WILLEM (The Witches of Wimberley Book 1) (26 page)

As I sat there, nursing a scotch, I could feel my anger toward her start building. She was making me feel guilty about leaving and she had no right to do that. I never promised more than I had to give. Still, I needed to figure out a way to let her down easy.

I needed a plan for when and how to tell her. There was no question about the fact that I couldn’t let her start planning a party. That would be as bad as being left standing at a wedding altar. And even if I was mad at her for forgetting I’d only promised a year, I didn’t want to see her hurt like that.

Decision made.

When she said something about starting party planning, I would tell her. Christ. It was never supposed to be so complicated.

That was the first time I saw Deck Durbin’s ghost. He materialized on one of the leather sofas wearing the garb and accoutrements of a Texas Ranger.

I froze, every bit as shocked as I imagined an absolute skeptic would be.

He turned his head my direction and simply said, “No.”

I don’t think his voice was audible. His mouth moved and I heard the word in my head, but I don’t think there was actual sound. Pulling myself together, I was just about to ask what the devil he meant by, “No,” when he disappeared.

Even though I had hoped to see the highwayman’s ghost sometime during my year in Wimberley, I was unprepared for a personal visit and especially not in my personal sanctuary. It felt a little like my life had been breached and I resented it.

“So you want the last word, huh?” I said to thin air. “Well, you had the first, last, and only word, but you suck at communicating!”

I stared at the sofa for several minutes thinking he might have a response, but I remained the sole occupant of the room, corporeal or otherwise.

Seventeen days. That’s what was left of my year in paradise. I wasn’t going to be thrown out of the Garden of Eden. I was going to walk out on my own. Part of me thought that made me both idiot and ass. But the part making the decision couldn’t stand feeling caged. And a priceless museum-quality rococo cage is still a cage.

It was simple. If the door was open, I’d stay indefinitely. Indefinitely might turn into forever. Who could say? But the idea of permanent, can’t-be-undone, commitment scared the shit out of me.

Having reached my decision, I set the glass in the kitchen sink, climbed the stairs and crawled back into bed. Rave turned toward me and nestled into my side like she belonged there. Imagining sleeping alone, when I’d become so accustomed to the feel of Rave in my bed, made my heart hurt a little, but I couldn’t pay attention to such things. Those thoughts were threads that could form the net that would trap me.

Seventeen days.

I turned toward Rave and inhaled the scent of her cedar and dragonsblood shampoo. As I finally drifted off, I was thinking I’d miss that.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

I had a four day reprieve in the sense that I didn’t have to tell Rave outright that I was leaving at the end of my contract. It wasn’t a carefree four days because she kept asking me what was wrong. Jesus. No wonder I never got an acting job. I sucked at acting.

On the fifth day we went down into town for greasy burgers and greasier fries.

“Harmony wants to host our one-year party. We don’t have to have everybody like last time. We could ask just a few people if you want. Also, you had said something about going to see your family. We could do that right after if you want. Take the trip we talked about. Go through New Orleans. Drive along the coast. Stop at the Hard Rock in Biloxi and gamble a little. What do you think?”

What did I think?

I thought that sounded like heaven. I had to beat back an image of driving along the shore at Pass Christian with the Boxster’s top down, Rave’s hair blowing in the breeze. I’d have to be a fool to turn that down, a fool or some guy who was so paranoid about being boxed in that he was willing to give up everything for freedom.

What was that line from Bobby Mcgee?
Freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose.

Bottom line was that I was more afraid of closing all the doors on all the possibilities life had to offer than I was of living without Rave.

Looking down at her burger basket, I could see that she was almost finished.

“Come on,” I said. “I have something to tell you and I don’t want to talk about it in here.”

A line formed between her brows, but she said, “Okay.”

That was Rave. She was agreeable unless something was a ten with her.

We walked out to the parking lot in silence. When we’d closed the doors to the Jeep, she said, “What is it?”

I looked over at her, sitting behind the wheel. So beautiful. I didn’t want to tell her, but I didn’t want to lead her on and leave like a thief in the night either. She deserved better. She deserved to be told straight up.

“I promised a year. And a year is all I have to give.” Her lips parted and I heard a tiny gasp. Her eyes were wide, searching mine, and I was afraid she wasn’t breathing. “Rave. I’m sorry. It’s not you. You’re perfect. It’s just that I…”

My hand was in midair, reaching over to stroke her cheek and console her, when she slapped it away. The expression on her face changed from heartbroken to furious in the blink of an eye.

“Do not touch me. And don’t call me that, either. If you’ve made your decision and you know you’re not staying, I want you to go now.”

“What? Wait a minute. I still have twelve days.”

“You have what I give you. This car. Your clothes. Five thousand dollars. And no memories of ever having been here.”

“But…”

“No talking, Willem. I never want to hear your voice again.”

I closed my mouth and faced forward.

Rave pulled out her phone and speed dialed while she was driving.

“Hi,” I heard her say. “Are you home?” Pause. “Willem won’t be staying when our year is up.” Pause. “Yes. He’s sure.” Pause. “I’m dropping him off at your house in five minutes. I’ll have Ed pack his things and deliver them with the car and some traveling money. You do the rest.” Pause. “Yeah. I’m fine.” She ended the call and tossed the phone into the cup holder.

This was not how I thought things would go, but maybe she was right. Maybe it was better to pull the Bandaid off quick.

I said nothing as we passed the turn to our house, but it did make my heart hurt - the idea of never seeing our home again…

Rave pulled up in front of Raider’s house. Staring straight ahead, she said, “Get out.”

“Rave, I…”

“OUT!” she yelled, leaning over me to open the passenger door. Clearly, she wasn’t kidding.

Again, this was not how I pictured this. I’d imagined a lengthy goodbye with lingering kisses, maybe a few tears. This was not the way it was supposed to go.

I pushed the passenger door all the way open and got out. Before I closed the door, I bent down and said, “I’m sorry.”

She took off without waiting for me to close the door. I stood on the driveway and watched until she disappeared around the bottom of the hill, out of sight. The door opened behind me.

“Come in, Will. We have a few things to talk about. Raider will be home shortly.”

Raider. He was probably going to finish the job he started in the river the day I tipped him over.

I turned around. I’d never seen Harmony look sad and it didn’t make me feel good, knowing I was the one who’d put that look on her face.

Without a word I climbed the steps and went inside. I followed her to the morning room and sat at the glass top table.

“You want something to drink?” she asked.

“Uh, no. We just ate at the tavern. I’m good.”

“Well, let’s get started then. First of all, you should know that you have the infamy of being the first and
only
contest winner to ever leave at the end of his one year contract.”

Since there was nothing to say to that, I said nothing.

“When Ravish’s man arrives with the car and your things, you’ll be escorted to the gates. You have from now until the time you cross the city limits to change your mind. Once you drive past the Wimberley city limits, you will have no memory of anything that has happened since before you took the card with the contest number on it. Do you understand? Is this what you want?”

That was such a complicated question. “It’s really
not
what I want, Harmony, but it’s what I have to do.”

“Alright then. I’ll leave you alone. If you need anything to eat or drink, you know the way to the kitchen.”

She left me to the silence and solitude of the morning room in the afternoon. Since the sun was overhead, it was less bright, but not less beautiful. I was thinking about all the things I would miss, when the ghost appeared, standing across the table from where I sat.

“Willem Draiocht. You shall not leave.”

He ‘spoke’ in an accent that was English, but not like any I’d heard.

“Is that what you meant when you said, ‘No’, before?”

“Leaving Ravish Wimberley would be a grave error in judgment. Are you dead set on walking the hallways of hell with me?”

“I can’t stay.”

“You cannot leave.”

He vanished after that repeated pronouncement, just as someone from the kitchen popped her head in.

“Can I bring you something while you wait, Mr. Draiocht?”

“No. Nothing. Thank you.”

She hadn’t been gone a full minute before I heard Raider’s heavy boot stomp coming toward the morning room.

“Will! Goddamnit. What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

He didn’t look any happier than Harmony.

“I can’t stay, Raider.”

“Why the fuck not?”

The Voice was screaming that same question at me, over and over. “I can’t live behind a locked door.”

He shook his head. “What does that mean?”

“If I promise to stay in a permanent no-way-out relationship with Ravish, I might as well be a prisoner at Huntsville.”

He looked at me like I was certifiable. “Huntsville? There’s not a single guy in Huntsville who wouldn’t do
anything
to trade places with you. Don’t compare your life here to prison. That’s ridiculous.” He ran a hand through his hair. “What about your friends? Forget that. What about Rave? Don’t you care about breaking her heart? Don’t you love her?”

“Yes. I care about her and I don’t like breaking her heart. But no, I don’t believe in love.”

“You don’t believe in love.” His repetition was dripping with derision. “Well, wake up, fool. It just so happens that love believes in you. That thing that you’re feeling right now? The pull that says you’d like to kick your own ass for hurting her? That’s love. When you go to Austin to take your little classes and can’t wait to get back to her? That’s love. When you can’t imagine ever fucking another woman no matter what the circumstances? That’s love.

“The way you looked at her when you sang that old song on her birthday? You wouldn’t find one person who was in that room who wouldn’t swear that what they were seeing was, yeah, you guessed it. Love.”

That was probably more words than Raider had spoken in a week, but I just sat there shaking my head.

He raised his arms and let them fall to his sides. “You’re really going through with it,” he said, beginning to resign himself to the fact that I couldn’t be talked out of it. He pulled out a chair and slumped into it. “You know it’s permanent. You can’t change your mind later. If you leave, you’re gone for good. There’s no way back.”

That made my heart beat faster. I hated the idea of no way back. That was another kind of permanent that was unappealing, but I’d made up my mind. “I know,” I whispered.

Raider sat without speaking for half an hour then rose and left the room without another word. Another twenty minutes after that, someone was sent to tell me that my things were waiting for me outside.