Wishes on the Wind (57 page)

    David caressed her, his hands following the contours of her body as he adjusted her more intimately against him, but there was no sense of violation in his touch, only a sense of fulfillment long denied. The truth of David's words knotted deep inside her and she attempted to avoid his gaze, but he refused to allow her escape. Curving his arm around her back, he raised her chin until their eyes again met.

    "Meg, we've wasted too much time already, and we've come so close to losing it all. If these last weeks have proved anything to me, it's proved the importance of our love." David's voice dropped a notch lower. "You know as well as I that it was your love that breathed life back into me when it almost slipped away."

    Her control fading under David's heady coercion, Meg whispered, "I've said my vows to Terry, David."

    "That was a farce, Meg! You didn't really know the man you married. You thought he was a good, gentle person, a man who could give you the things you were lacking in your life, but he isn't what he seemed."

    A creeping realization turned Meghan cold. "You know"

    "Yes, I know. Did you really think it would remain a secret long that your husband was part of the plot to kill me?"

    Meg's shuddering increased, and she felt David wince as he pulled her closer still. Her low confession was her first actual concession to the reality she could no longer deny.

    "I didn't want to believe that either Terry or Sean were capable of such horrible acts. I told myself that they would realize where their bloody vows were taking them before it was too late."

    "I tried to get Captain Linden to work around them for your sake, but it's gone too far, Meg."

    "I know."

    "There's no way out for them, but there is for us. Look at me,

    Meg." Forcing a distance between them so he might view her face, David whispered earnestly. "I'll soon be good as new. When I am, I'll give Gowen my notice."

    "You made a commitment to him."

    "Listen to me, Meg! The only commitment that's irreversible is the one I made to you years ago. I'll take you away from
herefar
away. We'll forget this place and everything in it, and we'll start a new life. I'll come into my inheritance soon, and there's nothing we can't do then."

    "Except marry."

    "You'll get an annulment."

    "No."

    "We'll find a way."

    "No!"

    Twisting unexpectedly from his grip, Meg jumped to her feet. Her eyes great glaring saucers of pain, she shook her head, incredulous. "Do you know what you're asking? You're asking me to throw away everything I believe in, every tenet of thought my Ma ever taught me. You're asking me to discard the things that make me what I am. What will I be then, David? What will I have left?"

    "You'll have me, Meg." David stood uncertainly and took a step toward her, but she waved him back.

    "No, stay where you are! I don't want you to touch me!"

    "Why, Meg?" David's eyes held hers. "Is it because if I do you won't be able to walk away from me?" And when she did not respond, he took another step toward her. "Then
let
me touch you. Let me hold you in my arms and make love to you until you can think of nothing and no one but me, because that's the only place you'll ever be truly happy, Meg in my arms. And that's the only way either of us will ever be complete."

    David took another step toward her, and Meg's eyes widened with panic. "Stay back, I say!"

    "Meg, please"

    "No, I must think." Retreating to the door with backward steps, Meg pulled it open, her gaze still pinned to David's face. "I need some time alone to think. Please, David."

    Turning, Meg stepped quickly into the hall and drew the door closed behind her, realizing full well that she was doing exactly what she had accused David of several minutes earlier. She was taking advantage of him of his weakened state but she felt no    remorse. The scales were all tipped in his favor, because everything he had said was true.

    A sudden need to escape propelled Meg down the hallway and to the foot of the staircase without conscious intent. Twilight beckoned through the glass panels beside the front door, and Meg obeyed its summons. Responding to the inquiring glance of the armed guard on the doorstep, Meg replied, "I'm going for a walk."

    "Take care not to walk too far, ma'am."

    Hardly conscious of his response, Meg walked off onto the shadowed trail beyond.

    Terry walked briskly along the darkening street, his shoulders held carefully erect. His cap sat low on his forehead, emphasizing the frown that was more common to his face of late than a smile. He turned toward the train station. His heavy features tightened as he sought to keep his gaze from straying to the manor house on the hill, but even as a screeching whistle heralded the train's approach, he knew the effort was doomed to failure.

    The puffing engine rounded the turn in the track, and Terry watched its approach with a carefully controlled expression. It had been three weeks since Meg had left him for the house on the hill, and the desolation was deadening to his soul. He missed Meg. He missed her during the long hours underground, when he knew he would not see her smile of welcome when he emerged into the light of day again. He missed her during the silent hours of night in their empty bed. He missed her then, and now, and in every waking moment of tormented fear when he realized she might never return to him.

    But Terry knew he was not alone in his tribulation, for he saw that Sean suffered deeply as well. Strangely, Meg's leaving had caused a rift between Sean and himself, and he suspected Sean somehow blamed him. The secrecy newly imposed upon him by Kehoe had caused the rift to widen, and Terry had often looked at Sean of late to see in his face the coldness of a stranger.

    The engine hissed to a stop and Terry gave the station a last cursory glance before boarding. Finding the car empty except for two dozing passengers, he took a seat by the window and stared out into the darkening twilight. The car jerked into motion, and he thought of the meeting to come.

    He had spent more time than he felt comfortable with in Girardsville these past weeks. With the suspicion of an informer in    the Shenandoah division, Kehoe had demanded utmost secrecy for the plans underway. Swift justice would be dealt to Thomas
Gwyer
in Girardsville and
Gomer
James in Shenandoah within a week's time. An exchange of favors had already been arranged within the organization, with men coming from divisions in opposite ends of the coal fields to do the jobs. Past experience had proved that identification of the men was more difficult that way, and the final plans would be made tonight. Once that was accomplished, he would be free to go on to devote his time to more personal areas of his life.

    Settling himself down further into his seat for the familiar trip, Terry relaxed into the swaying rhythm of the car and closed his eyes. Sleep would be impossible with his mind so heavily involved, but he would use the time to allow images of Meg free access to his thoughts. Somehow Meg had known he was involved in the attempt on David's life, and he consoled himself that he had allowed her to stay up on the hill for a limited time to assuage her conscience. If he was to believe the rumors that came from the manor house, Meg had tenderly nursed David Lang back to health, and the fellow was not content to let her out of his sight.

    Terry suffered again the cutting edge of jealousy, but he reined it carefully under control. Meg was his wife. He knew she would not violate her vows. He also knew that at the conclusion of these Brotherhood matters one week hence, he would put a quick end to the situation. He would get Meg back then, one way or another.

    The shadows of twilight deepened as Meg walked through the overgrown garden of the Lang estate. Her step driven, she followed the stone path, noting unconsciously that the rose beds were badly in need of weeding and that the hedges had grown wild and shapeless. The birdbath that had welcomed so many songbirds in the past was dry, and the imported Roman sundial no longer saw the sun, shaded as it was by overgrown shrubs. Once so carefully tended and loved, the garden had gone to seed.

    As had her life.

    Halted by the despair overwhelming her, Meg took a deep, shuddering breath. It had all gone wrong somehow. She was so sure she was doing the right thing. After David left Shenandoah and his uncle sold the colliery, she was certain David would never return. She was sure that after spending years among wealthy, educated, sophisticated people, David would not even be recognizable as the person he once was. She was equally convinced that time would erase from David's mind all memory of a simple coal-town lass. Then she met Terry and saw in him the answer to her prayers, the person who would help her put Sean back on the right path.

    She had been so certain and she was so wrong.

    David still wanted her. He loved her and needed her, and if she were to be honest, she needed

    "Meg."

    Jumping with a start at the sound of her name, Meg stared incredulously as Sean stepped out of the nearby shadows. Quickly scanning the area for watchful eyes, Meg turned back to her brother with a shocked hiss.

    "What are you doing here, Sean!"

    "I came to talk to you, Meg."

    "Are you mad?" Unable to believe Sean's disregard for his own safety, Meg continued in a hushed tone. "The police are patrolling the grounds. You could've been shot!"

    "There's not a policeman alive who can keep me from goin' where I want to go."

    The animosity in Sean's tone was achingly familiar, and Meg's despair deepened. "You must leave here, Sean."

    "I want you to come back with me."

    "No."

    "I won't let you stay with that Protestant bastard, Meg! I won't let him change you into something that you aren't."

    "Is that why you tried to kill him?"

    "I didn't have anything to do with it, Meg, I swear." Sean's gaze flickered. "I might have, if things were different… but I didn't even know it was bein' planned for that day."

    A spark of the Sean of old suddenly returning to his eyes, Sean gripped her shoulders. "Ah, Meg, you're my sister. You're blood of my blood, and dearer to me than anyone else in the world. I want you back, where you belong."

    Meg steeled herself against his plea, responding tightly, "
Terry
knew, didn't he." Sean's silence was clearer than a spoken response, and the pain of it was almost more than she could bear as she spoke in a rasping whisper. "You betrayed me, Sean. You put me second to your bloody vengeance."

    "I didn't."

    "Aye, you did, or you wouldn't have allowed Terry to deceive me."

    "That was a mistake, Meg. I know that now, but I didn't see it that way then. The man loved you he loves you still."

    "His hands are stained with blood, Sean! Or did you not think of that? Did you not think I'd resent being touched by hands that did murder? Or were you inured to the thought because your hands are bloody as well?"

    Sean's eyes held hers intently as his hands dropped from her shoulders. "I swear on Ma's grave that I knew nothin' about the attempt on Lang's life until after it was done." He hesitated. "I've given it a lot of thought, and I'm thinkin' I was saved from any part in the affair by Ma's guidin' hand. She can see into your heart, Meg, wherever she is, and she knew the pain it would cause you. She didn't want that between us."

    "Don't speak to me of Ma, Sean! You're only speaking words! If you really cared what Ma wanted, you would've given up your vengeance long ago."

    "It does no good to look back, Meg. We can only look forward, and I'm tellin' you now, all's lost if you don't come back." Sean's strong body quaked as his voice dropped a notch lower. "The hatred eats at me without end when you're not near, Meg."

    "Don't put the burden of your hatred on my shoulders, Sean, for I'll not allow it. You've done what you've done despite anything I've said."

    Sean paused in response. His voice became a rasping whisper. "I've not yet killed a man, Meg."

    Sean's low confession sent a chill crawling up Meg's spine. "Not
yet
, you say! How can you bear to utter words that could send you to hell?"

    "I say them because they're true. The bitterness will not abate. I've known for longer than I care to say that you're all the goodness that's left inside me, Meg. Without it, I've gone all bad."

    "Sean…"

    "Come back with me, Meg. If you stay here, it'll be the end of Lang one way or another." At Meg's look of horror, he nodded. "Aye, it's true. My feeling's aside, Terry won't wait much longer."

    "I won't go back to him."

    "You need not. I know Terry well. He'll be content just to have you near until things are settled, and I'll see that he knows you're to be left alone. Things will be right again, Meg. I can feel it. We'll work things out between us the way we always did."

    Meg shook her head, confused. "How can things ever be right again?"

    "If you come home there's at least a chance. If you don't, there's none." Allowing a few moments for that thought to register fully in Meg's mind, Sean continued. "You must make a decision, Meg, and the hard truth of it is that the future of us all depends on what you do."