William Shakespeare: The Complete Works 2nd Edition (262 page)

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Authors: William Shakespeare

Tags: #Drama, #Literary Criticism, #Shakespeare

BOOK: William Shakespeare: The Complete Works 2nd Edition
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SHALLOW (to Sir John) Nay, you shall see my orchard, where, in an arbour, we will eat a last year’s pippin of mine own grafting, with a dish of caraways, and so forth—come, cousin Silence—and then to bed.
SIR JOHN Fore God, you have here a goodly dwelling and a rich.
SHALLOW Barren, barren, barren; beggars all, beggars all,
Sir John. Marry, good air.—Spread, Davy; spread, Davy.
⌈Davy
begins to spread the table
⌉
 
Well said, Davy.
SIR JOHN This Davy serves you for good uses; he is your serving-man and your husband.
SHALLOW A good varlet, a good varlet, a very good varlet, Sir John.—By the mass, I have drunk too much sack at supper.—A good varlet. Now sit down, now sit down. (
To Silence
) Come, cousin.
SILENCE Ah, sirrah, quoth-a, we shall
(
sings
)
Do nothing but eat, and make good cheer,
And praise God for the merry year,
When flesh is cheap and females dear,
And lusty lads roam here and there
So merrily,
And ever among so merrily.
 
SIR JOHN There’s a merry heart, good Master Silence! I’ll give you a health for that anon.
SHALLOW Good Master Bardotph!—Some wine, Davy.
DAVY ⌈
to Sir john
⌉ Sweet sir, sit. ⌈
To Bardolph
⌉ I’ll be with you anon. ⌈
To Sir John
⌉ Most sweet sir, sit. Master page, good master page, sit.
⌈
All but Davy sit. Davy pours wine
⌉
 
Proface! What you want in meat, we’ll have in drink; but you must bear; the heart’s all.
SHALLOW Be merry, Master Bardolph and my little soldier there, be merry.
SILENCE (
sings
)
Be merry, be merry, my wife has all,
For women are shrews, both short and tall,
’Tis merry in hall when beards wags all,
And welcome merry shrovetide.
 
Be merry, be merry.
JOHN I did not think Master Silence had been a man of this mettle.
SILENCE Who, I? I have been merry twice and once ere now.
Enter Davy
⌈
With a dish of apples
⌉
 
DAVY There’s a dish of leather-coats for you.
SHALLOW Davy!
DAVY Your worship! I’ll be with you straight. ⌈
To Sir John
⌉ A cup of wine, sir?
SILENCE ⌈
sings
⌉
A cup of wine
That’s brisk and fine,
And drink unto thee, leman mine,
And a merry heart lives long-a.
 
SIR JOHN Well said, Master Silence.
SILENCE And we shall be merry; now comes in the sweet o’th’ night.
SIR JOHN Health and long life to you, Master Silence! He drinks
SILENCE Fill the cup and let it come. I’ll pledge you a mile to th’ bottom.
SHALLOW Honest Bardolph, welcome! If thou want’st anything and wilt not call, beshrew thy heart! (
To the Page
) Welcome, my little tiny thief, and welcome indeed, too!-I’ll drink to Master Bardolph, and to all the cavalieros about London.
He drinks
 
DAVY I hope to see London once ere I die.
BARDOLPH An I might see you there, Davy!
SHALLOW By the mass, you’ll crack a quart together, ha, will you not, Master Bardolph?
BARDOLPH Yea, sir, in a pottle-pot.
SHALLOW By God’s liggens, I thank thee. The knave will stick by thee, I can assure thee that; a will not out; ’tis true-bred.
BARDOLPH And I’ll stick by him, sir.
SHALLOW Why, there spoke a king! Lack nothing, be merry!
One knocks at the door within
 
Look who’s at door there, ho! Who knocks?
⌈
Exit Davy
⌉
 
⌈
Silence drinks
⌉
 
SIR JOHN ⌈
to Silence
⌉ Why, now you have done me right!
SILENCE ⌈
sings
⌉ Do me right,
And dub me knight—
Samingo.
 
Is’t not so?
SIR JOHN ’Tis so.
SILENCE Is’t so?—Why then, say an old man can do somewhat.
⌈
Enter Davy
⌉
 
DAVY An’t please your worship, there’s one Pistol come from the court with news.
SIR JOHN From the court? Let him come in.
Enter Pistol
 
How now, Pistol?
PISTOL Sir John, God save you.
SIR JOHN What wind blew you hither, Pistol?
PISTOL
Not the ill wind which blows no man to good.
Sweet knight, thou art now one of the greatest men in
this realm.
SILENCE By‘r Lady, I think a be—but goodman Puff of Bar’son.
PISTOL Puff?
Puff in thy teeth, most recreant coward base!—
Sir John, I am thy Pistol and thy friend,
And helter-skelter have I rode to thee,
And tidings do I bring, and lucky joys,
And golden times, and happy news of price.
SIR JOHN I pray thee now, deliver them like a man of this world.
PISTOL
A foutre for the world and worldlings base!
I speak of Africa and golden joys.
SIR JOHN
O base Assyrian knight, what is thy news?
Let King Cophetua know the truth thereof.
SILENCE ⌈
singing
⌉
‘And Robin Hood, Scarlet, and John.’
PISTOL
Shall dunghill curs confront the Helicons?
And shall good news be baffled?
Then Pistol lay thy head in Furies’ lap.
SHALLOW Honest gentleman, I know not your breeding.
PISTOL Why then, lament therefor.
SHALLOW Give me pardon, sir. If, sir, you come with news from the court, I take it there’s but two ways: either to utter them, or conceal them. I am, sir, under the King in some authority.
PISTOL
Under which king, besonian? Speak, or die.
SHALLOW
Under King Harry.
PISTOL Harry the Fourth, or Fifth?
SHALLOW
Harry the Fourth.
PISTOL A foutre for thine office!
Sir John, thy tender lambkin now is king.
Harry the Fifth’s the man. I speak the truth.
When Pistol lies, do this, (
making the fig
) and fig me,
Like the bragging Spaniard.
SIR JOHN What, is the old King dead?
PISTOL
As nail in door. The things I speak are just.
SIR JOHN Away, Bardolph, saddle my horse! Master Robert Shallow, choose what office thou wilt in the land; ’tis thine. Pistol, I will double-charge thee with dignities.
BARDOLPH O joyful day!
I would not take a knighthood for my fortune.
PISTOL What, I do bring good news?
SIR JOHN (
to Davy
) Carry Master Silence to bed.
⌈
Exit Davy with Silence
⌉
 
Master Shallow—my lord Shallow—be what thou wilt, I am fortune’s steward—get on thy boots; we’ll ride all night.—O sweet Pistol!—Away, Bardolph!
 
⌈
Exit Bardolph
⌉
 
Come, Pistol, utter more to me, and withal devise something to do thyself good. Boot, boot, Master Shallow! I know the young King is sick for me. Let us take any man’s horses—the laws of England are at my commandment. Blessed are they that have been my friends, and woe to my Lord Chief Justice.
 
PISTOL
Let vultures vile seize on his lungs also!
‘Where is the life that late I led?’ say they.
Why, here it is. Welcome these pleasant days.
Exeunt
5.4
Enter Beadles, dragging in Mistress Quickly and Doll Tearsheet
 
MISTRESS QUICKLY No, thou arrant knave! I would to God that I might die, that I might have thee hanged. Thou hast drawn my shoulder out of joint.
FIRST BEADLE The constables have delivered her over to me; and she shall have whipping-cheer, I warrant her. There hath been a man or two killed about her.
DOLL TEARSHEET Nut-hook, nut-hook, you lie! Come on, I’ll tell thee what, thou damned tripe-visaged rascal, an the child I go with do miscarry, thou wert better thou hadst struck thy mother, thou paper-faced villain.
MISTRESS QUICKLY O the Lord, that Sir John were come! He would make this a bloody day to somebody. But I pray God the fruit of her womb miscarry!
FIRST BEADLE If it do, you shall have a dozen of cushions again; you have but eleven now. Come, I charge you both go with me, for the man is dead that you and Pistol beat amongst you.
DOLL TEARSHEET I’ll tell you what, you thin man in a censer, I will have you as soundly swinged for this, you bluebottle rogue, you filthy famished correctioner! If you be not swinged, I’ll forswear half-kirtles.
FIRST BEADLE Come, come, you she knight-errant, come!
MISTRESS QUICKLY O God, that right should thus o’ercome might! Well, of sufferance comes ease.
DOLL TEARSHEET Come, you rogue, come; bring me to a justice.
MISTRESS QUICKLY Ay, come, you starved bloodhound.
DOLL TEARSHEET Goodman death, goodman bones!
MISTRESS QUICKLY Thou atomy, thou!
DOLL TEARSHEET Come, you thin thing; come, you rascal.
FIRST BEADLE Very well.
Exeunt
5.5
Enter
⌈
two
⌉
Grooms, strewing rushes
 
FIRST GROOM More rushes, more rushes!
SECOND GROOM The trumpets have sounded twice.
⌈FIRST⌉ GROOM ‘Twill be two o’clock ere they come from the coronation.
Exeunt
Enter Sir John Falstaff, Shallow, Pistol, Bardolph, and the Page
 
SIR JOHN Stand here by me, Master Robert Shallow. I will make the King do you grace. I will leer upon him as a comes by, and do but mark the countenance that he will give me.
PISTOL God bless thy lungs, good knight.
SIR JOHN Come here, Pistol; stand behind me. (
To Shallow
) O, if I had had time to have made new liveries, I would have bestowed the thousand pound I borrowed of you! But ’tis no matter; this poor show doth better; this doth infer the zeal I had to see him.
⌈SHALLOW⌉ It doth so.
SIR JOHN It shows my earnestness of affection—
PISTOL It doth so.
SIR JOHN My devotion—
PISTOL It doth, it doth, it doth.
SIR JOHN As it were, to ride day and night, and not to deliberate, not to remember, not to have patience to shift me—
SHALLOW It is most certain.
⌈SIR JOHN⌉ But to stand stained with travel and sweating with desire to see him, thinking of nothing else, putting all affairs in oblivion, as if there were nothing else to be done but to see him.
PISTOL ’Tis
semper idem, for absque hoc nihil est: ’tis all in
every part.
SHALLOW ’Tis so indeed.
PISTOL
My knight, I will inflame thy noble liver,
And make thee rage.
Thy Doll, and Helen of thy noble thoughts,
Is in base durance and contagious prison,
Haled thither
By most mechanical and dirty hand.
Rouse up Revenge from ebon den with fell Alecto’s
snake,
For Doll is in. Pistol speaks naught but truth.
SIR JOHN I will deliver her.

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