Wolf Asylum (21 page)

“Dar!” The familiar figure embraced, “They tricked me, I'm so sorry!”

Darwin grabbed hold of his prize and squeezed tightly knowing what he had found. He recognized the smell right off, sweet and husky.

“My God,” he uttered.

Steve wrapped his arms around Darwin tightly and gently moved his hand up and down his back. Both had a story to tell but neither wanted their reunion to end. The two friends held each other as their soured souls merged and for the first time ever, they were complete.

“They lied to me!” Steve insisted. “I don't know how long I can protect you.”

Darwin loosened his grip, still refusing to let go and looked Steve into his big eyes to see that it really was him. As their pupils met, Darwin felt a flutter in his heart and a flush rushing across his cheeks. At that moment Darwin didn't care what happened, as long as he could remain with his friend.

“Does it really matter?” Darwin asked in a euphoric state.

“I should never have made you! I'm so sorry!” Steve implored.

“How? When?” Darwin asked.

“I don't know how much time we have. I brought you here to save you. If they get a hold of you then you're done. We've got to move! There are places here where we can hide, but we have to move now!” Steve said.

“Where is
here
?” Darwin asked, still holding onto Steve by the arms.

“The afterlife. I honestly don't get this place. It's a universe of its own with infinite environments. It's their domain; they're here, but they aren't everywhere. They monitor the gates, and they seem to be able to watch most of what we do in the waking world, but here they rely on the petty tortures to do their bidding.”

He grabbed Darwin by the hand and began moving down a dirt trail through a dead forest, which to Darwin appeared to be the black and white inverse of the real world. The sound of the area was hollow and void of existence, with a hint of wind that sounded more like air being sucked in overhead, but the trees remained unmoved.

“Like them, I could watch you in the real world,” Steve said. “By the way, a San Francisco gay bar was perfect. That meant a lot to me.”

“You did hear me!” Darwin said, pausing for a moment realizing what that meant. “I'm kind of embarrassed now.”

“Don't be!” Steve said, stopping on the trail momentarily. “You've gotta let go of that fear, it's killing you! Maybe I could never have admitted that in life, but I can now.”

For a split second Darwin thought about moving in for a kiss, and Steve looked like he was prepared for it. With his nerves kicked on to full and his legs beginning to shake he reverted to his internalized bigotry and pulled back.

“Yo! Steve!” A tall solid man shouted from up the trail, motioning to enter a rock face.

“That's Shawn, he's been helping me.” Steve grabbed Darwin by the arm and moving towards the fissure in the rock.

“What is he?” Darwin asked.

“He's like everyone who comes here. They got their poison into him like they did me. The infection will overtake him in time, but he's fighting it,” Steve said.

As Darwin approached the one called Shawn, he could see he was human in appearance for the most part. He was tall, over six foot-four, with a solid frame and wide shoulders. He wore a traditional southern wife-beater that was stained with various colors and his arms were decorated with tattoos in entire sleeves. The ink under his skin moved like ripples in the water. Shawn had a large bald head with two bulbous areas on each side of his scalp. Despite his size and odd appearance, Darwin felt safe.

“Shawn, this is Darwin,” Steve introduced, remembering human pleasantries.

“Hey man, how's it going?” Shawn asked, extending his oversized hand for introductions.

Darwin looked down and placed his own hand inside Shawn's palm which was quickly enveloped in a rigorous shake. Darwin could see the tattoo on Shawn's forearm come into focus with an image he recognized as himself overseeing the internment of the humans from New Haven.

“That's pretty cool,” Darwin said as he watched the truth in the ink unfold.

“Yeah, it's one of my gifts. I see the past and future,” Shawn admitted as he watched the story unfold. “Looks like they got you good.”

“What do you mean?”

“They feed on the evil. The evil you are, the evil you reap and the evil you provide. You've done wicked things and the worst part was you did it because you wanted to.” Shawn released Darwin's hand, ending the forearm show. “Come inside, we'll be safer there.”

“We had to eat,” Darwin defended as the group entered the cave entrance that Darwin recognized from the Doolittle in his office.

“That's what they wanted you to believe. It's a disease, nothing more. You can manage your condition with animals, but the lust to kill will always be there whether you like it or not. Once you eat the flesh of man, it's very hard…no, it's impossible to stop. The thing is if you stopped eating humans you probably would go insane, it's a withdrawal that never ends. In that much of the story, they told you the truth. That's how they get their hooks into you,” Shawn finished.

“Were you a werewolf?” Darwin asked.

“No,” he simply replied. “I feel nothing but shame in what I did, but they target people like us. I sold my soul to avenge the murder of my daughter. A cop raped and dismembered her, but of course the evidence was too light, but I knew the truth. I knew in my heart the son of a bitch had done it but what could I do? You could feel the slime coming off of him when you were around him. I was enraged, and I honestly thought about shooting him dead in the street. My life was over anyway, she was all I had.”

“So, why didn't you?” Darwin asked.

“I probably would have, in time. I was building up the courage, I think. I may have been a rough and tough biker guy, but I had never murdered anyone. I wanted this fucker to pay. So, I'm getting a tattoo at this seedy place, the part of town no sane person would go to unless they had a death wish. I wanted a portrait of my daughter on my chest over my heart. The tattoo artist showed me his portfolio and his work was amazingly perfect. So he begins, and we get to talking. I tell him what happened and what I'd do if I had the chance. I never said I'd sell my soul, only that I would give anything to avenge her.”

“You don't have to do this, Shawn,” Steve said.

“Your friend needs to know what they do to us,” Shawn sulked. “I changed a few hours after I left the tattoo parlor. My daughter's image came to life and wrapped around my heart, squeezing my pain out. I went into a rage and I couldn't stop. I went to the cop's house. Instinctively I just knew where he lived. I was strong, powerful and I knew nothing could stop me. I opened the door to his home; it was locked, but my hand was able to open it anyway. The dead bolt and chain just unlocked for me. Once I was in…I saw his family pictures hanging on the wall.”

“You stopped?” Darwin asked.

“No, I went berserk. I killed his children and his wife. I tore them apart with my bare hands. It felt so satisfying. I would make him feel the same way I had felt. The cop was in the living room passed out; he never woke up the whole time. When I was done, I placed his daughter's head on his lap and put his hands in her blood, and rubbed his face with his own bloodied fingers,” Shawn paused before admitting his true shame. “I killed an innocent man's family. He never killed my daughter. A few days after I had done my first crime, the police found a man dead in his home, with Polaroid's of my daughter and other children. But the cop went to prison for the murder of his family. My tattoos came to life not long afterwards and I got to see what life I had condemned him to. I was so convinced he was involved…”

Shawn took a minute remembering his crime. He never cried but he was clearly weeping on the inside. His small audience stood in silence not wanting to interrupt his coming to terms.

“Afterwards I would lose it, uncontrollably and at random. I killed again and again, and it always felt so satisfying and addicting. But I was killing people; destroying lives for the minor crimes they had committed in life. If I developed a negative opinion or belief about someone, I would lose myself and kill.

“It's confusing how it happens. They got me because they wanted you. I'm not sure why they didn't just recruit you, they had me do it,” Steve admitted.

“How did it happen?” Darwin asked, finally learning the answer that had been a mystery since the beginning.

Steve reminded, “It was the first week in September. I went to the forest north of town. I always wanted to go, but you would never go with me.”

“I hadn't been there since the night Zack saw our father killed,” Darwin replied.

“I know. I get that, but I still wanted to go. So finally, after years of waiting, I got up the nerve and went by myself. I explored all day not really knowing what I would find. It was bliss. I didn't see a soul all day…and I didn't leave the woods with my soul either. I found this spring and I was naked, lounging around in the warm waters. I'd never felt so at peace.”

“You saw the hot spring! I thought I had been the only one,” Darwin barked.

“It was the spring that made me,” Steve said. “I don't know how, or why, but I could feel something happening to me in the water. It felt like claws scraping across my skin, it hurt, but I enjoyed it. Then my mind began to fill with images. Teddy and Bruce, my parents, you and the moon; blood, there was blood everywhere. Finally I broke from my trance and bolted out of the spring with this strange tingling under my skin. I could see actual claw marks running across my body, but they quickly disappeared. When I looked back at the pool, it was boiling blood. I could smell it too.”

“So, you never saw anyone?” Darwin asked.

“No,” Steve said quietly. “They took my soul because it was free for the taking. I was so angry at the world that I would have given anything to unleash. I didn't think I had become a monster but I knew something was different about me. The whole ride home I knew I was changing. I kept seeing the moon and you and me. It was an overwhelming urge inside of me, welling up. I felt a strength inside of me and I felt better than I ever had before. It was a gift, no doubt about it. I got angry later that night…about life, or the lack of life-like I would normally. I felt it happening and I lost control, I changed for the first time and then I knew what had happened. It was the next day I bit you; it was this feeling that wouldn't stop until it was done. I know that's what they wanted.”

Steve slumped his shoulders and let out a sigh readying himself for more of the story.

“I came over to your house the next day. I climbed through the window into your room. You'd been drinking, heavily. We talked for a bit but you were drifting in and out. I told you I had something fantastic for you but I wasn't sure how to give it to you. You mumbled something and closed your eyes. I tried to wake you but you were out. I was eager and I didn't want to wait. I jumped on top of you, lifted you up and looked at your shoulder. I held you for a minute, maybe more. I was filled with all kinds of feelings. I didn't want to hurt you, but at the same time I wanted to kill you-I was so confused and scared. Finally I decided to give in. I gently bit down on your shoulder and my mouth began to fill with your blood. That was really the first time ever I knew who you were and how you felt about me.”

Darwin blushed and crossed his arms, closing himself off.

“I pulled back. It was hard; I didn't want to. You were my first experience with human blood. I couldn't believe what it had done to me, how it made me feel. Somehow I managed to pull away. I licked the wound of any blood but the bleeding had more or less stopped already. I put you back down, covered you and left.”

“Why didn't you say anything?” Darwin asked, completely confused.

“I tried. Lord knows I tried but I was adjusting to my own situation. Once I had a taste of your blood I had to kill. I kept my distance because I wasn't sure what I would do if I couldn't control myself. I didn't want to hurt you, so I left town for the full moons. And I was right; I did kill and I didn't want to stop. Part of me hoped you would seek me out if it had worked, and I wasn't sure I had infected you. After your first full moon, nothing seemed different. I guess I thought it hadn't worked.”

Steve stopped as his eyes glossed over. “It must have been hard for you, changing into the monster, not knowing what you were,” Steve apologized.

“But you knew! You knew I was a goddamn werewolf! You made me! Why the fuck wouldn't you have said-oh by the way Darwin I bit you while you were asleep and you're probably going to change. Something…anything! Give me one real explanation why you wouldn't come to me!” Darwin demanded.

“I was embarrassed to know how you felt. I couldn't face you knowing that,” Steve stopped, getting to the heart of it. “I was ashamed. For years we were picked on, assaulted, tormented, accused of being gay…to find out that it was true; that we were. I guess I knew it deep inside, but I had repressed it to an unhealthy level. So did you. Our spirits had been destroyed through years of torture everyday, all day. Picked on for being something we weren't, only to find out they were right about us all along. You have to know how that felt. If our nemesis was right about us being gay, were they right about it being wrong? When they said we should kill ourselves, was that right too? Did they see something about us that we couldn't see? We were pieces of shit and it crushed me, it fucked me up good to know the truth about us.”