Wish You Were Dead (19 page)

That was the oldest piece of gossip in the world. Or, at least, in my world. “Adam was never my boyfriend. He was … 
is
my friend. That’s all we ever were. I don’t know where that rumor started, but it’s not true now and never was.”

Sharon gazed steadily at me in the mirror.

“I heard a rumor that you’re planning to move to San Francisco after graduation,” I said.

She stared down at the sink, shook her head, and blinked hard. I’d never seen her so vulnerable, as if all her defenses had been stripped away. “I was, but … forget it.”

“Hey, listen,” I said. “There’s something I need to ask you. I know this is the totally wrong time, but it’s important.”

She looked at me in the mirror again. “What?”

“Do you know what halothane is?” I asked.

Her expression changed. “It’s an anesthetic.”

“I heard that the police have been asking people about it. And since your father’s a vet?”

She nodded. “They asked him. A detective came to our house.”

“Did he say why?”

“I wasn’t there,” she said. “My dad told me later.… Listen, Madison, I know I’ve been a real bitch, but you don’t know what it’s like, okay? Anyway, you want to know the truth? I really do hope they’re okay.” She went past me and out the bathroom door.

I stared at the door, feeling amazed. What in the world could have brought that on?

A moment later I left the girls’ room. Lunch wasn’t over yet, but I didn’t feel like going back to the cafeteria. I stood in the hall for a moment, not sure where to go. The Safe Rides office, I thought, to see if I’d left my red cashmere scarf there on Saturday night.

I pushed open the door, expecting the lights to be off, and was surprised that they were on. A drawer banged shut. Tyler was sitting at the desk, trying not to look rattled.

“Hi,” I said uncertainly, not knowing what to think. My emotions were a jumble of conflicting impulses. Should I ask him what he’d been doing? Should I ask why he walked away from me in the hall that morning? Or should I place my hand on his and move close, hoping he’d kiss me the way he had at my house?

“Hi,” he replied. We stared at each other. He had to know
that I knew he’d been up to something. I waited. When Tyler looked away, I knew he wasn’t going to tell me. Suddenly my feelings focused into anger. He had no right to keep secrets at a time like this. I reached past him and opened the desk drawer. Inside was the Safe Rides log.

“That’s what you were looking at,” I said, more as a statement than a question.

“Madison, I told you—”

“No!” I cut him short. “People’s lives are at stake. If you really know what’s going on, you have to tell the police.”

He didn’t answer. I took out the ring binder and opened it on the desk. “You’re thinking that all three of them had something to do with Safe Rides. Lucy disappeared after we gave her that ride home. Adam vanished after he called for a ride. And Courtney was part of Safe Rides.”

Tyler eased out of the chair and stood up.

“Why won’t you tell the police what you know?” I asked. “Or at least, if
you
won’t tell them, tell me and I’ll go tell them.”

“I better go.” He started for the door, but I blocked his path. He looked startled.

“I want you to tell me why you were looking in the log.”

We locked eyes. For that one moment I wasn’t thinking about how attractive and alluring he was. I just wanted to know what was going on.

“I was looking for a pattern. Something the killer’s been following.”

I felt a chill. “Who said there was a killer? Who said anyone’s been killed?”

Tyler stared at the open log. If there was a killer, and if there was some connection to Safe Rides, it might just be that the killer took his ideas for victims from that log. The log I’d just found Tyler looking at. The same Tyler who, along with me, was the only person in the world who knew that Lucy had not gone inside the night we dropped her off. The same Tyler who’d suddenly said he was going away the weekend Adam disappeared. Only he wasn’t away because I’d seen him. The same Tyler who had an unusual interest in serial killers.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” he asked, crashing through my thoughts.

You know nothing about him
, I thought.
Not where he came from, or why he suddenly showed up a month after school started, or what he was doing in this office. Do you even want to be in here alone with him?

I started toward the door.

“You know what it means if they’re all dead, don’t you?” he asked behind me. “It means that the person who killed them isn’t just a killer. He’s a serial killer.”

On the nights when the public library was open late, Maura used their computers. Her mother had a computer at home, but it had an old-fashioned dial-up modem and you could grow old waiting for it to do the simplest things.

The library was where she had written and posted her blog. And even though she’d stopped doing that, she would still go to a chat room and talk to strangers. And it was there that IaMnEmEsIs found her.

IaMnEmEsIs:
Do you really think you can just stop?

The air left Maura’s lungs. She stared at the screen, then instinctively looked over her shoulder to see if anyone was watching. No one was. She began to feel anxious and tingly, as if a mild electric current was running through her. She typed:

Str-S-d:
You’re the one who has to stop

IaMnEmEsIs:
Don’t tell us what to do. You’re in this with us

Str-S-d:
No

IaMnEmEsIs:
Who’ll believe you?

Str-S-d:
All I did was write a blog. I didn’t know

IaMnEmEsIs:
You’re an accomplice

Str-S-d:
No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IaMnEmEsIs:
We thought you’d be pleased

Str-S-d:
You’re crazy

IaMnEmEsIs:
Now there’s an original thought

Str-S-d:
Why did you do it?

IaMnEmEsIs:
We think you know

Str-S-d:
Oh, God!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IaMnEmEsIs:
Too late. We want you to see

Str-S-d:
See what?

IaMnEmEsIs:
What we’ve done for you

Str-S-d:
No

IaMnEmEsIs:
Yes. Hillsdale Kennels

Str-S-d:
Never

IaMnEmEsIs:
Yes

Str-S-d:
I’ll tell the police

IaMnEmEsIs:
Can you spell accomplice?

Str-S-d:
I dont care. I’m not coming

IaMnEmEsIs:
Then we’ll bring it to you

Maura closed the application. Her heart was pounding.

chapter
19

Wednesday 7:58
A.M
.

Don’t be upset, Adam. We told Courtney to stop screaming. We only did what we did because she wouldn’t stop. Why was she screaming? Because of Lucy, you say? Let’s see. Oh, dear, look at that. She doesn’t look well at all, does she? Yes, yes, Adam, it was just a joke. We know that she’s far beyond not well. We’re afraid you’re right. Isn’t that sad? She had so much to live for, didn’t she? What? What will we do with her now? Oh, aren’t you sweet to be concerned? Don’t worry, Adam. We’ll take very good care of her. The timing couldn’t be better.

*  *  *

IT WAS THE coldest morning so far that fall. A few white flakes drifted out of the gray sky. I had just gotten out of my car in the student parking lot when I heard a scream. Kids all over the lot turned and looked. A few began to jog toward a small patch of trees at the bottom of a short slope next to the school. Others walked slowly toward the trees, as if they wanted to let the runners get there first. Still others, myself included, didn’t want to go, or look, or know.

Looking down at the trees I felt a shiver of fear.
Now what?

A boy named Tanner Wilks ran up the slope as fast as he could. With terror in his eyes he raced past me, yanked open a door that led into the gym, and disappeared inside. Meanwhile, voices, gasps, and shouts came from the wooded area. A girl trudged up the slope sobbing, her face buried in her hands, her shoulder cradled by a grim-looking boy.

The gym door opened and Mr. Alvarez, the gym teacher, raced down the slope towards the woods. The door had hardly closed when it swung open again and Principal Edwards came out, speaking urgently into a walkie talkie as he ran.

“Everyone back! Get back!” Mr. Alvarez’s booming gym-teacher voice echoed up the slope. Now Mr. Edwards joined in the chorus. “Everyone go! Get away from here! Go inside. Now!”

A few male teachers went down toward the trees. A small group of female teachers and secretaries came out but stayed near the gym door and watched.

In the distance the police sirens started. Even though they sounded far away, I turned to look and found Tyler standing a
few feet behind me. I gasped and felt startled.

He frowned. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“Sorry, I’m just freaked.”

“What’s going on?” He looked somber as he glanced past me toward the trees.

I shook my head. I didn’t know. The sirens were getting louder. I counted two, maybe three different ones, and felt a terrible sensation of foreboding. Tyler stepped closer and I felt his arm go around my shoulders. I shivered and hoped he’d assume it was from the cold, but the truth was, I didn’t know how I felt. Yes, I wanted to feel his arm around me, but only if that arm was attached to someone who had nothing to do with the terrible things that were going on. And right now I wasn’t sure of that.

A police car screeched into the parking lot. Two officers got out and quickly jogged down the slope and into the woods. An ambulance arrived next, and some EMTs carrying orange medical cases ran down the slope. A dark green sedan pulled into the parking lot, and Detective Payne got out. Our eyes met for a second, and then he hurried down the slope.

Mr. Alvarez and Principal Edwards came out of the woods, both grim and ashen-faced. In a voice filled with angst Principal Edwards shouted, “Everyone, back into school!” In response, kids moved faster toward the doors than they might normally have. Down in the wooded area, a police officer was going from tree to tree, stretching yellow crime-scene tape.

My stomach was in knots and I began to feel light-headed and sick.

“You okay?” Tyler asked.

I nodded but stumbled when I took a step. Tyler slid his arm around my waist. I couldn’t tell him that part of my discomfort stemmed from not knowing if I could trust him.

Inside, the PA blared, “Students, go directly to your homerooms and take your seats. Do not congregate in the halls. Go to your homerooms and wait.”

The hallways were filled with frightened-looking students. Everyone wanted to know what was going on. Tyler and I passed the nurse’s office just as Mrs. Johnson, the school psychologist, rushed in. Through the doorway we could see Tanner Wilks sitting on a cot with his hands over his eyes and Ms. Perkins, the nurse, sitting beside him with her arm around his shoulders.

“What’s going on?” I asked.

“It’s obvious,” Tyler muttered as we continued down the hall.

“But we don’t know. I mean, obviously it’s something bad, but we don’t know.”

“The only thing we don’t know is which one.”

“Please don’t say that.” At the same time I thought,
One, or ones? If it is them, how does he know it’s not all three?

The thoughts only made me more uncomfortable. I wished he’d take his arm from around my waist. Thank God we were in a crowded hallway at school. I was so uncomfortable with him at that moment that if we’d been someplace else alone, I think I might have screamed and run away.

I was glad when we stopped outside my homeroom. I eased myself out of his grasp. “Guess I better go in.”

“Talk to you later?” Tyler asked.

I nodded, but inside I wasn’t so sure.

Inside the room Ms. Skelling was sitting quietly at her desk, staring out the window. At their desks, kids were talking anxiously about what was going on outside. Over the PA came the static that often preceded an announcement. “Quiet!” Ms. Skelling suddenly snapped. “Listen!”

“Please pay close attention.” Principal Edwards’s voice came over the PA. “School has been cancelled for the remainder of the day. If you have a cell phone and can reach a parent or caregiver, please call them and have them come to school to get you. After you’ve placed your call, please allow someone who doesn’t have a phone to use yours. Parents and caregivers are to come as soon as possible. No one will be allowed to leave school alone, even if you came by bicycle or walked this morning. This order has come directly from the chief of police. Teachers, we are depending on you to make sure no student leaves unless accompanied by an adult. Students, if you cannot reach a parent or caregiver, please remain in your homeroom until further notice.”