Winter Storm (24 page)

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Authors: Barbara Winkes

Tags: #Eternal Press, #winter, #Relationship, #Barbara Winkes, #GLBT, #Contemporary, #Romance, #women, #Coming out, #Autumn Leaves, #Lesbian, #Lesbian Romance, #womens fiction

BOOK: Winter Storm
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“Oh no.”

“You’ve been seduced by—”

“Don’t even go there. I don’t claim to know all about you, so I can’t possibly judge. I even understand the—temptation, if you want—to lay the blame, but at least one of us is honest about who we are.”

“What is it that you want me to do?”

“This church is a shelter, a safe place for the people in this town. Don’t destroy that by associating it with harmful people and theses. That’s all.”

“Harmful for whom?” he asked. “Is there never a moment when you want your life back?”

“My life is everything it could possibly be, Father,” she said. “About Doctor Graham and those links on the website—”

“Don’t try,” he warned her. “I can assure you, you won’t win.”

“Thanks for the warning,” she said in the same sarcastic tone. “Have a good day.”

Rebecca tried to force the conversation out of her mind for the rest of the day. After dinner, they drove up to David’s to bring Dina back. The continuous rain had started to melt the snow away once more. Rebecca noted that Susan seemed a little more confident, her smiles more genuine. Maybe she and David had a similar conversation to the one she and Callie had, designing a road map for the future.

It was still hard to let one of her children out of her sight: Dina, because she was growing up and needed parental guidance, Maggie, because things could have turned out so much worse.

They had hardly left each other’s side since the police had found Maggie, but of course that would have to change with the start of another week and school. Rebecca was dreading the moment.

In the late afternoon, there was also a call from Pastor Amber Cole from Marin County.

“I’m sorry to disturb you on a Sunday afternoon,” she said, then laughed ruefully. “I’m only half serious. When else would I get things done? Anyway. Father Langdon told you about the group I’m starting? We meet every other week for now. It wouldn’t be a too long commute from Autumn Leaves.”

“It sounded interesting. I’m just not sure I qualify…”

“That’s the first question I hear from many. Don’t worry. We’re just starting for now. It’s not a test, and we don’t turn anyone away. I’m aware that circumstances differ greatly for most of us.”

Rebecca hadn’t missed her use of the word “us,” and it made her smile.

“I’d like to try,” she said.

“Good. Father Langdon also warned you that there might be work? I hope you’re not too swamped at the moment, because I could so use the help. We’ll pay you, of course.”

“I’d have the time.”

“That is so wonderful! Why don’t we meet, and I show you around a little, give you an idea what we need? I could fit you in Tuesday around noon.”

It was a good idea, because a busy schedule would keep her from obsessing about Maggie too much. Truth be told, Rebecca would have liked to sit in class with her, but she assumed that wouldn’t go over well with Maggie nor her teachers.

“Let’s do it, then. I’m looking forward to meeting you.”

“Likewise. Thank you, Rebecca.”

“Look at you,” Callie said proudly after she’d hung up the phone. “There’s your new contract.”

Things were righting themselves, and not just work-wise. If somebody had told her a year ago how her life would turn out, she probably would have been scared out of her mind. There was so much to learn still, but the idea of having a support system like this, that she hadn’t even known could exist, was comforting. There were still places where she fit in with everything that she was.

* * * *

“Good morning, Mrs. Lowman. Ms. Bryan.” Ms. Romano smiled brightly as she caught up to them on the sidewalk. “I’m glad to see you back, Maggie. I heard you had quite some exciting times.”

Maggie smiled at her shyly and nodded.

“I also meant to tell you that we got a lot of new books in the library, so maybe you’d like to check them out with me later?” She straightened a little, addressing both Rebecca and Callie, “Don’t worry. We’ll check up on her.”

“Thank you.”

Nevertheless she got blurry-eyed when Maggie walked away with the teacher, reminding her of the first school day.

“She is safe here,” Callie said, touching her arm gently. “They know what happened. They will take good care of her.”

“If you ask me, don’t have kids. It’s masochistic, and a lot more pain than—”

“You don’t mean that.”

“No.”

Callie smiled and laid an arm around her waist. “Come on. I’ll buy you breakfast. After that, I have some more ideas how we can spend the time until Maggie comes back.”

* * * *

Callie was fairly excited about Rebecca’s meeting with the pastor from Marin County, for several reasons. She hadn’t realized until recently that something had been missing for Rebecca, and this group could very well be that link. Callie’s idea of faith always been rather vague. She’d felt more like an outside observer, ready to let anyone live the way they wanted to as long as they didn’t hurt anybody.

For Rebecca, these questions always had a different, more urgent quality. If she could find answers with Amber’s group, Callie was all for it.

She was beyond relief herself knowing that Nicole had left town. Her presence had been hanging over Callie like a shadow. Apologies were a big step for Nicole, but Callie had learned that it didn’t mean she could trust her. Manipulation was what she did well, and it wasn’t something she was likely to give up, ever.

“Didn’t you say something about distraction?” Rebecca asked softly, inviting her back to reality.

The curtains were still drawn in the bedroom, and the lamp on the nightstand gave the room a soft glow. Heavy rain clouds had been darkening the sky again and made it seem much earlier.

“You’ve got something on your mind?”

Rebecca gave her a rueful smile. “I’ve had some nice seduction scene on my mind, but I’m not really good at that.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that. You’re doing fine.”

“You think?”

When she got a little nervous, the emotion colored her voice into a cadence Callie found herself unable to resist. Rebecca had probably no idea.

“Absolutely, I do.”

“Just be with me?”

Rebecca started to unbutton her shirt, her movements slow and deliberate, her gaze never leaving Callie’s. That part was clearly intentional.

“Yes,” Callie whispered, but she didn’t leave her place at the foot of the bed. She enjoyed just standing there, watching, very much aware of the heat spreading through her body.

“Good. You know I’ve been obsessing over this for a long time. If I could just be good enough—”

“Rebecca.”

“I know. I need to learn to trust.” Rebecca slipped her legs out of her skirt, and Callie could only stare. There had been some planning involved for sure, this morning, when Rebecca had put on black lace lingerie and these stockings. “I want to learn, but I realize I can only be me. I hope that means good enough for you.”

“Trust me. I want to be with you for the rest of my life. It might not be the right time yet, but when you’re ready, I want to marry you.”

Rebecca pulled her close for a kiss before she answered. “I want that too.”

* * * *

Ms. Romano brought Maggie to the gate, carrying a full bag of the new library books. “I just didn’t want to her to carry those all by herself,” she said with a smile, well knowing that it was more of a guise for looking after Maggie, and that Callie and Rebecca knew it too.

Callie, a little weak in the knees still, let Rebecca drive. She enjoyed the feeling. She loved seeing the new confidence in Rebecca.

They spent the afternoon overseeing Maggie’s homework, just talking and spending some time with her. There wasn’t any unbridgeable gap. For Maggie, this was now the home where she was feeling safe.

For the evening, they’d been invited to the re-opening of the Tunisian restaurant. Betty had offered to stay with Maggie, but they had decided to just take her and make it an early night, since Rebecca would drive to Marin County the next day.

They also took Rebecca’s car to the restaurant, and she agreed to be the driver for the evening as well.

Two glasses of wine were enough to put Callie into a somewhat melancholy, but happy mood. There might be more trials to come, but they hadn’t done so badly. They were still together, everyone doing their part. She caught Maggie’s gaze and smiled at her. While she might have not envisioned children in her life, ever, she was making adjustments just as Rebecca had. The here and now felt just right.

Better than that. It was perfect.

She’d gotten up, a tiny bit wobbly, to find the bathroom while Rebecca stayed behind to pay for their meal.
Why do those restrooms always have to be downstairs?
She wondered, giggling a little to herself. Callie didn’t mind an obstacle though. She had overcome many of them.

She stepped out of the stall, regarding herself in the mirror as she was washing her hands. There was a blush to her cheeks, caused by excitement and alcohol alike. It reminded her of the first time Rebecca had invited her over for dinner. She’d drunk more than she should have, the fantasy going wild in her head. The difference was, she’d been going home, lonely and frustrated in more than the sexual sense. Tonight, the woman she’d desired so much was going home with her.

Callie smiled at her reflection. An instant later, she jumped, banging her arm against the counter. The eye-watering pain told her she wasn’t dreaming. The mirror image remained.

“You left me no choice,” Nicole said. “You didn’t come to say good-bye, so I had to come back one more time.”

“Really?” She’d gone to stone-cold sober in a split second, or so it felt to Callie. “That I didn’t show up should have told you something in the first place.”

“I know.” Nicole took a step closer, making Callie uncomfortably aware that she had nowhere to back away. “It took me a while to realize you’d made up your mind, that you’d never take me back. Even though I do think you’re making a mistake. We were good together once, and we could get there again.”

Callie said nothing, mostly because she was waiting for Nicole to step aside so she could get out.

“You don’t want to, fine. I’m beginning to think you really love to be miserable.”

Callie shook her head with an unhappy laugh.

“You don’t get it. I’ve never been this happy, and no matter what you say, you can’t take that away from me. Meaner people have tried.”

“She’ll never make you happy.”

“If that’s your punch line, can I go now?”

“Callie, please. You know that I love you. I want what’s best for you.” She put her hand on Callie’s shoulder.

“Don’t touch me.” Good that her voice sounded rather cold, not like that of a scared little girl. Her emotion was much closer to the latter. Callie wasn’t sure whether or not she wanted Rebecca to come looking for her. She just wanted to pretend this moment never happened in an otherwise perfect day.

“She can’t, because she doesn’t know you, all your secrets, like I do.”

“What if she does?”

Nicole shook her head, probably attempting to look sad. She didn’t quite pull it off. “I don’t think so—or did you tell her about the troubled girl who…”

She didn’t have to go further. Callie felt the color drain from her face. She reached for the sink behind her.

“You can’t.” Just moments ago, she had felt warm and safe, now the chill inside was making her shiver.

“Oh, I don’t plan to. Just be careful not to drink too much when you’re with her. You’re kind of chatty when you’re drunk. That’s how I learned about it.”

“You want to blackmail me?”

“No way. I just came to say good-bye. You think that I’m so mean, but this is really on you. I won’t go to her, because I still care about you. It will always be between you, though, and isn’t it better to end things before they blow up in your face?”

Nicole leaned forward to kiss her neck, then she straightened with a smile.

“I’ll see you around, Callie. Take care.”

“Go to hell,” Callie whispered when the door had closed, then she took a paper towel to wash her face. She’d just erase this conversation from her memory like it never happened. It wouldn’t have been the first time. She was fairly good at repressing things, and this would be no exception.

Callie cried later, though, when Rebecca was asleep beside her. She just let the tears fall, pressing her hand against her mouth so as not to wake her.

She believed Nicole too often, and it always ended in misery. She couldn’t afford to let the shadow of a doubt to remain.

Callie thought of Rebecca wondering if they should spend some time apart, deciding otherwise. The mere idea was upsetting her so much it created an almost physical pain.

What if Nicole was right?

In the early morning, they made love. She couldn’t be close enough to Rebecca, couldn’t hold her close enough, and she nearly cried again.

“You’re going to miss me?” Rebecca whispered. “I’ll only be gone for a few hours.”

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