Wise Follies
Authors: Grace Wynne-Jones
| Wise Follies |
| Grace Wynne-Jones |
| Accent Press (2012) |
Why waving goodbye to Mr Wonderful may be the wisest folly of all... Alice Evans has got a GSOH, GFCH (gas-fired central heating), a cat and a Mitsubishi colour portable. People have told her she can look pretty if she tries. She's thirty-eight and single, so will someone please pass the message on?
What Alice thinks she needs is Mr Wonderful. A man like her pottery teacher, James Mitchel, who's warm and wise and gorgeous. But as one long, hot summer disappears with no sign of her snaring the man of her dreams, Alice is forced to consider the alternatives.
Should she settle for Mr Mediocre, her dull but dependable ex boyfriend Eamon, and spend the rest of her days trying to like golf?
Or could there be another way for a woman to ditch all the longing - and really start living her life?
Wise Follies
Grace Wynne-Jones
Published by Accent Press 2007
Copyright © 1997 Grace Wynne-Jones
ISBN 1905170637/9781905170630
The right of Grace Wynne-Jones to be identified
as the author of this work has been
asserted by her in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental
.
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, electrostatic, magnetic tape, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise without prior written permission from the publisher: Accent Press, The Old School, Upper High Street, Bedlinog, Mid Glamorgan, CF46 6SA
Printed and bound in the UK
Cover design by Joëlle Brindley
The publisher acknowledges the financial support of the Welsh Books Council
Extract from
Reference Back
by Philip Larkin reproduced by kind permission of Faber and Faber.
Extract from
Come To The Edge
by Christopher Logue reproduced by kind permission of Faber and Faber.
Extracts from
The Road Less Travelled
by M. Scott Peck M.D. have been reproduced by kind permission of Random House
U.K.
.
Copyright © 1978 M. Scott Peck, M.D.
PRAISE FOR WISE FOLLIES
‘
Grace Wynne-Jones has a wicked sense of humour which enlivens every page…
Alice
and her friends, and her hilarious magazine assignments, at times leave the reader rocking with laughter.’ THE IRISH TIMES
‘Wise Follies is a smooth refreshing read… Bring tissues and a paper bag to laugh into when you read this book outside the privacy of your home.’
IRISH TATLER
‘This fresh new voice will appeal to women of all ages.’ PUBLISHING NEWS
‘A quirky, hilarious novel.’ WHAT’S ON
‘Sharp, funny and moving.’ WOMAN & HOME
‘When you think Alice, think Bridget Fonda chasing Matt Dillon in ‘Singles’, think Kirsty MacColl singing, ‘I put you on a pedestal/You put me on the pill’…this is a novel about finding yourself, and we can’t but cheer for Alice’s gradual emancipation.’ IRISH EXAMINER
‘A superior romance full of wit, honesty and perception.’ RTE GUIDE
‘A gently amusing account of finding love in the nineties, an enjoyable read written with an observant wit.’ BOOKS MAGAZINE.
‘This may sound like Bridget Jones territory but Alice is less spiky, certainly drinks less and makes more effort to make a life for herself… The writing is full of quirky wit and energy.’ ‘Book of the Week’ THE EXPRESS
A big bouquet of thanks is due to my wonderful agent, Lisa Eveleigh of the Lisa Eveleigh Literary Agency for all her insight, support and encouragement. Bundles of thanks are also due to
Also by Grace Wynne-Jones:-
Ordinary Miracles 1905170645 £6.99
Praise for Ordinary Miracles
‘Ordinary Miracles has that rare combination of depth, honesty and wit…and all of this backed by a deliciously soft, gentle and loving humour…If you try one new author, try Grace Wynne-Jones.’ - OK MAGAZINE
‘Ordinary Miracles is about relationships and love and sex and a little bit of guilt. Jasmine is a worried and witty heroine…an engagingly high-spirited and perceptive debut.’ - THE IRISH INDEPENDENT
‘Wynne-Jones’s sense of humour and the self-mockery of her heroine makes it both funny and touching.’ - TIMES LITERARY SUPPLEMENT
Ready or Not? 1905170653 £6.99
Sometimes you’ve got to forgive the person you were to be the person you can be....
The Truth Club 1905170661 £6.99
A
tender, wry look at families, truth and love.
Contents
‘The heart has its reasons that reason knows
not of.’ Blaise Pascal
My name is Alice
Evans. I’m thirty-eight, single, and very keen on art and gardening. I’m also growing increasingly fond of my cat and watch far more television than I used to. I’ve been celibate for over a year and occasionally find small spiky hairs on my chin. I don’t think these two things are necessarily connected. I think my not having sex has more to do with my being rather disillusioned with men in general. Get me on the subject of men on a chin-hair day and I can sound as knowledgeably resigned as any political pundit. This is because I’ve been waiting to meet my Mr Wonderful for years now, but he still hasn’t swooped me off on his white charger. In fact, I think by this stage he’s probably married or become bisexual or a Buddhist.
In my more realistic romantic moments I remind myself that men are not the answer anyway. They are just another question…and a very puzzling one at that. There’s even a book called
Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus
. Certainly many of my romantic entanglements have a fairly inter-galactic feel about them. I wish I could summon Captain Jean-Luc Picard from Star Trek to help me sort them out.
‘Love yourself’ – that’s what the self-help books scream at me. And I’ve been trying to, I really have. But the sex isn’t great and when I give myself a hug my arms only reach my shoulders. I know so many lovely women, I dearly wish I could become a lesbian. The thing is, I’m just not that way inclined.
As you may have guessed, I didn’t expect to be single at this stage in my life. Neither did my housemate Mira. We were under the impression that our Mr Wonderful would just inevitably turn up, as he usually seems to in films. As time passed and the biological clock started ticking, we attempted to speed up the screening process. In an effort to be businesslike we even drew up a long list of men we would not countenance:
