Woodcutter Werebear (Saw Bears Book 2) (5 page)

Brooke stood on her tiptoes and stared out the peephole in the front door. “Yep, you definitely don’t want to watch this.”

An inhuman bellow of pain and another of rage rattled the trailer, and Skyler wrapped her arms around her stomach as if it would keep her insides intact. She was breaking apart again, and her urge to change made her gasp in pain.

“Skyler? You look ill. Oh, shit. You can’t Change in here. Trailers are the worst kind of place for that. Here, let me get you a drink of water. Why don’t you sit down on the couch and take some deep breaths.”

Skyler did as Brooke suggested and curled up in a little ball, determined to stay in her human skin. She didn’t change if she didn’t have to. Not anymore. Not after the last time she’d done it with Roger.

“Here,” Brooke said, handing her a glass.

Skyler sat up and drank thirstily. The sounds of the raging bear fight were softer now. Perhaps Tagan and Kellen had dragged the battle off into the woods that surrounded the trailer park. Or maybe one of them was dying.

A wave of pain doubled her over.

“No, no, no, listen,” Brooke crooned. “Kellen is fine. He’ll come back a little bruised up, but he’ll start healing immediately. You’ll see. Tagan and Kellen grew up together. Tagan’s mom found Kellen when he was a cub, took him in before a foster family could figure out what he was. My mate wouldn’t ever really hurt yours, Skyler. He’s a new alpha and needs to be swift with punishment if one of his bears puts his crew in danger. That’s all.”

“Tagan’s new?” Skyler asked, set on carrying on a conversation that would distract her from the horrible imaginings of the battle going through her head right now.

“Yeah, he challenged the last alpha, Jed, a couple of months back. He…well, Jed ordered whoever turned me into a bear would win me. A shifter named Connor tried, and when Tagan moved to protect me, Jed tried to kill me.”

“You’re newly Turned?” The ache in her middle was easing as her curiosity took hold.

“Yeah. I didn’t take it well,” Brooke said, huffing a laugh. “I went back to my home in the city. I was angry at Tagan for putting a bear in me. I was angry with Connor and Jed and already dealing with my own issues from before, so it was all too much. I wanted to learn how to control my animal by myself without them coddling me. Are you a bear, too?”

Skyler clammed up because she was definitely not ready to talk about that part of her life with Brooke. Now that she knew she wasn’t competition for Kellen’s affection, Skyler wanted the woman to like her. She didn’t know why her approval meant so much, but Kellen said Brooke was the only female around here, and it had been a long time since she’d had a girlfriend. Roger had cut off any chance she had at making friends in Saratoga, leaving her lonely. But Roger wasn’t here, and what he didn’t know wouldn’t get her punished.

Brooke opened her mouth, as if she were about to ask what kind of animal hid inside of Skyler, but then clamped her mouth shut. Instead, she asked, “Do your people have alphas?”

“No, we have councils for each side of the war. They keep the peace between the people on each side and make wartime decisions. Then come the warriors. Then come the men who do nothing for our kind. Then the children, and below everyone come the females. The breeders. I’m no princess like Tagan said. I’m nothing at all.”

“Bullshit. Your people sound like assholes.”

“You said Kellen was my mate.” Skyler gripped the cool glass in her hands and dropped her gaze in shame. “It felt nice to let you think that, but it’s not true. He’s not mine. I belong to Roger.”

“You belong to yourself. No man owns you, Skyler. Take it from me, who spent a hell of a lot of time as a human. This,” she said, pushing Skyler’s hair away from her bruises, “is abuse.”

“Not to my people. The men call it ‘breaking a willful mate.’” She snorted at how dumb that seemed now. She’d been raised to accept it, but here, away from it all, it just sounded like more manipulation. “I probably seem pathetic to you.”

Brooke knelt in front of her and looked her square in the eye. “No. Any man who did this to your face is pathetic. Was this the only time he was rough?”

Ashamed, Skyler shook her head. “It was the worst, though. Please don’t tell Kellen. His bear already seems hard to manage.”

Brooke frowned at the door. “He isn’t, usually. You affect him. Usually Kellen is the level-headed one of the crew. Come on. I want to show you something.”

Brooke pulled her upward until she was steady on her feet, then tugged her by the hand until they reached a second bedroom Skyler hadn’t had the time to explore yet. In it was an easel with a large, messy painting of a man’s face. A pile of similar pictures, built up with black and gray acrylics, sat in the corner. Brooke spread them out until they lined the floor.

Skyler didn’t know much about art, but she could almost feel the pain coming off the pages. In one picture, the man was smiling, but his grin was soulless and didn’t reach his hard, cold eyes. In another, the corners of his lips were turned down as he stared out with disdain. He looked terrifying.

“You said I probably thought you were pathetic,” Brooke said, as soft as a breath. “This man hurt me. He broke me.”

Skyler jerked her head up and stared at Brooke. “How?” She seemed so strong and sure of herself. How could anyone have hurt her?

“He attacked me in a stairwell in the city where I used to live. He hit me, bruised up my face like yours is now. Then he marked me here.” She ran a fingertip down a long, healed pink gash across her neck. “He wanted me to always remember how helpless I’d been. And for a while, every time I looked in the mirror, I did feel helpless. But I wasn’t, and neither are you.”

“When Kellen took me, I was scared,” she admitted low. “But deep down, I was glad someone was trying to save me. I’ve hated that I couldn’t save myself.”

Brooke’s light brown eyebrows winged up. “This is where the winds of change turn to a fucking hurricane if you let them, Skyler. You don’t belong with a man who would hurt you. And if that is how your people operate, by breaking women, sounds to me like you need to find yourself new people.”

“They’ll banish me if I leave Roger.”

“Banishment is bad?”

“The worst. I’ll be disgraced all my remaining life, which won’t be long, because my enemies will kill me the second they find out I’m no longer protected by my council.”

Brooke canted her head and gave her a significant look. “Not if you learn to fight back, and not if you find someone strong enough to protect you.”

Skyler shook her head in ready denial. “I couldn’t ask Kellen to do that. He’s…he’s better than all of this. He’s special. I don’t want to put him in danger, and if he took me in, I’d put him right in the crosshairs of my people. And he said it himself. He doesn’t want a mate. He only took me because he’s good, down to his bones good, and can’t stand the thought of someone being hurt like that.”

“Mm.” Brooke grunted noncommittally. “Maybe. Have you met all the boys yet?”

“Yeah, they all showed up in my room while I was crying my eyeballs out.”

Brooke laughed and nodded. “Yep, they’ll do that. They get all touchy feely, too, if you’re upset, so be prepared for that. They aren’t trying to be inappropriate. It just settles their animals if they know for sure that you’re all right.”

“Well, that explains it then. My people aren’t like that,” Skyler explained. “Touch isn’t important to them.”

“Is it important to you?”

“I watch people kissing and holding hands in public, and it makes me feel funny.”

“Funny how?”

“Like, I think I’d enjoy that. Growing up, I was always taught not to feel anything, so touch was a no-no.”

“Are parents allowed to hug their children?”

“My mom did when I was little. She was what my father called
a willful mate
, though, so she changed as I got older. She stopped smiling and singing when she cooked. I think she wanted to feel, and I never saw my dad actually hurt her, but something was happening to make her shut down. And when I was ten, I was sent off to be raised with the other breeders. There was definitely no hugging there.” She cringed at the memories of the cold room she’d shared with the other seven girls her age and the harsh way they had been raised to respect male authority.

Now that she saw everything in such a different light, perhaps banishment wasn’t the worst thing that could happen to her. Perhaps living a long, empty life void of affection was worse.

That realization still didn’t justify putting Kellen’s life in danger.

The front door banged open so hard it slammed against the wall. She rushed into the other room in time to see Kellen catch the door on the rebound. He’d rustled up some jeans somewhere, but a dark spot was spreading across his thigh, and he limped heavily into the living room. Cuts crisscrossed his chest, but none of them were deep, and most of them were already half-healed.

“Tagan?” Brooke asked.

Kellen’s voice was hoarse when he said, “He’s at your place. Still riled up, though, so be easy with him.”

Brooke jogged out of the trailer, leaving Skyler alone with Kellen, who was currently bleeding onto the laminate flooring.

“I don’t know why I’m here,” he said, frowning. “I meant to go to my trailer.”

“Come on,” she rasped out, fighting the thick dominance that laced the air. “I’ll clean you up.”

“You don’t have to—”

“I want to.”

Time crept away from them as he stared at her long and hard. “Okay.”

She led him to the bathroom, careful not to hold his hand like she wanted to do. He was still riled up, too. The silver in his eyes told her the human part of Kellen wasn’t completely in control yet. And he smelled like animal. Fur, pine, and earth mixed to make a heady scent in the air. Part of her wanted to open a window to relieve some of the pressure from her chest, but a bigger piece of her wanted to revel in the smell of him. It was alluring and unfurled something deep within her. His scent, masculine and feral, called to her.

“You smell aroused,” he said in a gruff voice. He settled on the side of the bathtub, his injured leg stretched out in front of him.

“You could’ve kept that little gem to yourself,” she muttered.

“Why? It’s sexy, and I like it. Why shouldn’t I observe and compliment.”

“Oh. I didn’t know it was a compliment.”

“You smell good, and I bet you taste good, too.”

God, she hoped he was talking about her lips or skin, but from the hungry way his eyes traveled down her thighs, he meant exactly what he said. His forward way of speaking was jarring.

“My bear always wants sex after a fight. It isn’t your place to satisfy that need, though, so I can stop talking about it. You look uncomfortable.”

“No.” She unbuttoned the snap on his jeans and sighed. “It’s all right. I like that you are blatantly honest. You’re a bit of an over-sharer, but it’s better than hiding your feelings all the time. Just say what you want, and if you cross a line, I’ll tell you. I don’t want you to change for me.”

Kellen tilted his chin, and the fire in his eyes dimmed. Uncertainly, he said, “You don’t want to change me?”

“No. Why would I? You’re…” She smiled at the memory of his first compliment to her today. She repeated it in a soft whisper. “You’re perfect.”

Kellen snorted, then hissed air through his teeth as she tugged the waist of his jeans downward.

“Help me, man. I can’t clean the injury from behind your pants.”

“Oh.” He frowned, as if he’d just remembered the growing blood puddle across his quad. Standing, he pulled the denim material away from his skin and slowly pressed his pants down, exposing the extent of the wound.

Skyler bit her lip and thanked her lucky stars she wasn’t afraid of blood. Four long gashes ran across the top of his leg, and the bottom one was a bit of a gusher. Kellen rearranged his face to a stoic expression and gripped the edges of the bathtub as he sat down. “If you hand me a towel, I’ll get the bleeding stopped.”

She turned to a pair of faded, white cabinets above a washer and dryer against the bathroom wall and found an old, threadbare black towel. But when Kellen reached for it, she swatted his hand away and pressed it on the injury herself. “How long does it take you to heal?”

“With an injury like this, two days until it’s a scar.”

This rocked her back on her heels. She was a fast healer, but not like that. “Hold that there, and I’ll find something to clean it.”

His hand pressed against hers, strong and steady, as he held her transfixed with his gaze. “Thank you.”

“It’s no problem,” she said, shrugging it off. “I’ve dealt with battle wounds before.”

“No, not for that. For saying you didn’t want me to change. I’m… I know I’m different. Most people outside of the Ashe crew write me off—think there is something wrong with me. Thanks for not doing that.”

She thought of how hurt he’d looked in the grocery store parking lot when she’d called him strange, and shame burned her cheeks. “I’m sorry about what I said when I first met you.”

“Don’t. You don’t have to apologize for that. Everyone thinks that. It’s okay.” He dipped his attention to his bare feet and seemed unable to lift his gaze.