Wish List (27 page)

She sensed the immediate change in him and allowed herself to be carried with it. One moment his arms cradled her, soothing her, the next they became her prison, hard, strong, inescapable.

His hands were in her hair, on her breasts, on the soft flesh of her inner thighs. He stirred her, demanded of her, rewarded her with the adoring attention of his lips to those territories his hands had already claimed. And when he possessed her it was with a joyful abandon that evoked a like response in her—hard, fast, then slower and sweeter.

She murmured her pleasure and gave him the caresses he loved. Release was there, within their grasp, but like two moths romancing a flame, they played in the heat and postponed the exquisite instant when they would plunge into the inferno.

“Ahhh,” Lex said.

“Oh my,” Ariel said.

“Woof,” Snookie barked softly.

“Ahhh,” Lex said.

“Love me, love my dog,” Ariel said.

“Forever and ever,” Lex said.

“And then some. C’mere, Snookie.”

The shepherd trotted over to the pile of cushions. She lowered her massive head and licked Lex’s face. Then she walked around to Ariel’s side and licked her face. She woofed once, then twice. They watched as she trotted toward the door. She inched it closer to the jamb, allowing just enough room to get out into the hallway.

“Ahhh,” Lex said.

“Guess that makes us official,” Ariel said.

“Guess so,” he said as he smothered her face with kisses.

“It’s wonderful. We get to love again, and again, and again,” Ariel said.

Twelve

“It’s sad when you pack up belongings,” Ariel said. “At least this time, I know it’s for good. Why do I feel like we just did this? I wish somebody would tell me where this stuff comes from.”

“You’re a pack rat. You have your first pair of knee sox. Ariel, I need to talk to you. Serious stuff. Don’t turn away from me. We can’t . . . avoid this . . . Both of us know it isn’t working. I don’t like Bonsall. You and Lex don’t need me, you have each other. That’s okay, it’s the way it’s supposed to be. I’m selfish, I want things to be the way they’ve been for the past thirty-five years. It can’t be, and I’m realist enough to know it. You know it, too, you just don’t want to look it in the eye and deal with it.”

“Dolly, what will you do? What’s wrong with Bonsall? Mr. Able said you could stay on here and work that goldarn computer and he’s willing to pay you handsomely. You could drive down every day. I wouldn’t make demands on you, Dolly. Please . . . don’t go.”

“Shhh,” Dolly said, taking Ariel in her arms. “You know better than anyone that nothing in this life is forever. This is your time, Ariel, to be the wife you always wanted to be with the man you love. He needs you. You’ll have each other. We’ll always be friends, that will never change. I’ll be a phone call away. We’ll visit. I’ll be back for your wedding and yes, I’m going to be your matron of honor. I think it’s wonderful that you two are getting married all over again.”

“Please, Dolly, don’t go. I’ll try and spend more time with you. Lex will understand.” Ariel hated herself for begging, for showing her raw emotions.

“Don’t you see . . . did you hear what you just said? You said you would try. Lex is your top priority now, not me. Of course he’d understand because he is a good, kind, caring man. But, it will get old real quick. There are no choices here, Ariel, no options. It’s what it is.” Dolly continued to cradle her best friend in the whole world, crooning softly.

“Dolly . . .”

“Don’t even think about it, Ariel. You cannot choose between Lex and me. I’m okay with this.”

“You still haven’t told me where you’re going. God, Dolly, this is worse than . . . than having someone die. You aren’t getting any younger. You’re almost . . .”

“Sixty! Go ahead, Ariel, say it. It’s a damn number, and let me tell you something else. One of the stunt coordinators who came to help pick the avocados has been calling me. Actually, I kind of like him. He’s my age and he has a little house up in the hills. Okay, it’s a big house up in the hills. The property has a cottage on it and he’s promised me he’ll rent it to Carla, who, by the way, just snagged herself a real good role on one of those nighttime soaps. I’m going to be taking care of both of them. You know, cooking, cleaning . . . whatever. I have enough money put by so I’ll be comfortable. I know how to be frugal, and in a few years I can draw on my social security.”

Ariel flopped down on the side of the bed. Dolly was right, nothing was forever. How stupid she was to think things would remain the same. Selfish, too. She stared at her dearest friend and wondered if she had to make a choice, who she would choose, Dolly or Lex. She shook her head to clear her thoughts. “So you’re going to take care of Carla and what’s-his-name. Is it really what you want, Dolly? If it is, then I can accept it. I don’t want you to settle for something as a way out. We can talk this to death and come up with something. I want you to be happy. If you aren’t happy, I can’t be happy. That’s the bottom line.”

“It sounds, Ariel, like you don’t believe what I’m telling you,” Dolly said with an edge to her voice.

“Of course I believe you. In all our years together, I never once questioned anything you said, and you damn well know it. If you’re haying second thoughts, now is the time to voice them so we can work it out.
We
, Dolly. You and me. There wasn’t anything we couldn’t settle or solve when we both worked at it.”

“I like Max. He likes me. Who knows, maybe it will lead to something. I think I’d like it if it did go somewhere. You should see his house, Ariel, it’s gorgeous. He has a big garden, grows his own vegetables, and he has all kinds of berry bushes and he loves blackberry pie. We have a lot in common. We both know the movie business. He doesn’t cat around. You have to be careful today.”

“If he’s so damn wonderful, why do you have to clean up after him? Why can’t you get an apartment and date him? Just how old is this guy? Another thing, Dolly, old men are usually looking for someone to take care of them in their twilight years. They’re looking for nurses! I read that in . . . in something.”

“So what!! He’s agreed to pay me $750 a week. He says he’ll contribute to my IRA’s. He’ll be paying for my social security and health care and boy, are they good benefits. He has his own little business—he hires his stuntmen and provides all kinds of good stuff for them. I’ll be on the payroll. What more could I ask for? Plus, I get to do all the cooking and baking I want to do. You know how I love to watch men eat.”

“What’s this paragon of virtue’s name?” Ariel asked sourly.

“Max Petrie.”

“What about Carla?”

“She’s doing all right. She told me to tell you she asked for a sizable advance so she can pay you back some of the money she owes you. She held out for some big bucks and she got it. She said it was the only way she could ever get enough money together to repay you. I’m real proud of her. Are you proud of her, Ariel?”

Ariel burst into tears. “Of course,” she whispered. “I told her more than once she didn’t have to pay me back. I helped her because I wanted to and because she needed help and no one else cared. I never expected to be paid back. She’s my friend, for God’s sake. I don’t want her money—tell her to bank it. She has no nest egg at all.”

“You have to take it, Ariel. It’s important to Carla to repay you. You’re just upset that she doesn’t need you anymore. You should be happy for her, and for me. Look at us—you, me, Carla—we’re all coming out on top. My big question is, what are you going to do all day up in Bonsall? You know, after Lex goes off to work. How are you going to fill your hours? Did you get that far in your thinking, Ariel?”

Ariel listened to the edge creeping back into Dolly’s voice. “No, I haven’t given it a whole lot of thought. You rammed me between the eyes with your decision. I’m trying to sell this business back to Mr. Able, trying to get this house ready to be put back on the market, and then there’s my wedding. It’s turning into some kind of national event. If you want something off the top of my head, I’ve thought, a little, about opening a small acting studio in town. I also thought, a little, about maybe opening a children’s theatre. They’re just thoughts at this time, but they do keep coming back so I know I’ll pursue something. I’m not going to stagnate on the ranch. It won’t be an all-day thing—weekends, four or five hours a day. Lex offered to help. It’s something we can do together if we decide to go ahead with it.”

Dolly stared at her for a long time. When she was satisfied that Ariel was telling the truth, she grinned from ear to ear. “That makes me feel a little better about leaving. I’d hate to think of you turning into some dumb, fat, happy housewife eating bonbons and watching your old movies all day long.”

“Not likely. I wish you were staying long enough to give me some cooking lessons. That pile of cookbooks on the counter scares the hell out of me.”

“Doesn’t Lex like egg and ketchup sandwiches?” Dolly teased.

“If you put refried beans on the top, he does. Actually, he’ll eat anything. He’s not a bit fussy.”

“That’s good, Ariel, because you can’t cook worth a damn even using a cookbook. You could hire someone.”

“I thought about that. Tiki promised to come out and help. There’s always Lean Cuisine. God, Dolly, I’m going to miss you. You aren’t even gone and I feel so . . . so . . . alone. So many years, Dolly. I wish . . . I wish I knew what the future holds for both of us. Scratch that, I don’t want to know. Besides, I’m tired of wishing my life away.”

“Now, that’s the Ariel I know and love. C’mon, let’s get cracking here. If we put some gusto into it, we can get this done in another hour and haul it all up to Bonsall.”

“What am I going to do with all this stuff, Dolly? Lex’s house is furnished. His stuff is all so . . . manly. There isn’t a doodad in the whole place. I need a few ruffles and frills. He said I could redecorate, but I think he was . . . he likes things the way they are.”

“Then why don’t you keep this house instead of selling it? You could come down here whenever ranch life . . . you know, gets to be too much. You spent a fortune decorating this place. It’s not like you need the money. This is the 90’s, you know. Women do things like this all the time. They don’t want to give up what they worked for all their lives, not to mention their identities.”

“I have thought about it. However, while Lex didn’t come right out and say so, I know he would see it as temporary on my part. Don’t ask me how I know this, I just do. Both his feet are firmly planted in another decade and I don’t even know which decade it is. Part of me wants to keep things the way they are, the other part—the part that loves Lex heart and soul—wants me to give it all up so I can snuggle in with him. God, did you hear what I just said? I’m not making a decision today. Like Scarlett, I’ll worry about that tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow is going to come sooner than you think, Ariel.”

“I love you, Dolly, I really do.”

“And I love you, Ariel Hart Sanders.”

Ariel smiled through her tears, knowing Dolly’s eyes were as wet as her own.

“This is . . . ah . . . really . . . tasty,” Lex said.

“You’re lying, Lex. It’s awful. I never said I could cook. In fact, I made a point of telling you I couldn’t and you said, and this is a direct quote, we’ll live on love. It’s meatloaf. That was your next question, wasn’t it?”

“I’m not complaining. This is my second slice. What’s this green stuff?”

“Brussels sprouts. Dolly said I should cut up onion and celery, but we didn’t have any, so I substituted. She said that’s what makes a good cook. I don’t like to cook, so that means I’ll never be a good cook. I know the rice is sticky. Dolly said I was to put my finger in the water up to my knuckle. She didn’t say which knuckle. I guess it was the first one.” She was so agitated she started to cry when Snookie wouldn’t touch the meatloaf on her plate.

“Ariel, honey, it doesn’t matter. We can eat frozen food. It isn’t important to me. We can hire a cook. Now,” he said, moving his chair closer to hers. “Now, tell me what’s really wrong. It’s Dolly, isn’t it? Call her, Ariel.”

“I already called her seven times today. I can’t call her again. Am I so insecure I can’t get by without my friend? I want to be happy for her. Look at Snookie! She won’t eat, she doesn’t want to play. She misses Dolly, too.”

“Let’s face facts here, Ariel. Snookie isn’t eating because she doesn’t like your cooking. That will change someday. They have gourmet dog food. I’m sure she misses Dolly. And the reason she isn’t playing is because . . . she’s . . . I wasn’t going to tell you this until Frankie confirmed it, but your dog is in the family way.”

“No! How’d that happen?” Ariel gasped.

“In the usual way,” Lex drawled.

“Oh, my God, I have to call Dolly.”

“There you go! Now you have a reason to call her. Go for it, Ariel.”

She was off the chair like a shot, punching out Dolly’s number, a smile on her face from ear to ear.

Lex leaned back in his chair, his eyes misty with pain as he watched his animated lover talk to Dolly. He winced when he heard her say, “Of course you can be the godmother and yes, you get the pick of the litter. When can you come down? That’s wonderful. Bring some food. The meatloaf was awful, but Lex ate two slices. I’ll be here, Dolly.

“She’s coming down tomorrow. It’s a whole month since I’ve seen her. She said she’d stay overnight and then she’ll be back in time for our June wedding. Ohhhh, life is good, isn’t it, Lex?”

“The best,” he said quietly. “Let’s go for a walk. Snookie can use the exercise.”

Twenty minutes into the walk, Lex said, “Are you happy, Ariel?”

“Of course I’m happy. But I do miss Dolly. I don’t expect you to understand, but try. Please. It’s important to me.”

“If you had to make a choice, Ariel, could you do it?”

“Dolly asked me the same thing. I didn’t have an answer for her, either. If you absolutely must have an answer, the best I can come up with is, I’d walk away from both of you. You both mean so much to me, each in a different way. I just wish she was a little closer. You know, a neighbor. I never knew my neighbors. I guess it’s my fault—I never had the time to explore friendships. I have this feeling, Lex, that Dolly isn’t happy. She’ll never admit it. She liked Bonsall, she told me so, then she changed her mind. In the beginning, I had no time for her, and I think she took it as rejection. I know her so well. This was a way for all of us to save face, whatever the hell that means.”

“Let’s put our heads together and see if there isn’t a way to get her back here.”

“Really, Lex, do you think . . . is it possible?”

“Asa’s younger brother, recently widowed these past ten years—at least that’s the way Asa puts it—is coming to San Diego to help Asa out at the trucking company. Maggie doesn’t want any part of it so Pete said he’d pitch in. Asa says he’s a cranky curmudgeon, just what Dolly needs. Maybe we could sort of . . . you know . . . make her forget Max. How do you know she’s not happy?”

“I can hear it in her voice. She’s putting up a real good front. Don’t forget, I know Dolly better than anyone in the world. Besides, Carla called and said Dolly was miserable and she made me promise not to tell she called.”

“It has to look like it’s Dolly’s idea to come back,” Lex said.

“Lex, look at me. Do you . . . what I’m trying to say is . . . are you . . . were you . . . ?”

“Jealous? Hell, no. I love Dolly. I accepted from the gitgo that you were the banana and she was the peel. I never wanted to change that. Even if I could, I wouldn’t. I know how important friends are. I just want you to be happy, Ariel. If you’re happy, I’m happy. Let’s go back and make a plan.” He kept smacking his hands together dramatically.