Winging It (3 page)

“The thing is,” I said, choosing my words carefully, “the actual thing is, I can’t quite get my head round this angel stuff.” I wasn’t exactly lying. But I still felt like a total fraud.

Lola groaned. “I forgot. You only just got here, you poor thing. Did you whizz down a tunnel? I didn’t get a sniff of a tunnel. I felt totally cheated.”

“Uh-uh,” I said. “No tunnel. But I heard some really cosmic sounds.”

“Me too!” cried Amber, her eyes sparkling. “Isn’t it amazing how you don’t even feel scared?”

“It is actually,” I agreed. I was quite impressed at myself for being able to talk about my death in such a mature way Plus, I couldn’t help noticing Amber had a tiny blue jewel in the middle of her forehead. I wondered if it was her own personal jewel, or some kind of funky angel accessory, and if so, where you got them.

Don’t be silly, Mel
, I told myself.
You’re not staying, remember
.

We were passing a stunningly beautiful glass building. Cloud reflections skittered over its walls like playful lambs.

I stared up at the sky, open-mouthed. There wasn’t a cloud to be seen. I gawped back at the building, completely confused. “How do they DO that?”

“I have no idea,” admitted Lola.

“Hey,” said Amber brightly. “I hope we’re all staying in the same dorm!”

I stared at her. “No-one told me this was boarding school?”

Lola gave me a funny little smile. “Well, you can’t exactly go back home at nights, Melanie.”

Amber giggled. “Ooh, Lola, you’re so mean. Poor Mel. She just needs time to adjust.”

I forced a smile. Amber was a sweet girl, but I got the feeling that hanging out with her could do some serious damage to a person’s tooth enamel.

The class came to a standstill in a beautiful little courtyard, full of tropical plants. Sand and seaweed were scattered around as if left behind by the tide. A warm salty breeze blew my hair into tangles.

I noticed hammocks strung between the palm trees, their canvas bleached by the sun. I suppressed a squeak of surprise. “Is that the sea over there?” I whispered to Lola. “Is that the beach?”

This school is something else
, I thought. It almost made me wish I was attending the Academy for real, instead of just faking it while I figured out my next move.

“That’s the great thing about this city,” Lola was saying. “You’re never far from the sea.”

It had never occurred to me that Heaven might be by the sea. And I’d definitely NEVER imagined cities.

Lola hoisted herself into a hammock. “It’s great to be back,” she said.

Some of the other kids grabbed hammocks too. Flora and Ferdy casually took up advanced yoga poses under a palm tree.

I couldn’t believe the way Mr Allbright let everyone mess around in his class.
Poor lamb
, I thought. He’d got “pushover” written all over him.

Our teacher gave me an absent-minded smile. For a moment I thought he’d actually read my mind, but I decided Mr Allbright was just enjoying some private teacher-type joke.

“Right,” he said, tugging at his ear. “You’ll all be wanting to go and settle into your dormitories, so this is just an introductory session—”

I put up my hand, totally confused. “Um,” I said. “I thought we were going to our form room.”

“You thought right,” said Mr Allbright. “And as you see, here we are.” He waved his hand at the little courtyard.

I suddenly knew how Alice felt when she fell down that rabbit hole.

“But this is outdoors!” I said.

“Absolutely,” Mr Allbright agreed warmly. “I can’t stand being cooped up, can you? As I was saying, lessons don’t start until the day after tomorrow, so we’ll keep this session short and sweet.”

I wasn’t going to risk a hammock in case I fell out in front of everyone. So I plonked myself on the sand and sat moodily arranging shells into patterns, while Mr Allbright talked us through our timetable.
Yawn yawn yawn
, I thought.

Amber nudged me. “Cheer up,” she whispered. “After your first term you can choose a special subject.”

Ooh, goody
, I thought sarcastically.

Mr Allbright started dishing out book lists. I glanced at mine and nearly fainted.
EEK!
You’re out of your depth here, babe
, I thought.

“Oh, before you go,” said Mr Allbright. “I’ve been asked to remind everyone about this term’s HALO awards.”

He tugged his ear again. “I’m not a fan of awards in general,” he confessed. “But the HALO is different. It isn’t about individual glory. It’s about being a link in a divine chain, a valuable member of a team. I hope that this term I’ll see at least one HALO go to someone in this class.”

He started going on about how HALO work had to be done outside school hours (yeah, right!). But I had immediately tuned out. “TEAM” had to be one of my least favourite words in the dictionary. Unlike some people, I was proud to be a unique individual, and I wasn’t about to become some boring link in anyone’s divine chain, thanks very much! I mean, HALO awards, perleaze!

Twenty-four-hour brain-ache might be some people’s idea of heaven, but it most definitely wasn’t mine.
Get out, Mel
, I told myself.
Get out now
.
You are not angel material and angel school is not for you. Just because you’ve died, doesn’t mean people can push you around
.

This decision was such a relief, I can’t tell you.

Now all I had to do was tell Mr Allbright.

Chapter Four

E
ven as a little kid, I had this uncanny ability to wriggle out of tricky situations. Miss Rowntree said I was a natural escape artist. She said every time I’m faced with a situation which I find personally threatening, I slither out of it faster than Houdini in a buttered bikini.

So it took me twenty seconds to figure out how to get out of being an angel.

This was my plan. On our first proper day of lessons, I’d make sure Mr Allbright saw me slaving away at my angel science or whatever. By lunchtime I’d be visibly stressing out (pale, sniffing back tears, etcetera).

Then I’d ask if I could speak to him in private. Through choking sobs, I’d tell Mr Allbright I was out of my depth. The Academy was WAY too advanced for an airhead like me, and I’d never keep up with the others in a million years.

Finally, I’d do that Bambi thing with my eyes and I’d be home and dry. By the time they figured out I was never an angel in the first place, I’d be gone!!

In my mind, I was already off the hook.

I don’t know about you, but relief makes me really chatty.

“So, what do you guys do after school?” I said.

“Oh, stuff,” said Lola vaguely. “Shopping.”

“Yeah right, I thought. Shopping in Heaven!

Amber’s eyes misted over “Oh, Melanie,” she said. “I don’t even know where to start. You are going to have the
best
time.”

I made myself take a calming breath. OK, so Amber was just a little too sweet. But I could put up with her for another forty-eight hours.

“That’s all for now, kids,” beamed Mr Allbright. “I look forward to meeting you again, the day after tomorrow.”

Lola stuck up her hand. “Sir,” she said. “Shouldn’t you tell us where we’re staying this term?”

Our teacher looked astounded. “Did I forget to do that?”

“Yes, sir!” everyone yelled.

Mr Allbright hastily produced yet another list and reeled off names.

I couldn’t help feeling a happy little buzz when I found out I was staying in Lola’s dorm.

Amber looked wistful. “I’ll say goodbye then.”

Everyone started moving off. “Hope we run into you soon, Melanie!” called one of the girls.

“Very, very soon,” agreed her friend with a weird little smirk.

They looked as innocent as new-born babes, yet I had the definite feeling they were up to something.

Lola cleared her throat. “Just ignore them,” she advised. “So do you want to go straight to our dorm, or what?”

I’d been dying for the moment when Lola and me could start swapping life stories. And it turned out she felt exactly the same! We drifted towards the dorms, talking our heads off.

I got totally overexcited when I discovered Lola was from the twenty-second century!

“That is SO amazing!” I said. “You were born more than a hundred years after me, but here it’s like we’re exactly the same age!”

“This place takes getting used to,” Lola agreed. “People from different times mixed up together. That’s why they have a dress code.”

I was stunned. All this groovy gear I’d been seeing everywhere was Angel Academy uniform!

“I’ll take you into town tomorrow to get yours,” Lola suggested. “We’ll go right after your - er…” Her voice suddenly trailed off.

“After my what?” I said.

For some reason, Lola had gone really red. “Who knows!” she giggled. “Sometimes even I don’t know what I’m talking about.”

“Oh, me too,” I said sympathetically. And to show Lola I totally understood, I started chattering on about the time I practically got expelled for lopping six inches off my school skirt.

All at once Amber came dashing back, bubbling with excitement. “Guess what! I went to sign up for the history club. And it’s filling up really fast. So if you’re interested, you should get down to the library right away.”

“Wow, thanks, Amber,” I said, trying to keep a straight face.

She blushed. “It’s no trouble. I missed some brilliant opportunities when I first got here, just because I didn’t know they were available. Sorry, got to go! Bye!” She sped away, plaits bouncing.

Lola grabbed my hand. To my astonishment, she was shaking with excitement. “Mel, is it OK if we check out the dormitory later?”

“Sure,” I said, surprised.

“Come on, the library’s back there!” Lola launched herself into an impressive sprint.

I tore after her, totally baffled. Lola couldn’t be getting this psyched about some geeky school club, could she?

Apparently she could! “I’m so glad Amber told us,” she gasped out. “I am desperate to join this club. I couldn’t even get on the waiting list last term.”

“You’re really that crazy about history?” I said.

Lola looked amazed. “Aren’t you?”

“I think I’d rather eat my own head,” I said truthfully.

The library turned out to be the magical glass building I’d seen earlier. Instead of rushing in to sign up, Lola dithered outside. “I won’t pressure you if history’s not your thing,” she said. “Just wait here if you like.”

I shrugged. “OK.”

To my surprise Lola looked incredibly fed up. She disappeared through the revolving doors. Next minute she was back, eyes blazing. “I can’t believe it!” she fumed. “When I saw you, I thought, that girl is my soul buddy.”

“I thought that too,” I said nervously.

Lola stamped her foot. “Then why aren’t you jumping up and down at the idea of travelling through time?”

I gasped. “They do
time-travel
in this club?”

“Of course,” said Lola. “Did you think we’d just learn a bunch of dates?”

“Well - yes,” I admitted.

We both burst out laughing. At that moment I made up my mind. “Um, Lola,” I stammered. “I’ve got to tell you something—”

“Yikes!” shrieked Lola, ruining my big confession. “Look at that queue! Let’s get inside!” She dragged me in through the revolving doors.

There are certain words which make me lose all will to live. “Sensible” is one. “Library” is definitely another. But guess what? The Angel Academy library is completely not like that!

For one thing, it has the coolest ceiling. You can actually watch stars and planets performing their amazing celestial manoeuvres.

Lola joined the queue for the history club. I tagged along, telling myself I was just keeping her company. It wasn’t that I’d changed my mind about staying.

I got a shock when I saw who was signing us up. If I hadn’t known they were angels, I’d have taken them for FBI. Suits, blank expressions - the works. I was positive our guy was getting security-type messages down his ear-piece. But I had a peek and what do you know? There was no ear-piece.

“Who ARE these people?” I hissed.

“Oh, they’re from the Agency,” said Lola airily, as if this was obvious.

Before I could follow this up, a boy’s voice said, “Hi, er- Melanie isn’t it?”

Do I know any boys in heaven?
I wondered, amazed.

Then I turned and saw his face and almost fainted.

Omigosh
, I thought. You could so totally tell he was an angel. One of those beautiful Italian-type angels you see in old paintings.

“I was meant to meet you at the gate,” he explained. “But I got held up. You know how it is.”

I managed a dazed nod.

“Still, it looks like you survived,” he said calmly.

Some girls had turned to look at him. They were like sunflowers, I thought, turning their heads to follow the sun. I don’t know why, but that really annoyed me. Huh, I thought. I bet girls get tongue-tied around him all the time. With a mighty effort I found my voice.

“Oh, yeah!” I said, in my most unimpressed tone. “I’m having a great time, thanks.”