Without You (39 page)

I nodded my head and looked out the window. “What will happen to him?”

Officer Franks cleared her throat. “With your statement, Chrissie Weaver’s confession, and what Grace Johnson and Mr. Weaver witnessed, Blake will be charged with aggravated sexual assault.”

I snapped my head back to her. “But he didn’t…he didn’t…”

She nodded her head. “I know he didn’t. But Texas laws can move it up it from attempted to aggravated because he used Rohypnol, and it was thought out ahead of time.”

Deep down inside, I was glad. I wanted to see Blake rot in jail. “Oh…okay,” I whispered as I looked back out the window.

Janet and Officer Franks talked for a couple of minutes. After Officer Franks left, Janet sat down in a nearby chair.

“Alex, you were sexually assaulted. He touched you without your consent. You should talk to someone about it. You can’t deal with this on your own.”

I didn’t look at her as I said, “Can I talk to you?”

She reached for my hand. “If that’s what you want.”

I slowly nodded as I felt a tear moving down my face. “Yes,” I whispered as I closed my eyes.

I felt sleep beginning to take over. I hadn’t realized how tired I was.

Will…I’m so sorry. I didn’t fight hard enough.

I glanced over to Lex as she stared out the passenger window. The whole way from Austin to Mason, she didn’t utter a single word.

I thought back to my conversation with Janet.

“What do I need to do for Lex?”

Janet smiled. “Just be there for her, Will. She’s most likely going to withdraw a bit. Even though Blake didn’t rape her, he still violated her in more than one way. Be patient with her, love her, and don’t push her, but don’t let her push you away either.”

I nodded my head. “I love her so much. I just want to take away her pain.”

Janet grinned. “I know you do. I’ve talked to Mr. and Mrs. Mathews. Alex has seemed to develop a trust with me. Will, I’ve been in Alex’s shoes, except I was raped. I think she feels that I know what she is going through. I’ll do whatever I can to help her and her family.”

My heart instantly hurt for Janet. “I’m so sorry, Janet.”

She smiled back and shook her head. “I will help Alex through this, Will. I promise you.”

I pulled up and parked behind Gunner’s truck. Grace and Luke were heading to Austin today to pick up all of Grace’s and Lex’s things. Then, Luke was going to drive Lex’s car back to Mason.

I reached over and touched Lex’s arm, and she jumped. I quickly pulled my hand away as I felt the pain piercing my heart.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you, Lex.”

She turned and gave me a weak smile. “It’s okay.”

I returned her smile. “Let me get your door.”

I jumped out of the truck and jogged to her side. I opened the door and held my hand out for her. She was gripping her doll, Emma, tightly. She got out of the truck and began walking toward the back of the house.

“Um…Lex? Where are you going?”

Gunner and Ellie both walked out onto the front porch.

“Alex? Honey, where are you headed off to?” Ellie asked.

Lex didn’t bother to look over at her parents. “I’m going to see Banjo. I just need some time alone, if y’all don’t mind.”

I just stood there. I felt hopelessly lost as to what to do for Lex. Janet’s words kept playing over and over in my mind.

Don’t push her.

I watched as Lex made her way down to the barn. When I felt a hand on my shoulder, I turned to see Gunner.

“I don’t know what to do. I feel like…like she doesn’t want me around. She didn’t talk to me at all the whole way here, and when I touched her arm, she…she pulled away from me.” I could feel the tears in my eyes building, and the last thing I wanted to do was cry in front of Gunner.

He gripped my shoulder tightly as he nodded his head. “Come on, I’ve got some work to do on a fence. You can help me.” Gunner turned to Ellie. “Give her some time and then check on her.”

Ellie wiped a tear away and nodded her head.

Gunner slapped my back and headed toward his truck. I looked back toward the barn one more time, but Lex was gone. I walked to the truck and got in. Neither one of us said a word as we drove to the east pasture of the ranch. I leaned my head back and closed my eyes.

I wanted to scream. I wanted to hurt someone.

Blake.

I wanted to hurt Blake. I let out a long sigh.

Gunner cleared his throat. “When we were younger, Ellie was in a car accident, and it was during a time when we weren’t together.”

I snapped my head over to Gunner. “Did y’all break up or something?”

He smiled and nodded his head. “It was a misunderstanding, but yes, we were broken up for a bit. Anyway, she was trying to get to me when she had the accident. I remember sitting by her bedside for hours and hours, just praying she would be okay. I’d never felt so helpless in my life.”

That was how I was feeling right now. I looked out the front window.

“I know you feel the same way, Will. I know you want to take the pain away. Hell, the whole thing away. I’m feeling the same way. The restraint it is taking for me not to beat the fuck out of that little asshole is something I’m working on every day.”

I smiled as I turned to look at Gunner.

He glanced at me and winked. “You’re lucky. At least you and Colt got to get a hit in on the little prick.”

I nodded my head and chuckled sarcastically. “It wasn’t enough, sir. I wanted to kill him. I still want to, but…but I’m more worried about Lex. I can almost feel her pulling away from me, if that makes sense.”

Gunner parked his truck behind Jeff’s truck. “It makes sense.”

We both jumped out of the truck, and that was when I noticed my father, Jeff, Colt, and Luke standing against Colt’s truck.

I walked up to Jeff and shook his hand and then my father’s. Colt and Luke both walked up and gave me what the girls would call our bro hug.

“Boys, we wanted to talk to you about Alex—especially you, Will.” My father gave me a weak smile.

“What about, sir?” I asked.

Jeff cleared his throat as he looked at Luke. “Before you were born, Luke, your mother and I were expecting a baby. I know we’ve told you this along with the meaning behind your sister’s name before.”

Luke nodded his head. “Yes, sir, I remember.”

“What you don’t know is, that day, I walked away from your mother to go to another woman. It’s not what you think. It’s a long story, and honestly, it’s not one worth repeating. The point is, I left your mother…alone. I didn’t even know she was pregnant. She was upset, and she got on a horse to go riding with Ellie and Heather. Ari’s horse got spooked and threw her.”

Luke looked down and shook his head.

“By the time I found out what had happened, I rushed to the hospital. I still didn’t know your mother was pregnant. For all of about two minutes, I was happy as hell because she was okay. Then, she told me she lost the baby, and I was living in hell. I hadn’t been there for her, and to this day, I’ve never really forgiven myself for the pain and hurt I caused her.”

Jeff turned and looked at me. “You didn’t cause Alex’s pain, but I see on your face how you blame yourself. Will, you couldn’t have helped her any faster than you did.”

I nodded my head and wiped away a tear.

“Ari slowly began pulling away from me…from everyone. I let it happen because I didn’t know what else to do. I figured she needed time…maybe she needed to hate me for a bit…to blame me. I just didn’t know. Boys, Alex is going to pull away. I know how the three of you fiercely look after each of these girls. You’ll have to give Alex space though, but
don’t
let her push any of you away.”

“Dad, how do we know if we are pushing her or not?” Luke asked.

Jeff shook his head. “Son, I don’t know how to answer that.”

Colt kicked a rock. “How did you and Ari come back together?”

Jeff smiled as he looked at Gunner and then my father. “One day, I just decided I wanted my girl back. I was tired of just sitting back, so I didn’t let her push anymore, and she pushed like hell for me to leave her alone, but I stood my ground.” He smiled and looked at Luke. “Your mother and I firmly believe that on the day she came back to me, we made another life.”

Luke smiled as his face blushed.

“You see, boys, I know y’all look at us and think you want the perfect relationship that you see with your own parents. I’ve overheard y’all talking about it. Just know that some beautiful sunsets have had rainstorms that came before it, but the rain only makes the sunset that more beautiful.”

“Dad?” Colt asked.

“Yes, son?” Gunner said.

“My heart hurts so bad for Alex.” Colt was beginning to get choked up.

I had to fight to hold back my tears. I was pretty sure Luke was feeling the same, but there was no way I was going to look at him.

“I know, son, I know. As do all of our hearts. Just watch over her this summer, boys. Show her how much you love and care about her. Just be there for her if she needs you. And know that none of you could have protected her from this. Don’t let guilt play a hand in this, boys. You can’t be with the girls twenty-four/seven.”

Each of us nodded. My father walked up to me, pulled me into his arms, and held me. I couldn’t hold it in any longer. I let go of the anger, fear, and guilt that had been building the last couple of days.

“I love her, Dad. I love her so much,” I cried out.

He held me tighter. “I know you do, Will.”

“Oh God, Dad…why? Why did this happen to her? Why?” I no longer cared what Luke or Colt might think. I cried out as my father held me.

The next thing I knew, Gunner had his arms around me. I wasn’t sure how long the three of us stood there, but I finally regained some composure. When I pulled away, I saw both my father and Gunner wiping their tears away.

I knew what I had to do, and I needed to do it right now. “Gunner, sir, may I speak with you alone?”

Gunner looked at me, surprised, but he nodded his head. I looked back at Luke and Colt, and they both smiled. Luke and Libby had both asked me why I said I was Lex’s fiancé. I’d told them that Lex and I were secretly engaged. Then, I’d told Colt, Lauren, Meagan, Grace, and Taylor. I was sure Colt and Luke knew what I was about to do now.

Gunner walked a ways away and leaned up against a fence. He looked at me as I gathered up the courage to ask him the one thing I’d been dreaming of asking for a few years now.

I cleared my throat, took a deep breath, and looked Gunner in the eyes. “I’d like to ask Lex to marry me, sir. It wouldn’t be anytime soon. I know she has a lot to deal with, but I want nothing more than to make her my wife. I’d like your blessing, sir.”

Gunner didn’t do anything at first. I silently prayed to God that my life wouldn’t end here, in the east pasture, at the hands of Gunner Mathews. I held my gaze and didn’t back down. I loved Lex, and I wasn’t going to walk away from her—not now, not ever.

Gunner slowly let a smile move across his face. Finally, his full crooked smile appeared, and he let out a small chuckle. “William Gregory Hayes, do you have any idea that you just proved what type of man you are?”

My mouth dropped open. Anytime my parents used my full name, my ass would be in trouble, so I wasn’t sure how to read this situation.

“Um…no, sir, I guess I don’t. Truth be told, your smile used along with my full name has me all kinds of confused.”

Gunner threw his head back and laughed. When he looked back at me, he shook his head. “Will, after what happened to Alex, not very many guys would stick around—let alone, ask her father for her hand in marriage. I’m proud of you, Will. I’m proud that you never once backed down when I pushed you and Alex for a break, that you never gave up on the one thing you loved. It shows the man you’ve become. Your daddy and mama have done a fine job in raising you, Will.”

Gunner smiled as he reached his hand out for mine and shook it. “Will, I’d be honored to have you ask Alex to marry you, and I’d be even more honored to call you my son-in-law—after y’all graduate from college and Alex starts her career, and not a second before then.”

I smiled, and the sense of relief washing over my body was unreal.

“When are you planning on asking her?” Gunner’s face became a bit more serious.

“I wanted to ask her this summer, but I know she has so much going through her head right now. Even though we’ve talked about it, I think it is best if I wait for a bit.”

Gunner nodded his head. “I agree. Thank you for taking her feelings into account, Will.”

“Always, sir. I love Lex more than anything. I’ll spend every day of my life loving her and protecting her the best I can, sir.”

Gunner pushed off the fence, grabbed me, and pulled me in for a hug. “Jesus, it was just yesterday when you were riding on top of my shoulders, telling me you wanted to be a rancher.”

He slapped my back hard—probably harder than he needed to—before he pushed back and winked at me. “Now, was that so hard, Will?” He turned and walked toward Jeff and my father.

I stood there, stunned. “I’ll never understand that man—ever,” I whispered.