Without a Doubt (35 page)

Shit. This is what happens when I don't think before I text. All I wanted to do was tell her I missed her and now, we're on the topic of how she doesn't live here.

“Regretting what you said?”

My gaze jerks up to see Eva standing in the doorway, dressed in her pajamas. “No. What are you doing here?” I didn't hear her come in.

She shrugs one shoulder. “I was missing you too. I had just parked when you texted me.” She walks in and drops her bag at the foot of the bed. She stops short of crawling into bed. “Where's my comforter?”

“In the dryer. I'll get it.”

She gets in bed while I get out. A minute later, I return with her comforter. We lie in bed, the silence enveloping us. Eva turns onto her side and I do the same.

“Why were you missing me?”

Her question throws me off. “What do you mean why? You have all the great adjectives and I can't enjoy those traits if you aren't here.”

“That makes sense,” she grins, causing me to laugh. “This is probably my official last consecutive night here,” she adds. “Catherine needs my awesomeness too, you know. Although, I could be persuaded to spend more time here if you tell me why Glen's relationship ended.”

I reach out, grab her hips, and tug her closer to me. “Not happening, Eva.” She glares at me. “What if you did live here?” I ask, tracking back to our text conversation.

“You're only saying that because you've had me around all week.”

Okay, I wasn't expecting that reply and my frown shows as much. I guess Drunk Eva really does have different wants than Sober Eva.

“Having me around 24/7 might hurt us instead of help us. And are you even sure this is what you want? You don't want to keep me around because you're still hurting, do you? Wouldn't it be too soon? We just started saying I love you. I can keep coming over a few times a week, Emerson.”

“Eva,” I interrupt before she can break my heart further by continuing to speak. “What happened to having no more doubts? I love you
without a doubt
. I want you
without a doubt
. Now, tomorrow, and every day after that. If you're not ready, then say so, but it shouldn't be because you aren't one hundred percent confident in us and our relationship.”

“It's not that,” she begins.

“Yes, it is. Otherwise you wouldn't have said what you did.”

“No, it's not,” she says forcefully. “I've been thinking about it, too, but I convinced myself you obviously weren't ready because I figured if you were, you would have asked when you gave me a key. But you didn't.”

So, now it can only make sense that I want her to move in because she's been here all week? “When did you start thinking about it?”

“This week,” she replies with a wince.

“Oh, really? Are
you
sure you want that? Having me around 24/7 might hurt us instead of help us, Eva. Are you even sure this is what you want? You don't want to stay because you think things might change if you aren't around me, do you? It has to be too soon,” I throw her words back at her in a monotone voice, leveling my gaze on her.

“Okay, okay. I see your point. I'm sorry, Emerson. I was suddenly nervous and you know how I'll blurt out whatever comes to mind when that happens.”

“So, we'll discuss this?” She nods. “Is there any reason why you haven't moved into an apartment yet?”

“I like staying with Catherine and being on campus. She has a scholarship and in order to get the funds, she has to live on campus. Mine don't have one of those restrictions. So, I stayed with her instead of getting an apartment.”

“And you're okay with possibly leaving her to live with me?”

She doesn't hesitate. “Yeah.”

“My lease is a six-month lease and rent, which is six hundred dollars, covers everything. We could split the rent and take turns buying groceries?”

She nods in agreement. “When do you want me to move in?”

“As soon as you want or at the end of the semester. I have one request though.” Eva raises an eyebrow. “Burp the abc's for me.”

Her jaw drops and I laugh. “Emerson! No. God, I had all but forgotten about that.”

“Oh, come on. You're bound to let one slip sooner or later. Just get to E and I'll be happy.”

She covers her face with her hands. “I'm not moving in with you,” she mumbles, her voice muffled by her hands. She drops them. “I'm your girlfriend, Emerson. You realize that, right? Why in the world would you want to ruin the amazing image you have of me by having me burp A to E?”

“You're going to live with me, Eva. I'm trying to get some of the awkward things out of the way now, so it's less awkward and embarrassing.”

“So, what? Are we going to start having farting contests soon? No. Emerson, just no. Let's live in ignorant bliss and pretend I'm not capable of those things. If it ever happens, I expect you to ignore it completely.” My laughter earns me a glare. “I don't understand why you want to hear me burp.”

“Because on some weird level, it's a bit impressive. I can't do it.”

“It's unladylike.”

“So is being nosey, blurting out that you're on your period, and it's just plain rude to adjust the settings in my truck. You're way past behaving like a lady already.” That earns me a slap on the shoulder. “Come on,” I try to coax her. “I'll love you for the rest of my life,” I promise. It's a given already, but it can't hurt to say it.

“Oh my god,” she groans. “You're so weird.” She sighs, rolls onto her back, and closes her eyes. After a moment, my eyes widen as she actually burps from A to E. We're both quiet for about thirty seconds after she finishes. She turns back on her side. “Do you still find me attractive or am I going to have to work harder on my beauty sleep?”

“You're beautifully human, Eva.”

Her lips lift in a smile. “Good answer.” She snuggles closer to me, wrapping around me, and I make sure to tuck her comforter around her back at least. “What happens if we break up? I'll be out of a place to live,” she tells me softly and somberly.

“We're not going to break up.”

“I need a back up plan, Emerson. I hope we don't, but I can't predict the future and if we do break up, I need to know what I'm going to do. This is too big of a step for me not to cover all my bases.”

I sigh. I don't like thinking about a future without her. The thought is terrifying and makes my heart ache. I can't lose her ever and under no circumstance am I going to willingly let her go. However, I understand where she's coming from and her need to look out for herself if it does happen. “If we break up, I'm not going to kick you out. I could sleep on the couch or sleep elsewhere until you could find a new place. If it'll make you feel better, we can tell Glen and then he can see to it that I'll keep my word.”

“Thanks. Can we sleep now? I'm tired and I definitely know I need the beauty sleep.”

My response is a kiss to the top of her head.

Glen cracks his knuckles for like the millionth time. He's stopped eating at this point. He keeps glancing between us like we're a math problem he's in the middle of solving.

“You don't think it's a good idea,” Eva states, a touch of disappointment in her voice.

He shakes his head. Damn it. Panic sweeps through me at how he might talk Eva out of moving in with me. If anyone can do it, he can. I stay quiet, not waiting to say something through my fear or anger.

“It's too soon, especially after everything going down with Kelly. Y'all should wait. Until the end of the school year at least,” he says, his eyes focused on Eva. Obviously, I'm not changing my mind, so she's the only one worth trying to convince.

“We talked it over,” she tells him. “We covered how it's going to work and we both want to do it. We're telling you as part of my back up plan.” She goes on to explain that part to him. Honestly, I'm a bit surprised she's standing firm against him. I expected her to hear him out more, to debate it with him, something other than simply tell him it's done and decided. “It's what we want, Glen. We don't need your approval, you know.”

“I know.” His brows pull together in frustration and he pops his knuckles again. “Are you sure you want this and have thought it through?”

“Yes,” she answers immediately. “For heaven's sake, I burped for him yesterday. If I can survive that, I can handle living with him.”

Glen laughs and I smile. “Okay, then. I'll leave it alone, I guess. I just wanted to make sure this wasn't as rash as it sounds.” He turns his gaze to me. “Sorry.”

I shrug. He has Eva's best interest at heart and it's no surprise that sometimes, it means he's questioning me. I can't blame him for that even if it does occasionally piss me off.

“Have you told Catherine or Aunt Beth yet?”

Eva shakes her head. She's nervous about telling Catherine, I know. She told me so this morning. She doesn't want Catherine to be upset with her. I don't think she will be, but then, I don't know Catherine very well.

As we continue through lunch, I can't help but feel as if my world has finally righted itself. As if I'm right where I'm supposed to be after being lost for so long. Eva changed my world, filled it up, and I can't wait to see where our future will lead us. Because it most definitely will lead us together, not separately. She can have her back up plan all she wants, but she won't ever have to use it.

She has me. She has me so invested in her and our life that I'll never be able to untangle myself. Her moving in with me is one more way for me to get closer to her. It's one more way for
her
to get closer to
me
. And I want her so close to me, her doubts fall away once and for all and she won't be able to untangle herself from me either.

“Emerson?” Eva snaps her fingers in front of me. I blink and glance at her. “What were you thinking about?”

“Nothing. I just love you.” I lean over to give her a kiss.

“Ugh, I don't need to see this,” Glen groans, making us laugh.

He should get used to it because I'm going to be by her side for the rest of my life.

“OKAY, WHY ARE you taking me on a shopping trip?” Catherine asks as we walk into the mall.

I shrug. “I missed you.” That's not a lie, but not the complete truth either.

Catherine stops walking, forcing me to do so as well. She folds her arms over her chest and narrows her eyes. “What's going on, Eva?”

“I'm moving in with Emerson.”

It only takes her a moment to recover from her shock before she screams, turning heads from other people, and hugs me. “I'm so happy for you!”

“You are?” I wrap my arms around her, feeling such relief. I wasn't sure how she would react.

Catherine pulls back to look at me, a slight frown on her face. “Of course I am. Eva, you came to college hoping to fall in love. You have and now you're going a step further with it. Why wouldn't I be happy for you? You're getting your fairytale.”

“I thought you may be upset because I'm leaving you and won't see you as much.”

“Sounds like as good a reason as any to have mandatory girls' days.” She loops her arm through mine and we begin walking. “We could make it Sundays since Emerson has the guys over for football. You can always invite me over to hang out too. Or you could come hang out with me at the dorm. I'm not worried about that, Eva. We're best friends and need each other too much. When are you moving in with him?”