and she hasn't mastered breastfeeding, or breast pumping, or satisfying her baby or herself. She dislikes breastfeeding and she doesn't want to do it, but she feels guilty, bottomlessly guilty, at the thought of not nursing. She is not allowed to say how she feels. There are neuropeptides in milk, after all, and immune cells, and lactoferrin, and how could a mother ask her child to forgo the perfect food, the better part of herself? Maternal guilt is impossible to assuage. A female primatologist told me she blamed herself for her child's allergies, because she only breastfed the child for six months.
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''The act of suckling a child, like a sexual act, may be tense, physically painful, charged with cultural feelings of inadequacy and guilt," wrote Adrienne Rich. "Or, like a sexual act, it can be a physically delicious, elementally soothing experience, filled with a tender sensuality."
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Breastfeeding your baby is natural, yet women have long done otherwise, and sometimes it is hard to say whether they chose not to breastfeed or the choice was forced upon them. Wet-nursing is an ancient profession, and among the few open exclusively to women. Wet nurses were so common at certain times of history that they were subject to competition and had to advertise their services. In Renaissance Florence, groups of wet nurses gathered at markets and festivals and sang lacto-jingles: "Always when the baby cries/We feel our milk returning/Acting with energy and speed,/We do our duty." Expectant parents consulted how-to books on the traits to seek in a wet nurse. "The ideal wet nurse should be amiable, cheerful, lively and good-humored, with strong nerves; not fretful, peevish, quarrelsome, sad or timorous, and free from passions and worries," according to one treatise from sixteenth-century England. "Finally, a potential wet nurse must like children." Though for much of history only the wealthy could afford to hire wet nurses, as always the habits of the upper classes trickled down to the lower, and by the seventeenth century half or more of all women were sending their babies to other nipples for nourishment. High-priced wet nurses shipped their own babies off to cheaper wet nurses, to preserve their personal milk supply for professional use. In 1780, according to Marilyn Yalom, as few as 10 percent of all Parisian babies were nursed in their own homes.
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Nor was wet-nursing the only alternative to maternal breastfeeding. We think of infant formula as a relatively new invention, another canker
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