast sticking straight out to the side, grab my gun, and search the woods frantically. Seeing nothing, I spare Vicki a quick glance to find both her and Nick staring at me in surprise. Nick couldn't see her reaction, as he's sitting to her right and her body is turned slightly away from him.

I keep my gun on the woods and look back and forth between them and Vicki. "
What
, Vicki! What the hell were you looking at in the woods?"
 

Vicki gives a slow look at Nick, then they both raise their brows at each other, as if to imply I've done lost it.

And maybe I have, but damn!
Who wouldn't have assumed what I did by her reaction?
 

"I wasn't. I– I just remembered something is all."

You gotta be shittin' me!

I stand again, but this time, I put the gun in my fatigue holster. I give her a look as I prop my hands on my hips, waiting for her to tell us what she had remembered that caused such an over-dramatic reaction. When she continues to just sit and silently stare at me,
and Nick doesn't offer to do more than swing his head back and forth between the two of us, his eyes full of confusion,
I give a big sigh and drop my head.
 

Controlling my urge to scream at her for scaring the hell out of me, then not explaining any better than that, I grit out impatiently, "Okay
?
What
? What the hell did you remember, for god's sake!”
 

Vicki gives me another of her confused looks, and I finally see the moment her brain clicks back on. "Oh. I forgot."

Oh, for god's sake! Okay, I'm seriously beginning to think that brain of hers never does click back on. It just stays dormant all year-round. Christ!
 

"I got shit to do."
I growl at them both before turning away.
 

The irritation I feel probably isn't
all
because of Vicki. I want this to be over, not just the zombies, but Paul too. I want to sleep in a frikken bed, in a frikken house, with all my family close by.
 

I stop just inside the woods, crouch down, and wash my plate with snow. When it's clean, I allow myself a few moments to lean back against the tree and let the tears flow freely. After I run through the emotions one by one – guilt, fear, heartache, homesickness, and feeling sorry for myself – I end on anger.

I'm angry at myself for being the oldest one here, but feel as if I'm the youngest, angry for being so weak and so damned scared...and I'm angry that I'm squatting in a snow drift and now my ass is wet and freezing.

Enough of this shit.

I rub snow on my face to erase the tears and to try to hide the redness, then I head back to camp. Apparently, I wasn't supposed to come back so soon, if Nick's '
go to hell
' look is anything to go by, which he gives me just after Vicki slurps her tongue back out of his mouth, giggles, and reluctantly pulls away from him to go wash their own dishes.
 

I give him a look to let him know I'm sorry, but he just glares in response and storms into the woods.

Being me, I can't just let it go, so I call after him, “Sorry, Nicky! I'd normally recommend a cold shower, but since that's not possible, try shoving some snow down those rather tight pants of yours.”

His response?

“Screw you, bitch!”

Canada, leave it alone.

“
Sorry, but you're a little too young for me.”
 

I just can't resist.
 

I hear him mumble a response, but all I catch is the last word, which – again – is “bitch."

Damn, that boy really needs to lighten up. I'm so thankful I have such an easy-going, calm, and pleasant attitude.

Yes, I'm totally being sarcastic.

I hop to the back of the truck to load up the items we no longer need, and close the back door. Then I lean against the truck and look down the side of the mountain, staring at the red pickup that is halfway up the mountain for several seconds before I remember what that particular truck represents...

Paul.

Danger.

Death!

We got away...barely. The truck had almost caught up to us when we became stuck in a thick pile of snow, but we managed to get free just in time. That was the scariest frikken ride I'd ever been on, and I swore I would never do it again, but again I did...and again, and again. It's been three weeks since that night. Three very long, cold, scary weeks. We've had to run six times because of that damn truck and Paul, who I still don't know what the hell looks like, because the damn truck windows are tinted dark black.

On top of all that, I ended up getting the flu, and I'm exhausted―No! Screw that. I'm more than exhausted. I'm dead. My body told me to screw off a few nights ago. Seriously. I'm stuck inside the backseat of the truck, lying down, unable to move without throwing my guts up.

At first, Vicki and Nick were both highly concerned, and took very good care of me. But going on my third day, Nick is becoming irritated with me. Apparently, the dumbshit thinks I'm doing this on purpose!

To be fair, I know he's really worried about me, I can see it in his eyes once in awhile – and he's scared too. He has a huge responsibility to protect us, that – thanks to me – has been entirely thrown onto his still too-young shoulders. And he covers up that fear and stress with a very bad attitude.

He reminds me of someone else who does that same thing. Can't think of who at the moment.

He and Vicki have gotten
very
close, especially at night when they think I'm asleep. Lord knows, I wish I were! But the moments of happiness I see on both their faces now, makes the uncomfortable and awkward night noises I'm forced to listen to, worth it.
 

This morning, five days since I first got sick, I woke up feeling a little better. I had found the package of crackers and jar of cheese I'd put inside the door pocket when Jake and I were heading to Tennessee and thought maybe if I try easing myself back into the eating thing, I might be able to get better faster. Especially since the cracker trick is supposed to work when you're pregnant.

Yep, I'm almost positive that's the problem. I spent most of last night thinking about the possibility. Several things lead me to this conclusion, such as, I haven't had "Eve's Curse" for a while, I've been so sick – and I don't think it's just the flu as we all thought, even though I am sure I
did
have the flu on top of this too – plus, the fact that I haven't had a birth control pill since the whole zombie-thing started.
 

Now, assuming I
am
pregnant, here's the big question...
whose
is it? Will's, or Jake's? Ah, damn! This same thing happened on my favorite TV series, The Walking Dead, which I was addicted to before the real-life zombie-shit happened. And look how
that
turned out! I hated Lori, I really did. But, hopefully, I don't end up like her.
 

Yeah, so I didn't get much sleep last night, between my own thoughts and listening to the Nickster back there gettin' jiggy with it with Vicki. I'm
so
ready to get out of this damn truck. I
need
to get out of this damn truck.
 

After giving my stomach a few minutes to absorb the crackers, I slowly ease myself into a sitting position then stop to take a brief rest while I wait for everything to stop spinning. Then I finally, cautiously, get out of the truck. I can see both Vicki and Nick dead asleep in the very back. Since they've been spending more time on
top
of each other than side by side, they didn't need as much room to lay down, and I was moved to the middle seating area so – if in the event we had to leave fast – I wouldn't be in the way up front if Nick had to jump in the driver's seat.
 

But seeing them
both
asleep? Oh yeah, that pisses me off. One of them should have been awake. We could have been found, captured, and/or killed by Paul.
 

I slam the door as hard as I can, knowing it would wake them both up in one hell of a panic.

Too bad!

Sure enough, I hear two almost identical in pitch screams come from the vehicle, then I watch as they scramble out of the truck, both of them naked as the day they were born.

I lean against a tree across the clearing from the truck, with my arms crossed and a smirk on my face.

I'm not embarrassed or ashamed at their nakedness, why would I be after all I'd heard and accidentally glimpsed whenever I tried to sit up over the last few days?

The two teens stop in their tracks when they finally catch sight of me, and Vicki screeches before throwing an arm across her breasts, and with the other hand, tries to cover her lower area. Nick just stands with his hands on his hips, obviously quite comfortable with his manhood...or it could be because he's so pissed off that he just doesn't care.

"What the
hell
do you think you're doing? Are you fucking
crazy
?" he shouts in anger.
 

Yep. I'd say he's clearly pissed off.

I remain in the same position, but slowly begin to nod my head in answer to his question, my grin getting bigger.

"Christ! I could have shot you, damn it!" he continues ranting.

I laugh as I drop my arms and move away from the tree.

"And exactly
where
are you keeping that gun, Nick?" I raise my eyebrows at him as I look him up and down, give them both a shit-eating grin, then disappear into the woods to empty my aching bladder.
 

Over the last week, I'd relied almost completely on their help to make it behind a bush or tree so that I could go to the bathroom, then Vicki would have to stay and make sure I didn't fall over. It's a relief to be able to take care of myself again.

When I get back, the teens are both dressed and Nick has the fire started. Vicki is preparing breakfast, so I grab some snow and throw it into a large cooking pot until it's almost hot. Then I contemplate the consequences of trying to hop around with a heavy, steaming hot, water-filled pot, and finally decide to suck it up and ask Nick to help me. He bitches, but carries it to the other side of the truck where I wash myself and change into clean clothes the second he's out of sight.

Not as satisfying as a shower, but it's better than nothing.
 

When I finish and return to the fire, Vicki hands me a tin plate with...
I don't know what the hell it is, to be honest. But it doesn't look horrible.
After a hesitant bite
, it doesn't taste horrible either. I still don't know what it is, and personally, I don't give a damn. It's food, and I need it...badly!
 

I'm halfway through the mystery meal when Nick clears his throat. I look up and over to him, as he sits across the fire. Vicki is sitting so close she's practically on his lap, which is where you can usually find her. She looks intently at Nick as well, both of us realizing Mr. Silent really only ever talks when it's important.

"Canada, I realize you were just trying to be funny the way you woke us up, but that shit better not happen again. You―"

I interrupt him, my eyes shooting fire and ice-daggers at his head, "You just wait
one
damn minute and shut the
hell
up, Nick. I wasn't trying to be
funny
, I was fucking
pissed
. What the hell were you
both
doing asleep? And don't even
try
putting that blame on me, you know damn well I couldn't do it, being as damn sick as I was. Holy
hell
! We could have
all
been killed!"
 

Nick clamps his mouth shut knowing I'm right, but that doesn't stop him from giving me his stare of death. Vicki drops her head and wisely keeps her mouth shut.

I stare Nick down until he too drops his head.

That's right, Nicky-baby. You're not winning
this
battle of evil eyes.
 

"Now. We need to come up with a better plan than this running around in the mountains shit. I'm cold, I'm tired, I'm pretty sure I'm pregnant, I need a shower, and a real bed."

Vicki and Nick both gasp, and Vicki's plate slips from her hands to the ground, making a loud metallic bang and clatter on the rocks below her. I tried to slip the pregnancy part in subtly, but I've never been very good at being subtle.

"You...you're
pregnant
? Who?" Vicki's mouth falls open just before she whips her head around to stare at Nick in shock.
 

Both Nick and I realize what idiot thought had popped into her head at the same time. He furiously shakes his head, repeating no, over and over, but unable to say anything else.