Without a Doubt (11 page)

“Yeah, that's her. It was a Christmas gift one year.”

“It's hard to believe you don't talk to her anymore. Y'all looked inseparable.”

One thing is for sure. I don't want to be here with Eva talking about Kelly. “Things didn't exactly end well. C'mon. I'm supposed to be visiting with my parents, remember?”

“Right. Sorry.” She shakes her head and turns toward me.

“It's all right.”

Mom immediately starts a conversation that lasts until dinner is over. Eva is a hit with my parents. No surprise there. It feels good to be back here with them. So many of my visits since Kelly demanded the break have been more gloomy, more tainted with me being bothered that she was ignoring me. Not this time. There's a lot more happiness.

Mom brings us our clean clothes before we leave. Eva has to promise my mom to join me on my next trip home. It makes me smile that Mom likes her so much.

“Have you had fun?” I ask.

“Yeah. Thanks so much for today, Emerson.”

“Thanks for coming with me.”

About halfway to my apartment, she groans. “You live so close to campus, yet so far. I don't feel like driving yet. I like having you around to drive for me,” she teases.

“I offered to pick you up. You're the one who insisted on driving.”

“I know, I know.”

I laugh at her dejected tone. “You can stay if you want, and then go home in the morning.”

“You're too nice.”

“Well? That's not an answer.”

“I'll see once we get back.” She ends up accepting my offer. “Your bed is more comfortable than mine,” she explains.

I shake my head at her with a smile. “Do you want something of mine to wear?”

“Please,” she nods. I find her a pair of basketball shorts, tossing them to her. She decided to sleep in her tank top. “Thanks.” I'm about to leave her to change, when she adds, “You don't have to sleep on the couch, Emerson.”

“Are you sure?” She nods. “Okay. Let me know when you're done.” I leave her in my room to lock the door. My phone vibrates with a text and I check it. It's from my mom.

Mom: Loved having you home, son. Please visit more often. I think Eva is great for you.

Me: Thanks, Mom. Will do.

I replay the day over in my head. The once looming two-year deadline has never seemed so far away. More often than not lately, I've found myself doubting something actually happening between Kelly and me once it's here. Maybe nothing will happen. It's starting to bother me to have it feel as if it's hanging over my head every time I'm with Eva, and even when I'm not. I pull up my contacts, and scroll until I find Kelly.

I haven't spoken to her in over a year. She ignored me any time I tried. Maybe our break wasn't a break, but a break up. With an impulsive decision, I delete her contact. I obviously don't need it.

“Emerson, I'm done,” Eva calls.

“Coming.”

It's weird, but my shoulders feel a little lighter with that one action. For good, I push Kelly out of my head once more today as I make my way to my room.

EMERSON DOESN'T HAVE a TV in his room, and silence has never been so loud. With him lying here next to me, the room dark and quiet, I feel like fidgeting. Hell if I know why. I feel like if I fidget, I'll be bugging him and keeping him from falling asleep. The only reason why I want to fidget is because I feel awkward for some reason. It's probably because he's so great. I mean, after he came back into the bedroom, he told me there was a toothbrush in the bathroom for me.

He bought a toothbrush for me to use when I spend the night.

I realize I could focus on how he may think I'll be spending the night a lot, but considering the fact I've fallen asleep on him more than once, I decide not to. Instead, I think about how sweet it is that he went out of his way to have it here for me, just in case I did spend the night again.

And now, I keep thinking about how great he seems and how many times I've embarrassed myself in front of him.

“My hands are sore,” I blurt out. Damn it, I need to stop doing that.

Emerson chuckles. He reaches over and takes one of my hands. As he begins to massage it, he says, “Can't sleep now that you've laid down?” He has magical hands. If he can make my hand feel this good, I can only imagine what the rest of my body would feel like if he worked those hands over me.

“Yeah, I guess so.” Better than admitting it's because he's lying next to me.

His thumbs knead my hand for a bit until he asks for the other one.

“You know, I think I'm going to be the one having to convince you to keep me around,” he says once he's done.

“Are you kidding me? You just massaged my hands for me. You're a keeper.” He laughs, but then I realize what he said, and add, “Why do you think that?” I turn my head, barely able to make out the grin on his face.

“You're older, wiser, quicker on your feet, and prettier. You're taking all the good adjectives from me.”

I try not to giggle. “Would you like the prettier one then?”

He chuckles. “Yes, thank you. Come over here.”

Crap. I'll never sleep now. Regardless, I slide over. He lifts his arm for me to fit right next to him and he lays it over my shoulders as I rest my head on his chest. His torso rises and falls with his breathing, and I finally have found some noise to distract me: his heartbeat. It's not much compared to what a TV could do, but it's something. I can tune everything out except for the rhythmic thumping and his even breathing.

Emerson kisses the top of my head and says, “All right, now go to sleep. It's been a long day, and if I'm the pretty one now, you need some beauty sleep.”

I laugh, finally closing my eyes and relaxing for the first time since we lay down.

I'm standing about five feet to the left of the blonde girl I saw in the photos at Emerson's house. Kelly and I are standing across from Emerson and a guy I don't recognize.

“You have to choose,” he tells Emerson, walking back and forth in front of him. “You can't have them both. Pick. Is it Kelly or Eva?” He stands next to him to face us.

Emerson's eyes dart back and forth between us. The uncertainty on his face is painful. He'll pick her. Of course he will. I'm not sure why, but my heart knows I won't be picked. I open my mouth to say something, but no words come out.

Kelly, on the other hand, starts talking to Emerson. Resentment burns in my blood as he takes a step toward her. I can't understand what she's saying because it's like a whisper to me, but I know Emerson can hear her because he nods in agreement. This isn't fair! She has the advantage! Hell, I'm even standing two steps farther behind her. He can reach her in less time than he can me.

Emerson turns to look at me with questioning eyes. My mouth opens, but the words won't come. I shrug. I give up. I can't make him do anything anyway. He needs to choose who
he
wants, not who
I
wish he would want. Which would be me, obviously.

He turns to face the other guy. “I know who—”

A chill dances up my spine, waking me up. I slowly blink and look down at myself. My brows bunch together. I'm lying against Emerson's back as he lies on his side with all the blankets. I scoot backward, clutch a handful, and tug hard.

Nothing.

I groan in frustration and shove Emerson a little to wake him up.

Unfortunately, he's lying on the edge of the bed and my little shove pushes him off, his grunt as he hits the floor wakes me up a little more.

“What the hell?” he mumbles, sitting up.

“Sorry. I didn't mean to, but you had all the covers.”

“So you fucking pushed me off the bed?” He sounds angry, which confuses my half-asleep brain. Emerson tosses the blankets in my general direction, nearly hitting me in the face with them. He stands and gets back into the bed while I try to fix the covers.

“You're mean when you first wake up,” I comment.

“You pushed me off the bed!” he defends.

Annoyed myself, I turn toward him a bit, cup his face with my hands, and say, “I said I was sorry, Emerson. It was an accident and I was half-asleep. Relax.”

He finally seems to focus and loses the touch of anger he had. “Sorry, Eva. That was just a rough wake up call.”

I'll probably care more about what I did in the morning, but right now, I only care about having blankets again. I turn the other way, pull the blankets up to my neck, and fall back asleep. I'm one of those people who likes to be warm and toasty when I sleep, so even the slightest chill can wake me up.

Unfortunately, I wake up again to find that he has all the blankets once more.
Oh, come on!
I get out of bed and shuffle my feet into the living room. There's a blanket on the back of the couch. I just want some sleep. I fall onto the couch, grab the blanket, and fall asleep once I'm warm again.

The next time I wake up, the room is brighter, the TV is on, and Emerson is sitting on the floor in front of me, leaning his back against the couch. As I shift on the couch, he glances back at me with a small smile.

“Morning, sunshine.” A grunt-like noise leaves my throat and he laughs. “Why are you sleeping in here?”

“You're a cover hog,” I grumble, turning to lie on my back.

“So instead of pushing me off the bed again, you came to sleep in here?”

I groan. Crap. I did shove him off the bed. “You shouldn't sleep along the edge, Emerson.”

He laughs. “Yet I'm mean when I first wake up.”

“Ugh, be quiet. Give me a few minutes.”

“All right,” he agrees, standing up. “Move your feet, Eva.”

I move them out of the way, so he can sit down. While I wake up, I wish I could hide under the covers. What is it with me doing stupid things in front of Emerson? Or to Emerson in this case? I sit up and rest my head on his shoulder. “I'm sorry that in a sleepy daze, I shoved you off the bed for stealing all the covers.”

Emerson laughs. “I'll forgive you this time.”

“Thanks. What time is it?”

“Eleven,” he answers.

“I better go. I need to eat and shower and all that good stuff before I go to work at one.” With a sigh, I lift my head from his shoulder. He's already dressed, looking too good in his white t-shirt and sweatpants. “You don't have to work today?”