Wings of the Morning (Kensington Chronicles) (19 page)

"Did I tell you that you look lovely this evening?"

"Thank you, Dallas. I was thinking you look wonderful

too."

Again Dallas stared at her. "I've never before waltzed with

a woman, but right now I wish there was music"

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Smokey smiled at the very thought and then at herself. "I'd

jbably step on your foot."

Dallas smiled in return. "With your little feet, I wouldn't

;n notice."

Smokey chuckled softly, a sound that sent a shiver down

; Dallas' spine.

"Now how would you be knowing about the size of my

feet?" she wished to know.

Dallas' vast hands came up, and he held his fingers about

seven inches apart. "You forget I've sailed with you. Your

boots are only this big."

Suddenly Smokey didn't feel like laughing. It seemed such

an intimate, tender thing to have Dallas know the size of her

feet. The thought of leaving him, perhaps for the better pan of

the year, felt like a knife in her side.

Smokey watched as those hands came forward now to

frame her face. He made no move to kiss her, but she felt his

thumbs stroke gently over her cheekbones. His eyes in the

moonlight were warm and intimate like a man in love. Smokey

was afraid to hope.

"Dallas," Kathleen's voice came faintly from the direction

of the house.

"Yes, Kathleen?" Dallas turned but did not take his hands

from where they'd dropped on Smokey's shoulders.

"Buck and Greer are leaving now. Would you like me to

ride home with them?"

"No, Kathleen, I'll be there in a few minutes."

They both watched as she moved back to the house, and

Smokey was pleased at how calm Kathleen had sounded. It

didn't change the inevitable, however--she was still sailing

next week.

"I have so much I want to say to you," Dallas spoke.

Smokey tipped her head to see him.

"Dallas--" Smokey began.

"Kathleen and I are just friends."

"I think I figured that out already, but it doesn't change the

fact that I'm leaving."

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"And you'd rather that I leave things unsaid right now?*1]

"I might regret it someday very soon, but yes, I do. I don'tl

want you here, not able to get in touch with me if you change

your mind"

"You don't understand if you think that's going to happen."

Dallas wanted to say more, but Smokey was adamantly

shaking her head.

"You need to go, Dallas. Next time we see each other, we'll

talk. We'll both have had time to think, and then we can share

where we are."

Her logic and ability to keep calm in an intense situation

was one of the things he admired most about her, but at this

particular moment, he wanted desperately to kiss her. He'd

have loved for her to put her logic aside for just a few minutes.

Instead he did as she asked His hands slid tenderly down her

upper arms before he reluctantly broke contact.

"Go with God, Smokey. You'll be in my prayers."

The words were barely audible. Then Smokey stood alone

and watched him walk away.

"I think I owe you an apology, Kathleen."

"No, Dallas, you don't." Kathleen's voice was tight with

anger, and Dallas sighed

"Yes, I do. You're furious and I--"

"You're right," she cut him off in rage. "I am angry, but not

with you."

Dallas pulled the buggy to a halt and shifted in the seat to

see her. It was getting colder by the moment, but he had to

learn the truth.

"What's going on, Kathleen?"

"You wouldn 't believe me if I told you." Her voice was self-mocking,

and Dallas persisted

"Try me."

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"My mother," Kathleen began but did not go on.

"I get the impression that she desperately wants you to

Hnany"

"She does, Dallas, and I would love to be married, but not

her way, not through pretense and deceit."

"Pretense?" Dallas was adrift. "I'm not sure I understand."

"Ask me anything about ships, Dallas," Kathleen blurted

In anger. "Go on... ask me... ask anything you wish. I've done

extensive reading on the subject. Or maybe you'd rather

know about the pyramids. I was reading a book about them

before you picked me up this evening." Kathleen blurted the

words out, forgetting her promise to her mother.

Dallas could only stare at her as she came to a stop and

tears flooded her eyes.

"My mother," she whispered tearfully, "believes that all

men want a wife who's a little bit stupid and very clingy. She's

been teaching me since I was a child that if I want a man, I can't

let anyone know I am intelligent."

The tears were flowing freely now, and after Dallas produced

a large white handkerchief, he slipped his arm around

her. She sobbed into his shoulder, and Dallas said nothing,

only listened as she told the truth for the first time in years.

"I don't know if you remember Harvey Blanchard, but we

were seeing each other last year." Kathleen was developing a

hard case of hiccups, but continued to unburden her heart. "I

admire Harvey more than any other man I've ever known.

He's brilliant and sensitive and I fell for him our first time out.

At first I thought he might be feeling for me as I did for him, but

Mother insisted that I play dumb, and quite frankly he was

bored out of his head with my wide-eyed looks and inane

chatter."

The memory was so painful for Kathleen that she sobbed

anew, her frame shuddering with harsh weeping. Dallas still

kept one arm around her shoulders and let her cry. He didn't

know when he'd heard anything so foolish as to pretend

ignorance to attract a man. What rot!

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"I made a decision tonight," Kathleen lifted her head and

attempted to repair her face. Her voice shuddered some, but

Dallas could tell that her mind was resolute.

"My father is always telling me to be myself, and now I'm

going to be. He's always up when I get home. I'm going to tell ,

him that I'm done pretending and that I'm going to stand up to

Mother. I'm sure he will side with me, but if worse comes to

worst, I'll contact my aunt about moving in with her. She lives

in Biddeford and is always asking me to come. I won't live a lie

for one more day."

"I'm glad you told me, Kathleen. I hope your parents see

your side. I'll be praying for all of you."

Kathleen's eyes were filled with peace as she answered,

"Thanks for everything, Dallas. By the way," Kathleen went

on, unable to remember when her heart felt so light, "does

Smokey know what a wonderful husband you're going to

make?"

"I don't know," he said with a grin for the compliment. "I

can't ever get that girl to stand still long enough to listen to

me."

"That's part of the problem isn't it, Dallas? She's not a girl,

but a woman who knows who she is and what needs to be

done. Unless I miss my guess, the very thing that frustrates you

is also what you admire the most."

Amazed at her insight, Dallas stared at her. "Did Harvey

stick around long enough to learn that you read minds?"

Kathleen laughed, her first heartfelt laugh in a long time.

"Take me home, Dallas, and on the way I'll tell you all about

the pyramids."

smokey dropped into her desk chair and with a huge sigh,

leaned back and closed her eyes. She had begun to wonder if

they were ever going to get away. With plans to be gone

longer, it seemed every crewman had some problem with

getting there on time. Any other captain would have found

himself another crew, but not Smokey. She smiled at the

thought.

The smile also had to do with the comfort she experienced

to finally feel the gentle rocking of the ship beneath

her. She opened her eyes to look around the familiar cabin

and then spotted Jenny's letter. It had come two days ago, and

she hadn't even had time to open it. She'd have missed it

altogether had they not been delayed. Even fearing that it

might make her sad, Smokey decided to read it now.

Dear Smokey,

I miss you already and have to force myself not

to think about how long you might be gone. Did

Willa cry harder than usual? I hope not, but I know

how she felt.

The baby is really moving these days, and I get

so excited every time I feel it. I'm glad you liked the

wallpaper and fabric I picked. I hope the baby will.

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Tate has had a busy week--I feel like I've hardly

seen him. It's been the same for Dallas, but his

efforts have paid off. The Zephyr is well on her way

to readiness, and he plans to sail next week.

Jenny had more to say, but Smokey put the letter down and

stared into space. Dallas' face swam into her mind, and her

whole frame shuddered with yearning. What if he met someone

and married before she returned? What if he simply didn't

mean what she thought, or he had been carried away by the

moonlight and late hour? Smokey hated the questions she

asked herself, but she wanted to be prepared for the worst.

She stood and wandered to the wardrobe, where three of

her five new dresses hung, not sure even now why she had

brought them. Smokey fingered the sleeve of the gray dress,

still able to feel the pressure of Dallas' hands on her arms as

they had stood above the beach.

With a careful movement Smokey shut the wardrobe door

and began to pray. "Thank You, Father, that You've promised

never to leave me or forsake me. Help me to leave Dallas in

Your hands. I love him and I want to be with him, but I can't let

that rob me of my peace and joy in You."

Smokey prayed for herself for a long time before she

began to lift Dallas to the Lord. Peace settled over her as she

surrendered all to God, and as she finished, she wondered just

where Dallas might be at the moment.

The skeletal beginnings of the ship they had been working

on when Knight Crafts had gone out of business stood stark

against the gray sky. The sight of it had a saddening effect on

Dallas that he felt determined to fight. He asked the Lord to

help him persevere and be more resolved than ever before to

raise the capital to start the business again.

135

He thought of the orders and leads Smokey had left with

[ and praised God for her generosity. If he could make the

linost of his time and effort, this would be one of the most

Isuccessful voyages he'd ever sailed. He knew Smokey had one

Stop to make in England and then she was headed south.

Dallas found himself wishing that they might meet there, and

then he knew that wouldn't be possible; she'd be well on her

way before he arrived

"Hello, Dallas," a voice cut into his thoughts. He turned to