Wind Shadow (17 page)

Chapter Twelve

W
hat a dinner!” Annie plopped down uninvited beside Silky on the sand. “I do believe I may just have to move down here to Homer and open up a Jeep dealership, just so that I can dig clams and catch fresh crab for my dinner every night.” She drew her knees up and rested her chin on one. “Speaking of dinner, honey, you should have eaten.” Giving Silky a motherly stare of stern, but loving, concern, she said, “Okay, I’m here. Let’s talk.”

Silky had been drawing aimless pictures in the sand with a stick. She’d purposely searched out this quiet little cove to be alone, although what good it was doing to be alone continuously was anybody’s guess. All the final day of the cruise, she had stayed in her room, pleading
seasickness. She scraped the stick over her pensive doodling, hoping that Annie hadn’t seen Wade’s name scrawled over and over in the wet sand.

Dropping the stick, she turned to Annie and leaned back on her hands. “Look—I’d really rather not talk right now, if you don’t mind.”

“I know that.” She tugged on her ear, keeping her eyes leveled on her friend. “Since when has that ever stopped me before?”

“Never.” Silky sighed, lifting her eyes to scan the early-evening sky above the ocean. She squinted out across Cook Inlet toward St. Augustine, a sometimes active volcano. It was sleeping quietly now, and she envied it its peace. “What’s the burning question this time?”

Annie cleared her throat, drawing Silky’s eyes. “You weren’t really seasick yesterday, were you?”

Silky shook her head. “I just had some thinking to do.”

“Did you?”

“Did I think?” Silky shrugged. “For all the good it did me, yes.”

Annie pulled on her upper lip with her teeth. “Uh. You caught Rex with Riva last night, didn’t you?”

Silky felt a stab of pain in the pit of her stomach at the reminder, and she jerked her head around to stare at her friend. “My God! Did Wade tell you?”

Annie shook her head. “Did Wade know, too?
Rexie-boy isn’t very subtle, is he?” Annie dropped a sympathetic hand to Silky’s shoulder. “Sorry, kid. No. Wade didn’t tell me. George did. Poor old sap—he was pretty drunk and needed a sturdy shoulder to cry on.”

“I think I understand how he felt.” Silky stood up, feeling the need to move, uncomfortable with the vivid memory of Rex and Riva together. Turning away, she wiped her hands on her shorts and began to walk toward the camp’s big bonfire.

“Honey—” Silky could hear Annie shuffle to her feet. “I’ve always hated those goody-goody types who say ‘I told you so,’ but the whole reason I brought you on this trip was for you to see for yourself what a clunker that guy is.” She reached over and slid a comforting arm about Silky’s shoulders. “So now you know, and you’ve been thinking. What’d you come up with?”

Bitter amusement lifted Silky’s lips with Annie’s question. “Well, considering your unusual sense of humor, I think you’ll get a real kick out of this.” She looked out over the water to watch a sea bird swoop down to skim the ocean’s surface.

Annie honored her friend’s silence while she, too, watched the bird dive, but with its graceful arc skyward again, Annie planted her hands firmly on her narrow hips. “Silk, the only thing that would make me laugh right now is if you said you were gonna kick old Rexie around a couple of continents.”

“No. It’s not nearly so sensible as that.” Dropping her eyes to the sand, Silky watched a wave recede and lose itself in the churning sea. “I’m in love with Wade Banning. I—I didn’t realize it until last night when I finally knew that Rex and I were through.”

“You’re in love …” The sentence disappeared as Annie’s mouth froze in a startled “oh.” But, in the old Annie Toone, “grab life by the tail and hold on” fashion, she bounced right back. “You love Wade Banning?” She grabbed Silky by the wrists. “Well, give me a crystal ball and call me psychic, honey.
It worked!
”

Silky looked down at her trapped arms and then lifted her startled gaze back to Annie’s radiant face. “What worked?”

“This trip, dummy. Why do you think I put you through this—I mean besides the fact that I wanted you to discover how rotten an apple Rex is?”

“I imagine it was because you’re a sadist. Would you mind letting go? My hands are numb.”

“Oops, sorry.” She dropped Silky’s arms without much notice. “Besides
that
, smart aleck! I got you here to meet Wade. I just knew you two would like each other. And God knows, you deserved to meet somebody better than Rex. Oh, I know that there really aren’t any men in the world worth the space they take up. But I think Wade’s better than most.” She put both hands on Silky’s cheeks, drawing her face up until the two women were almost nose to nose. “But you’re
too chicken to tell him how you feel, aren’t you? That’s your problem, isn’t it?”

“Tell him?” Silky pulled away, running a shaky hand over her eyes. “Oh, Annie. I couldn’t tell him a thing like that. He’s been a friend—a good friend. Besides, he told me himself that after being rejected by his fiancée a year ago, he’s only looking for friendship—not love. I’d just embarrass us both if I told him how I feel.”

Annie leveled a highly skeptical look at Silky and grunted. “Men never set out looking for a wife, but when the right one comes along they all start begging to be taken home like puppies.” She pointed a finger at the tip of Silky’s nose. “If you want my advice, I’d say go to him and tell him you love him. You might he surprised at how he reacts to the news.”

“Oh, Annie …” Silky wailed. “I couldn’t possibly!” She spun away, unable to face her friend’s pointed stare. “The man just wants to be my friend. If he was in love with me, wouldn’t he have told me?”

“Okay, maybe you’re right. I can do a lot of things, but I can’t read men’s minds.” She folded her arms determinedly across her chest. “But, think, Silky. If you really love him like you say you do, you’ve got nothing to lose by going to him and telling him that you and Rex are
kaput.
Let him take it from there.” She snorted derisively. “Men are, on the whole, dumb creatures, but I figure Wade Banning to be a good deal smarter than most.”

Silky’s face closed in a thoughtful frown. For a long moment there was no sound but for the rushing of the waves. Then, with a deep breath, Silky nodded determinedly. “You’re right, Annie. I don’t have anything to lose.”

“And maybe Wade to gain.” Annie slanted her a crooked smile.

Silky’s mind barely caught Annie’s light remark as she clutched her hands together. Suddenly her throat had completely closed. Her whole consciousness was centered on her need to find Wade and tell him that she was through with Rex, that she was a free woman—free, only if you could call the velvet chains of her love for Wade, freedom.

Annie lifted a thumbs-up, and grinned reassuringly. “You go on and find that muscle-bound cop, honey, and I bet you ten years’ commissions that you’ll be Mrs. Wade Banning before your sunburn heals.”

“If you’re right, Annie, I promise we’ll name our first child after you.”

Annie waved the idea away. “Heck, Silk. If I’m right, I expect you two to buy your Jeeps from me for the rest of your lives. Let the kids name themselves!” She gently shoved her friend forward. “Now go on. You have a man to catch.”

With a weak smile, Silky walked away. Chewing on her lower lip, she circled the camp on leaden feet. She could see George, Riva, Rex, Leonard, Dan and Beth sitting around the roaring
bonfire, roasting marshmallows. Wade wasn’t there.

Scanning the beach south, toward the point, she saw him. As the sun settled low over the western horizon, it gave the impression that he was standing there nude, his legs braced wide as he faced the ocean. As she drew closer, she could see that he was wearing only his golden brown biking shorts, the color blending evenly with his tan. The sight of him made her breath catch in her throat. He had his hands clasped behind his back as he stood there, straight and strong, like a century-old pine.

A gust of wind caught his dark hair, and she had a tremendous urge to run her fingers through the soft curls that she had grown to love. He was a beautiful man, a tender and sensitive man. He was the man she loved. Only last night he had told her to tell him what she needed. But could he really give it to her once she told him that what she needed was his love? Her heart leaped with the hope that Annie was right. In fearful anticipation, she squared her shoulders.

Her breath was coming in short, nervous pants by the time she reached him, and she was feeling dangerously lightheaded. “Wade?” She could barely hear her own voice. When he didn’t turn around, she tried again. “Wade?” This time he did.

She sucked in a ragged breath, trying to manufacture a calm façade. It wasn’t an easy thing
to do in the face of his brooding expression. When he realized who had called, his handsome features softened in a smile. “Hi. I was wondering if you were ever going to join us again. But—considering everything—I don’t blame you for not wanting to be with the group.” His eyes were steady, watching her. “Did you get your thinking done?”

“Yes.” With enormous effort, she tried for a smile. It was a quivering failure. “I want to talk to you. Could—we?”

He lifted his chin in a half-nod. “Sure. What are friends for?”

There was that word—a word that could mean so much or so little. It made her back stiffen as she moved up to stand beside him. Motioning for them to go on around the point, away from camp, she croaked, “This way?”

With a nod, he placed a light hand at her back and began to walk in the direction she indicated. “How was dinner?” he asked conversationally.

“I—I didn’t eat. Didn’t you?”

“No, I took a walk.” He hesitated and gazed at her for a moment. Finally he said, “What did you want to talk about, Silky?” The husky warmth of his voice made her stumble to a halt. Lifting his hand from her back to her arm, he drew her to face him, his gaze filled with warm concern.

Clasping her hands together, she fought a tremendous urge to reach up and touch his handsome face. Here was a man who had never lied to her, never asked anything of her that she
wasn’t willing to give freely. He had been her friend when she’d needed one. God forbid that was all he wanted to be!

She took a deep breath, trying to build her courage. She owed him the truth. After all he’d done for her, all he’d been, he deserved to know how she felt—and now was the time to tell him. She worked hard at meeting his eyes. Deep within the vital darkness, she drew her courage. “Wade—” she began.

“
Silky!
” Rex’s shout intruded, and they both turned to see him trotting down the beach, waving. “
Hey, Silky.
Where’ve you been? I’ve got to talk to you!” He caught up to them and slid an arm about her shoulders. “Say, Banning.” He cocked his head as though he were directing Wade to leave. “You don’t mind, do you? This is important.”

The expression that came over Wade’s face was strained. With a quick, appraising glance at Silky, he asked. “Would you like me to stay?”

Yes,
oh yes she would!
She wanted him to stay forever. But there was something else she wanted, too. And that was to make sure that Rex knew once and for all that she no longer had any interest in seeing him or hearing his voice—or even his name ever again! With a slow shake of her head, she answered, “It’s all right, Wade. Rex and I need to have this talk.”

He nodded, his long lashes lifting to take in Rex’s tall frame. “Whatever you say.” Without another word, he turned away to limp back toward the camp. Silky watched him go with her
heart blocking her throat, completely forgetting Rex and the fact that his arm was slung heavily across her shoulders. When he spoke, she jumped with surprise.

“Sil, darling—”

She hissed, “Don’t call me darling! Never,
never
again in your life, Rex, dare to call me that!” She twisted out from under his arm and pushed him away. “Now! Just what do you think we could possibly have to discuss?”

“Please, Silvia. Let me explain about what happened with Riva and me.”

“Rex, I don’t care if Riva forced you into bed at gunpoint! The women you—you entertain simply don’t matter to me anymore.”

She watched as his light eyes grew wide. “You don’t mean that,” he pleaded hoarsely.

A sad, soft laugh gurgled up in her throat. “I’ve never meant anything more, Rex.” Lifting her hand to his cheek, she patted it as though he were a puppy. Silky somehow knew that this would be her last moment alone with Rex, and she was thankful that it hurt no more than it did. “Good luck, Rex.” Withdrawing her hand, she turned away. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to see a man about buying Jeeps—for the rest of his life.”

“Didn’t go last night, did it?” Annie asked in a low whisper as Silky drank from her water bottle.

Silky swallowed hard. “No, it didn’t. Whose idea was it to go on that seashell hunt until all
hours? I finally dragged myself to bed at one o’clock, without ever having a chance to get Wade alone.”

“Tough luck, Silk.” Annie squirted water on her face. “I think the hunt was George’s idea. My guess is he figured little Riva couldn’t stray very far if everybody was together and out in the open.”

Silky sighed and fastened her bottle to the bike frame. “Well, everybody was sure together! Annie, I’m going crazy—”

Annie put her fingers to Silky’s lips. “Nix the chatter, kiddo. Wade’s coming down the line. I guess this nasty head wind has finally gotten to him. “Hey, Wade?” She waved gaily.

He waved back, smiling. As he moved toward them, Silky noticed how badly he was limping, and her heart cried out to take him in her arms and comfort him. She forced her gaze to drift away, across the highway, to the cool green waters of Cook Inlet. With a finger of the Pacific stretching inland on her left, and the grand beauty of the Kenai Wildlife Refuge on her right, Silky was sorry that her mood was not more receptive to nature’s artistry.

Tightening her safety helmet strap, Annie quipped, “Say Wade, if Rexie’s going to lead us, do you mind if I hold us up a minute to take out additional accident insurance?”

Silky felt a sweet stab at the sound of Wade’s deep chuckle as Rex called back over his shoulder, “I heard that, Toone. If you don’t like the
way I do it, then you just get your tail up here and take over.”