Words of Lust (17 page)

The lump in her throat was monstrous. Thankfully, Nick returned and hustled them out of the hospital.

He was slumped with exhaustion and she kept quiet as they drove back to his loft even though all she really wanted was to escape back to her own apartment and let them deal with their crisis in private. She was nearly overwhelmed with misery and it was painful to linger on the outskirts as the family rallied together.

“Come on, let’s go upstairs. You need to eat and get some rest.” He hugged her to him and she allowed herself to lean on him, to soak in his warmth. It was selfish, but he was so comforting.

“Are you feeling okay? How’s your head?”

“It’s not bad. I’ll take some aspirin when we get upstairs.”

“Sorry about before.”

“Oh, Nick, don’t worry.”

“I’ll make it up to you.”

“Forget it. You’ve got more important things to worry about. Your sister had a close call and I can see how upset everyone is.”

He let them into the loft and headed for the fridge and pulled out a beer and paced back and forth in front of the sofa covered in gore. He stared at the spot where Cara’s blood had pooled and his face was grim.

“I knew she was having a difficult pregnancy, we all did, but she made light of it. With the two kids, and Rocco gone so much these last few months, everyone tried to pitch in and help out. I guess it wasn’t enough.”

“You cannot blame yourself or anyone else for this. It’s all going to be fine. She’s okay and the baby will be too.”

“I don’t know what I would have done if anything had happened to her. I love those kids of hers, and the thought that she might have lost the baby makes me sick.”

Her heart twisted with the pain, as if it were in a vise. She wanted to stop talking about families and children. The entire Stellato family was in love with children. With Cara’s, and no doubt with the children he expected to have. A big, happy family full of children running around the house, for him to play with and protect. Her stomach lurched and she stood up and headed into the bathroom. She wasn’t sure she could control her tears if she sat there next to him.

She stayed in the bathroom long enough to compose herself and the speech she hoped would convince him to take her home. He’d given her a toothbrush and she brushed her teeth, and used cool water to dab her face. Then she returned to the living room.

He was waiting impatiently. He pounced on her as she came close and grabbed her by the arms, pulling her hard against him and kissing her with ferocity. His hold was desperate. Fear was fueling his agitated state and he needed her, needed the release. How could she refuse him? He’d comforted her, and now it was her turn, no matter how much it might pain her. She could give him what he needed, at least this one last time.

“Yes.” She clung to him and returned his kisses with equal passion.

He pulled her shirt off, ripped the shorts down her legs, and though his movements were harsh, it was nothing to equal the turmoil he was enduring.

His clothes met a similar fate as he pulled them off, buttons on his shirt flying and the zipper in his jeans torn from its mooring.

Only then did he pause to retrieve a condom. Even in this desperate, dark moment, he never wavered in his commitment to keep her safe. The gesture moved her to tears. They were both awash in the heightened emotions of pain, fear, desire and frustration.

He fell on top of her on the bed. There would be no finesse, no gentle foreplay. This would be the basic, animalistic fucking he needed to vent his anguish. His mouth ground against her and she welcomed the hard, invasive movements of his tongue and teeth. When he reached down to test her, to see if she was ready, she spread her legs for him and urged him on. He ground his rigid cock between her thighs, and the power of the sensation made her clutch his ass, pulling him hard against her, begging him to invade her cunt. There were no words, no playful teasing and no dirty book talk. It was basic human need and she let him take all that he wanted from her.

He surged inside her with a single brutal thrust. It was a quick pain, but so welcome, so powerful. Harder, and then faster he began to stroke into her. His thighs were rigid with the effort, his hands gripped her flesh. When orgasm slammed into her, faster and more intense than anything she’d yet felt with him, it swept over her again and again. She could feel his release, the jerking of his cock inside her and his guttural howl of climax echoing through the room. His face was taut, his jaw clenched, and the dark desire in his eyes spoke volumes as they stared at each other.

A moment passed, and then another, and slowly, his body lost the tension and like a veil being removed, all the sadness and anger fell away. She reached up a hand and cradled it against his cheek. It was bittersweet to think their most ferocious coupling might well be their last. Tears flowed, but the intensity of the moment explained them. She couldn’t tell him the truth about how very much she cared. What good would it do if they had no future?

For this time, however, she was with him. The intimacy was all-encompassing. His eyes flickered, and he lowered himself over her, pulling her to him, wrapping his arms and legs around her, even as he remained inside her. She held him and treasured the weight of him on her and mourned the fleeting beauty of it all. He fell asleep and his breathing grew soft.

“I love you so much, Niccolo Stellato. I wish it could be forever.” She laid a whisper-soft kiss on one rough cheek and then cried silent tears as she watched the afternoon tick away into the early evening. She let him rest until the last possible minute, treasuring the quiet intimacy. Then she wiped her face and woke him to tell him visiting hours would be starting.

Chapter Twelve

He woke up to Serafina’s gentle touch and the blare of “Born In the USA” from his cell. His mouth was dry, and his body ached as though he’d been in a fight. None of it mattered. His sister was all right and Serafina was in his arms. He grabbed his phone.

“Visiting hours, man. Haul ass. Cara’s awake. We can only see her two at a time, so the rest of us will take our turns until you and Luscious get here.”

“Yeah, Vin. I’m on my way.”

He flipped his phone closed and jumped off the bed. The sight of his ravaged clothes on the floor reminded him of the bout of rough sex. He hadn’t been one ounce of gentle. She’d let him use her hard and she’d hung on and given him the most amazing orgasm he’d ever had. The memory of her face, the way she stared into his eyes, letting him see everything in her heart; she’d welcomed him into her body and had allowed him to escape the nightmare of Cara’s labor. Looking at her now made him want to fuck her again, brand her as his, brand him on her body and her consciousness so she’d never be able to forget him. Looking down at her poor beautiful, battered body and the bruises his fingers had left on her, his marks of possession, he was bursting with the overwhelming need to tell her exactly what he was feeling. But he knew better. They didn’t have time for the first, and the second would have to wait while he seduced her mind and heart as he had seduced her body.

Instead, he touched her lips with his. “I’ll grab a quick shower. I want to get to the hospital as soon as possible. Do you want to shower with me?”

She was silent and staring at him as though trying to read his mind. Once he was certain his sister and her baby were okay, they would be having a talk, but right then he just didn’t have the focus to figure out her mysteries.

“I’m going to grab a cab and go home. This is a time for you to be with your family. I feel like I’m intruding and distracting you all.” She got to her feet, the stiffness in her movements more pronounced, and he was to blame.

“Damn, are you all right? I can’t believe I was so rough.”

“Enough. I loved it. Yes, I’m paying the price now, but I didn’t want you to stop. I would have said so if I had. You needed it. I needed it.” Her expression clouded and she turned from him and walked naked toward the bathroom. “Get me my clothes, and I’ll catch a cab. Then you can focus on your family and Cara.” Just like that she cut him off.

“You’re going to leave me now? Professor, I never would have made it without you today. You’ve been a rock. Not just for me, for everyone in my family. Cara, Mom, and don’t think I didn’t see you keep Gia and her boy toys from letting that situation blow up too.”

“Don’t be crazy. You would all have been fine. Your whole family is waiting there. Besides, I’m feeling all right and I have a ton of work to get through tonight and tomorrow.”

“Please don’t go. Just stay with me now and tonight. Come to the hospital with me. Then we can get something to eat and I’ll take you home in the morning. Besides, we need to talk.” He puzzled over the strained sadness on her face. But she finally sighed and nodded, and relief flooded him. “I know there’s stuff going on that we need to share. Thank you for staying.” He kissed her and retrieved her clothes, which were rumpled and the blouse torn, but with his jacket over them she’d at least look better than wearing his T-shirt and baggy shorts. Though it was a hell of a sexy look on her. The rode-hard-and-put-away-wet look gave him lots of ideas.

There was no fooling around in the shower, just sharing the water to save time. They made the drive in tense silence as he wondered what was bugging her. Then they arrived at the hospital and were met by the smiles of all the Stellatos. Rocco was beaming and looked relaxed and relieved, his arm around his mother, Jacintha.

“Everything good?” Nick kissed his mom and Jacintha and hugged his dad and Rocco. His parents took their turn to visit with the new mom and left the others to catch up in the waiting area.

“Cara’s tired but doing good. And Angelina’s perfect. Tiny, with all her fingers and toes, and the doctors say tests look clear.

“Angelina, huh?”

“She’s an angel and this is a miracle. What can I say?” Rocco’s eyes filled with tears, but the faces around him all reflected their love and understanding.

The group was standing in the hall when his mom and dad left Cara’s room. His mom looked like she’d aged ten years since that afternoon, but her expression was one of tired happiness.

“How’s she feeling, Mom?”

She nodded, wiped her eyes and smiled at everyone. “She’s in some pain and she’s exhausted, but she’s good. She can’t wait to see Angelina, but they’re waiting until she’s feeling better and then they’ll take her to the NICU.” She patted his arm and gave him a little push.

“Go on in and see her. I know she’s been waiting.”

He turned to head to the room, but Serafina held back. “You go on. I don’t want to tire her out. She wants to see family.”

She was damned frustrating but he wouldn’t start a scene in the middle of the hospital with his family watching, so he did as she asked and went in alone.

His grim mood worsened when he got a look at Cara. She was white as the sheets on the bed and her face was drawn with exhaustion and pain. Had it really been just two days since he’d looked down at Serafina in essentially the same condition? But she held out her hands and he grabbed hold of them.

“How are you doing, little sister?”

“Awful. But good. Thanks to you and mom and Serafina. Thank you for Angelina too. I don’t know what would have happened if I had been home alone. I’m so relieved I was with you guys.”

“Good fortune, for sure. Will I be able to go see the bambina?” He wanted to get a look at the little girl who’d made such a dramatic entrance.

“I don’t know. They’re still doing all the tests to make sure that she’s okay. The doctor said that her lungs are a teeny bit under-developed, but she thinks that my due date might have been off by a couple of weeks, so she’s not as early as we thought.”

“Excellent news.”

“How’s Mom holding up? She’s strong and all in here, but I got the impression she’s barely holding it together.”

“You know Mom. She’ll never admit it, but yeah, I think she’s going to go home and crash. Pop too. And Rocco looks like someone slugged him.”

“Oh, he’s such a big baby. But he’s seen Angelina and says she’s perfect and beautiful so we’re all good. We’re talking about him asking for a better schedule. I hated having him gone so much.”

She yawned and patted his hand and leaned back on the pillows with a bit of a grimace.

“Are you in much pain?”

“Honey, you try having them slice you open from hip to hip, through all the muscles that you use to laugh, cry, sneeze, breathe—then we’ll talk.” But she gave him a tired grin. “I’m okay.” She glanced past him to the door. “Where’s Serafina? Didn’t she come back with you?”

“She’s outside. She didn’t want to intrude.”

“Oh, for heaven’s sake, go get her. I have to say thank you.”

He gave her a quick hug. “I’ll be back to see you tomorrow, how’s that? Get your beauty sleep.”

Outside everyone was jabbering excitedly. “Only parents are allowed in until they’ve finished all the tests, but we’re going down to get a look at Angelina through the window.”

“Hey, Professor, Cara wants to say thanks.”

“That’s so silly. I didn’t do anything.”

“Don’t be modest. You were calm as could be and I couldn’t have held it together without you. Go on in and visit with her while we go down and see the baby. Nick, come on. Let the girls talk.” Mrs. Stellato nudged her.

He allowed himself to be dragged away, but he glanced back. She was standing motionless before the door to his sister’s room. What was going on? There was something serious bothering her, and he wanted to come clean about his suspicions about Boxer. Now that everything with Cara was okay, he was going to get her home, have a quiet Saturday night alone and talk.

* * *

She wished with all her might that she was anywhere else. Work, home, even being subjected to Elizabeth Parker would be preferable. It was agony being in the midst of this joyous family and listening to all of the happy chatter about the baby. Naturally she was thrilled that everything had worked out safely for Cara and her little girl, but for her, the entire situation was like being a starving woman at a feast where she wasn’t allowed to eat.

Once the family disappeared down the corridor, she stood outside the room until she worked up her nerve. She took a deep breath and pushed open the door.

“Serafina.” Cara was propped up in bed but gave a feeble wave when she entered the room. Walking stiffly, she sat down in the chair and took Cara’s hand. It was chilled, and she was pale, but her eyes glowed with happiness and she smiled, though it was weary.

“I’m so glad you came. I wanted to thank you for everything.”

“I didn’t do much.”

“You were there and you helped, and it helped Mom to have you there too. And who knows if Nick would have just freaked? You kept us all calm.”

“I’m glad, then.”

“How are you doing? Those bruises are looking worse than before.”

“I’m sure they’ll be really grotesque in a few days. Nice and yellow and green. My headache is almost gone. My shoulder is what hurts the most now. And I shuffle along like a little old lady.”

“I know how upset Nick was over what happened.”

“He’s taken good care of me.”

Cara was silent for a moment. “He cares a lot about you.”

“I know.”

“He’s told you?”

“He said he cares.”

“It’s obvious the way he looks at you, and how possessive and protective he is. You may think it’s weird because you guys just met a few weeks ago, but he’s a deep guy. He’s never had a long-term relationship before because he knows what he wants. All those other girls, the ones like Denise and a few others, I don’t think they connected with him at all. They liked the package, but the guy inside wasn’t flashy enough or wild enough for them, I guess.”

“Since I’m not flashy or wild, I guess that’s a good thing.” She smiled but it hurt. She did not want to be here having this discussion.

“Don’t get me wrong. I hope you don’t get scared off by him. He can be intense, but he’s the best there is.”

“He’s a good man. That much is very clear.”

“He deserves to have all the happiness in the world. He’s been like a second father to all of us, looking out all our lives. Beating up the bullies, helping us study. Especially us girls. Though it made dating tough when all the guys knew you had a big brother who’d pound them into the ground if they made a wrong move.” Cara fidgeted a little, and Serafina waited while she took a sip of water.

“He’s over the moon about Angelina. He’s a great uncle—you saw that at dinner the other night. But I can’t wait until he’s a father. It goes without saying that you’ll have beautiful babies, but he’s going to be an awesome dad. Though if you have a little girl, she’s in for it when—”

“Stop. Cara. Please. Just stop, okay?” She couldn’t bear it any longer.

“What’s wrong? I know you guys are going to be great together and—”

“No. We won’t be great together, and you’ve just made my case for me.” She took a shuddering breath and clenched her hands. “I can’t have children, Cara. I’ve known since I was a teenager. I’m crazy about your brother and it kills me, but it wouldn’t be fair to stay with him when you’re telling me just how much he loves kids and what a terrific father he’s going to be. How can I deprive him of that? You guys have this big, happy family. It would be horrible for him to be the only Stellato without a family of his own.”

“But maybe there’s a way?”

She shook her head. “There’s no way. Trust me. I had tests, and my parents got specialists. It’s just one of those things. It’s one reason I always wanted to be a teacher, because it was the only way I’d be able to work with young people and help shape lives.”

“If you guys talked,” Cara pleaded, but she waved her off.

“What would be the point? He might say it doesn’t matter now, but I don’t think he’ll feel that way a few years down the road. Would he blame me when it was too late to have kids? You know he would. It’s for the best that I leave now, before we get in any deeper, before I care about him even more.” A hiccupping sob escaped and she put a shaking hand over her mouth.

“Serafina, how do you feel about my brother?” For a moment, she spotted the steely Stellato character beneath Cara’s words.

“I love your brother. It’s only been a few weeks, and I know how crazy it sounds. I’m like Nick. I haven’t dated much, but I knew the men I dated weren’t what I wanted, what I needed. When your brother looks at me, for the first time in my life, I feel like all the pieces of the puzzle that is my crazy world fit together. But I won’t let him give up something he craves so much.” She smiled, bitter and cold inside. “I can’t cook, I’m not Catholic, I don’t speak Italian. And I can’t have children. Obviously a very, very poor choice for Niccolo Stellato, wouldn’t you say?”

Her heart was breaking. She had to escape. She shook her head and swiped at tears.

“I’m so happy for you and your baby. Happy that you are both all right and happy that your family can rejoice with you. But I can’t do this. I have to go.” Resolute, she stood and walked to the door. Cara had a stunned look on her face. “Please tell him I said goodbye. Take care of yourself and your family. Take care of Nick too.”

The door closed on Cara’s voice calling to her, but she didn’t look back. The family was still down looking at the baby, so she hurried to the exit. Now that the time had come she was relieved to have made the break. But it was more agonizing than she could have imagined. She was making the right decision and Cara’s words had convinced her, but it hurt so badly to know how much Nick cared. It was like dying to walk away from him, from love.

Outside she hailed a cab and got in and directed him to her apartment. Then she leaned back and let the tears fall. It had been exquisite with him, if only for a moment.