Winds of Heaven (12 page)

 
“Well, thanks for talking anyway. I needed to bounce this off someone, or I’d go nuts,” she said, running a hand through her hair.

“I’m flattered that the confident Casey Bennett wants my opinion.”

“We both loved Julie,” Casey whispered.

“I know. It’s something you have to deal with now.”

Casey nodded and stood, stretching her back.

“So what does she look like? You have my curiosity on edge,” Niles said.

“She’s got beautiful blue eyes and soft auburn hair. And when she smiles, it lights up her face, like she’s genuinely happy.” Casey shrugged.

“But that doesn’t matter, does it?”

“Nope.” Casey picked up the loose sheets of music and shuffled them. “Liz Kennedy might be younger than I am, but she definitely has more life experience.” She stopped and laughed. Niles watched her and couldn’t help himself, he laughed along with her. It had been quite some time since he had seen Casey laugh from her heart. It was captivating.

“Now you have to tell me what has you looking so happy,” Niles said, leaning on the side of the piano. “Again.”

Casey, still grinning, continued. “Liz’s daughter, Skye. Her vocabulary is amazing. At least I think it is, but then I’m not around many three-year-olds. She’s adorable, and Liz has done a remarkable job as her mother. They’re wonderful to watch. You can see the love between them.”

She stacked the sheet music and glanced at Niles. “You’re gonna need Freud for what I’m about to say next, but she reminds me of my mother in this regard.”

Niles laughed. “You don’t need psychoanalysis for that. I met your mother, remember? She was a wonderful, kind woman who loved her daughter.”

Casey said nothing; Niles could tell she fought the tears. “That Liz reminds you of her is just fine. And you haven’t played that in ages.”

Casey looked up and frowned deeply. “What was I playing? I don’t even know.”

“You were playing that composition you never finished.”
 

“Really?” Casey asked with a laugh. “You’re right. I haven’t played that in a long time.” She fell silent for a moment as she ran her fingers over the piano top. “I-I find myself in a very foreign world now, Niles.”

Niles cocked his head and grinned. “Are you in love with this woman?”

“I-I have to say no. Only because I have no idea what really being in love is like. She was in love with Julie. I loved Julie. All of this is very strange, yet...I don’t know, it seems so natural. Why?”

“Wow. This is completely foreign for you. Tell me something. Are you talking to me because Brian and I are married?”

Casey stole a glance and nodded. “I just thought you might shed some light.”

“Well, I’d like to meet both of them. But not now,” Niles said. “You need to really think about this and you need to do it on your own. Does this woman feel anything for you?”

“Probably not. Why am I thinking about this?”
 

Niles raised an eyebrow at the helpless tone in her voice. Casey Bennett was not a helpless woman. “Honey, this is the first time in a very long time that you are feeling anything remotely close to love. I mean, usually, you’re all about control and sex and a good time and—”

“I get it, Niles,” she said with a deep frown and sat on the piano bench. “I don’t know anything of love, really.”

Niles heard the dejected tone and sat next to her. “Before I met Brian, I was quite the playboy. Most gay men are until they meet the right man. Come to think of it, men in general are.”

“So you met Brian and fell in love?”

“Yes, but I fought it tooth and nail. No one was going to pin me down even if he was the yummiest man I had ever met.”

“Yummy?”

Niles nodded and flipped the top of the keyboard open and started playing “Chopsticks.” “You need to go home and test the waters, but don’t dive in too soon. These waters could turn into a tsunami.”
 

Casey frowned and gave him a confused look. “There’s a point somewhere in that mess of an analogy, isn’t there?”

“I have no idea.”

“Hmm. Tell me,” she asked and started playing along. “What should I get a precocious three-year-old?”

“I have no idea.”

The day before she was to go home, for some reason, Casey strolled the downtown streets of Chicago, absently looking into shop windows.

“What am I doing?” She shook her head, though she knew exactly what she was doing. It was the “why” that confounded her. She stopped at a storefront window and looked at the toys. Scratching the back of her neck, she chuckled and opened the door.

“May I help you?” a woman’s voice called out.

Casey swallowed and nervously looked around. “I’m, uh, looking for a gift for a three-year-old.”

“Boy or girl?”

Casey was absently looking at the shelves of stuffed animals. “Oh, uh, girl.” She picked up a teddy bear, then replaced it.

“Birthday?” the clerk asked softy as she watched Casey.

“No, just a gift to—” Casey stopped, not knowing what to say. She gave the clerk a helpless shrug.

“To say you care?”

“Yeah. She’s adorable and cute. Smart as a whip and—”

It was then she saw it. She grinned and picked up the stuffed animal. “I’ll take this, please.”

The woman laughed as Casey followed her up to the counter. “That was fast. You must know this girl very well.”

Again, Casey shrugged and picked up the sunglasses. She laughed when she saw how small they were. “They actually make sunglasses for little kids?”

The woman laughed along. “You must not have any children or you would never have asked that.” She held her hand out and gave Casey a questioning glance.

“Well, yeah, okay. I guess these, too.” She picked up a baby rattle off the counter and gently shook it back and forth. Casey absently examined it and looked at the clerk. “This too maybe.” Casey ran her finger under her nose and avoided the grinning clerk as she rang up her purchases.

She walked out with her bag, realizing she was grinning as she walked down the crowded street. She came to an abrupt stop in front of the maternity store and raised an eyebrow. Oh, this is not a good idea, Casey, she thought. However, she cringed and braced herself as she opened the door. She met a very pregnant woman walking in at the same time. Casey could not believe how big this woman’s stomach was. She must have had an incredulous look on her face as she quickly backed out of the woman’s way; the woman glared.

“Yes, I’m huge and I’m overdue,” she said, sounding as if she were challenging Casey to comment at all.
 

Casey smiled weakly, held the door for her, and meekly followed the woman in. Once again, she had no idea what in the hell she was doing. Was she actually thinking of buying Liz something? And if so, what? “This is another bad idea, Casey,” she mumbled. When she turned to leave, she bumped into the pregnant woman.

“Oh, shit, I’m sorry,” Casey said, steadying her.

“We have to stop meeting like this,” the woman said. Casey laughed nervously. “I’m assuming you’re buying maternity clothes, though you don’t look pregnant.”

Casey blinked and stammered, “No, no, I’m not. A-a friend is. She’s pregnant, gonna have a baby.”

“Yes, that’s what usually happens when you’re pregnant.”

Casey felt the blood drain from her face as she laughed. “Yeah, well…”

“Buying something for a friend?” the woman prodded. When Casey merely nodded, the woman grinned. “Come with me.”

“Well, I…” Casey obediently followed this stranger through the small store. She stopped when they came to a chair. The woman, groaning loudly, eased into the chair. Casey offered her assistance, but the woman was already seated.

“Now how far along is she?”

“Uh…”
 
In her mind, Casey was trying to do the long math.

The women laughed. “When is she due?”

“December,” Casey answered quickly. “First week or so.”

“Hmm, okay. Dress or slacks?” the woman asked and held out her hand. “Karen.”

Casey took the offering. “Casey. And slacks, I think.” She had no clue.

“How much weight has she gained?”

“I-I have absolutely no idea.”

The woman narrowed her eyes. “This will not be easy. See all these women?”

Casey looked around the store and for the first time, noticed how many pregnant women were in there. It was amazing. “Did they bus them in?”

Karen laughed out loud. “Pick one who is the same size as…”

“Liz,” Casey replied, still looking at the women. She then saw a woman who was relatively the same size as Liz. “That woman.” She pointed to the woman in question. “I feel like a jackass.”

“Well, you should. Now knowing how much weight your partner had gained. You’re supposed to take care of her.”

“She, Liz is not my… I mean, she’s staying with me and…” She stopped, knowing she sounded ridiculous.

“Take care of her,” Karen said again. “Don’t argue with a pregnant woman. We’re all on the edge and would kill for a pint of
Häagen
Dazs
.”

Casey swallowed and nodded. What am I doing? She thought and helplessly looked around.

Chapter 8

All the way home, Casey felt sick to her stomach when she thought of her conversation with Niles. Suzette’s angry face flashed through her mind and she groaned openly. Actually, she had a good relationship with Suzette. There were no strings, no attachments, none of the trappings of emotions or jealousy. Well, this last incident showed Casey that Suzette could be the jealous type. However, Casey couldn’t blame her. If the roles were reversed, Casey would be just as irritated. Or would she? What if Suzette was seeing someone else?

“I have no idea what the hell I’m doing anymore,” Casey said as she drove. “I was happy and content, and now look at me.”

She glanced down at the wrapped packages and rolled her eyes. “What am I doing?” She let out a helpless groan and watched the white lines on the highway zoom by. She couldn’t help but compare it to her life as she knew it.

After she spent the trip arguing with herself, she pulled down her access road, smiling as the cabin and lake came into view. She actually missed all of it—the cabin, the lake, and her two houseguests.

She heard Skye’s voice as she took her luggage out of the trunk.
 

“
Cafey
...
Cafey
!”

At the sound of Skye’s happy voice, Casey grinned widely and whirled around. She saw the pint-sized human running toward her and trip. Skye let out a grunt as she dusted off her hands.

Casey ran up to her, and at the same time, Liz came running around the corner of the cabin. They both got to the groaning child at the same time. “I
faw
down.”

“Are you okay,
Shortround
?” Casey asked.

Skye nodded happily as Liz dusted off her bottom. Liz looked up at Casey and smiled. “Hi,” she said breathlessly.