Wings of the Morning (Kensington Chronicles) (37 page)

tightly across her cheekbones.

That, along with the change in her hair, made her look like

a completely different person. Her eyes were still just as big

and just as gray, but there was a new maturity there. Darsey

mourned the lack of innocence, but understood that God's

way was always best.

The days flowed one into another as the Aramis made

good speed west. Smokey slowly regained her strength, and a

week outside of Maine was fully back in command of her ship.

She even raced another vessel and won adroitly.

Outside of her regular duties, Smokey spent a lot of time

sitting on deck and thinking. Dallas was constantly in her

thoughts, and she prayed for him every day. She also remembered

Brandon, Sunny, Sterling, and Aggie. Whenever she

thought of Aggie, she remembered how true it was that a

person could walk around in a prison of his or her own

making and never be behind bars.

It wasn't easy to dispel the image of that cell. At times it

was so real to Smokey that she could smell the stench of it,

even in the wind. But she never allowed her mind to rest there.

She would always push onward to God's grace and protection.

Then the black clouds of memory would be rolled away to

reveal the glorious sunshine of God's love, and Smokey would

ask God for her heart's desire--to be Dallas Knight's wife.

Almost hourly she prayed for him, his well-being, both

physical and spiritual, his ship, and his crew. She prayed that

he would soon realize his dream to stay in Maine and build

ships, and that he would want her at his side when he launched

his first Knight Craft.

It was during these prayers that Smokey would tell the

Lord all the things she loved about Dallas--his convictions

and tenderness, his beliefs and compassion. But even amid

Smokey's desire to be with Dallas for always, she never failed

to end her prayer by telling the Lord that as much as she

wanted this, she wanted Him more. She always asked God to

help her accept His will above her own, no matter what.

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It was because of this commitment concerning God's will

that Smokey's gray eyes shone with joy and inner peace--a

peace so deep that Willa did not believe she had been through

all she said. When Darsey was finally able to convince her, the

older woman sobbed like a baby.

But true to form, when the weeping was over, she rose and

took care of her loved ones once again. In the first week of

Smokey's homecoming, Willa fed her constantly. She also sat

Smokey down at the kitchen table and trimmed her hair into

an adorable style. It had grown ever so slightly on the voyage

home, and Willa was able to make the front hang over her

forehead in wispy little bangs and the back and sides to curl

under, giving a lovely frame to her face. The effect was darling,

and Willa said they should have cut it years ago.

Smokey was not so convinced. All she could think about

was what Dallas might have to say. She knew he had loved her

long hair. When such thoughts crowded in, she told herself

that it didn't matter, that as soon as Dallas returned he would

come looking for her and they would pick up right where they

had left off at Bracken. But the weeks began to drag, and this

didn't happen.

"Why haven't you been to see Jenny?" Willa asked her

pointedly one day.

Smokey hesitated. It was tempting to tell Willa that she

wasn't up to it, but that would have been a lie.

"I think I'm afraid," Smokey finally admitted.

"Of?"

"Of Dallas being there and not coming to see me. Of my

realizing that his feelings might have changed when mine are

stronger than ever."

Willa didn't believe for one minute that Dallas had changed

his mind about Smokey, but she was not going to make any

promises.

"It's not like you to be afraid of anything. You'll never find

out the truth by sitting around here. Not to mention that Jenny

is your friend and you've got a lovely little baby named after

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you that you've never even seen. If Iwere Jenny, whichl'mnot,

I'd be a mite hurt by your indifference"

"I don't feel indifferent," Smokey protested.

"I know that, but Jenny doesn't."

This gave Smokey pause, and she realized she was being

very selfish. Dallas was probably still at sea, leaving Tate and

Jenny in the dark as to why their friend would stay away after

all these weeks. In the morning Smokey packed her bag and

asked Darsey to take her to Kennebunkport.

Smokey stared down into the cradle at Victoria Jennifer

Pemberton and wondered if she had ever seen anyone so tiny

and sweet. Jenny lifted her tiny daughter and passed her into

Smokey's waiting arms. Smokey sat down on the edge of the

settee and just stared into the tiny dark eyes that seemed to be

gazing right at her.

"She's precious."

"We think so," Jenny said softly. The two friends smiled at

each other.

After another look at Victoria's round face, Smokey's

eyes skimmed down the front of her friend's dress and then

twinkled with suppressed laughter.

"I can see you've traded fullness in one area for another."

Jenny really laughed at this and put her hand to her milk-swelled

bosom. "I think I could have fed twins."

"So all I have to do to gain a fuller figure is become a

mother."

"That's all," Jenny said with a nonchalant shrug, and the

two women shared another laugh.

Smokey looked down at that point to see that Victoria had

fallen asleep. She gently laid her back in the cradle. The

women silently left the nursery. Neither one spoke until they

were downstairs in the parlor.

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"You look wonderful, Smokey," Jenny told her sincerely.

Smokey's hand went self-consciously to her hair.

"I guess I should have explained."

"There is no need; Dallas was here."

"Dallas was here?" Smokey asked, trying to keep her voice

light.

"Yes, and I'm sorry about everything you had to go through."

Jenny's eyes filled with tears.

"It's all right, Jen," Smokey told her. "I'm going to be all

right." Smokey was not sure she believed her own words at the

moment, but she was trying.

They fell silent for just a few moments, a silence that

bordered on discomfort until Jenny's face lit.

"I have some good news--Buck and Greer are married!"

"Oh, Jenny!" Smokey exclaimed as she tried to put aside

her feelings of loss. "That's wonderful! When did this happen?"

"Just a month ago. They wanted to wait until you were

back, but they just didn't know when that would be."

"That's all right. I'll have to go and see them. How does

Buck like living in Greer's house?"

"He doesn't; I mean, they live at Buck's. Greer loves it."

Smokey's whole frame tensed. "And Greer's house?"

"It's sold," Jenny told her softly, wanting to say more. She

wished at the moment that she had never promised Dallas she

would stay as quiet as possible about the sale.

Smokey nodded, her face full of calm acceptance. Jenny

went on to fill her in on the goings-on of afew more folks, and

then Victoria began to cry.

"I'll have to feed her," Jenny said. "You can stay if you like."

"Thanks, Jen, but I think I'll take a walk on the beach. I'll

be back before supper."

The women went their separate ways then, but Smokey

might have come back to the house if she could have seen

Jenny in the second-story nursery window, tears pouring

down her face, even as her baby fussed in her bed.

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"Please, Lord," she whispered against the glass, begging

God with every fiber of her being, "Smokey has been through

so much, and so has Dallas. Please help them to find each

other and work things out very, very soon."

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it felt wonderful to SMOKEY to be able to stretch her legs

and feel the sand beneath her shoes and the wind on her face

as she prayed Her voice was carried away on the wind, but

still heard by her heavenly Father.

"You just want it to be You and me, don't You, Lord? You

didn't want me to have Dallas or the house. Help me to accept that. Help me to see that having You is enough."

Smokey stopped at that point and looked out to sea. It was

a sight of which she never grew weary. For a time it had seemed

that she would be giving up the sea and theAramis, but now

she thought she'd best reconsider. Sailing was all she really

knew how to do, and she was used to being her own boss.

"I want to face that pain of loss, Lord, and not just busy

myself to avoid it, but I can't sit around "Willa's and be underfoot

there. Show me if You have a new path. Show me where I

can best be used"

The tears came then, not a torrent, but they did flow down

her face as she mourned the loss of her dreams. Smokey went

on asking God to give her new dreams, dreams to reach for

and realize.

Although her heart was heavy, she felt much better after

she cried For the moment she couldn't think about Dallas. He

was not attainable, and she would only cry again if she allowed

her mind to dwell on his face. Smokey was about to turn back

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to Jenny's when she glanced up the beach and saw Greer's

house. Telling herself she wanted just one more look, Smokey

moved toward it.

It really was the most spectacular home she'd ever seen.

She felt there was little point in telling the new owners to keep

her in mind if they decided to sell--she'd probably be an old

woman by then--but she was tempted to rap on their door

anyway.

Smokey gazed at the house in wonder for some time

before she realized a man had come outside and was looking

down at her on the beach. It was Dallas! Smokey watched in

frozen amazement as he took the cliff steps to the sand and

walked toward her. She didn't move a muscle, not even when

he stopped less than two feet in front of her.

Smokey's eyes met his and then flicked to the house.

Understanding dawned like a light out of the sky.

"You bought it," she said slowly.

"I bought it," Dallas agreed, his voice as deep and wonderful

as she recalled

Smokey took a deep breath and nodded Dallas' face gave

nothing away, and Smokey summoned a smile.

"I'm glad, Dallas," she spoke sincerely "Buck told me a

long time ago that you loved that house, and Greer told me she

hoped whoever owned it after her would care for it the way

she did"

Dallas simply didn't know what to reply, so he just stood

quietly and gazed at the women he loved The silence was too

much for Smokey.

"Are you all settled in?" Her voice sounded too cheerful,

even to her own ears, but Dallas didn't seem to notice