Women and War (38 page)

‘Please, Richard!' she begged. ‘I know you're working but I never seem to see you these days.'

The urgency of her tone seemed to get through to him. He put down his pen, straightening up and looking at her anxiously. ‘What is it?'

‘I – I don't know how to tell you.'

Oh my God, he thought. Aloud he said: ‘ You're pregnant.'

‘I think so. I've missed a period. And I never miss periods. I'm very regular.'

He picked up his pen again, scribbling calculations on the edge of his blotter. ‘Let me see, when was it we …? It's too early yet to be sure.'

‘Oh, for goodness'sake, stop being a doctor!' she snapped. ‘It's my body, isn't it? I ought to know, shouldn't I?'

‘Not necessarily. You could be late for all kinds of reasons.'

‘Oh, I see! So you're trying to get out of it now, are you? Here am I, worried sick, and you talk about ‘‘all kinds of reasons.'' I might have known you didn't mean what you said about marrying me. Well, all right. I'll have the baby alone. But I shall make certain everyone knows who the father is! And …'

‘Calm down, Tara, for goodness' sake!' He got up, crossing the room to her and taking her by the shoulders. ‘I said I'd marry you and I meant it. I'm only saying it's far too early yet to be sure if you're pregnant or not.'

She shook free. ‘Oh yes, and by the time we wait to be sure, anything could happen. You could be posted abroad – I could be sent to AAMWS Training Camp – anything. At the very least everyone will be able to do sums and know that we – that I – was, well, you know, before we were married …'

The tired lines of his face softened.

‘Oh Tara.' He turned away, paced to the window and back, his fingertips pressed to his lips, eyes distant and thoughtful. Tara waited, shoulders drooping, eyes downcast, and felt as if her chest would compress and collapse beneath the weight of her own breath. When she could bear it no longer she sobbed softly.

‘I'm sorry. Oh Richard, I'm sorry. But I'm just so worried …'

‘I know.' He dug his hands deep into the pockets of his medical coat, leaning back against his desk. Then he sighed and raised his eyes to hers. ‘ Don't worry any more, Tara. I'll fix everything up.'

He missed the quick gleam of fear. ‘You mean …?'

‘I mean I'll arrange for a special licence. I don't know if we can be married here or if we have to go into one of the towns. I'll find out.'

‘Oh yes!' The fear was gone now, replaced by something quite different. ‘I really am sorry, Richard.'

‘You are not the one who should be sorry.'

She ran to him, burying her face in his chest.

‘It will be all right, you'll see. All the things that worry you about committing yourself in wartime – none of them will happen. We'll be happy, Richard, really happy, I know we will.'

‘Yes.' He touched her forehead lightly with his lips. ‘Now, I have a lot of work to get through, Tara.'

‘You're not angry?'

‘Of course I'm not angry.' He kissed her lips as lightly as he had her forehead. ‘Keep smiling. It doesn't suit you to look so glum.'

She nodded. ‘I'm all right now. Everything is all right now.'

As she left she looked back. He smiled briefly but by the time she closed the door the smile had gone. Richard went back around his desk and sat down but the stack of notes ceased to hold his attention now. There was a new problem to add to those of the married man with VD and the alcoholic who had finally decided to admit to his weakness.

This time it was his own.

Tara's feet flew her back across the camp to her own hut. At this time of day it was empty – all the girls she shared with were at work, none sleeping off a spell of night duty, thank goodness. She let herself in, closed the door and leaned against it, sighing with relief. She had done it. He had accepted her word for it. They were going to be married.

Oh thank you, Holy Mary, thank you! she whispered and realized she was trembling from head to toe. Had ever anything been as important to her as this? She couldn't remember that it had been, not even when she had been fighting so desperately for a job in the clubs of Sydney. Then, it had always been at the back of her mind that there were other clubs, other places, other cities the world over. But there was only one Richard. She had gambled everything on this one throw – the prospect if she had lost just did not bear thinking about. But she had not lost. She had won. Richard's strong sense of responsibility had carried the day. He was going to marry her …

If nothing went wrong now.

Oh, don't let it take too long for him to arrange the wedding! Tara prayed. If it takes too long he might come the heavy doctor again and discover there really is no reason for him to rush into marrying me – well, no reason that he would count good enough, anyway.

She walked the length of the hut to her bed and lay down, glad to remove the responsibility of balance from her shaking legs.

Oh, the nights she had lain awake here since that day at Reg and Bluey's farm, praying that she really would be pregnant and there would be no need to deceive. There were enough girls, goodness only knew, who had ‘got into trouble' with just one deviation from the straight and narrow. Why shouldn't it happen to her? But it did not happen. The day before her period was due the warning niggles began deep in her stomach and there it was, not only on time, but – insult to injury – early! Tara had leaned against the wall of the toilet tent with the frogs croaking and multiplying in the quagmire beside her and wept.

That was it, then. She wouldn't get another chance – Richard would make sure of that. He would make quite certain they did not get into a situation where a repeat performance of the ecstatic ten minutes in the stable was possible – he had even been avoiding her since it happened, she suspected. Oh, the hospital had been very busy it was true, but then it always was and he had managed to find time to see her before.

Not only that, she sensed a reserve about him when she was with him and it was a barrier she was unable to break through, however hard she tried. It was as if having been taken unawares once and overcome by emotions he had been confident he could control, he no longer trusted himself under any but the most unpromising circumstances. His attitude not only dismayed but infuriated Tara. If this was what being a gentleman entailed, then to hell with it!

But even as she poured mental scorn on his attitude she knew her own weakness – it was because Richard was as he was that she loved him; his total variance to anyone she had ever known before was the very thing which attracted her.

So – that was it. Or was it? When the plan had suggested itself to her it had momentarily shocked even her. She was not pregnant, but if she could make him believe that she was … The sense of shock subsided, leaving her mind very clear and sharply alert like a live wire brought to humming activity by a surge of electricity. She turned the idea over, looking carefully at each facet. It was possible. She could do it. And afterwards she could explain it all away as a mistake – or worse.

Just so long as he did not say ‘wait and see'. If he did it would not only be the end of her plan, it would also mean he did not really care. She would have lost him. Her stomach contracted at the thought.

But he had not said it. Well, not absolutely. It was all right. They were going to be married.

I can make him happy, I know I can, Tara thought. I love him so much. If he only loves me half as much we shall be all right.

The door of the hut opened and Kate came in.

‘Tara! What are you doing here? Are you okay?' she asked.

‘Sure, I'm fine,' Tara said, wondering whether she should tell Kate the news here and now, then deciding against it. Better to wait until Richard had made some plans and everything was a little more definite. They would know, all of them, soon enough. And how surprised they would be!

Colonel Adamson straightened himself to an upright position in his chair, easing his damp shirt away from his sweating back with fingers that were beginning to turn yellow from tobacco stains. Before the war he had almost managed to give up smoking, now, dammit, the strain of duty in the tropical conditions of the Northern Territory had undone all the work his will power had done for him. Cursing himself he reached for the packet lying open on the desk, took one and lit it before remembering Richard, sitting opposite him.

‘Sorry, Allingham – do you want one?' Richard shook his head and Colonel Adamson felt a stirring of bad-tempered dislike. Bloody self-righteous young sod! ‘Now what was it you were saying? You have a request to make? Well, no need to be so formal. Just spit it out.'

‘Very well, sir.' Richard hesitated only briefly. ‘I want to get married.'

The words caught the Colonel at the moment of inhaling; he spluttered slightly and the smoke came out in a cloud temporarily obscuring his vision.

‘Married. Married, eh! Well, well, you do surprise me, Allingham. I didn't realize you had a serious young lady. Someone at home in Melbourne, is it?'

‘No, sir. She will need your permission to marry too. It's Tara. Tara Kelly.'

‘Good God.' The words were out before he could stop them; he looked at Richard with a mixture of admiration and disbelief. ‘I knew you'd been seeing her, of course, but I never dreamed … Good God!'

Richard's face showed no hint of emotion. ‘As we are both on active service, sir, I realize we shall need not only your permission and Matron's, but also that of the General Officer Commanding. But naturally I am speaking to you first before putting it in writing.'

‘I see.'

‘The thing is, sir, we would like to make it as soon as possible.'

‘Yes. I see.' The first numbness of the shock was passing a little; Colonal Adamson's eyes narrowed shrewdly. ‘Everything is all right and above board, is it?' he asked and thought he saw a slight shadow pass over Richard's handsome features, but it was only momentary.

‘Of course.'

‘Yes. Well. It's a good thing we have the church here at the hospital then, isn't it? A fine job that church. I must say I am proud of it.'

Since 138 AGH had moved to the Adelaide River some of the men had used their spare time erecting a building of bamboo which could be used as a church by all the denominations on the site, and the sisters had put their talents to making kneelers, altar cloths and screens.

‘Yes, we should like to be married in the hospital church,' Richard said.

‘Hmm.' Adamson drew on his cigarette, his fingers trembling slightly. That little minx! he was thinking. No wonder she turned down the offer of working for me – she had other fish to fry and her sights set on something a little more permanent! ‘ Well,' he said aloud, ‘ you will have no objection from me, of course. And I don't foresee any stumbling blocks being placed in your way by higher authority, either. There is just one small problem, though. You'll be looking for some leave, no doubt, to have a honeymoon.'

Again, he saw that small flickering shadow and wondered about it.

‘Well, yes – though of course we quite understand …'

‘The point, Allingham, is this. I've received another piece of news today and under the circumstances I'll tell you about it, though I'll be grateful if you will keep it under your bonnet for the moment. We are on the move again.'

‘We are?'

‘Yes. 138 is being posted to Queensland. There is a lot of activity there. As you know the war in New Guinea has hotted up considerably and quite apart from all the units in the area, it's a first staging post for wounded men being brought back from the field hospitals across the water. I can't see that you could be granted leave until we've settled in there. All hands will be needed to help make the move go as efficiently as possible.'

‘And when do you expect the move to be?' Richard asked.

‘More or less immediately after Christmas.' He stubbed out his cigarette, looking at Richard steadily. ‘I would say this, however, I expect we can work something out so that you and Tara,' his tongue slid smoothly over her name, ‘so that you and Tara could have a day or two at least away somewhere in the vicinity.'

‘That's very kind of you, sir,' Richard said.

‘Right.' The CO moved abruptly. ‘ I expect when this gets out there will be great excitement in the camp.' He rose and when Richard followed suit he extended his hand. ‘All that remains is for me to offer you my congratulations and wish you well. You are a lucky man, Allingham.'

‘Thank you, sir.'

When Richard had left the CO sat staring into space for a few minutes.

Yes, you are a lucky man, he repeated softly. Though marrying her – I'm not so sure about that …

The perspiration began to trickle down his back again and the feel of it annoyed him even more than usual. Damn bloody place. He'd be glad to get to Queensland – though by all accounts that was just as bad.

Colonel Adamson snorted irritably and stretched out his hand for another cigarette.

‘For heaven's sake, Tara, will you keep still for just a minute!' Kate, on her knees in the middle of the sisters' dormitory block, spoke in half-amusement, half-exasperation, through a mouthful of pins.

‘Sorry – I'm just trying to see what I look like, that's all!' Tara, standing on a chair at her elbow, pulled a demure face and froze, still as a statue. ‘How's that – better?'

‘Uh-huh!' Kate grunted. She worked quietly for a moment, then sat back on her heels, taking the remaining pins out of her mouth and dropping them into the lozenge tin beside her. ‘You can get down and have a look at yourself now – just as long as you're careful. But if you burst a seam or pull that hem down again, I'll cheerfully murder you!'

June Day got up from the bed where she had been sitting to watch proceedings, took Tara's hand and helped her down from the chair.