Without You (2 page)

He lifted his hands. “Okay. If this is something you want to do, then by all means, you can do it but not alone. I want someone with you.”

I glanced over and looked at Will. After helping Daddy get Banjo out of the trailer, he had been leaning against the barn, watching everything.

I smiled. “I won’t be alone. Will can help me with the training.”

Will pushed off the barn and smiled back at me. “I’d love to help.”

Daddy nodded his head. “All right—as long as you only train when Will is with you.” He turned and faced Will. “Will, you’ve broken in about three horses so far, correct?”

Will nodded his head. “Yes, sir. I’ve broken in two for Luke along with my own.”

Daddy smiled. “Good. Keep my little girl safe at all times. That’s my number one rule.”

“Always, sir. I’d never let anything happen to Lex.”

I felt the heat move through my cheeks as Will smiled at my father, and then he turned to me and smiled bigger.

Will and I had been working together and training my horse for the last few weeks. Today, he had me standing on a stool, grooming Banjo.

“Lean over his back, Lex. Then, let him turn to the right and reach for the carrot.”

I did as he’d said. “What is this teaching him—with the carrot?”

“
Teaches him to stay well positioned for mounting
.”

“Oh,” I said as I smiled.

Will had been the one leaning over Banjo the last three days. My baby had bucked a few times, but Will would just slide off and land on his feet.

I loved this horse more than anything. He was proving to be a gentle giant. To bond us even closer, I’d been coming down and sitting in his stall with him at night. I’d fallen asleep in the stall a few times, and Will had carried me back up to the house four times already. Last night, Daddy had told Will that if I kept up at it, that would be all the exercise Will would need. I didn’t want to admit it, but the last two times, I had done it on purpose just so Will would carry me in his arms.

“Lex?”

“Mmm?” I said as I daydreamed of being in Will’s arms.

Will snapped his fingers in my face. “Earth to Lex.”

“Sorry. I was lost in thought.”

He let out a chuckle. “I’ll say. Hop down, babe, and let me put on the bareback pad.”

My cheeks instantly felt hot, and the lower pit of my stomach clenched. I slowly slid down and looked at Will as he walked around. I couldn’t pull my eyes from him. I stepped off the stool, moved a bit forward, and leaned against my big guy. Banjo didn’t even budge.

Will stopped in front of me and went to turn to put the pad on, but he stopped mid-movement. When our eyes met, I was pretty sure I felt the earth rumble. He smiled slightly, and I licked my lips in preparation for what I prayed would be our first kiss.

His eyes darted down to my lips before he quickly looked back into my eyes. “Lex?”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t want to ruin our friendship, but…”

I smiled slightly and willed him to move closer to me.
Kiss me. Please, Will, just kiss me already.

When he dropped the pad onto the floor, my heart began racing. He stepped closer and placed one hand on Banjo and the other hand on the side of my face. His thumb gently moved across my skin as he closed his eyes.

Oh God.

His touch did things to my body that made me want to get on my knees and beg him to satisfy me.

He opened his eyes and gently bit down on his lower lip.

“Will…please…”

He leaned down and barely touched his lips to mine. “Lex, you don’t know how long I’ve wanted to kiss you.”

I ran my hand up his chest and around to his neck. When my hand pushed into his soft, wavy hair, I let out a moan. He smiled against my lips, and then he kissed me.

Everything from this point on would change.

Everything.

“Will, if my father catches us in here, he is going to be really upset.” I nervously looked back at the barn door.

“Lex, we’re both leaving for college in a few months. Don’t you think you need to let your dad know what school you picked?” Will said as he reached for my hand.

My father had it all planned out. He wanted me to go to the University of Texas like he had and get my degree in marketing, but I had other dreams. Will was going to Texas A&M to get his degree in agribusiness so that he could help Jeff, Colt, and my father run the ranch. I’d been accepted into both schools, and my parents were just waiting on me to say yes to the University of Texas.

It was Luke, Colt, and Will’s dream to take over the ranch someday. I had no doubt in my mind that they would all make great partners—if only Luke and Will would stop fighting…about me. Luke hated that Will and I had been sneaking around and seeing each other, and he’d threatened to tell my father on more than one occasion. The fights between Luke and Will would drive me insane. Each time, one or the other would end up with a black eye, and they would blame it on football.

It wasn’t like my father didn’t like Will. He loved Will…like a son.

Daddy had dreams for me though, and those dreams didn’t include a boy who would be working on a ranch. His dreams were of me moving to the city and getting to experience all that city-living would offer. Then, if I wanted to, I could decide to come back to Mason.

I wanted what my mother had. I wanted to live on the ranch, wake up and work in the garden every day, and see my husband off to work with a kiss every single morning. I wanted the life my parents had. They were both so happy, and I couldn’t figure out why my father didn’t want me to have that life.

Will moved his lips to my neck, and his hot breath on my skin caused my stomach to drop.

God…just being around him makes my body do such crazy things.

Grace had said I was just horny and that Will and I needed to at least move on to a little bit more than kissing. As she’d said, we needed to cop feels here and there. Will was such a gentleman, and he’d never once pushed me into doing anything I didn’t want to do.

I could hear Grace’s voice in my head.

My God, you’re eighteen. Stop piss-assing around about it, Alex. I swear y’all have liked each other since…what? Since you were ten years old?

I was eighteen now, and Will was seventeen. He would turn eighteen in August.

I had to smile though because Grace was all talk. She liked Michael Clark, but she had been too afraid to even talk to him up until this year.

“What are you smiling about, Lex?”

Since we were kids, Will was the only one who called me Lex, and I liked it that way. It was special—something just between the two of us, something only we shared together—and we could do it in front of everyone.

“Us.”

He pulled away and looked at me. “Us? What about
us
?”

I felt my cheeks turning red, and I was almost positive Will could feel the heat coming from them.

“You’re blushing, Lex? Why, honey?”

I looked down and away, but he brought his finger up to my chin and forced me to look at him.

“Alex? What about us?”

“I’m tired of hiding. I want to tell our parents that we’ve been dating. I want to tell my dad I’ve decided on A&M, and I want…I want…”

His smile was from ear to ear. “You want what, sweetheart?”

Oh God…his voice alone sends me over the edge.

“I want more…”
Damn it.
I couldn’t bring myself to say it.

“More of what?” he said with that stupid smile of his.

When he tilted his head and gave me that dimple, I knew he was teasing me.

I took a deep breath and quickly let it out. “I want to make love.”

Will’s smile faded, and he took a step back.

Oh no. What if he doesn’t feel the same? What if my feelings for him are stronger than his feelings for me? Oh. My. God. What if that’s the reason he’s never pushed me into anything more?

I instantly felt like a fool. I pushed past him and started to walk away.

“Wait, Lex…please just wait a second.” He reached for my arm.

I felt the tears burning my eyes as I looked everywhere but at him. “I’m…I’m sorry. I should have just kept my mouth shut. Obviously, you don’t feel the same way, so…”

I inwardly cursed Grace for even planting this in my head, and I hatched a plan to bitch her out the next time I saw her.

Before I knew what was happening, Will was backing me up until I came to a stop against the barn wall.

I looked up into his beautiful blue eyes. With his wavy light brown hair, he looked just like his father. I wanted to run my hands through his hair so badly. He was probably the sweetest guy I knew—besides Luke and Colt, who were both hopelessly romantic.

He ran the backs of his fingers down my face and smiled. My skin almost felt like it was burning where he touched. He bent down like he was going to kiss me, but he stopped just short of my lips. His eyes darted down to my lips and then back up to my eyes.

“Lex, I love you,” he whispered.

I sucked in a breath of air and fought like hell to keep the tears from falling. It wasn’t the first time he’d ever said it to me, but this time, it felt so…different. A tear fell, and he quickly brushed it away with his lips as he let out a low, soft moan.

“You have no idea how hard it is for me not to make love to you every time I’m with you. I want nothing more than to be with you, but I want it to be right. I want it to be perfect for you. I don’t want us to sneak into a barn or do it in a car. You deserve so much more than that, sweetheart. I want to make you feel special the first time we make love.”

Wow. Oh…just wow.
My breaths were coming out faster. I looked at his lips as I licked mine.

He closed his eyes. “You drive me mad with desire, Alexandra. You have to know that.”

Oh dear God…I think I might have an orgasm…right now…right here.

When he opened his eyes, they were filled with something I’d never seen before. The intense feeling of need I had for him grew about a hundred times.

I tried to talk, but only a whisper came out, “Will…”

When his lips touched mine, I let out a moan. I opened my mouth to him so that our tongues could explore each other like they had done a hundred times before. I brought my hands up and ran them through his hair. When he pushed himself into me, I felt his hard-on, and I wanted to wrap my legs around him so badly.

The kiss started to become passionate…until I heard someone clear his throat. I snapped my eyes open right as Will pulled back and scrunched up his face.

“Shit,” he whispered so that only I could hear.

He took a few steps away from me as he ran his hand through his hair.

Lord, help me
.

I wanted this boy, and even though I knew we had just been caught making out in my father’s barn, my desire for him was so intense that I wanted to cry. I never took my eyes off of him.

He winked at me before turning to the side. “Dad, Gunner, um…I mean, Mr. Mathews…um…I mean, sir…”

I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath.
Oh…holy…hell. My father just caught me making out in his barn.

I tried to compose myself as I pushed off the wall and turned to face my father and Will’s father, Josh. I wanted to giggle over Will struggling on how to address my father, but when I looked into my dad’s eyes, I knew that wouldn’t be the smartest thing to do.

“So…” Josh started to say as he shook his head and smiled at Will. “Damn, boy…you picked the wrong girl to get caught making out with in her daddy’s barn.”

I quickly glanced over at Will, who looked at my father and then back at his dad. He smiled slightly, but then he looked back at my father and swallowed hard.

Dragging in a deep breath, my father looked at us. “Alex, Will…I think y’all need to head on up to the house and wait for us on the back porch.”

Will and I looked at each other, and at the same time, we said, “Yes, sir.”

As we walked out of the barn, Will grabbed my hand right in front of my father.

Will looked at me, winked, and whispered, “I think that went well.”

I just looked at him with my mouth hanging open. “You must have a death wish.”