Winter in June (31 page)

Jayne and I escaped to the rec hall, where the game tables stood vacant. With
The McCawley
gone, the camp was fast becoming a ghost town.

“I can't believe Kay would be involved in something like that.” Jayne followed the curve of a Ping-Pong paddle with her finger.

“Can you really blame her?” I asked. “Her best friend had been murdered. Anyone would want vengeance for that. If you were the one Gilda killed, I might've done the exact same thing.”

Jayne picked up a Ping-Pong ball and traced its seam. Neither of us was in the mood for any more game playing. “It doesn't seem right that they'll get away with it though.”

“The only one who's getting away with anything is Gilda. She left this earth a saint. Kay and Violet have to live with what they did. I can't imagine that's going to be easy for either of them.”

“Rosie?” Dotty ducked into the recreation hut just as we were heading out. Rivulets of sweat ran down the sides of his face, and his shirt was darkened with more perspiration.

“What's the matter?” I asked.

“I tried to find you before, but they said your flight back was delayed. They found Jack.”

My breath caught in my throat.

“He's alive,” said Dotty. “But they arrested him.”

“Wait a minute—slow down. Who arrested him? Where did they find him?”

“After you left this morning they sent a bunch of men into the caves on a tip. Apparently he's been hiding out there for months.”

“But how—” The question died in the air. Only one person besides Jayne, Gris, Lefty, and me knew that Jack might be in the caves. And Gris certainly wasn't going around telling anyone Jack was alive after he'd lied about seeing him go into the water. “How is he?”

“Good, from what I heard. Some of the natives have been sneaking him food and drugs for a while now. I heard the cave was outfitted with just about everything he needed. Even books and booze.”

“Can I see him?” I said.

“I doubt it. He's being interrogated. His leg is bad enough that they have him up at the infirmary. Word is they've got the place locked down tight.”

As Dotty left, Jayne took my hand in hers. My head was abuzz with all that had just happened. Jack was alive. He was safe.

“I have to see him,” I whispered.

“I know. You will. We'll figure something out.”

I didn't eat anything at dinner. Instead, I moved my food around the plate to keep away any questions about my diminished appetite. Violet was noticeably absent from the meal. According to the grapevine, she was also in the infirmary, complaining of a sharp pain in her side. They thought it was appendicitis, though I suspected it was more likely desperation. Violet wanted off this island and back to Hollywood, even if it meant she had to be cut to make that happen.

“She must be awfully lonely,” said Jayne.

“Good,” I said. “She deserves to suffer.”

“That's not very nice. We should go see her. Cheer her up.”

“Yeah, I'll get to that just as soon as hell freezes over.”

Jayne kicked me in my shin. Hard.

“On second thought,” I said between clenched teeth, “it would be the Christian thing to do, wouldn't it?”

Kay sat with us in silence. As soon as dinner ended, she attempted to dash out of the high commissioner's house. Before she'd reached the footpath, I called out to her.

“I need a favor,” I told her.

“Of course,” she said. “Anything.”

“I want you to come clean.”

Her face dropped.

“Don't worry: this isn't about Gilda.” I told her my plan. She wasn't thrilled about what I was asking her do, but I knew she wouldn't refuse me. I probably could've gotten a kidney from her if I wanted it.

As the moon flashed its lopsided grin, Jayne, Kay, and I made our way to the infirmary with our arms filled with the white and yellow flowers of the frangipani tree. There were guards posted outside the hut, but they had no problem letting us in. They didn't care who entered the building; it was who was exiting it that they were concerned with.

Kay lingered near the door while Jayne and I approached Ruth. She was at her desk near the main ward. The copy of
War and Peace
was open in front of her, though to my eyes it didn't look as if she'd made it any further in the book.

“Hiya,” I said.

“Miss Winter! I'm so glad to see you. I was quite concerned when you took off in the middle of the night.”

“I know. I'm sorry about that. I was getting cabin fever.” I tapped my fingers on her desktop. “Do you think we could see Violet? I understand she came in earlier. We thought we'd bring her some flowers to cheer her up.”

“Of course,” said Ruth. Before she could stand to direct us to where Violet was convalescing, Kay rounded the corner.

“Hello, Ruth.”

Ruth's hand went to her mouth just as a smile spread across her face. “Kay. I was wondering if you were ever going to come by.”

“I know and I'm sorry. There's something I need to tell you. Do you think we could talk privately?”

Ruth directed her to a room off to the side. I gestured to her that we were heading into the ward, and she waved us on.

Jayne continued toward the cordoned-off bed that Violet was lying in. I took an abrupt turn and began searching for Jack. It didn't take long to find him.

He was in the room Gilda had been laid out in. I heard him before I saw him. Even tired and sick, he still possessed that resonant actor's voice that could carry a whisper across a sea of people. I lingered outside his open door and eavesdropped as I tried to muster my courage. What would I say when I first saw him? I love you? Or would I just fall into his arms and hold on for dear life?

“They think I might lose it,” he said to someone.

“They're just saying that to punish you. Don't let them do anything until you're back in the States.” His companion was female and familiar.

“How'd you get in here anyway?”

I moved closer to try to catch sight of who was in the room with him. I could see a head full of curly dirty-blond hair.

“I told them I was your fiancée.”

I could hear the smile in his voice. “Clever girl.”

“Don't worry about the leg. I haven't let anything happen to you so far, have I?”

Jack came into view. Handsome, self-assured Jack. Thin, yes, pale, yes, but still capable of making my heart stop on sight.

He grinned. It was a tired grin but one that I knew too well. “No, you've been a peach. I don't know why you would risk everything for me like that.”

She turned in profile. There was no mistaking her identity. “It's because I love you. Surely you've figured that out by now.”

“I love you too, Candy,” he whispered.

I didn't stick around to watch him kiss her. Instead I ran out of the infirmary and kept running until I was somewhere in the jungle. Peaches had betrayed me. Jack had betrayed me. Was there anyone out there I could trust?

I hoped I was lost, that I would never leave those dark woods again, that my body would rot away like the corpses of the enemy, but eventually I found my way out and saw the camp in the distance. How had this happened? What was I talking about—it wasn't hard to put together. Candy, not me, had rescued him. Candy, not me, had nursed him back to health and kept him alive by bringing him supplies and arranging for the natives to do the same. And in the process they had fallen in love and I was completely forgotten.

But then I was forgotten before then, wasn't I? I'd never meant as much to him as he'd meant to me.

I walked around the camp in a daze, vaguely aware of the loudspeaker humming with activity. I didn't bother to try to make sense
of the words. Unless they were announcing Candy's untimely demise, I didn't care. Let the Japs bomb us. Nothing mattered anymore.

I couldn't go back to the WAC camp. Candy would be there soon, her heart-shaped face illuminated with the sweet memory of her time with Jack. Instead, I made my way out to the beach. I should be grateful he was alive, shouldn't I? Wasn't that enough? If you truly loved someone, shouldn't their happiness and safety be more important than your own? And if that wasn't the case for me, maybe I'd never really loved him. Maybe I was too selfish for it. That was why he had left me to begin with, because I was too goddamn selfish to understand why the war mattered to him. Candy knew. I was a silly little actress and she was a soldier. She was everything he wanted, everything I was incapable of being.

I screamed at the night sky as though the moon were somehow responsible for my plight. I wanted to hurt someone, but there was no one there to take my blows. Instead, I struck myself over and over until my thighs were covered with bruises.

 

I awoke with sand in my mouth and a dull ache in the lower half of my body.

I went in search of Jayne and Kay, expecting to find them at the high commissioner's house, but they weren't there. In fact, no one was. I looked at my watch to see if I'd misread the time. It was still early enough that someone should've been up there eating breakfast. Mystified, I walked around looking for a familiar face to query about the strange lack of activity. At last I spotted Dotty walking hurriedly across the road.

“Hey, Dotty!” I called. “Where is everyone?”

He stopped in his tracks and turned my way. “You didn't hear?” I shook my head. “Things got ugly off New Georgia last night. Two navy planes were shot down and
The McCawley
was hit. They're reporting high casualties. Needless to say, there's a call for immediate retaliation.”

“Is that why it's so quiet around here?”

“Yep. I think everyone's frozen solid waiting for word about the recovery.” He looked to his left and right before continuing. “I'm hearing that most of the men in Spanky's crew were lost.”

“Including Spanky?”

He nodded. So that was how this would all end for Spanky. Just like Gilda, he was going to die a hero.

I thanked Dotty for the news and went on my way. I arrived at our barracks to find everyone still sitting on their cots, trying to make sense of the news. The room was silent except for occasional sobs. Either they knew what had happened and who had been involved, or they were guessing that the outcome wouldn't be good. I looked for Candy but didn't see her. Violet was there though, one arm wrapped around Mac, the other one clutching a handkerchief. Perhaps she did possess some remorse. It couldn't have been comforting to know that the last words you spoke to a man before he went off to his death were a lie.

“Where have you been?” asked Kay.

“It's a long story. Where's Jayne?”

Kay jerked her head toward the right. “She was headed toward the latrine last I saw her.”

“Gotcha.” I started heading out the door.

“Rosie.” Kay's voice stopped me in my tracks. “She's pretty upset.”

“Don't worry—I'll take care of it.”

I thought the latrine was empty, but I eventually located Jayne's feet beneath one of the stalls. “Jayne? It's me. Sorry I disappeared last night. I just couldn't take coming back here.”

She didn't respond. Rather than giving her a chance to lambaste me for my inconsiderateness, I decided to plow ahead. After all: once she heard why I chose to spend the night elsewhere, she was going to feel like one dumb bunny for being mad at me.

“You're not going to believe what happened. I saw Jack all right, only he wasn't alone: his girlfriend was there.”

Jayne let out a sound like a hiccup. Was she drunk?

“In case you're confused,” I said. “His girlfriend is Candy Abbott. It turns out all those late-night excursions of hers weren't to help out the natives. They were acting as her go between and bringing Jack supplies. I suppose I should be grateful to her—at least someone was helping him. But as awful as it sounds, I felt more heartbroken at the idea that he was in love with someone else than I had when I thought he was dead.”

Still she said nothing. Kilroy stared down his long nose at me.

“Come on out of there. Please. I could really use a shoulder right now.”

The latrine door swung open. Jayne's face was red and puffy. Wads of toilet paper, stained with mascara and eye shadow, were twisted around her fingers.

“Why are you crying?” I asked.

“It's Billy,” she whispered. “His plane was shot down.” She paused an agonizing interval as though she needed extra air in her lungs to get through the next sentence. “He's dead.”

I went to her and took her in my arms. She collapsed against me and began to shudder with emotion. She was so small. Had she always been so tiny? Or had being here reduced her mass until even her bones seemed to have grown hollow?

“Oh, Jayne. I had no idea. When did you find out?”

She tried to talk, but the words couldn't free themselves. She sighed heavily once, twice, until the sound became a whisper. “A few hours ago.”

While I was out on the beach cursing Jack and Candy for being alive and in love, she was in this dingy latrine mourning the loss of the man she thought she was going to share the rest of her life with. But that's always how it was, wasn't it? Everything was about me. Even when she got shot. This whole damn trip had been me, me, me.

I ran my hand through her hair. “I'm so sorry. I should've been here.”

She shook her head against my chest. “You're here now. That's all that matters.”

 

Spanky and twenty-eight other men were killed when the Japanese torpedoed
The McCawley
. Billy was shot down on his first solo mission when he attempted to take out the Japanese from the air. Peaches was luckier. He made it out safe with two more kills to his credit. I didn't bother to congratulate him. Maybe someday I'll be willing to hear his side of the story about how Jack was found, but I'm not ready yet.

The day after the news hit Tulagi, Yoshihiro disappeared from the POW comp in the middle of the night. Word is he made a clean sneak, though nobody's been able to confirm how that happened.

Kay decided to retire from performing. She's ready to go home and live a normal life, with Dotty by her side.

Violet's mysterious side pain earned her—and Mac—a trip home. If her career has taken off since her return, the trades haven't picked up on it yet.

Jack's leg injury was extensive enough that they decided to send him back to the States to wait out his court-martial hearing. Candy received an emergency discharge to go with him. I didn't see either of them before they left.

As for Jayne and me, we've written to Harriet to see if she can help us get out of here sooner rather than later (sweetening our request with a promise to relay information about a certain supply stealing CO). Jayne wants to go home. She wants to meet Billy's family and be there for his funeral. When she asked me to go with her, I didn't pause before answering. It only seemed fair that if she was willing to accompany me on my journey, I would do the same for her.