With This Kiss

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Home Sweet Home

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For Paul, Hunter, and Julia

This career has brought many wonderful people into my life—fellow writers, loyal readers, my agent, my editors, and fantastic cover artists. Thank you for the hard work you’ve put into my books over the years.

Y
ou are such a beautiful bride.”

Rebecca Campbell smoothed out the cuff of Andi Powell’s long-sleeved silk wedding gown and smiled at her friend in the full-length mirror. Emerald Lake, still mostly frozen and lightly dusted with snow from last night’s short storm, reflected through the large-paned window to the mirror.

Andi’s eyes met Rebecca’s in the mirror, full of excitement and anticipation for her wedding day. “I know I’ve said it a hundred times already, Rebecca, but thank you so much for everything you’ve done to help with my wedding. I could have never pulled this off so quickly, or so beautifully.”

Rebecca was extremely pleased by how smoothly the wedding preparations had come together. Her final walk-through downstairs half an hour ago confirmed that the Emerald Lake Inn had been completely transformed into a tasteful, elegant wedding venue. She’d done it before, of course, but it meant more to her this time, knowing she was an integral part of Andi and Nate’s special day.

Still, she had to tease her friend. “We both know you could have planned a dozen last-minute weddings in the past two weeks, Andi, and probably gotten a spread in
Brides
magazine while you were at it.”

Andi grinned before tossing off, “That was the old me, before I decided to start playing with yarn all day instead.”

Rebecca was happy to let Andi say whatever she wanted. After all, this was her wedding day. But both of them knew that moving back to Emerald Lake and becoming engaged to Nate hadn’t changed the core of who she was. Andi had always been driven. Brilliant. And on top of that, she also happened to be one of the most loving, caring people Rebecca had ever had the good fortune of knowing. Business at Lake Yarns was more brisk than ever now that Andi had taken over the store for her mother and grandmother. Not just because Andi was a great businesswoman with a background in management consulting, but because she was truly passionate about knitting—and the women who patronized her store.

As Andi turned back to look into the antique mirror in the inn’s “wedding prep” room, Rebecca noted that her friend seemed surprised by her own appearance. The wedding gown, the soft curls brushing against her collarbone, the pretty makeup.

“I never thought today would come,” Andi said softly. “But I always wanted it.” She lifted her gaze to meet Rebecca’s. “I’ve loved Nate my whole life.”

Rebecca blinked quickly to push away the tears that had been threatening to fall all morning just thinking about Andi and Nate’s wedding.

“You deserve it.” She could hear how scratchy her
words sounded. She had to work to swallow away the lump that had formed in her throat at Andi’s soft confession of love. “You and Nate both deserve the love you’ve found again. Especially since this time it’s forever.”

She shot a knowing glance at Andi’s slightly rounded stomach, the lump in her throat replaced with the joy of knowing there would soon be a new baby to cuddle and kiss and spoil.

Rebecca refused to acknowledge the envy that tried to steal through her as her friend’s slender fingers automatically spread across the growing life inside her in a gesture of instinctive protectiveness and nurturing. But she couldn’t hide from the concerned look on Andi’s face in the mirror as she obviously noticed her heightened emotions.

“A little more blush,” Rebecca said quickly, letting her long light-brown hair hide her face as she bent down to pick up the makeup bag.

She knew she’d just given too much away. She always did. Some people had poker faces, but not her. On the contrary, hers would cause her to lose everything in the casino because she didn’t have the first clue how to play the game.

And it was true. Rebecca had never figured out how to play the game. Not with love, that was for certain. And not with jobs, until she’d landed here at the inn and realized she’d finally found something she was good at. Something she loved to do.

Even though they both knew her makeup was already perfect, Andi let Rebecca brush a tiny bit more powder over her cheekbones, just until she’d regained her composure.

But then, before Rebecca could step away again, her friend reached out and put a hand on her arm. “You know you can talk to me, don’t you?” Her gaze softened. “My groom isn’t going anywhere,” she said with perfect confidence. “I’ve got all the time in the world.”

Knowing the last thing she should do was dump her fears and hurts and baggage all over Andi on her wedding day, Rebecca was intent on finding a way to deflect her concern. “I always get emotional at weddings. You should have seen me at each of my sister’s ceremonies. I cried buckets. The guests in my row were all wishing for raincoats so I wouldn’t soak them.” She smiled a crooked little smile, hoping to lighten the mood. “This time I’ve tucked some under the seats next to mine as a precaution.”

But her friend, the woman she’d helped see through such a difficult time the previous fall, didn’t so much as crack a smile.

“You don’t have to pretend with me, Rebecca.” Regret flashed across Andi’s face. “Ever since I got pregnant, my brain has been fuzzy and I just want to sleep all the time. That’s got to be why I didn’t see it all more clearly before.” She shook her head. “We shouldn’t have scheduled our wedding for this weekend.”

Andi’s words were said softly, and while there wasn’t pity behind them, Rebecca believed that was only due to the close friendship they’d forged during the last six months.

Unfortunately, there was no escaping the fact—not with Andi or anyone who was going to be downstairs at the wedding and reception—that Rebecca was supposed to have been the one about to get married this weekend. Instead of wearing the gown and saying “I do,” she was
going to be sitting in the audience, watching two wonderful people make their vows of love to each other.

The truth was that it hadn’t been easy walking down Main Street these past three weeks, going to the grocery store, passing people she knew on the cross-country ski trails knowing they were whispering about her. Sure, they still smiled, still exchanged the same pleasantries. But she knew either they had to be feeling sorry for her… or they were trying to figure out just what horrible thing she’d done to make Stu call off the wedding.

And disappear from Emerald Lake the very next day without a word to anyone.

Only the women at Lake Yarns’s Monday night knitting group had remained the same as always. Warm. Gossipy. And yet, utterly nonjudgmental. No matter how busy she was, Rebecca made sure to keep every Monday night open for drinking too much wine, and usually doing more talking and laughing than knitting.

She felt like she’d found her home in Emerald Lake, liked to imagine growing old on an Adirondack chair on a dock while she watched her future grandchildren playing in the blue water.

She hated to think that she’d only been accepted by the locals because she was engaged to Stu Murphy, whose family had lived in Emerald Lake for generations. She wanted to believe she belonged here on her own merit. Because people liked her and thought she contributed something valuable to the community.

But regardless of how off-kilter she was feeling, she absolutely refused to taint Andi’s wedding in any way.

“You know I absolutely loved being able to put on this wedding for you and Nate. And really, it worked out
perfectly. You needed a wedding venue right away and I had one all ready to go.” Rebecca already had the tables and chairs and glasses and food ordered for her own spring wedding at the inn, so Andi and Nate were able to use them without having to try to pull together everything at the last second. “It was meant to happen this way. I’m certain of it. I absolutely love knowing that I’m a part of your happily ever after.”

Anyone else would have stopped talking there, would have held something back, would have hidden the rest of her feelings. But Rebecca had never known how to do that. Especially when a dear friend was looking at her with such deep concern. Besides, she’d finally stopped lying to herself about her ex-fiancé three weeks ago. So what was the point in trying to hold back the full—painful—truth with anyone else now?

“You know Stu and I weren’t right for each other. Not as anything more than friends. The truth is I enjoyed putting the finishing details on your wedding far more than I ever enjoyed working on it when it was my own.” She shook her head. “I guess that should have been my first clue that something wasn’t right. But it was seeing you and Nate together that showed me what real love was supposed to look like.”

“You never told me that,” Andi said, clearly surprised by what Rebecca had divulged. Awareness dawned suddenly in her brown eyes. “Oh my gosh. Three weeks ago. That’s when Nate and I came in to ask about squeezing in a shotgun wedding here at the inn.”

Rebecca nodded, feeling like she was a diary that had fallen open with a splat. “You two were supposed to be flipping through a booklet of cake toppers. Instead, your
foreheads were together and you were staring into each other’s eyes.”

She hadn’t been able to tear her eyes away from them, not even when Nate cupped Andi’s cheek and gently kissed her.

That was what real love looked like. Deep and true love.

Forever love.

Just like that, Rebecca had known she couldn’t go through with marrying Stu. Not just for her sake, not just because she wanted that kind of love for herself, but because it wasn’t fair to Stu, either. He deserved forever love, too.

“I don’t know what to say. I hate to think that I caused your breakup. But—”

Rebecca shook her head, wanting to still the remorse, the guilt that was emerging on her friend’s face. “You didn’t cause anything. You just helped me see the light.” Finally. Long after she should have seen it on her own. “I’ll be forever grateful to you for that.”

Andi hugged her tightly and even though Rebecca longed to tell her friend more—it simply wasn’t her nature to hold things back and the secrets she was keeping were eating her up inside—there was one thing she couldn’t tell anyone.

Specifically, what had happened three weeks ago when she went to break her engagement to Stu after seeing Andi and Nate so in love.

She’d been so twisted up inside her head—and heart—on her way to Stu’s suite of rooms that night that she hadn’t thought to knock before opening the door. Rebecca
could still remember the way she’d been frozen in place when Stu and John, a mutual friend of theirs from college, pulled away from each other so quickly that she almost thought she’d imagined their embrace. Although he’d always been closer to Stu, Rebecca had counted John among her friends, too.

Stu had cursed and come toward her, hands outstretched, his face ravaged with guilt.
“Rebecca, I can explain. I didn’t want to hurt you. I swear it.”

She’d waited for betrayal to kick in, for anger to burst forth. Instead, a deep sense of sadness made her chest clench—along with a flood of relief. Because he didn’t want to marry her either. Stu had been her best friend since freshman year in art college when they’d bonded over giggles during the nude-drawing class. They should have known better than to date and then actually go and get engaged to each other.