Will to Survive (25 page)

But business before pleasure.

I did as much as anybody else to help that neighborhood survive. I deserve some of the spoils from my efforts. Right now I have hundreds of mouths to feed. I demand some of the food that is being grown. My expectation is that a quantity of food will be left on the 403 on the bridge crossing the small overpass near Mavis Road at noon Monday, five days from when you receive this letter. I don't want much, just enough to feed a hundred men for one month. I'll leave that exact quantity up to good old Ernie to figure out.

If you decide not to do this, then I'll be forced to do something else. Those two poor little orphans you inherited today, well, I can make a lot more of them appear on your doorstep. Matter of fact, I can make two or three hundred of them appear. It's not hard to find people to kill. I'll send the surviving children your way, and I know that you're all such good people that you won't turn them away. Your choice now—you can feed my men or you can feed orphans. You decide. I figure with Herb gone it's probably your mother and you making all the decisions. Does the committee still think they're in charge?

I'd like to guarantee you that I won't attack the people bringing out the food, but you know my word isn't always the best. Besides, there are lots of other little nasties out here in the world, so make sure you send enough guards to take care of my food. I expect that you will be the one at the lead of this procession, Little Prince. I want you to lead this expedition—lead your subjects. I want you to be on the ground, not up in the air. I want you to clip your wings at least for a day. If I even see a plane in the air—either the Cessna or the flying lawn mower—then our little deal is off and I'll move on to the next step.

Your Pen Pal,
Brett

P.S. Don't even think about poisoning the food. I'll make sure to have a couple of the women and children we have as captives sample everything first.

P.P.S. Send Lori my love. Tell her that now I know you two have broken up I think about her often and it won't be too long before those thoughts become more than thoughts. Monday at noon will come sooner than you think.

I let the letter tumble from my hands onto the floor. If anything, I just felt numb.

“I don't know how he could do these things,” my mother said grimly. I could see tears pooling in her eyes.

“I do,” I said. “I understand him.”

“He's not human—he's just an animal.”

“He's more human than he is animal. Animals only kill to survive, to protect their young,” I said. “Humans are the only ones who kill for pleasure.”

“Only monsters kill for pleasure.”

A monster, was that what he was? Could I ever become a monster?

“We'll radio over to talk to your father and Herb,” my mother said.

Thanks to a huge effort by electrical engineers at each of the communities, we were now connected by shortwave radio to the island as well as to the refinery and hospital.

“I don't think you should do that,” I said. “They need to focus on what they're doing. Besides, it isn't like they can do anything about it now. They'll be back tomorrow, and we have five days before we have to act,” I said.

I bent down and picked up the letter. I folded the pages over and put them back in the envelope, careful again of the stains.

“I should take that,” my mother said.

“In a bit. I want to look at it again.”

“Word has already been sent to the judge and Howie. They'll be here shortly. I don't know if there's any point in sharing the news with anyone else right now. I'll need you to show them the letter when they arrive.”

I nodded. “Sounds good. I'm just going to go upstairs and lie down for a minute.”

“Are you all right?” She reached out to touch my arm.

I tried to smile back at her. “If I was all right, then you would have other things to worry about! I just need to go crash for a minute, that's all.”

She pulled me in for a hug. “It's going to be all right.”

I nodded again, and that seemed to reassure her.

I went up the stairs to my room and closed the door behind me. I started to flop on the bed but then felt a wave of anxiety flow over me. I slid the desk against the door. Next, I looked in my closet and finally glanced under the bed. Nothing. I lay back on the bed and it groaned under my weight.

The envelope was still in my hands. This time I didn't care about the dried blood. I already had blood on my hands, and there was more to come no matter what we did.

Pulling the letter out, I stared at the words without reading them. It still looked like the homework of a sixth-grade kid instead of the manifesto of a monster.

And he
was
a monster—a monster I had to kill. And I had to do it without hesitation, without that split second of doubt, without thinking of him as a person. Then I realized that was the way Brett killed. No doubt, no remorse, no second thoughts. In order to kill him, to kill the monster, I'd have to be a monster, too. I'd have to join him. Not just for my own sake, but for the people of this neighborhood and beyond. I'd have to do it for those parents who wouldn't be killed, those children who wouldn't be orphaned.

And, strangely, maybe most of all I had to do it for Brett. There had to be some small part of him that was still human, still talking to him, a little voice bubbling up from below. He could suppress it, but he couldn't kill it completely. And that little voice knew that he needed to be destroyed.

I'd do it for Brett as well.

 

24

My dad and Herb arrived back first thing in the morning, excited by the prospect of new partnerships. But their excitement quickly turned to shock when an emergency committee meeting was called.

Judge Roberts read the letter out loud, then put it down on the table. There was stunned silence.

Brett had managed the feat of not being here but dominating the room. He would have liked that.

“This is just so awful, like a terrible nightmare,” Councilwoman Stevens said, her voice cracking over the last few words.

I could tell she wasn't the only one close to tears. Herb, of course, looked like Herb—no reaction. I tried to mirror his blank expression.

“How are the two little children doing?” the judge asked.

“They're doing the best that can be expected,” Mr. Peterson said. “They're staying with us.”

“That's very kind of you,” the judge offered.

“Kind or not, there wasn't much choice. My wife insisted, and now they won't let her leave their sight,” he said.

“I'm glad they're being cared for,” Herb said, “but we need to focus on the problem at hand.”

“Yes, what are we going to do?” Ernie asked. “Do you want me to calculate how much food they want, get it together?”

“I think it would be wise for you to organize that end just in case we decide to give in to his demands,” the judge said.

“I can do that,” Ernie said. “It's unnerving to have him mention me in the letter.” He paused and then looked at me guiltily. “Not that it wouldn't be worse for Adam … much worse.”

“It's difficult for all of us,” I said.

“So what do we do now?” Mr. Peterson asked.

“There appear to be only two choices. Either we give in and meet his demands or we don't,” Herb said.

“And if we don't, then he'll kill more people, send us more orphans,” Councilwoman Stevens said. “If we can believe him, if he'd actually follow through with his threat.”

“He'll follow through,” I said, and everybody looked at me.

“Adam is right, he will do it,” Herb said.

“Then we have no choice,” the councilwoman said.

“We always have a choice,” Herb said. “If we allow Brett to dictate our decisions, then we're lost.”

“So you're saying we shouldn't give him the food?” the judge asked.

“I'm not saying that either. Simply refusing whatever he wants is also allowing him to decide for us.”

“Then what are you saying?” my father asked.

“I'm saying that we need to weigh the alternatives and make a decision that's in our best interests,” Herb replied.

“In the interests of us or the people he's going to kill out there?” my mother asked.

“We can't be responsible for the lives of everybody. We've become bigger, stronger, and more capable, but we're still just a lifeboat. We still can sink in the swells,” Herb said.

“Herb's right,” Ernie said. “We can only do so much. Our supplies are better but still limited.”

“If nothing else, I have to give him credit,” Herb said.

“Credit?” my mother asked incredulously. “For being a monster?”

“Yes, for being the monster that thought this through. Not just that he asked for something that was realistic but the way he went about it.”

“Murdering parents in front of their children is something he deserves credit for?” the judge questioned.

“Not the action, but the thought behind it. I underestimated him. Up to this point I thought he was only capable of blunt, brute force. This is different. He thought about who we are, what we stand for, and he decided to use our kindness, our commitment to do the right thing, against us. His plan is subtle, well thought through, and almost impossible to defend against.”

“Almost impossible?” Howie asked.

“Okay, maybe completely impossible to defend against. This threat is effective only because of what we believe in. What would Brett do if we threatened to murder innocent people?”

“We'd never do that,” the councilwoman said.

“Of course we wouldn't, and he knows that,” Herb said. “But even if he believed we would, how would he react? Would he give us something to stop us?”

“Of course not!” my mother said.

“Because
he
doesn't care. He knows
we
do. For all of that I give him credit. It's important to know your enemy, and he knows us.”

“While his venom is aimed at everybody, he certainly has a strong hatred of Adam,” Mr. Peterson said.

“That hatred would be equally strong, if not stronger, if he knew I was alive,” Herb said. “In part he only put this plan forward because he knew that if I were alive I would oppose giving in to his demands. He believes you are vulnerable to such a threat in my absence.”

“So you are of the opinion that we should ignore him?” the judge said.

“Ignoring him is impossible, but I think that giving in is unwise.”

“We have to make a decision based on weighing all of the consequences of both options,” my mother said. “The option of ignoring him is clear. It will cause people to be killed.”

“As will giving in,” Herb said

“If we choose to comply, it will strengthen him,” Howie added.

“He can use that food to attract more people to his side, to bolster his position as a leader. Brett as a leader of a larger group will ultimately cause many, many more deaths, perhaps even in this neighborhood.”

“You still think he's going to attack?” Howie asked.

Herb was silent a moment, rubbing his temples. “It's a question not of if, but of when and how. His hatred has no boundaries. He is capable of all manners of evil.”

“But if we don't comply, you believe he will carry out his threat. That more newly created orphans will appear at our gates,” Howie said.

“Probably.”

“And what will we do when they appear?” the judge asked.

“If we don't take them, they will most certainly perish,” Herb said.

“Then we have to take them in,” my mother said.

“But taking them in will only cause him to send us more. He'll only stop when we don't take any of them into our community,” Herb said. “When we show we won't give in and we won't react.”

“Then when children like the ones we took in yesterday appear outside the wall … we watch them die … or simply let them wander off,” Howie said. “I don't think my guards could handle that. I don't think I could handle that.”

“We could always just shoot them and put them out of their misery,” my mother said.

Everybody turned to her in shock.

“Sorry. I am being painfully, awfully facetious,” she said. “I just don't see any way out of this.”

“There is no good answer,” Herb said. “Only the answer we have to choose … together. Shall we put this to a vote, then?”

His suggestion was greeted by silence and people looking down at the table.

“It's just that usually we're able to find consensus,” Councilwoman Stevens said.

“I don't think there's going to be consensus on this one,” Howie said.

“I believe Howie is correct,” the judge said. “And delaying it will not make it any less difficult. The strength of the committee is that no one person is ultimately responsible.”

“I think people know which way I'm going to vote,” Herb said.

Herb had spoken with such confidence. There was no shaking in his hands or even the hint of a quiver in his voice. It was like the urgency of the meeting had revitalized him.

“I am opposed to giving in to this extortion,” Herb said.

“And I can't see any choice but to meet the demands,” Councilwoman Stevens said. “To not do so would be to cause the deaths of many people. I can't have that on my conscience.”

“I'm voting that way as well,” Howie said. “Give him the food, at least this one time.”

“This is a painful decision,” the judge said, “but I am opposed to giving in, even this once. We have to stand strong.”

Each person in turn voted—Mr. Peterson and my father voting to give the food—and Mr. Nicholas and Ernie voting against. Dr. Morgan voted for giving the food and my mother against. It was a tie vote.