Wings (23 page)

“What are you saying?” asked Tamisin. “I admit there is some similarity, but …”

“You’re my daughter, Tamisin. Flesh of my flesh, blood of my blood. I gave birth to you … How many years ago was it?”

“Fifteen,” said Tamisin in a high, thin voice that she barely recognized as her own.

Titania nodded. “That’s right. Fifteen years, human time. It seems so long ago.”

Tamisin wasn’t thinking when she replied, “My mother says it seems just like yesterday.”

“But I’m your mother!” Titania said, sounding annoyed. “I told you that. Whoever took care of you was doing it because I couldn’t. They weren’t your real parents. Now that you’re here with me I want you to forget all about those other people. Tell me, is there anything you want to know? Anything at all?”

“There’s a lot, actually,” said Tamisin. “If you were my mother, and I must admit, you look like you must be, why didn’t you want me? Why didn’t you raise me yourself? Did you give me away or did someone steal me from you? And if they stole me, why didn’t you come looking for me?”

“Those weren’t at all the kinds of questions that I meant. Don’t you want to know about me? I am the fairy queen, after all. Very well then—if anyone is going to ask questions, I should be the first. How did you learn that you were not an ordinary human?”

“It was … everything. It was my ears and my spreckles and my dancing and the fairies and the way
the goblins kept finding me and then it was my wings and …”

“Did you say wings?” said the queen, frowning ever so slightly. “I had no idea. You had no fairy qualities at all when I sent you away. No matter. Apparently your fairy side has come forth more than I anticipated. I sent you to the humans thinking you would fit in with them. I never intended for you to return to me. Weren’t you happy there?”

“I was very happy,” said Tamisin. “But I’ve always known I didn’t belong, that I was different. I know a lot of girls feel that way, but my differences were bigger than most and a lot more obvious. And now I’d like to ask you a question if I may.”

Titania sighed. “What would you like to know?”

“Why did you send me away? Didn’t you want me here? Didn’t you want me at all?”

“What you mean to say is, didn’t I love you? A perfectly reasonable question, considering the circumstances. Yes, I suppose I did, but it was obvious from the start that I couldn’t keep you. You were a red, squalling thing, unlike normal fairy babies, who are pink-cheeked and happy from the moment they are born. Yet even so I would have kept you by my side if things had been different. I had conceived you through my husband’s trickery, and having you nearby kept me from forgiving him, which I needed to do for the good of our kingdom. We have our quarrels, Oberon and I, but we are strongest when we are together.”

“So you sent me away so you could stop fighting?”

“In part, but also to keep you safe. Your father was a human, made to look like a donkey goblin on the night of your conception. I fell in love with him, or thought I did, through magic that was soon reversed. It was many months before I knew that I carried a child, but time passes differently in the human world, and your father had grown old and died by then. You would have gone to him had he still lived.”

“That story sounds awfully familiar,” said Tamisin.

“I believe a human named Shakespeare once included it in one of his tales. He took great liberty in the retelling, embellishing that which should not have been made public knowledge. I was not pleased, but he was only human and the fey rarely take humans’ stories seriously.”

“Why should it matter to them?”

“By the time you were born, much had changed in the human world, yet too much had stayed the same here. The king and I had conquered the goblins years before and they have been rebellious ever since. Most goblins abhor humans, which I regret to say is a common feeling among the fey. Should the goblins have learned that I had borne the daughter of a human, they would have seen it as just cause to take up arms against me. Even more so if they had known that the human had resembled a goblin when I knew him; they would have considered it a gross insult. Goblins would have killed you, or worse, had I kept you here. You can see that I sent you away for your own good.”

“Yeah …,” Tamisin said. “You were thinking only of me.” She sat down a few feet from the throne even
though she was pretty sure she was supposed to remain standing in the presence of royalty. Somehow she no longer cared. Her real mother had just told her that she’d have been an embarrassment if she’d stayed … an inconvenience, a political disaster, a—

“I understand that this is a great deal to comprehend all at once,” Titania said.

“Especially since I’m only human,” muttered Tamisin.

Titania appeared to be relieved that Tamisin understood. “Indeed,” she said, nodding.

“Except I’m not!” said Tamisin. “My life would have been so much easier if I were! You sent me to live with people who couldn’t possibly understand what it was like to be part fairy. I had no idea what it meant when I changed and no one else did either. There’ve been times I was convinced that I was going crazy! Didn’t it ever occur to you to care about what my life was like? You made me, then threw me away like I was a shoe that didn’t fit!”

“The decision was not as easy as that, I assure you,” said the queen.

“Sorry I made your life difficult,” Tamisin said. She knew that she shouldn’t talk to the queen of the fairies that way, but the woman was also her mother.

“You need not apologize,” said Titania, “although your coming here was ill advised. Everything that I was hoping to avoid when I sent you away is coming to fruition. Your return could not have come at a worse time. Oberon and I have quarreled again. Even now he is on the shores of the Southern Sea. In his absence my forces are depleted, as he has taken half our troops with
him. There are rumors that the goblins are planning an uprising. I am certain that they know of Oberon’s absence and hope to take advantage of it, especially now that you’ve fueled their anger with your presence.”

“But the goblins brought me here!”

Titania reached out to pat her on the head. “Do not blame yourself. You had no way of knowing.”

“I wanted to come meet you, but I think it would be best if I went home now. I guess I fit in there better than I do here.”

“If only you had realized that sooner,” said Titania, “but it is already too late. Many have seen your arrival and word has spread. My scouts tell me that goblins are looking for you even now. Should you leave this forest, you will be captured and used against me. I cannot let that happen. This will be your new home, Tamisin, for better or for worse.”

Tamisin’s jaw dropped. “You mean I
have
to stay here?”

“Don’t say it as if I’m imposing a terrible sentence on you. I’m offering you a home that most girls would give anything for. You’ll have the freedom to do whatever you want, provided you stay in the Old Forest. You’ll have handmaidens at your beck and call to bring you the best of everything the fey can provide. Unlike in the human world, you’ll never have to go to school, and you’ll answer to no one but me.”

“I can never see my friends or family again?”

“I am your family now, Tamisin. You have no need of anyone else.”

Jak was waiting at the head of the path when Leadless appeared to escort him into the forest. After the gnome left, no one spoke to Jak until Tamisin arrived with her fairy escort, who stayed long enough to circle Jak as if to remind him that he’d better mind his manners.

Jak took one look at Tamisin’s expression and said, “Isn’t she willing to help? I thought she might let you stay here until she gets it straightened out with the goblins.”

“Oh, I’ll be staying here, all right. Tell me, Jak, did you know she was my mother? Was I the only one who had no clue that—”

“Titania is your mother? You’re joking, right?” When Tamisin shook her head, Jak’s legs went weak and he had to sit down on the hollow log behind him. It made sense that the fairy queen was her mother. After all, they both could control the weather. He couldn’t believe that he’d been traveling with Titania’s daughter. Of course,
he’d intended to kidnap Tamisin, and he would have if it hadn’t turned into a rescue. He was in so much trouble …

“I look just like her,” Tamisin was saying when Jak began to pay attention again. “Titania is the one those people were talking about at the inn. Tobi knew about it. He had to. Did you know that he’s one of Titania’s spies? He had given her his latest report just before I got there. He didn’t want me to know about it and was awfully nervous when he saw me. Titania as much as admitted it, although I don’t think she intended to.”

Jak buried his face in his hands. “I had no idea she was your mother,” he said. “I’ve never been to court before, or seen the queen during any of her travels. How was I supposed to know that you looked like her? And if Tobi’s a spy … How did he … I mean, when—”

“You can ask him yourself when you see him. He’s here somewhere.”

“That would explain why he always knew so much about what was going on. He came and told me things … I thought he’d learned them from my uncle, but if he was really working for Titania … And to think that I trusted him!”

“He’s still your friend, Jak. I don’t think Tobi would do anything to hurt you.”

“Not intentionally, maybe,” Jak said, rubbing the scar on his forehead where the broken pottery shard had hit him in the Pit.

When he felt Tamisin sit down beside him, Jak glanced at her and said, “Was Titania happy to see you?”

“She said she was, but then she told me how all her problems are my fault.”

“Why would she say that?”

“She didn’t say it in so many words, but she did say that because I came to see her, the goblins know that she had a half-human child and that they’re going to use the knowledge against her. Oberon is away and so is half her army, so she’s got a real problem. So do I. She said I can’t go home. I have to stay in her forest or the goblins will kill me, or worse, whatever that means.”

“Do you want to go home?” asked Jak.

“I don’t know what I want, but I do know that I don’t want to stay here forever. I fit in here even less than I did in the human world. Have you seen how delicate these fairies are? Even the big ones look fragile. I feel like an elephant in a room full of baby chicks. One false move and I’ll crush the lot of them.”

“From what I’ve heard, I’d say that fairies aren’t as fragile as they look. And I don’t think you’re being fair to yourself. You might like it here after a few days. I’ve seen worse places to live.”

“I’ve been trying to remember why I ever wanted to meet my mother. I guess I expected too much. I was hoping she’d be this wonderful woman who loved me and missed me and couldn’t wait to meet me and we’d ask each other all sorts of questions. Did you know that when I met Titania today, the only thing she wanted to know about me was how I’d learned that I was a fairy? I didn’t really get to ask her much. I wanted to ask about my father. She did tell me that he’s dead.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” said Jak.

“She also said that the goblins would be even more stirred up if they knew that my father was a human who’d been made to look like a goblin, as if being human was a horrible thing and even worse if they thought he was mocking the oh-so-wonderful goblins. Then she said that everything she was trying to prevent is going to happen because I came here.”

“You’ve forgotten that the goblins were looking for you even in the human world. I wonder if Titania knows how long they’ve been after you. Oh, yeah,” he said, shaking his head. “Forget I said that. If Tobi knew, I’m sure she did, too.”

“Was that goblin telling the truth when he said that you went to the human world to kidnap me?”

“I wouldn’t put it that way, exactly,” Jak said, choosing his words carefully. “I went to find you and persuade you to come back with me, but I had no idea who you were. All I knew was that you had seen goblins when no one else could and that you were a danger to goblin-kind, especially since you could throw lightning bolts as easily as most humans throw Frisbees.”

“That’s ridiculous!” said Tamisin.

“I had a feeling you didn’t know you had the talent. You never seemed to do it on purpose. Haven’t you noticed that there’s thunder and lightning whenever you’re upset?”

Tamisin shook her head. “No, there isn’t!”

“Really?” said Jak. “What about my Halloween party?”

“That was a coincidence! How could lightning have anything to do with me?”

“That’s what I wondered,” said Jak, “although it makes sense now that we know about your mother. I had no clue, but I wonder if anybody else did. My uncle was awfully interested in you. I couldn’t figure out why he would care so much that you could see goblins, or control lightning, for that matter, but if he had already made the connection and figured out who you were …”

“What do you suppose he wanted with me?” Tamisin asked.

Jak shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe he wanted to hold you hostage to get something from your mother, or maybe, if your mother was right, he wanted to use you as evidence for what she had done. I don’t think he would have hurt you. He’s an honorable goblin, not at all like Nihlo.”

“Thank you, Jak, for not taking me to your uncle when I asked you to bring me here instead. I’ve probably gotten you in trouble—”

“A lot less trouble than you would have been in if we’d gone to see him!”

“But you didn’t ask for any of this,” said Tamisin.

“Neither did you,” said Jak.

“Pardon me, but would you mind moving?” A three-headed troll had come up beside them and was pointing at their boulder. “I have to take this to the ring for extra seating. The older fairies like to sit down after the first dance or two.”

Tamisin sighed and gave Jak a tremulous smile before
telling the troll, “We’ll get out of your way in just a second.” Turning back to Jak, she added, “I think we should look around. I want to see more of my new home, and I want you to go with me.”