With Every Breath (29 page)

“Not. Another. Fucking. Word. I've had enough of the shit that isn't even close to being true coming out of your mouth. You're going to have to give me a minute because I'm so pissed off right now I don't even know how or where to begin responding to that load of garbage you just spouted. The
only
thing keeping me from losing my shit and turning you over my knee and spanking your ass is the fact that you actually believe every single word you said, and I don't know how to make you see it for the utter nonsense it is and that really pisses me off because it hurts you and goddamn it, it hurts me to watch you judge yourself, condemn yourself and stand there saying that you're no better than that piece of shit pathetic excuse for a human being while I have to stand here and watch you bleed right in front of me. But as God as my witness, baby, I'm going to make you see the truth. And not your fucked up version of the truth. If it's the last thing I do, I'm going to find a way to make you see the Eliza that I see when I look at you. To know the Eliza that I know and admire and have more respect for than I do any other living person.”

She stared wordlessly at him, too overwhelmed to say anything. What could she say to that? He was staring at her like she was the only person in the world—his world. His words, each and every one of them, she committed to memory, savoring and holding them close to her heart where they'd all remain safe and untainted, touched by no one. No one could ever take them away from her. They were hers, given to her, and they meant everything to her.

No one had ever looked at her with so much caring and fierceness, with so much possession and protectiveness there in their eyes for the world to see. No attempt to disguise it, pretend it didn't mean anything or that he hadn't meant any of the things he'd said.

“I can see that maybe I'm finally getting through,” Wade said gruffly. “Maybe now you're getting it. You mean something to me.
You
. And that means all of you, not just the parts you want me to see while you hide the parts you're so determined to be ashamed of and feel guilt over. You're mine, Eliza. All of you. Every inch of you, body and soul. And it wasn't just your body that I claimed when I made love to you and was inside you so deep that there will never be a time you don't feel me. I also claimed your heart, your soul, your mind and everything that makes you the person you are and what you were meant to be. And what you were meant to be is
mine
.”

Tears made him go blurry in her vision as she stared at him in wonder, afraid to believe. Afraid not to believe. Wanting so much and yet so scared that she'd never have what she wanted most. That this was all just a dream. The most beautiful dream she'd ever had.

“Wade, I have to do this,” she choked out. “Please believe me. I'm not trying to be a vigilante or a lone wolf, determined to go it by myself so I don't involve the people I love. You're already involved. I'm not walking blind into a situation nor am I planning to do anything stupid. But I need to do this. For me, Wade. For
me
. Not for him or anyone else. Not even for the women who died because of his sick obsession with me. I have to get something back that he took from me because until I have it, I can never give all of me to anyone else. I need you to understand and more than anything I need your support and the knowledge that you'll have my back so I can walk into that press conference with my head held high and then look him in the eye so he knows he no longer has me. I can accept not being the one to take him down. I can accept not dispensing justice that is rightfully mine to dispense. But I cannot accept not being able to at least face the monster who has controlled me for so fucking long because I
let
him. Even after he no longer had the ability to manipulate, I still let him affect my choices, my decisions and my happiness. I shut myself off and never allowed anyone in because of him. Because he taught me that I couldn't trust anyone. He was fucking wrong and I will never be able to put him completely behind me and heal until I can look him in the eye and let him know he did not win.”

“I'm sorry,” Wade said, sorrow brimming in his eyes.

She stared at him, stunned. What on earth was he sorry for? It was the very last thing she'd expected him to say.

He caressed her face, holding it in his hands as he stared down at her, fierce pride replacing the sorrow.

“I was wrong,” he said simply. “And I was being no better than the bastard who took your choices from you all those years ago. I was doing the same goddamn thing and I'm sorry, Eliza. I didn't realize how important this is to you. I couldn't see past my blinding need to keep you safe. My fear of something happening to you. I didn't recognize that he did so much damage to you. Damage that you're still healing from. And you need closure. You need to know you beat him. I get that. I do. I don't want you there. I'd much rather you be where I know you're safe, where I can keep you from ever being hurt again. But I understand why you need to do this and I support you, baby. And for the record, I will
always
have your back.”

She threw her arms around him again and hugged him, trembling and shaking from head to toe with emotion. He rubbed his hands up and down her back and simply let her hold on, let her take what she needed while he held her just as tightly as she held him.

After a while, Wade bent and brushed his lips across hers in a tender kiss. “Plans have to change. I need to call Dane and apprise him of the newest developments. I want them on you tomorrow watching you every fucking second. And then you get your ass back here to me where you belong.”

Belong. Such a simple word and yet it hit her like a ton of bricks. She'd never belonged to anyone. She'd never belonged anywhere. Wade said she belonged to and with him, and she'd never felt anything sweeter than knowing that, finally, she actually felt a sense of true belonging.

TWENTY

ELIZA
purposely arrived at the site of the press conference early so she could select a place directly in front of the podium so there was no chance of Thomas not seeing her. She hadn't shared this with Wade, but she'd only given him one of her reasons for insisting on being here when Thomas had his day in the spotlight. She hadn't lied. Every single thing she'd told him about needing to face Thomas was absolutely true. But there was another reason, one she hadn't dared impart to Wade or he would have shut her down so fast her head would have spun.

She wanted to be as close to Thomas as possible because she knew once he spotted her, once he knew she was there, almost in touching distance, he would attempt to begin his manipulation. And now that she understood the difference between thoughts and feelings psychically implanted and those that were solely her own, she knew she was no longer that starry-eyed teenager living without hope with only her daydreams and fantasies to make life bearable.

She would know immediately if Thomas was able to break through the mental barriers she'd spent years strengthening. And she needed to know, because if he could still manipulate her, then she was a danger to every single person important to her. Thomas could use her to turn against people absolutely loyal to her, betray them, destroy them and herself in the process.

It was a test. The most important test of her life with
everything
riding on the outcome. Whatever the result, she would still walk away once Thomas registered her presence. It was only a matter of whether she would return to Wade, confident in her ability to withstand a mental assault, or . . . if her barriers were breached then she'd run and she'd keep running. Forever. Whatever it took to ensure she would never be under Thomas's control again and used to destroy the lives of the people who meant the most to her.

She checked her watch, casually turning ever so slightly so she could view the growing crowd. Though she had yet to speak to Dane since the last time she'd seen him when she'd requested vacation time, it heartened her to know he was out there. Watching over her, taking her back like always, and with him the other DSS operatives. Zack. Newly married or not, she knew he would have insisted on being here. Next to Dane, Zack was closest to her of everyone she worked with.

She had the utmost confidence in her team. Knew they were watching, taking in every detail, any sign of danger, protecting her and then, when she left, they would shadow Thomas's every move and even Thomas with his psychic abilities would never know he was being watched. Her pride in the people she worked with was well deserved, absolute and unwavering. They'd proven themselves time and time again. Even when she'd been abducted and subjected to grueling torture, she'd never once lost faith that they would find her and get her out alive.

More and more people gathered until the entire street between the grassy circle and the businesses behind them was clogged with bystanders making it impassable to vehicles. The businesses had all closed for the press conference. No one would be anywhere but here. Afterward, they'd reopen and likely do a booming business as the locals gathered to gossip and offer their opinions on Thomas's statement. And Eliza's presence of course.

As safe as she knew she was in the hands of her teammates watching over her, she wished Wade was here, even just doing what her team was doing. Watching, invisible, ghosts. But Wade had good reason not to leave the safe house. With so many people, media, cameras and filming, he couldn't risk being seen by anyone.

If he was the one taking Thomas down—and he was adamant that it was his mission and his alone—then he couldn't be linked in any way to the town or the media, and he could not be seen by anyone who could place him in the vicinity of Thomas.

It still made her sick to her soul to have Wade take someone's life for her. It was her risk to take, her fall to take, her right to finally bring him to final justice. She shook off the unwanted thoughts and images of Wade risking all for her and did another quick scan of the now massive crowd. The many media crews were already set up, some giving a preliminary live report with cameras panning the huge gathering while the reporter chirped her spiel as if this was something good and exciting.

Her lips curled in disgust and then she froze, all her breath leaving her lungs in one forceful exhale. She stared, nearly paralyzed with panic and anxiety as she watched a procession of police cars flanking a four-door sedan pull up to the cordoned-off and guarded section of street directly in front of the courthouse on the opposite side of the grassy area from where the press conference was set up.

She stared in horror as the driver stepped out, doing a quick scan of his immediate surroundings before opening the door to the backseat. A half dozen police officers converged as Thomas stepped from the vehicle, surrounding him as they began walking slowly across the grass to where the platform and podium had been set up.

Even spending years in prison, Thomas looked as though time and age had been good to him. Even in his twenties, he'd possessed a timeless look, making it hard to accurately judge his age. And now, he looked only slightly older than he had at twenty-eight. Even more unbelievable, he had grown more handsome over the years.

He'd always possessed a quiet, distinguished air that drew people to him like a magnet and that look had only intensified. Anger and bitter hatred boiled in her veins. It wasn't fair! He'd viciously murdered women with no remorse or regret. He felt nothing at all. They were dead, their lives cut short and he was now a free man whose looks and appeal had only heightened during the time he served, and he still had a long life to look forward to. The women he killed had nothing, their young lives ending in terror and unspeakable agony. Her only consolation was that if all went according to plan, his life would end just when he thought it would begin again.

Her hands shook when she saw Thomas smile at the cop nearest him and the two shared a laugh. Thomas looked happy. Satisfied. Like he didn't have a care in the world. How could he be smiling or laughing when he was about to appear on live television to presumably proclaim his innocence and express his gratitude for the cop who'd supposedly tampered with evidence coming forward and admitting his part in sending an innocent man to prison?

Innocent my ass.

She was seething with fury and she quickly got a handle on her rage and forced herself to calm her rioting emotions before Thomas stepped up to the podium. She couldn't blow it now. She only had one shot at this and she had to pull it off before Thomas selected his first victim. She would not let that happen to another woman. Never again.

She sucked in several steadying breaths, purposely focusing on more pleasant, bland and nondescript thoughts. She immediately shut down the most pleasant thought that crept into her mind. Thomas dead, no longer wearing that smug smile, no longer laughing, never being able to hurt another person again and boarding a one-way trip straight to hell for his appointment with the devil.

He didn't immediately see her when he stepped to the microphone, his police entourage strategically placing themselves to ensure his protection. She quickly swallowed back the bile rising in her throat at the knowledge that the soulless bastard was being protected by men sworn to bring men like Thomas to justice.

He smiled broadly at the crowd, as though greeting long-lost friends and as if he were expecting a hero's welcome home. Strangely, the crowd was completely silent. Eerily so. It was as if time stopped as everyone anticipated the purpose of Thomas calling the press conference.

“It is with great joy and relief that I stand before you here today. A travesty of justice has been corrected and I am grateful to the officer who came forward to right the wrong committed against me.”

She was going to be sick. He dared to speak of travesties of justice when he stood there, a free man, exonerated of crimes he was guilty of? It was hard but she forced blankness to her face, an expression of disinterest as if it didn't matter to her whether or not he was guilty and was here for one reason and one reason only.