Wish

Text Copyright: Janet
Gurtler 2012

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be
reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means including
information storage and retrieval systems—except in the case of brief
quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews—without permission in
writing from its publisher, Janet Gurtler.

The characters and events
portrayed in this book are fictitious or are used fictitiously. Any similarity
to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental and not intended by the
author.

A
bad feeling chomped on my stomach lining and the sixteen candles on my cake
slid into the icing, sad and defeated as if they knew how much I sucked at
being a teenager.

“Be
careful what you wish for,” Nana said like it mattered at all.

I could wish for a carefree, loving Mom who baked cookies
after school and made cocoa for our heart to heart talks. Or how about a cool
Dad who would mess up my hair and drive me to cheerleading try-outs. Stupid, yes,
but kind of better than reality.

      “Hurry up and make your wish, Syd. Blow out the candles
before you burn down the house.” My best friend Stevie loves cake and hates
waiting. Her eyes squinted together shifting into a sort of uni-brow and she
stuck her hip out. Her real name is Stephanie but she only answers to Stevie. After
her mom took off when she was seven, Stevie got a new attitude and a new
nickname. All the tiara’s and pink shirts from her childhood went to Goodwill.

I
glanced at Keith, my other best friend and another semi- permanent fixture in
our house. The most normal person I knew. He leaned against the kitchen wall with
a smile that suggested he had a secret. A normal expression for him. His hands
were tucked in the front pockets of his jeans. When he had a growth spurt last
year and got kind of hot, Stevie and I agreed we would never fall for him and
ruin the circle of friendship karma.

The truth was I would ever be cheerleader material. And my
dear old Dad disappeared pretty much right after I was born. I guess he wanted
to mess up more than my hair. And my mom? She’d been gone for almost a whole
year.

 “Dude, seriously,” Stevie said. “We’re not getting any
younger here.”

I
closed my eyes and wished for the first thing that came to mind and then blew
out the candles.

Stevie
jumped up and down pointing. “One candle stayed lit. One boyfriend, one lover.”
She bopped around like punk rocker in a mosh pit.  

Nana
cleared her throat and Stevie stopped bouncing, but didn’t stop grinning.

“Excuse
me while I puke,” Cody said. As my older brother, I guess the idea of me with a
lover seemed kind of horrifying to him.

“Me
too,” I said. I had a few things to accomplish first. Even though I was
officially sixteen, my own body seemed against the idea of me growing up. I was
still waiting to grow real boobs, and even more horrifying waiting to get my
period. Yes. At sixteen.

Stevie
stuck her tongue out at Cody and they continued to squabble.

“What’d
you wish for?” Nana slid up beside me and spoke quietly in my ear.

“A
pony,” I lied. She glanced around the kitchen and then went to the window and
looked in the back yard.  I watched her, frowning.  She’d been acting quirky
all day.  

To
distract her, I interrupted Cody and Stevie’s bickering. “I want to say something,”
I announced in a loud voice.

“Speech, speech!” Stevie forgot Cody and re-focused on me, as
she should, since let’s refresh, yes, it was my birthday.

I
took a deep breath for courage. “Okay. Let’s see. Thanks to my two best friends
for helping me celebrate my birthday, and to my brother who had to.”

Cody booed and Keith shifted from one leg to another and
grinned.

“And Nana. I know it’s been kind of a hard year and it’s nice
to have the people I depend on, uh, well, around me.”

“Your Mom would be here if she could,” Nana said. She’d moved
back to the table and didn’t look ready to jump from her skin anymore.

I swallowed the lump that instantly formed in my throat. “Uh.
I guess so. If she wasn’t, you know. Crazy.”

“Sydney,” Cody said and made a grumpy cat face.

Stevie lunged forward and threw her arms around me, squeezing
tight. I squeezed back hard. 

“Great. Your lover is Stevie.” Cody rolled his eyes. “No surprise
the way you two are always slobbering all over each other.”

Stevie pulled away from me and stuck her tongue out at Cody. “Don’t
hate on us because we’re not emotionally repressed boys,” she said and looked
pointedly from his white socks to the tip of his head. “And. Um. Nice freshly
pressed pants, Code. I mean, what eighteen-year-old boy irons his jeans?” 

I tuned out the rest of Stevie’s insults and Cody’s
comebacks. They pretended to hate each other but really the two of them should
get a room. Except she’s my best friend in the world, and he’s my brother. So
that would be almost like incest and totally gross. 

“That’s enough you two.” Nana grabbed a big knife off the
table and opened her mouth. I wished she wouldn’t say anything more about Mom.

She closed her mouth. “Okay.” She handed me the big knife.
“Do the honors, Sydney, it’s your day.”

I cut a tiny sliver of cake and plopped in on a plate and
held it out to my brother. “For you, Cody.”

He crossed his arms. “Funny. Cut me a man size piece.”

“It’ll take more than a piece of cake to make you a man,” Stevie
said.

I
added more cake to his plate and then cut and handed a piece of cake to Nana
and Stevie and then finally a big piece to Keith. His eyes twinkled when he
smiled. That didn’t happen often enough lately.

I
slid my finger around the pan and scooped up excess icing and then took a piece
of cake for myself. My tiny birthday party, my big piece of cake. Just the way
I’d wanted it. No fuss. No big blowout. I slid icing under my tongue. Yum. My
favorite food. Nutritional value, zero. Comfort value, off the charts. The cake
eased some of the unexplained anxiety racing around my belly like a hamster
running on a wheel. It started when I woke up and I didn’t shake it all day.

Keith bent down to pick something up and then stepped forward
and thrust a box with wrinkled wrapping paper covered in baby blue footprints
at me.

“It’s the only wrapping paper we have in the house. Six
thousand Baby Showers.” He shrugged. “Happy Birthday Syd.”

I put down my cake and smiled. Keith’s Mom re-married last
year, and his twin brothers were only a few months old.

I tugged on the paper and yanked out a beautiful black velvet
box. I glanced at Keith but he was shoveling the last of his cake in his mouth.
I flipped the lid on the velvet box up and squealed when I looked inside. “Oh
My God, Keith! This is awesome.”

He lifted a shoulder and put his empty plate on the kitchen
table. I petted the necklace inside the box, a black rope with a cool pendant.
It was a silver symbol, totally funky and retro. I loved it on sight.

“I thought you’d like it.” He ran his fingers through his
long curls. “It’s no big deal.”

      “Yet for my birthday you got me a Road Kill t-shirt?” Stevie
said.

Nana leaned across me and snatched the box out of her hands.
She held it up to her nose, studying the necklace and then grabbed at her heart
with her other hand. “I should have known this would happen.”

“What? That I would get gifts? On my birthday?” I glared at
her and shot Keith a look of apology. The crazy was back. I pounced at Nana grabbing
the box out of her hands. I eased the necklace from the box and held it up
around my neck and fastened the clasp. It nestled on my skin, feeling cool and
comfortable. Like it belonged.

Nana made some odd noises and while I mentally willed her to stay
out of the crazy place, I lunged at Keith, wrapping my arms around him. My head
barely came to his shoulder. He smelled like baby powder and felt perfect. I
wanted to stay pressed this close to him for the rest of my birthday.

Unfortunately, he pushed me away and took a step backward. “Like
I said, no big deal.”

      Stevie leaned towards my neck, her nose wrinkled up. “Um.
VBD. Very Big deal. It’s very Harry Winston.” Her favorite jewelry designer.
For a girl who dresses predominantly in black and pretends she’s tougher than a
bloodstain, fragments of a Princess phase, lingered in unusual ways.

      I put my fingers protectectivly on the pendant and
softly rubbed. A great sense of peace settled inside me. The best I’d felt all
day. I opened my mouth and yawned, and bathed in the sensation that things were
going to be all right after all.

“I guess it’s gift time.” Cody disappeared from the kitchen
and re-appeared holding a plastic Safeway bag. He thrust it at me.

“For little ole me?” I teased him.

He rolled his eyes and went to get himself another piece of
cake while I reached inside the grocery bag. I squealed when I pulled out a
turquoise and black miniskirt.  Plaid.   I imagined wearing it as I passed my
crush Mike Cameron in the hallway. He’d take one look at me and push his extra
body part, Jenny Truman away. I frowned at the thought of Jenny. The evil
Goddess of tenth grade who had never liked me. Even though I’d done nothing to
her. Except breathe the same air. And secretly lust after her boy toy.

I’d been coveting the skirt online but didn’t have the funds
to buy it.  I frowned wondering how he’d afforded it.

“It was on sale,” Cody told me, interpreting my frown
perfectly. “Stevie told me you liked it.”

I glanced at both of them. When had they planned this out?

“Your mom is going to have a fit when she sees how short your
skirts are getting,” Nana muttered.

The moisture in my throat dried up then. “Yes, well I guess
it’s good she’s in the Looney bin then, isn’t it,” I said bitterly.

“Sydney.” Nana’s face paled and she moved to my side and slipped
her hand around my waist. Her frail fingers were warm and comfortable on the
bare skin between my jeans and the shirt I wore. I inhaled her fresh scent. She
smelled like old lady perfume or laundry detergent? Tide cologne?

“We’ve talked about that,” she said softly so only I could
hear her.

The anxiety in my belly twanged up again, as if I were on a
rollercoaster ride and dropping down. “Just kidding.” I lifted my thumb nail to
my mouth and chewed.

“Hey, I got something for you too.” Stevie jumped in to
lighten the dark family moment and glanced at Nana.

“Don’t be mad at me,” she told her and then she squeaked with
excitement and ran out of the room. She returned a few seconds later with a
huge grin on her face and a big box under her arm. There were holes on the side
of the box. She dumped it in my arms. It shifted. I lifted the lid, peeking
inside.

I gasped. “Oh. My. Gosh. I can’t believe you!”

“Stevie, what did you do?” Nana didn’t beat around the bush
with Stevie. She was one of us. Kids she liked to boss around.  

“Cody promised you wouldn’t mind,” Stevie said and batted her
eyelashes.  I glance at Cody and he was hiding a grin under his hand.

Nana hurried forward and looked inside the top of the box.
“Oh dear!” she said.

I reached inside and pulled out the completely white kitten. He
blinked at me with big round blue eyes. He didn’t have a speck of color on him
and was a big ball of fluffy cuteness. I loved him the moment I laid eyes on
him. 

I held the cuddly soft kitten to my cheek. “Can I keep him?”
I pleaded rubbing his fur against my mouth.

“I can’t believe you didn’t ask me first, Stevie,” Nana said,
but her voice was soft.  “Not that it would have mattered.”

“He was free,” Stevie said holding up both hands with a shrug.
As if it weren’t her fault. “My dad took me to the shelter. I saw this guy and
knew Syd had to have him. Even my dad agreed and you know how he is. I had to
take him or someone else would have scooped him up. How could I not, Nans? Look
how cute he is. And you’ve been telling Sydney she could get a cat for the
longest time.”