Wings of Darkness: Book 1 of The Immortal Sorrows Series (28 page)

     The Ferris wheel turned, creaking
and groaning beneath the too-loud music. Another couple got off.  We were
no longer at the top of the wheel.  She knew it was me. I pulled away from
her a little, just to get a better look at her face.  She pulled her hands
from around my neck, but I caught them and kept them trapped in both of mine,
held close to my racing heart.  Her hands were small, and soft, and
perfect.  Like her.

     “How did you know?” My mind whirled
from one possibility to the next.

     Isabel arched a brow,
incredulously.  “Seriously?  You just kidnapped Alex, stole a kiss
from me, and don’t even get me started on the whole messing with my memories
thing, but you want to know how I knew it was you?”  She looked
angry.  It might not be the best time to ask, but I had to know.

     “Please?”

     “Fine.” She stared at me
hard.  “When you’re close to me, I can feel it, inside, somehow. 
It’s probably because of all the changes you’ve made to my genes. Also, I
smelled you, if you must know; nobody smells like you.” She pursed her lips as
she glanced towards the ground. “And if that wasn’t enough, you’re quite a bit
bigger than Alex. The ride tipped when you took his place.” She glared at me,
and I could feel the corners of my lips curl up into a smile.  She knew it
was me, and she had kissed me with a passion I had not dared to hope for. “You
can stop looking so pleased with yourself.  I’m pissed at you.”

     She certainly looked like she might
be angry.  Color had returned to her cheeks, and bloomed into roses. 
Her eyes snapped with Reaper fire, and her lips were a little swollen from my
kiss. I found her to be exquisite.  I had an almost uncontrollable urge to
pull her into my lap and do it again.

     She flattened her palms against my
chest and held me back from her.  “Oh, no, you don’t.  I’m not
kissing you, again.  I repeat; I’m pissed at you.”

     “You taste like chocolate.” 
Her eyes grew large, and the roses in her cheeks spread as she blushed. “And
your eyes glow red, like a Reaper’s.”

     “Stop talking like that,” she bit
out.  Her fingers curled into my chest, almost subconsciously and she
stared at my mouth for an incredibly long moment, before finally shoving me
away.

     “Kiss me, and I promise I will not
say another word.”

     Her eyes snapped up to mine. 
“Stop it,” she hissed. “You don’t get to flirt with me after the crap you put
me through.” Maybe she really was angry with me?  Was it wrong that I
found her anger adorable? “We need to talk, but first, you’re going to put Alex
back where you found him.  Unharmed, mind you.  I came here with him, and
I’m going to finish my date.”

     “No.”

     She leaned away from me, and I let
her go. Not far; there had been too much distance between us for too long, but
I let her have a little space.  “No?  No?!  What do you mean,
no? Why the hell not?”  Her voice rose an octave with each syllable she
uttered.

     “I cannot put him back.” 
Well, I could, but I would not.  I was not so stupid that I would admit
this to her, however.  She was in a dangerous mood.

     She drew in a deep, steadying
breath, let it out, slowly.  She may have counted to ten.  “Why can’t
you put Alex back?  Did you do something to him?  Did you hurt
him?”  Her voice grew louder and more strident, with every question. 
So much for calming herself down.

     It was my turn to be annoyed. 
The boy was, as yet, unharmed.  I guaranteed nothing, however, for his
long-term health. “I did nothing to hurt the boy, but he is only human, after
all. Moving him about on a whim could cause lasting harm.  We would not
want to damage him.” What a shame that would be.

     Isabel did not look like she
believed me, but since she had no way of proving me a liar, she took a
different approach. “So, can I ask you something?”

     “You may ask, but I may not
answer.” There. Let her make of that what she would.

     “What did you do with Alex?” 
The ride moved again; we were almost to the bottom.

     “The boy is fine.  He is
home.  Safely tucked into his bed, I am sure.” Truly, I neither knew, nor
cared where he was, just as long as he was away from Isabel.  I was tiring
quickly of talking about that miserable boy.  “Now, may I ask you a
question?”

     She watched me, warily; clearly
still unhappy with me.  Her moods shifted faster than lighting in a storm.
“What do you want to know?”  I shrugged, and crossed my arms over my
chest.  If I did not, I was afraid I would pull her to me again, and though
I would enjoy that very much, I preferred that she come to me willingly.

     “If you knew that it was me, but
you are so angry with me, then why did you kiss me?”  She closed her eyes,
and I think she may have even growled, a little.

     She wet her lips, and I found that
suddenly utterly fascinating. She had the loveliest mouth: pale pink lips, like
the inside of a shell, and the lower one was just slightly fuller than the
upper.  I wanted to kiss her again. “Chalk it up to temporary insanity. 
Besides, you stole that kiss, and you know that you did.” 

     The Ferris wheel ratcheted down
again, and it was our turn to be released.  The look on the attendant’s
face was priceless; he watched her with open amazement.  All he saw was a
girl having an argument with herself.  Sometimes, it is the little things
that I find the most amusing.

     The moment I’d smelled spiced
leather, I’d known exactly what had happened. Asher had found me.  I’d
been so happy to be back in his arms again, that for an insane moment, I’d
forgotten all about Alex.  And then he’d kissed me, and I lost all my good
sense.  Everything inside of me had welcomed him.  Nothing had ever
felt so right.  Nothing had ever felt so wonderful.  I was an idiot,
but a happy one.

     I’d gone all dizzy and tingly, the
moment he’d touched me, but maybe that was because I’d forgotten how to
breathe. Breathing is highly overrated, anyway.  Asher was there,
suddenly, and he was everything I wanted.  I couldn’t get close enough to
him.  I’d even forgotten about the stupid Ferris wheel, and the fact that
I was scared to death of heights.  Asher would never let me fall.

     And then, like being doused with
cold water, reason had returned.  He’d tried to take my memories from me.
The jackass had left me alone.  I’d been left defenseless, and exposed;
depressed and missing him, and that whole time, he’d known exactly what he’d
done to me.  I could’ve killed him.  Then I realized, that I probably
really could, or at least hurt him. 

     I’d killed Mairya.  There was
satisfaction attached to that memory, and along with it, bone-deep shame. 
She would have killed me, given the chance, I had to remind myself, but
something inside of me was
glad
that I had killed her.  I was turning into a monster. 
The monster Asher had made of me.

     I had seen and done incredible and
terrible things since meeting him, and he’d tried to take all of that away from
me.  I was at war with myself.  On the one hand, I wanted nothing
more than to go on kissing him, and on the other, I wanted to boot his ass over
the side of the Ferris wheel.  How dare he make that kind of decision
for
me?  Good or
bad, I had a right to my memories.

     Hell, he’d even taken the choice
out of whether I kissed him, or not.  I’d thought I’d been about to kiss
Alex.  Though, I hadn’t been super excited about the idea, come to think
of it.  The idea of kissing Alex seemed nice.  Sweet.  I just
hoped that wherever he’d ended up, he was safe.

     Asher followed me through the crowd
after we got off the Ferris wheel, staying always just close enough to touch,
but not quite. I kept walking blindly; barely avoiding being stepped on in the
crowd. It’s always strange, watching the way people react when Asher is
around.  They look everywhere else, but never at him.  Some of
them were so busy avoiding him that they almost ran over me.  

     The longer I walked, the more
pissed off I got.  Which was stupid since I’d been so happy to see him
just a few minutes before.  I’d practically jumped in his lap, for God’s
sake. But the heart wants what the heart wants, and right at that moment, my
heart wanted me to kick his ass for abandoning me.

     I kept my mouth shut, for fear of
saying something in anger that I couldn’t take back, later.  I had so much
raw rage building up inside, that I was terrified of what I might do with it.
 I needed distance from him.  Which was ironic, since I’d spent
several days grieving for the loss of him. Again, that was his fault, not
mine. 

     Maybe he really had gotten sick of
babysitting me, just like he’d told Clotho?  Maybe he’d thought it was a
good way to ditch me?  Maybe he was just a jack-ass who thought he could
manipulate me however he saw fit, and it would be ok?  Yeah, that was probably
it.

     Asher grabbed my arm and spun me
around.  We were just outside the gate to the funhouse.  A wall of
distorted mirrors threw our images back in all sorts of weird shapes and sizes.
“What?” I bit the word off through clenched teeth. I sounded bitchy, but I felt
bitchy.  He’d made this mess, let him deal with it.

     “Are you going to talk to me?”

     “Nope.” I shook my head, even as I
pulled my arm out of his grasp. “Talking to you is not a good idea, right
now.  Go away; you’re good at doing that.”

     He just stared at me.  Why
not?  He had nothing but time on his hands.  “Isabel, I am sorry.”

     Now it was my turn to be
shocked.  Seriously?  He really thought that would get him off the
hook?  “For which thing are you sorry, Asher?”  People turned to
stare at me.  Shit.  I’d forgotten that most people refused to see
him.  I looked like an idiot who was having an argument with
herself.  Nothing new, there.  I usually looked like an idiot
whenever he was around.

     There wasn’t a line for the
funhouse. If we were doomed to have this conversation, at least we could get
inside, and away from all of the curious stares.  I walked up to the
attendant and showed her the bracelet on my arm.  It was just a piece of
red string with a tab on the end, but it allowed me a free pass to all of the
rides.  Alex had bought us both bracelets, and now he wasn’t even getting
to use his.  Something else that was Asher’s fault.

     The attendant snapped her gum, and
waved me on through the little gate.  At least she pointed out the
entrance to me, before going back to her magazine.  I noticed that she,
too, managed to look everywhere, but at Asher.  Getting ignored must get
old, after a while.  I stopped that thought in its tracks.  I would
not feel sorry for him.  He didn’t deserve my sympathy, and I was pretty
sure that he wouldn’t want it, either.

    I was acutely aware of Asher at my
back.  He gave off enough heat to keep even my cold-natured self,
warm.  Then again, I was mad at him, I reminded myself, so maybe that was
just my rage, keeping me warm.  We passed more mirrors. Warped and bent;
they lined both sides of the hallway we passed through.  I felt pretty
warped and bent, too.

     A dozen different versions of me
were displayed; some were long and tall, some were short and round.  A
couple even had enormous, bulbous heads.  And behind every image of me,
was a deadly angel with a beautiful face, and fathomless eyes.  He paid no
attention to the mirrors.  His eyes were only for me.

     A lump formed in my throat, and the
heat was suddenly suffocating.  I watched in horror as the glass in front
of me spider-webbed into a million little pieces.  Had I done that? 
Or had he?

     “Isabel.  Stop.”  His
hand was on my shoulder, turning me, gently.  He almost looked like he was
afraid I might run.

     I started to speak, then heard the
catch in my throat, and hesitated.  “How could you do that to me?” 
I’d meant that to come out loud, and angry, but it was more of a pitiful,
little-girl whisper.  “You took my choice.  I trusted you, and you
ditched me.”

     “That, I never did.  I have
not left you.  I did what I thought best for you.”  Color crept into
his face, and for the first time I saw something terrifying in his eyes: raw
emotion.  He was always so calm and cool, like ice. And now, the ice was
melting. Had I pissed him off?  Good. I probably should’ve been cowering
at that point.  You don’t piss off Death, and expect to get by with
it. 

     “It doesn’t matter, anyway.
 It didn’t work.  I remembered everything.”  It came out dully;
all the fire and anger had burned out of me. I went cold inside, did my best to
pull away from him, emotionally.  No matter what we did, we were doomed to
hurt each other.  It would be best to cut my losses and run, before I got
really attached to him, and got really hurt.

     “It matters, Isabel.  You
matter.”  He ran his hand through his blonde hair, impatiently.  “I
wanted only to protect you.  Do you not see?  If the Elders know what
you are to me, if they suspect… they will take you from me.” His accent got
thicker when he was distressed. His hands held my shoulders, gently pulled me
closer.  God help me, I wanted him to hold me, but I just couldn’t let him
do it.  I had to keep him at a distance.  For his sake, if not for
mine. 

     “What?” I looked into his eyes, and
they glowed dull red, deep in the pupils, like embers.  The stormy grey
was darkened to almost charcoal.  He really was upset. “Asher, they
already know what I am, or at least, they’ve guessed.”  My hands came up
and covered his of their own volition. “I’m a freak of nature; an abomination,
just like they said.”  The lump in my throat got bigger, and I almost
wished it would just go ahead and choke me.

     “No.  You are not.  You
are a new thing and I will not let them have you.” His hands gripped mine
painfully, but I liked it.  He knew I was strong enough that he wouldn’t
break me.  Still, he scared me, just a little.  I knew he wouldn’t
hurt me, but I’d never seen him lose his cool; not even when he’d put Halo
through a wall at the Aerie.  

     “Just calm down, ok?  They
aren’t going to take me anywhere, yet.”  I needed to tell him about Fate,
and her insane little scheme, but this clearly wasn’t the time or the
place.  He was already upset, I didn’t need to add to it. 
“Everything will be alright.  I promise.”  I knew I was lying, but I
wanted to believe it, if only for a little while.

***

    I was too tired to sleep, if that makes
any sense.  A week of insomnia, plus one shock after another had finally
taken its toll.  My nerves were shot; I was thoroughly exhausted, and
desperate for sleep.  The only problem was, my brain just would not shut
down and let me rest.  I counted problems, instead of sheep, and grew more
frustrated by the minute.  After a couple of hours of staring at my alarm
clock, counting down the time till dawn, I finally gave up, and went looking
for relief.

     I got out of bed and padded quietly
down the hallway to my dad’s bathroom.  His room was just across the hall,
and I could hear him snoring through his closed door.  Must be nice, I
thought.  I didn’t want to wake him up for no reason. He needed sleep, and
he didn’t need to be worried about me.  So I very quietly rummaged around
in his medicine cabinet.  I found some herbal sleep remedy, and some
Tylenol PM. 

     I’ve never been a patient sort of
person, so I went for the Tylenol.  I only took one because they give me
really weird, lucid dreams. Also more than one, and I wake up mean and
bitchy.  But it was desperate times.  I had to get some sleep before
I hurt someone.  So I popped the pill in my mouth and took a drink
straight from the faucet.  I wiped the water off of my chin with the back
of my hand and caught my reflection in the mirror as I shut the cabinet.

     Asher’s jackass friend was right; I
had bags under my eyes I could have packed a lunch in.  That was a sneaky
trick he’d pulled off: pretending to be a fortune teller.  He’d been
right.  Change, choice, and disaster; that summed up my autumn, so far. I
had been changed, for sure.  I wasn’t even sure if I was technically
human, anymore.

     As for choice, I wasn’t so sure I
had ever had any choice, at all.  Fate had used me from the
beginning.  Hell, way before the beginning.  I was nothing but a
science experiment, to her. I can hold a grudge as well as the next girl, but
her kind of dedication took crazy to a whole new level.  Maybe I would
have been better off not remembering all of my problems. I might have gotten
something like a normal life back.  I sighed.  Too late.

     I thought of the grinning skeleton
on the Death card, and shivered a little.  Was Grim messing with me, or
had I legitimately picked that particular card?  What were the
chances?  Death is everyone’s fate, but for me there was more than one way
to look at it.  Was Asher my fate?  Or was the card meant to be taken
more literally?  Just thinking about it gave me a headache.  Oh,
well, the Tylenol would take care of that for me, soon enough.

     Asher obviously had wanted to keep me
in the dark, or he wouldn’t have tried to take my memories, in the first
place.  On the other hand, Asher had seemed extremely happy to see me
earlier, if that kiss was anything to go by.  That kiss…a wave of heat
swept up my throat, and into my cheeks, at the thought.  I’d better not
think about that.  I probably shouldn’t think of the way he’d held me in
the funhouse, either.  Or think about the way the mirror had shattered.

     I was losing my mind.  In the
very least, I was turning into someone I barely recognized.  I had a dozen
things I should be worried about, besides how soft and silky Asher’s lips had
felt…or the scrape of his beard against my throat.  Idiot, I scolded
myself.  Damned, stupid idiot.

     I shut the light off, and closed
the bathroom door softly behind me.  Then I sneaked back to bed as quietly
as I could.  Jazzy streaked through my door just as I was shutting
it.  She hopped up on the bed and made herself at home on my pillows,
kneading and fluffing the material to make herself a little nest.  I laid
down next to her and rubbed her ears the way she liked.  This was our
nightly ritual.  She fluffed my pillows while I petted her.  She had
me well trained.  Her eyes closed to green slits as she rubbed her chin
against my hand, marking me as hers.

     No longer satisfied with her nest
of pillows, she curled up around my head, purring happily, and loudly while she
tried to fluff my hair into a bird’s nest. I had gathered all of my hair on top
of my head and secured it into a giant bun, but she would get most of it loose,
by morning. So much for waking up tangle-free.  It did no good pushing her
away, either.  She’d just meow indignantly and start all over again.

     I turned the light off, and rolled
over on my side, in an effort to get comfortable.  There was still a
little light filtering in from the streetlight outside my window, but it was
dark enough that it wouldn’t disturb me if I actually fell asleep.  A tiny
dagger-like claw caught the back of my head, too close to the scalp, and I
dragged my comforter partially up over my head for protection.  At least
that way, she was less likely to draw blood, if she got carried away before she
fell asleep. I was pretty sure she’d been a hairdresser in her last life. 
A bad one, but extremely enthusiastic about her job.