Without a Mother's Love (18 page)

He guffawed and drank his whisky. ‘Women always protest. They never mean it for they know it makes the contest more appealing. Is that not what you were taught?’

‘I was taught about the value of virtue and the sanctity of marriage.’

‘And now I suppose a pious creature like yourself thinks herself ruined.’

‘Think it? I know it.’

‘If you don’t like it here, you can leave,’ he retaliated. ‘Go on! Take your chances out in the Riding. You won’t get far once the word is out about your services here. The Mextons are notorious. Did no one warn you about us? Your reputation, such as it was, was probably lost the moment you agreed to come here.’

‘Well, if it wasn’t then, it most certainly is now!’

His sagging eyes glittered in the lamplight. She did not know whether it was the flickering firelight or actual movement in his breeches and stepped back in alarm. In the silence that followed, she recovered her composure. ‘I do not think Olivia should consider her wifely duty as punishment, sir.’

He poured more whisky from the decanter.
^‘
Very well. I shall not visit you in the schoolroom.’

Harriet felt as though a heavy burden had slid from her shoulders. She had not expected him to be so accommodating and felt elated. ‘Thank you, sir.’

But her joy was short-lived, replaced by the misery and wretchedness that were so familiar to her.

‘Perhaps I shall have you now. Here on the hearth-rug.’

He took pleasure in humiliating her, in overcoming her protests. She thought that if he did carry out this threat it would be the last time, for had he not agreed to cease his night-time calls? Well, if he welcomed her resistance, she would be compliant and see how that pleased him. She scowled. She was already thinking like a whore. She must get away from this house. When Olivia was settled in her marriage she would plan her escape from Hill Top House and Hesley Mexton.

He laughed. ‘Don’t look so worried. You are safe from me for now.Yes, I see how much that pleases you.’ He drank again from his whisky glass. ‘Would it surprise you to know that I look forward to pleasing you?’

She relaxed a fraction. She should know by now that he liked to toy with her feelings. She thought, though, that he appreciated the work she did for his great-niece. Her years at Blackstone had taught her there was good in everyone if only you could find it. The corners of her mouth turned down. She did not believe there was a decent side to the master.

But he kept his word and did not visit the schoolroom at night. In those uncertain hours when she lay awake, alert to every sound, she planned how she would escape from this prison. Only money gave her the answer to her situation. She did not need much, just enough to distance herself from the reputation of Hill Top House.

It would take twelve months, she reasoned. By then Olivia would be in her fifteenth year, no longer a child. She would forge a testimonial and travel outside the Riding for work. She could read, write and keep account books.There must be something out there for her.

So convinced was she that she had found a way out of her situation that there were times over the next few weeks when Harriet forgot the sinfulness of her position, and the injustice of Olivia’s fate. She enjoyed the wedding preparations. The young bride was to wear her new silk gown and slippers, and Harriet practised dressing her hair in coils entwined with flowers.

The dressmaker delivered two more gowns for daytime, several new undergarments and items of nightwear, all of which Harriet and Mrs Cookson wrapped carefully in calico and stowed in young Hesley’s bedchamber. It was one of the finest rooms in the house with a large bay window overlooking the front drive.

Harriet fingered the red brocade hangings around the four-poster bed. ‘Don’t you think girls are allowed to marry too young, Mrs Cookson? Boys are usually older.’

‘Aye, well, they ’as to be earning to look after a wife.Anyroad, I reckon it’s for the best wi’ this little ’un. You don’t want to be risking babbies out o’ wedlock. She were a wild little thing afore you came, talking to any vagrants that came begging at the door and going out to meet ’em on the moor.’

‘They were innocent acquaintances.That’s not the reason for Miss Olivia’s marriage, is it? It’s for her inheritance.’

‘Same thing, if you ask me. Stop any Tom, Dick or Harry getting her with child and his hands on her money.’

‘But I don’t think she’s ready for a husband.’

‘Are any of us when we wed? At least this ’un knows a bit about what to expect from you. My old ma never told me nowt and I thought my husband were trying to kill me on my wedding night. While we’re up ’ere, I’ll show you your new chamber. It’s down at the other end of the landing.’

‘I didn’t know I was moving into the main wing.’

‘The master’s orders. And there’s cloth for you to make new gowns. I expect you’ll be dining every day with the family after the wedding.You’ll be expected to dress as befitting Miss Olivia’s companion.’

Mrs Cookson opened the door to a small, light chamber with a sash window that overlooked the front approach to the house. There was a rug on the floorboards and curtains at the window made from the same fabric as the bed coverings. It was a larger bed than the one in her old chamber, and it had a soft feather mattress and white linen sheets.

‘It’s beautiful,’ Harriet said. ‘Oh, a cupboard for hanging my Sunday gown and a chest of drawers. This is indeed luxury for me. What’s in here?’ Harriet rattled the handle of a door in the wall next to the washstand.

‘That’s locked from the other side.’

‘But what is at the other side?’

‘The master’s bedchamber. This was a dressing room once.’

‘Is there a key for this side, Mrs Cookson?’

The older woman did not answer and Harriet sagged onto the side of the bed as realization dawned on her. The master had kept his word about not visiting the schoolroom but after the wedding ceremony . . . She began to feel ill.

‘It’s the master’s wishes, Miss Trent. I said it’d be too much work for me, but he insisted. I’m sorry.’

Mrs Cookson sounded sympathetic. It wasn’t her fault.

‘I’ll stay in the schoolroom,’ Harriet decided.

‘You can’t. I’m having those two lasses from the poorhouse back all the time. But the attics are too damp to use. They’ll sleep on pallets in the kitchen until the wedding and then they’ll have Miss Olivia’s old bedchamber.’

 

‘Well, you’ve done wonders with her since you’ve been here. All dressed up like a proper grown lady with her hair curled and prettied. Miss Olivia’s a lucky lass, if you ask me. She’ll be mistress of this house after today, and if you play your cards right, Miss Trent, and stay in the master’s favour you’ll be with her for her own babbies.’ Mrs Cookson beamed at them as they climbed into the carriage, then returned to her kitchen.

‘Will I have a baby, Miss Trent?’

Harriet took her hand. ‘You might.’

‘Hesley’ll hurt me, won’t he?’

‘You must tell him if he does.’

‘He’ll only hurt me more. I’m frightened, Miss Trent.’

‘You’ll be his wife. He’ll be different now.’ Harriet tried to reassure her as the carriage bumped along the track to church. But she knew he was like his grandfather and would have no thought for the sensibilities of his bride. She felt a loathing for both men that surpassed her reason.

‘No, he won’t,’ Olivia responded. ‘He disgusts me and I hate him. I hope he’s drowned at sea.’

Harriet was horrified to realize she felt the same.

They arrived at the tiny church after the handful of morning worshippers had left. Harriet wore her new gown, a soft hue that brought out the blue in her eyes and enhanced her fair colouring, but did nothing for the dark shadows that indicated her sleepless nights.

The master and Hesley had followed on horseback. They had all taken spirits to keep out the cold wind that shrieked across the moor, but only young Hesley was drunk enough to slur his speech as he took his vows in front of the curate.

The ceremony was over quickly and the party returned to more wine and a roast baron of beef in the dining room. Harriet had not seen a joint as huge as this before, even at Hill Top. The master must be very pleased with what had happened.

Olivia was allowed to take wine for the first time and Harriet, who preferred it to ale with her dinner, took more than she should have. When she saw that the gentlemen were going to continue drinking until the pair of them fell into a stupor, she stood up.

‘Will you excuse us, sir? I shall take Mrs Mexton up to her - her chamber to rest.’

She helped Olivia out of her wedding dress and into one of her new silk nightgowns, unpinned her pretty hair and brushed it out over her shoulders. ‘You should try to rest if you can, madam.’

‘Is that what you have to call me?’

‘Now that you are married, yes.’

The girl yawned and Harriet pulled back the covers. ‘I’ll bring you some tea later.’

In the kitchen, Harriet laid a tray while Mrs Cookson snoozed in her chair by the fire. One of her new housemaids was on her hands and knees scrubbing out the scullery. The other was fettling Olivia’s old chamber over the kitchen.

Harrier wandered into the front hall where silence had fallen. Wherever the gentlemen had gone, they were asleep as she had anticipated. She went outside to sit in the afternoon sun as it sank below the horizon. The days were lengthening already.

Harriet guessed that no word had reached the town about Olivia’s marriage or her aunt and uncle would have been there, she was sure. They would be as shocked by it as she was.

Chapter 13

‘Are you awake, Mrs Mexton?
^’
A few hours later Harriet tapped lightly on the bedchamber door.

‘Yes.’

She carried in a tray of tea, placed it carefully on a small table and began to pour. Olivia was sitting up in bed with the pillows piled behind her. She looked relaxed and refreshed and, Miss Trent noticed, slightly wanton with her hair tumbled and her silk nightgown clinging to her.

‘I heard the gentlemen talking in the drawing room. Perhaps you would care to dress and join them.’

‘Is that what I should do?’

‘Yes, madam. Your days will be different now.’

‘And nights. It will feel strange to sleep in Hesley’s bed. But it’s so big and comfortable.You’ll be cold all alone in the schoolroom, Miss Trent.’

‘I’m to move into the front wing now that I am your companion, and we shall continue some of your lessons in the morning room.’ She handed Olivia a cup of tea. ‘Are you hungry? There is bread and butter. And then you must get dressed.’

‘Do I have to put on that corset again?’

‘Every day now, madam. You are a married lady and must behave as one.’

‘Shall I wear my silk gown?’

‘No, one of your new day gowns. I’ll get it for you.’

As Harriet reached inside the cupboard, the chamber door opened and Hesley walked in with his grandfather. ‘I was just helping madam to dress, sir,’ she said, laying the gown over a couch.

‘Not now, Miss Trent. Come with me.’ The master stood in the doorway and waited for her. She glanced at Olivia, who looked alarmed. She gave her a reassuring smile but Olivia did not return it. She was watching Hesley shrug off his coat.

‘Miss Trent?’There was pleading in Olivia’s voice and Harriet moved towards the bed, but the master took her arm roughly and pushed her out of the door.

She followed him downstairs to his library and remembered vividly their last encounter in that room. He picked up the poker and disturbed the glowing embers in the fireplace, then added more coal with the tongs.

‘You will question Olivia tomorrow about her wedding night.’

‘But surely, sir, you can ask your grandson—’

‘And he will tell me what I want to hear. While you, Miss Trent, speak the truth because you do not know what else to say.’

She thought that he was not quite right. She lied about beatings. But that was all.

He put down the tongs and looked at her.‘You are not afraid to be truthful with me. Blackstone tempered you well.You are resilient. I would have likened you to a piece of coal but you do not burn. You do not even smoulder. I should like to see you smoulder, Miss Trent.’

‘I do not understand you, sir.’

‘No, you are devoid of passion.’

Only in the way you wish, she reflected. I have passion, she reasoned silently, for I hate you with a vengeance. And I love your niece more than you could ever know.

‘You are more like a piece of jet,’ he went on. ‘Hardened and cold. Do you know what jet is?’

‘Of course, sir. It is jewellery made from fossilized coal.’

^‘
Fossilized.Yes. That is what Blackstone has done for you. It has fossilized you.’

No. It made me strong, she thought. It is you who have made me cold.

‘Have you seen any jet?’

‘No, sir.’

‘Well, you shall. Olivia now has a collection of jet jewellery, her mother’s and her aunt’s, handed down from Mexton women before them. Now she has married it is hers.’

‘I shall see that it is properly cared for, sir.’

‘Of course you will.’ He smiled. ‘You know where your duty lies. When you have spoken with Olivia about her wedding night, you will come and talk to me. Are you clear about that?’

‘Yes, sir. I—’ She hesitated. ‘I was wondering if, after tonight, you might consider a separate bedchamber for madam. Until she is a little older, sir.’

‘Out of the question. She will be alone soon enough as Hesley is leaving for the West Indies when passage can be arranged. Besides, I want her with child as quickly as possible. Hesley needs an heir. She is ready to bear them, is she not, Miss Trent?’

‘Possibly. But I am not sure that she should until she has matured a little more.’