Without (23 page)

“Come fix your plates,” said Donna, opening the back door half
a second before Rick would’ve been flying over the rail. She reached out for
the pastor’s hand, pulling him away from my glare. After she took him inside,
she turned to me. “Choose your battles, sweetie. Which one would you rather win
tonight?”

I’m guessing she saw the conversation escalating from the
kitchen window. After giving me a disarming smile, she left me alone on the
deck. Knocking his teeth down his throat would’ve lost me both of those
battles. She knew that.

“You’re as wise as you are beautiful,” I whispered to Donna
as I returned to the kitchen. “Thank you.”

“I know,” said Donna. “And you’re welcome.”

I thought it best to avoid Rick and Kelly as the evening
progressed. I spent most of it listening to Perry and Joey talk about the
attempted train heist. Looking over at Doc, I could see concern in his face.

“Where did this happen?” asked Doc.

“About a mile or two on the other side of Bridgeport,” said
Perry.

“Do you think that was their intent? Crossing the bridge and
taking the town?”

“I didn’t think about that,” said Perry. “They were a pretty
well organized and big group. That might have been their target before they saw
us, yes. We put a big dent in those numbers, though.”

“We live in a bubble here,” said Doc. “We have natural and
manmade boundaries that make it difficult for strangers to get to us, but
eventually they will. A group of twenty or more could’ve taken that bridge. If
Bridgeport falls, there’s nothing stopping them from taking Stevenson.”

“What’s your point, Doc?” asked Joey.

“My point is, we need to seriously consider expanding that
cushion,” said Doc. “We have a massive amount of food in storage. We have more
than enough livestock and farmland to take care of more people. If we have more
people, we have more protection. We need to reach out to South Pittsburg over
the border in Tennessee.”

“We tried that,” said Perry. “Their mayor wanted to take
over the show and absorb us, not the other way around, remember?”

“Things have changed, son,” said Doc. “We have a train now.
We can move supplies and men at will. That’s a hell of a bargaining chip we’re
holding.”

“I imagine they’re in a bad way right now,” said Perry.
“They’re the next town north on the rail line. If we can build a relationship
with them, that’ll put us closer to the dam as well.”

 “Why does that matter?” asked River, joining the men in the
living room.

“It matters because we’re going to have to open it again,”
said Doc. “When the water level drops, those gates are going to prevent
any
water from reaching us. I’m guessing we only have a few weeks, maybe less,
before the river dries up completely. We’ll go from one extreme to the other.
The bottom line is, we need to control Nickajack Dam year round. If we bring
South Pittsburg in the fold, the dam will be less than five miles away.”

“You know how to kill a party, Doc,” said Joey.

“Just trying to think ahead, son. That’s what’s kept us
going to this point.”

“He’s right,” said Perry. “We’ll bring it up at the next
meeting. We need to control that dam.”

“Well, since I killed the party, I think I’ll be heading
home now,” said Doc, standing. “I’ve got early rounds.”

“Mind if I walk with you?” I asked. “I need to burn off some
of this pie Donna forced me to eat.”

“Forced you?” said River. “You ate half of one by yourself.”

“If it wasn’t so good, I wouldn’t have been forced to eat
it.”

Doc said his goodbyes and we made our way out into the
street. We talked briefly about the complications of reaching out to South
Pittsburg for an alliance. We had no idea if the mayor was even still in
control. We both knew that didn’t matter. One way or another, we needed to take
that town.

“You know Kelly stays with me, right?” said Doc.

“I do.”

“I guess that explains you wanting to walk me home. You’re
gonna wait for her, aren’t you?”

“I am, but I also wanted to talk with you about something.”

“I’m all ears,” said Doc.

“Do you look at me as a drifter?” I asked. “Do you think I’m
sponging off of my uncle and his family? Am I taking advantage?”

“Jesus, son,” said Doc. “Where did all this come from?”

“I was made aware of that perception earlier,” I said.

“What else were you made aware of earlier?” asked Doc,
fishing.

“That I’m taking advantage of Kelly.”

“Ah, the root of the questions,” said Doc, turning to me
with a smile. “The person making you aware wouldn’t have been Pastor Jenkins,
would it?”

“It would.”

“Ah, the root of the problem,” said Doc. “Are you aware of
his feelings for her?”

“I am now,” I said. “He made that very clear. It seems that
everyone in town knew except me.”

“You’re not a drifter,” said Doc. “You’re not sponging off
your uncle, and you’re certainly not taking advantage of anything, including
Kelly.”

“What’s his deal, Doc?” I asked. “One day he’s complimenting
my determination, wanting to be my friend, and the next he wants to run me out
of town. I understand he’s well liked in these parts, but I’m also aware he’s
not liked by everyone.”

“Nobody is liked by everyone,” said Doc. “Not even me. There
are some folks who would cross the street just to avoid running into me.”

“It’s more than that with him, I can tell.”

“Throughout history, when things take a turn for the worst,
most people turn to the church,” said Doc. “It gives them comfort and a place
to feel safe. He’s providing that for this town. Over half the people in it are
part of his congregation now. That makes him a powerful man.”

“Do you go to his church?”

“No, I don’t,” said Doc. “I have different beliefs, but
because I’m the only physician I have value. That keeps me from being shipped
out.”

“Shipped out?”

“Yep. If you don’t contribute to the wellbeing of the
community, you’re handed a gun and you go hold the line in Scottsboro or
Bridgeport.”

“And Rick controls that, doesn’t he?”

“He does,” said Doc. “You see, he was a small fish in a big
pond before all this happened. Now he’s a big fish in a very small pond. He
knows that.”

“You’re comfortable with that arrangement?”

“I am. In spite of any of his shortcomings, he’s the glue
holding this place together. Without his ability to control his congregation,
nothing would get accomplished. As we speak, his flock is building a proper
hospital near the church. We need it.”

“Doc, if you could’ve seen and heard him speaking to me
about Kelly, I don’t think you would’ve recognized him,” I said. “It was like
Jekyll and Hyde. I swear his eyes turned black.”

“Oh, he has a darker side, no doubt,” said Doc. “But he
wouldn’t be able to enforce any of our rules if he didn’t.”

“You seem almost too comfortable with all this.”

“Our town is not only surviving in this new environment,
we’re thriving,” said Doc. “I’m not comfortable with him, but I am comfortable
with Stevenson not being burned to the ground, its people murdered, and our way
of life destroyed. That would be the case if it weren’t for him. You wouldn’t
be walking with me, and you sure as well wouldn’t be courting Kelly. This isn’t
a perfect place, but it’s the only place we have.”

“So you’re telling me the best thing to do would be for me
to forget about Kelly and move on down the road?” I said.

“Hold on now,” said Doc, stopping and grabbing my arm. “I’m
not saying that at all, son. Not at all. I haven’t seen that girl smile in a
long time. She gets within a mile of you and she lights up. I haven’t seen
Perry this happy in years. Hell, Parker even likes having you around. He thinks
you spice things up. No, I don’t want you to leave and neither do they. You
just need to avoid Rick for a while. Let things cool down a bit. Just like you,
he doesn’t want to do anything that’ll jeopardize his status with Kelly.”

“He’s married,” I said. “You don’t find that odd behavior
for a community spiritual leader?”

“These days, kid, I don’t find anything strange or
impossible. Kelly’s a very desirable woman. I don’t care what label he carries,
he’s still a man.”

After arriving at the house, Doc and I sat on the front
porch and continued our conversation. Over and over, he reminded me of how good
we had it compared to others. It was a textbook lesson in tolerance. I could
sense he didn’t hold Rick in the highest regard, but he accepted him as a
leader. Take Kelly out of the equation, and I would’ve as well. He reminded me
of that, too. The problem was that I couldn’t take her out of the equation. As
we were sipping on our gasoline, she came walking up the drive with Joey.

“You need an escort home, little fella?” asked Joey,
slinging the rifle over his shoulder.

“No, he doesn’t,” answered Kelly. “This one and I need to
have a talk. Doc, could you give us the porch, please?”

“As much as I’d love to stick around for this, I’m gonna hit
the hay,” said Doc.

“Goodnight, Doc,” I said, standing and shaking his hand.
“Thanks for the talk.”

“Anytime, son.”

“Good luck,” said Joey, turning to make a hasty escape.

Kelly sat in the rocker next to me and picked up my glass.
“I think you have a problem.”

“That’s only my second drink,” I said.

“Not with this,” said Kelly, polishing it off. “With being
an adult.”

“Kelly, I’m sorry if I –”

“Haven’t you done enough talking today?” asked Kelly,
cutting me off. “We fuck and then the entire town knows in less than twelve
hours. What were you thinking?”

“I –”

“I thought I was giving myself to a man, not a teenage boy
needing to announce his conquest.”

I turned away from her, looking out into the night, biting
the shit out of my tongue. Remembering what Doc taught me about tolerance, I
thought it was the best course of action. At least she was talking to me.

“Look at me,” said Kelly. “I like you. I like you very much,
but what you did was stupid. Do you have any idea how much trouble this is
going to bring us? I know Rick has a thing for me. I’ve always known. But he
hasn’t done anything inappropriate or made me feel uncomfortable. He knows the
boundaries and he stays on his side. It hurt me that he had to find out by listening
to Joey tell Perry how lucky you were to see me naked.”

“He did what?” I said, lowering my head into my hands. “I’m
gonna kill him.”

“That’s what I’m talking about,” said Kelly. “I’m telling
you that you hurt my friend, and you’re thinking about beating Joey’s ass
because he blabbed. Which one do you think is more important to me right now?
Which one do you think is upsetting me?”

“The last thing I want to do is upset you. I made a mistake
confiding in my cousin. I didn’t think it would spread like wildfire. That
wasn’t my intent.”

“The sad thing is, if I wasn’t upset with you, we’d be
upstairs in my room tearing each other’s clothes off. We’d be having another
one of those amazing moments you talked about. But because of you being so
inconsiderate, I’m now more concerned about how Rick looks at me than I am with
you being inside me.”

That one hurt. That one got my attention.

“I know you didn’t mean for this to happen, sweetheart, but
it did,” said Kelly. “Now we have to deal with it. I’m tired. You need to go
home now.”

She called me sweetheart.

After she gave me a brilliant kiss to let me know I’d
survive my stupidity, I reluctantly walked off the porch. I hated saying
goodbye to that woman. I made a promise to myself that I’d take whatever Rick
could throw at me. They were just words. Her actions meant more.

On a stretch of road between our houses, thick woods flanked
both sides. It was pitch black on a moonless night when I felt eyes on me. I
reached back for the handles of my guns. Clenching my teeth, I remembered they
were sitting on my dresser.

Pushing aside the thought of how stupid I was to walk alone
and unarmed, I stopped, dropping to a knee. My eyes were useless, so I closed
them and lowered my head. If I heard a twig snap, at least I’d know in which
direction to run. Crouching down, I made myself as small a target as possible.

When the pair of raccoons crossed the road six feet in front
of me, I stood and exhaled. They couldn’t care less about me and continued into
the woods on the other side. I continued home, arriving shortly after without
any more encounters. As I stood on the porch, I turned to look down the dark
road. I still felt those eyes.

Waking up the next morning before the rest of the house, I
started breakfast for the family. I knew Rick was just trying to establish his
dominance, but his words about me taking advantage cut deep. Putting all the
drama aside, I needed to contribute more to the family.

After glaring at Joey when he came downstairs and taking the
jabs and jokes from Uncle Perry, I helped check items off the household to-do list.
When our home was spotless we headed outside for yard work and tending to the
gardens. It felt good working side by side with the people who saved my life
and welcomed me as one of their own.

By early afternoon we finished the list and prepared to make
a trip into town. This was part of a daily routine for Perry and Joey. It
allowed them to keep up with news in the community and be extra hands for any
projects or repairs that needed to be done.

When we headed out Joey told us he had an errand to run. He
said he’d be back for dinner. Perry didn’t like the idea of him going off
alone, but Joey wouldn’t allow either of us to tag along. I had a good idea
where he was going.

We reached the edge of town and Perry wanted to stop in and
see Doc. I graciously declined, knowing I’d run into Kelly. I thought it best
to give her a little more time before I showed my face. I walked into the
museum to find Bruce and Parker hammering away on the steam tractor.

“Good timing,” said Bruce. “Parker’s swinging that hammer
like a little girl. He’s all used up.”

“Ever had your ass kicked by a little girl?” said Parker,
surrendering the hammer to me. “I gotta go take a Bruce. I’ll be back in a
few.”

I made short work of the hammering on my side. I tightened several
bolts as Bruce stood back to inspect the progress. He was looking to have the third
tractor running in a few days. Another steam tractor meant another field could
be plowed and crops harvested by fall. (I wondered if the garden I planted on
my parents’ land survived the blast.)

“I want to thank you again for helping us out by going up to
the campground.” said Bruce. “I still have heartburn about asking you to do
that.”

“It turned out well,” I said. “I made a couple new friends
and got to see a waterfall.”

“Got a little more than that from what I hear,” said Bruce,
grinning. “I guess you should be thanking me then, huh?”

“That kid has a big mouth,” I said.

“Who does?”

“Joey.”

“Joey didn’t say anything to me,” said Bruce. “You just did,
though. I was only teasing you ‘cause I knew she went up there to fetch you
down. When you two came strolling back the next morning, I just figured you
stayed up there ‘cause it was getting dark. Damn, son. You don’t mess around,
do ya?”

“I –”

“So you’re bangin’ Kelly,” said Parker, walking through the
back door, pulling his suspenders over his shoulders. “Nice. Tell me every
detail, boy.”

“Shut up, you old pervert,” said Bruce. “Leave him alone.”

“Guess I’ll just have to find out what it’s like for myself
then,” said Parker.

“You’ll have to find your shriveled up pecker first,” said
Bruce. “When’s the last time you saw that thing?”

“When I put it in your mouth while you sleeping last night.”

“I’ll never get that visual out of my head,” I replied.
“Thank you both for that.”

“You’re welcome,” said Parker, picking up a wrench.

After working with those two for an hour, my face was
hurting from laughter. Uncle Perry joined us, adding his jabs to the mix. When
Bruce was satisfied they’d put in a good day’s work, he walked me out back to
where they made their peach flavored gasoline.

He showed me how to operate the moonshine still, taking care
to point out all the dangers involved in the process. It had a simple elegance
and beauty as the late afternoon sun reflected off the polished copper boiler
and condensing can. All the fittings were brass, and lead-free solder held
everything in place. Turning a valve, Bruce poured a fresh jar for the gang.

It wasn’t hard for Joey to find us after he finished his
errand. He told us he could hear the laughter from the street. As I poured him
a glass of spirits, he motioned for me to step inside with him.

“Everything’s good with me and Tucker,” said Joey. “I
thought you’d want to know. It felt good burying the hatchet after so many
years. We had a couple drinks and laughed about how silly all this was.”

“I’m proud of you, brother,” I said. “I had a feeling that’s
where you were going.”

“Yeah,” said Joey, lowering his head. “It’s the least I
could do after getting you in so much hot water. I had no idea she heard what I
said. I’m sorry about that, bro. Is everything okay with you two?”

“We’re working on it,” I said. “I think we’ll be fine.”

“Listen, J.D. and Tucker told me about what you did to them
on account of what I said. My big mouth almost got them killed. Were you in
some kind of Special Forces or something?”

“No,” I said. “I was never in the military.”

“Dang,” said Joey, shaking his head. “Those two were born in
those hills. Sneaking up on them ain’t easy at all. You shook ‘em up a bit.”

“Not my intent,” I said. “I’m guessing they’re still a
little sore about that.”

“Naw, they’re just sore they didn’t see it coming. I think
they’ll be paying more attention now, though. It’s probably the reason why they
found those strangers camping on the edge of their land. J.D. said he got close
enough to see the color of their eyes through his scope.”

“Any trouble?” I asked.

“He said he didn’t go down introducing himself, but one of
them had some scars on his neck,” said Joey. “They said you might be interested
in that.”

 I stopped breathing.

“Why would they say that?” asked Joey. “You know them?”

Fighting back the urge to grab the AR and run full speed up
into the hills, I wanted to be careful not to let Joey think something was
wrong. It had to be them.

“Cousin?” said Joey, bringing me back.

“No,” I said. “I can’t think of why they’d say that. Maybe
they’re worried they’re heading for Stevenson.”

“Maybe. I don’t know, either,” said Joey. “You think we
should go check them out?”

“No. If J.D. and Tucker aren’t worrying about them, neither
should we,” I said. “We’ll just keep our eyes peeled for the next couple of
days.”

“Okay,” said Joey. “How about another drink?”

“Sure.”

It was difficult thinking about anything else. I was still
laughing and slapping backs, but my mind was in those hills, working out how to
get my hands around that scar. I’d leave early in the morning before anybody awoke.

J.D. was smart enough not to give Joey any details, knowing
he’d go after them on the spot. (More than likely, it was also the same group
that attacked River and murdered her husband and little girl.) It meant he was
smart enough not to let the cowards out of his sight until I arrived. I took
smaller sips from my glass.

At the end of their day, Doc and Kelly came through the door
to find the five of us sitting around the still. I tried to block her view of
me handing my glass to Bruce. It was a weak attempt, but I earned a smile from
her.

“I told you she’d come lookin’ for me,” said Parker.

“I thought our date was tomorrow night.” said Kelly.

“Honey, I don’t want to date you. I just want to –”

“Parker!” said Bruce, kicking him in the shin.

“Dance,” said Parker, rubbing his leg, glaring at Bruce. “I
just want to dance with her. Jeez.”

“Looking forward to it,” replied Kelly. “I’ve seen your
moves. I hope I can keep up.”

“Many have tried; all have failed.”

“Since you’re all going to find out anyway,” said Kelly,
looking at me and warming up the lasers, “I’m inviting him over for dinner
tonight, and Doc’s going to stay here with you for a bit. When you’re all done
talking about what’s happening at the house, Doc’s going to spend the night at
the clinic.”

She dropped her bag and reached up for the zipper on her
jacket. Walking over to Parker, she slid it down, showing the ninety-year-old
man her bikini top with more cleavage than he’d seen in half a century. Leaning
over him, putting her chest a few inches from his face, she braced herself on
the arms of his chair.

“He’s staying at the clinic because what I’ll be doing is
going to be loud, sweaty, and non-stop until we both pass out from exhaustion.”

It got so quiet a pin drop would’ve sounded like a hammer
being thrown through a glass window. Parker couldn’t open his eyes wide enough
to take in the image in front of him. Kelly kissed him on top of his head,
zipped up her jacket, and walked away.

“Well, guys,” I said, standing and picking up her bag. “I’d
love to stay, but it seems like I have plans this evening. You gentlemen have a
good night. Sweet dreams, old-timers.”

“I hate you,” said Parker.

Waiting for me on the sidewalk in front of the museum, she
was standing with her arms crossed. There was no smile when she took her bag
from me. I couldn’t hide my smile when she took my hand.

“Is he still alive?” said Kelly, keeping her eyes forward as
we walked.

“Barely,” I replied. “That was quite a show.”

“I’m still not happy with you.”

“I didn’t expect that you would be,” I said. “At least not
this soon.”

“That’s what pisses me off the most,” said Kelly. “It’s hard
for me to stay angry with you when it’s harder not having you around. It’s not
fair.”

“I’m glad you’re having a tough time with that.”

“Don’t get cocky. That little show back there was for them.
I’m still not sure what I’m going to do with you.”

“At this point I’m happy we’re walking down the street
holding hands, talking about what an idiot I’ve been. That’s enough for me.”

“Wow,” said Kelly. “You really do want to get laid again,
don’t you?”

“Yes, I do.”

Her mood lightened as we continued our stroll to the house.
I did my best to put everything else out of my head, but it wasn’t easy. I knew
in less than twenty-four hours I’d be face to face with the monsters that had brutalized
her and River. I’d be closer to redemption than at any other point in my life
since Sam died. I wanted to kill them for what they did to Kelly. I was going
to make them suffer for what they did to Sam. In my mind, all cowards were the
same.

When my foot hit the first step on the porch, I felt the
eyes return. Scanning the well-lit area, I didn’t see anything moving behind
me. My guns weren’t on the dresser this time. I felt the weight of them on my
belt as I stepped onto the porch. Kelly turned around, reaching out for me.

“Dinner will have to wait. I know what I’m going to do with
you now.”

Nothing else mattered. The eyes in the woods would have to
wait.