Wolf Lover: Konochur (New Scotia Pack Book 2) (6 page)

“Do what you can.”

“Understood.”

CHAPTER 6

As the weeks went by, Konochur knocked on Lessie’s door on more days than not. They fell into a relaxed, easy companionship that gave Lessie a measure of comfort. She thought about Jimmy, of course, and missed him terribly when she was alone at night in the bed they had shared. She’d left her girlhood home with him and had never thought about being on her own in the world. Why would she? She’d believed she was destined to grow old and die with a handsome young werewolf who would outlive her by centuries.

When Conn, Lestriv, and Lily neared the chicken coop, the hens set up an almost deafening cacophony of squawked greetings. Lessie turned toward Conn and said, “Seems you make a favorable impression on the girls wherever you go.”

Conn gave her his most charming, most roguish, lopsided grin. “’Tis no’ the chickens I’m aimin’ to please. In case ye have no’ figured that out by now.”

Lestriv’s face flushed with color, signaling that she took his meaning well enough and that she secretly admired that grin of his more than she should. Conn’s way of making ordinary chores fun had penetrated her grief and brought laughter bubbling to the surface again and again. Each one of those momentary bursts of joy was followed by a pang of guilt, but it seemed she was a helpless victim of Konochur’s antics.

Lily and Lessie laughed while the chickens backed up to Conn indicating their requests for the thrill of a few seconds of flight. They pecked at each other for a better place in line.

“Come now, ladies,” Conn said. “A few seconds of joy awaits all of ye.”

Afterward, as Conn watched Lessie feed the chickens, he asked, “What are ye thinkin’?”

She stopped momentarily, smiled at him, then resumed scattering feed. “That chickens dream about being eagles.”

Conn gave her a hearty laugh. “Aye. Seems so.” When his grin resolved to a teasing smile, he asked, “And what is it ye are dreamin’ about, bonny lass?”

A frown creased her brow as she shook her head vigorously. “I have no right to be dreaming about anything, Conn. Not now.”

She glanced at Konochur, who looked both serious and concerned. “’Tis no’ true, Lessie. Yer mate would no’ expect ye to entomb yerself in the past. Ye mated for a lifetime, but his lifetime is over. I know ye loved him. I know ye miss him. But ye have a long life ahead.” He pointed toward Lily. “And much to live for.”

While Lestriv had stopped dead still and was staring at the ground, Conn was kicking himself for going down that path in the middle of a chicken coop. Stalkson Grey had taken him aside and warned him that a successful courtship with a human would entail considerably more finesse than that required by werewolves. He thought he’d been prepared to go slow and be patient, but sometimes he felt like he would burst if he couldn’t be honest about his intentions. He’d been relaxed and comfortable, let his guard down, and before he knew what was happening his unguarded feelings had tumbled out of his mouth.

He took a deep breath, exhaled a long sigh and said, “Lessie, forgive me. I know I do no’ have the right to offer an opinion, but every creature has the right to dream.” He chuckled. “Even chickens. Yer mate would no’ wish to take that from ye. I know because I’m the same as he.” Lestriv looked at him sharply. “I mean, I’m the same species,” he added quietly.

She quickly looked down and up again. “We’re finished here. Lily and I need to deliver these eggs and start supper.”

Conn knew by the curt staccato of her speech that she was put off. He knew he would have to seek out his uncle’s advice as to how to mend the error.

“I’ll walk ye.”

“There’s no need, Conn. I have a few stops, but I can see the house from here.”

When she picked up her basket and straightened, he put a hand on her forearm and locked her gaze to his. “I will walk ye, Lestriv.” With that he took the basket of eggs from her in a gesture as courtly as any she could imagine.

By the slow deliberate way he insisted, Lessie knew there would be no point in arguing. She was very aware that there is nothing in creation so stubborn as a werewolf whose mind is made up. So she simply took Lily’s hand and started home. She kept her silence until she reached her porch, then turned and said goodbye without making eye contact.

Conn left Lessie and Lily at their door and headed straight for Grey’s lodge. Since becoming Lestriv’s self-appointed helper, he had practically become a resident of New Elk Mountain and, specifically, a fixture at Grey’s. Luna was fairly good-natured about it and the little girls loved having him around. Luna had made some huffy remark about even babies being attracted to Conn, but once she realized he was serious about Lessie, she supported his efforts at courtship.

Grey cautioned Conn about rushing and advised more patience.

“Humans are used to long periods of mourning the dead.”

“Why?” Conn asked as Luna passed through the room.

“Sometimes we feel guilty about surviving. Sometimes we just miss the departed terribly and have a hard time letting go.”

After Luna had passed out of earshot, Conn said, “Maybe she just does no’ like me.” The glum look that had taken the place of his typical cocky smirk looked out of place on his handsome face.

Grey barked out a laugh. “My wife tells me that all the unmated females line up for a turn with you. I’m sure Lestriv likes you. Give her time. If I lost Luna, I…” He didn’t finish the sentence, but his eyes glazed over as he trailed off, imagining what that might be like.

After a few moments, Conn said, “Aye, Uncle. Ye’re sayin’ there’s no’ room for me in her heart because ‘tis filled with a dead wolf.”

Grey focused on Conn and blinked. “Remind me never to send
you
on a diplomatic mission.”

“Aye, but, how long will it be before she’ll be ready to look my way?”

Grey shook his head. “There’s no way to know that. Females are all different.”

“I had no’ noticed that so much. I mean some have rose-colored nipples and some are pink…”

Grey cut him off with a soft laugh and another shake of his head. “Sounds like you haven’t spent much time getting to know them?”

“Getting to know them?” Conn repeated the question as if it was an alien concept. Grey simply walked away chuckling. “’Tis cruel of ye to find amusement in my misfortune,” Conn called after him.

By the time Conn had finished having supper with his uncle’s family, it was dark. He bid his goodbyes and took his time trotting home to New Scotia.

When Conn didn’t show up at Lessie’s door the next day, she began to regret having been abrupt. When he didn’t come the day after that, she began examining her feelings. If she was honest with herself, she had to admit that she liked Conn and liked having him around. But that admission wasn’t freeing. It was confusing. She was ashamed that she was responding to the attentions of another werewolf, when her own had only been gone a few weeks.

In her heart she pondered Conn’s words regarding what Jimmy would have wanted for her. She had to agree that her mate would have wanted her to be happy, whether that chance came along sooner or later. She’d loved her mate with all her heart and part of her would always belong to him. But, she asked herself, would it be possible to love again so soon?

Jimmy hadn’t just been her first love. He’d been her first everything. She’d also learned firsthand that werewolves sometimes looked at things differently. She had adjusted to the idiosyncrasies of life in wolf culture just as he had, no doubt, made compromises for her. Perhaps werewolves did mourn and move on. Perhaps she could gain some insight by talking to Luna.

She hurried through her chores and walked to the clinic with Lily after lunch. It was a relief to see that there weren’t a lot of patients waiting. Just Saraf and her little boy.

“Hello, Saraf.”

“Lessie.” She smiled. “Is everything alright with the baby?”

Thinking that her mother’s friend was talking about her, Lily said, “I’m fine. And I’m not a baby.”

Saraf exchanged a smile with Lessie. “Of course you’re not a baby, Lily. My mistake.”

Lessie’s eyes wandered to the little boy sitting on the wood bench next to Saraf. “How are you, River? You’re getting to be a big boy.”

River didn’t speak, but not because he couldn’t. Keen intelligence shone brightly from his dark eyes. He simply chose to nod his agreement that he was, indeed, big for a four-year-old.

Luna appeared at the doorway. “Come in, Saraf.” Looking over she said, “We’ll be just a few minutes, Lessie.”

Lily jumped when River yowled in the other room and looked at her mother with alarm as if to ask if whatever had just happened to River was in store for her. In another minute, River emerged happily licking a lollipop that Luna had imported for purposes of happy pediatrics.

Luna waved them in. “Come in, you two. What can I do for you?”

“We’re, um, actually not here for medical.”

“Oh?”

“More for, ah, advice.”

Luna leaned against a cabinet and put her hands in her apron pockets, smiling knowingly.

“
Hmmm.” Luna looked up at the ceiling. “There’s a certain attractive werewolf who keeps coming to my mate for advice about
you
. I wonder if there’s a coincidence.”

“Advice about me? Really?” Lessie couldn’t decide whether she wanted to sound surprised, hopeful, happy, or disinterested. Because, in fact, she was all of those things, except for the last. No one could accuse her of being blasé about Luna’s response.

Luna grinned at the interest in Lestriv’s eyes.

“Yes.” She laughed. “Grey is ready to change into wolf form and stay that way until Conn stops pestering him about what to do next.”

“Conn pesters the alpha about what to do next with me?” Lessie felt her face growing hot and knew that she must be blushing tomato red.

Lily noticed it. “What’s wrong, Mama? Are you sick?”

“No, no, not at all,” she reassured Lily while Luna reached into the jar of lollipops and withdrew a cherry distraction.

“I will tell you what I can, but I’m a paramedic. Sort of. Not a counselor.”

Glancing toward Lily, Lestriv said, “We’re going to need to talk in C-O-D-E.”

“Sure. You first.”

“I loved my mate very much.” Luna’s smile fell as she nodded, looking more concerned than amused. “And he’s only been gone for a short time. That’s why my feelings are… I don’t know how you keep track of all these potions and things.” She waved at the cabinets and shelves. “It’s so
confusing
.”

Lily’s inquisitive eyes followed her mother’s gesture as her attention was drawn to all the various herbs, ointments, concoctions, and remedies.

Luna glanced toward the shelves. “Perhaps it’s not actually as confusing as it seems. You know that werewolves are a fun-loving bunch who live life to the fullest. When they lose someone, they pour themselves into grieving and then go on. There are no rules or judgments about how or when they go on.

“Did you know that Grey lost someone? His mate, I mean?”

Lestriv’s head canted to the side. “No. I didn’t.”

“A long time ago.” Luna smiled. “He has grandchildren.” Lessie tried to imagine that. As a human, the concept was strange because Stalkson Grey seemed far too young and vigorous to be a grandfather. “It was a long time in between his loss and our meeting, but I’d like to think that if it had been a short time, the outcome would have been the same.” She lifted one shoulder in a pretty shrug. “When it’s right, it’s right.”

Lessie gave her confidante a warm smile. “You’re wrong, Luna. You
are
a counselor and you’ve helped very much. Thank you.”

“Anytime.”

Lessie turned back at the doorway and whispered, “What was wrong with River?”

Luna laughed and held up a dried red bean with a pair of tweezers. “Better in the pot than in the ear I always say.”

When Lessie arrived back at her little cabin, Conn was waiting on the porch. She was so relieved to see him, after three days away, that she barely stopped herself from rushing forward. She’d feared that she’d left him with the impression that she had no interest in him as a helper or as a male.

“Conn.” She looked happy to see him and sounded a little breathless, but Conn was afraid he was falling victim to seeing and hearing what he wanted to see and hear. “I was afraid that I’d scared you away.”

His brows drew together. He looked intense, then confused, then incredulous. “Scared me away?” After a couple of seconds he laughed out loud. “What do you imagine you might do to scare me? Much less scare me away?”