Wolf Ways (The Madison Wolves Book 9) (32 page)

“You seem calmer today.”

“I over-reacted yesterday. I’m sorry, Alpha.”

“Your fear wasn’t justified, but it was, perhaps, understandable. I wouldn’t have pressed charges, but it would be a bad precedent. Do you understand?”

I wasn’t exactly pleased about any of this. While I appreciated the apartment I was living in, and I continued to be in awe at all of them, I thought giving up my freedom to their whims was a heavy price. But I didn’t want to pick a fight over this. I would complete my sentence and then do what I could to fade into obscurity. If I weren’t living on the compound, eventually Michaela would set her focus elsewhere.

So I avoided her question. “Portia has been very kind. I don’t promise to respond well if I feel I’m being abused.”

She frowned. “I don’t like hearing that, but it’s honest, and to be fair, I’ve said the same thing in the past. As best you can, if you feel you’re being taken advantage of, respond as calmly as you can and find a chance to talk to me. But I expect you to accept my decision.”

“Yes, Alpha,” I said.

She gestured to the back of my hand. “What room is that color?”

I looked at it. “Monique’s.”

“All right. I want to talk about two things. First, I want to know the real reason you’re being so quiet at meals. I do not buy this line of, ‘I’ll say something when I have an opinion’.”

“Haven’t we had enough stress for a few days?” I asked. “Do we really need to talk about that?”

She studied me for a moment. “Let me ask a different question, and I expect an honest answer. Do you consider us friends?”

I thought about it before answering. “I don’t think there’s a simple answer to that.”

“Why not?”

“Because first and foremost, you’re the alpha. And when I treated you and Lara as friends, I was punished for it.”

She sighed. “We talked about that.”

“Tell me you weren’t putting me in my place, Alpha.”

“I wasn’t,” she replied instantly.

“Oh? You pulled rank on me. Is that what friends do? In fact, you pull rank every time you want me to attend one of your events. You even pulled rank when playing matchmaker, ordering Elisabeth to invite me on a date, and ordering me to accept.”

“Elisabeth didn’t invite you because I ordered you to. She doesn’t do a single thing that I order.”

“That’s not what I’ve seen. It sure looked like you were the one in charge yesterday. And you were the one in charge the last time I was in that room, too. And speaking of that, if you don’t want me to have a complete panic attack, maybe having me hauled to that room is a poor idea. I don’t have fond memories of it.”

This time, it was her turn to look away. Then she looked back. “If I had asked you to give me extra help with our field trips, and assured you it was okay to turn me down, what would you have done?”

“I would have helped,” I said. “But that would have been a request from one friend of another, not an alpha chastising a pack member. Surely you see the difference.”

“Yes, I see the difference. Are you willing to believe I’ve done the things I’ve done with your best interests in mind?”

“Including my little trial yesterday?”

“Well, not entirely on that one, but I think I’ve made sure it’s not as onerous as it could be. I’m not, for instance, allowing Rory to order you about the way Lara did to me.”

“Excuse me?”

“Long story. Trust me. Portia is a great deal easier to deal with than Rory is. Power goes to his head.”

“Begging your pardon, Alpha, but power seems to have gone a little to yours as well. If we’re speaking plainly.”

I probably shouldn’t have said it. It was the sort of comment that had gotten me into trouble with her once already. But instead of lashing out, she nodded.

“You’re right. You’re absolutely right, Zoe. I can’t expect you to see me as a friend if I treat you as an underling.”

“But I am an underling, Michaela. I haven’t said you were wrong. I only tried to point out that you’re acting as the alpha, not as a friend.”

“Yes, well, I was trying to act as a friend. I make mistakes just like everyone else.”

It didn’t sound like an apology, and I didn’t know why I had to pay the price for her mistakes.

She leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes. “You didn’t answer my question. Are you willing to believe I’ve had your best interests in mind?”

“I don’t know what interests you have in mind, Alpha,” I said. I looked away. She was dragging me into a conversation I didn’t want to have. And actually, I didn’t believe my best interests were at all a factor in her choices.

“You shut up,” she said. “Again. Why?”

I didn’t answer her, and she huffed displeasure. “I require an answer, Zoe.”

At that I turned to her, my eyes flashing a moment of annoyance before I calmed my features. “Friends don’t demand answers,” I said. “That’s the act of someone in a position of authority.”

“I am Fox,” she said with a brief smile. “I am capable of being many things at once.”

“I am human,” I replied, “and I have a very difficult time understanding when I am talking to someone who claims to be my friend, and when I am talking to someone who has the power to order me to speak, and then who can order me punished if she doesn’t like what I say or how I say it. Eleven days for treating you and Lara like friends, Michaela. Another three days for defending myself from unfair accusations. Three more days for avoiding all of you. And six for the crime of being afraid.”

I sighed. It was far more than I had intended to say.

“You’re mad about the sentence.”

“I do not deserve the way I have been treated. But I was only trying to point out why it doesn’t feel like I’m sitting here with a friend. I’m sitting here with the pack alpha. Treating you like a friend has not gone well for me.”

She frowned, and then her features turned to even greater annoyance. I kept my mouth closed and turned away again.

“All right,” she said finally. “I don’t think the uncertainty is your fault. I never sought for this position, for authority over anyone else. That’s not the nature of a fox. We don’t covet power.”

“You wield it well,” I inserted.

“Thank you,” she replied. “It’s been a learning experience primarily born from knowing what I want and being willing to push people around to get it. But that’s not the same thing as wanting the power to push people around.”

“You just know what you want.”

“Right.” She paused, and I glanced at her. “I want another chance.”

“I already gave you two.”

“I want a third. And if I grow heavy handed again, I want you to tell me.”

“Oh, I don’t think so.”

“I don’t make promises I don’t keep,” she said. “I promise I won’t punish you for telling me if I’m being heavy handed. I won’t ask you to promise, but if I am heavy handed, please tell me.”

“I’ll think about it,” I said.

“I release you from your obligation to Lara and me for that wager. I would like you to pay Portia though, as a sort of thank you for watching over you.”

“I pay my debts, Alpha.”

“I know you do. I still release you of that obligation.”

I nodded. “Thank you.”

“Did you have more you wanted to say on this topic?”

“No. I didn’t want to talk about this in the first place.”

She smiled. “I’m not sure that’s entirely true, but I understand. So. My friend…”

She paused, and I nodded. “Your friend,” I agreed. I didn’t really believe it, but I wasn’t willing to fight with her. Her smile grew.

“I would like to ask a favor,” she said. “I could use your help.”

“I owe you pack service, anyway.”

“I was hoping you would become a permanent assistant, and I hold more outings than your service would call for. I’d pay you, but we’re out of money in the budget, and I don’t want to ask the council for more money. But at least we would cover your expenses, and maybe that’s worth something.”

I thought about it. I actually had enjoyed helping her with her classes, and it gave me opportunities I couldn’t afford myself. I nodded. “You don’t have to pay me,” I said. “Do you mind if I talk about GreEN?”

“No, I don’t, and I don’t mind if you find opportunity for nature photos. In fact, I encourage it. How would you feel about teaching a class on nature photography? I bet I could get the council to pay for that.”

“You want me to train my competition? I bet wolves could get really good photos. They can get places I can’t. Hell, they can take photos of each other and pass them off as wild wolf photos. They could get the best wolf photos on the planet.”

I could tell she wasn’t sure if I was teasing.

“They wouldn’t dare. Do you know how much trouble they’d be in?”

I smiled. “I’m teasing. Mostly. I wouldn’t suppose you would pose for fox photos?”

“No, I will not,” she said, but she smiled. “About the class?”

“Are you talking an hour class during the field trip, or a real class?”

“A real class. Maybe two classes a week for a term, plus time during outings.”

I didn’t want to get sucked into her plans. My entire plan was to fade into obscurity, and being under Michaela’s thumb would make that more difficult.

“I’m not qualified to teach formally,” I said slowly.

“You’re a natural educator,” she replied. “You would be perfect.”

“It’s an hour round trip to teach a one-hour class,” I observed. Maybe I could make it took expensive for her budget. “And they would need proper equipment.”

“We would make it worth your trouble,” she assured me. “How proper of equipment?”

Inwardly I sighed. “Digital SLR for sure. Lens choice would be based on what you want them to learn to photograph. If you want close up work like flowers and insects, that means a macro lens and maybe a small tripod. If you want them to photograph wild animals, that means a telephoto lens. My best telephoto lens cost me sixteen hundred dollars, although the one I really want is nearly six grand. They wouldn’t need that much, but you get what you pay for.”

“I would want a comprehensive course. Can you do a proposal? Explain what you would teach and what equipment you would recommend, maybe as a minimum, desired, and premium.”

“These kids can come up with a thousand dollars, maybe fifteen hundred worth of photo equipment?”

“Most of them. Not all the kids will be interested.

“Do you want me to recommend professional level equipment?”

“I think you should explain what you have and why you picked it, and what you would buy if money weren’t an object. Then make recommendations that make sense.”

“All right. I can do that.”

“When can you get it to me?”

“When do you want it?”

“First draft for us to discuss before your sentence is over? Can you do that?”

“Are you going to judge the proposal based on a first draft?”

“No, I already know I want to do this. I don’t want you to spend too much time on it. I want to see what you produce and then guide you towards the final proposal.”

“Then yes, I can have it done in that timeframe, perhaps sooner. I don’t know how hard Portia intends to work me, but I presume I’ll have time. It might be a little rough.”

“Rough is fine. Can you do a very introductory, informal class next weekend with whatever equipment the kids have? That might mean cell phones.”

“Cell phones have very good cameras,” I said. “Yes. I can talk about lighting and composition, and then we can take a walk and see what they find interesting.”

“Good. We leave Thursday. If you have photos to ship, plan accordingly.”

Then she smiled. “Lara’s going to have words for me.”

“Oh?”

“Every time she turns around, I’m doing something new with the school.” She paused. “I want an email from you before you go to bed tonight. Send me the list of lenses I might want for my camera with an explanation of why.”

“You’re going to attend my class?”

“I am,” she said with a smile.

I sighed. “There goes my best customer.”

She laughed. “Naw. You’ll always be better than I am. I’m pulled in forty-seven different directions. But I want to know enough to talk intelligently to you about it, and I think I want to go on some of your photo outings.”

We smiled at each other for a moment or two before she said, “That’s all I had. We’ll coordinate a little more next week. Did you have anything else?”

I thought about it then nodded. “You don’t have to answer this, but in your opinion, was I wrong to break up with Elisabeth.”

She frowned and shifted in her seat, then stilled. “You know, I wish I could say yes, you were wrong. But no. She seemed quite taken with you, and I think she was. But she’s conflicted about what she wants.”

“Portia said that about Eric.”

“Oh?”

“He wants a strong wolf who will let him be dominant.”

Michaela smiled. “I suppose so. Elisabeth wants someone very feminine who can run with her. According to Lara, she used to date guys, but when she became head enforcer, something changed. I think she’s still figuring things out. Maybe if she’d dated a few more humans — or a few more anyones — she would have had better perspective.”