Work of Art (40 page)

“I’m scared too,” he finally said. “Scared that you’ll reject me or you’ll get bored with me, but I’m willing to take a chance, because being with you even for a short time is better than living without you. Trust me, I’ve done it for too long, and I know what I’d been missing.”

“Wow,” I said, sort of taken aback by him just putting it all out there.

“I want to make you happy,” he murmured, looking down at our joined hands.

“Hmm?”

He looked up and caught my gaze with fire in his eyes. “I just want to make you happy. I want to make up for all the years I wasn’t there and for everything we lost and everything we can’t get back. I want to erase as much as I can. Will you let me take care of you, Harper?”

“I don’t need anyone to take care of me,” I answered, almost automatically, but something about h
earing him say that made me want to let him take care of me.

“I know, but I want to. I need to, because I didn’t do it when I should have, so now I’m going to make up for it.
If you let me back in, you’re not getting rid of me.”

“None of
what happened to us was your fault,” I said softly, seeing the conviction in his eyes, even though I knew he blamed himself for not coming after me when I left.

“It doesn’t matter. It’s what I want to do. Will you let me?”

I nodded. “Yeah, but only if you’ll let me take care of you right back,” I offered, bartering with him.

He nodded. “I can live with that.
So what now?”

I looked out the front windshield at the beautiful day.
“I think I’d like to go on the date you planned for us, because I can’t think of a better way to spend the day than with you.”

Maybe we could eat in Golden Gate Park. It wouldn’t be as secluded as Brandon’s property, but I’d be with Ryan, so it didn’t matter.

“It’s not a date. I didn’t plan for it to be a date,” he said quickly.

I looked at him skeptically, not believing that for a second. “Well, from this point forward, I’d like to consider it a date.”

“You really mean that?”

“Hey, what happened to the cocky guy who told me I was going to fall for him, huh?
”

Ryan smirked.
“He, uh, decided maybe he shouldn’t push you.”

I shrugged. “Maybe he could p
ush a little.”

Finally, a smile
crept up on his face. “Okay, I like that idea. So, should we go back to Brandon’s?”

We were almost halfway home, so it seemed a little silly to drive all the way back the way we’d just come.

I shrugged. “We could find another place to have our picnic.”

He looked over at me and smiled. “I’d like that. Maybe down on the wharf.”

“Maybe,” I said coyly. “Or we could go to your apartment.”

He looked over at me with raised eyebrows
, and I think he was wondering if he’d heard me correctly. “My apartment?”

“I’ve always wanted to have sex on a marble floor,” I said then
, shrugging and knowing I’d caught him off-guard.

It was a tension breaker, but
I was also feeling brazen all of a sudden, and I felt like pushing him in the direction I suddenly wanted to go. I was sure he’d be overly guarded for a while since he’d been under the impression that I was rejecting him just a few minutes earlier, so I figured a little encouragement would do him good.

“Excuse me?”

I knew he was afraid he hadn’t heard me correctly, so I moved my hand to his knee and slid it up his leg. Then I looked up and met his eyes that were looking at me in wide-eyed surprise.

“
Keep your eyes on the road, and slow down. You’re going too fast,” I told him, as I guided my hand higher until it was practically touching the erection that was tenting his shorts. His hands gripped the wheel tighter, but he backed off of the accelerator considerably.

Then I moved my hand and sat back
, looking straight ahead. I wasn’t sure Ryan knew what hit him. He looked an equal mix of confused, amazed and pensive as he drove toward the city.

“It’s on my sex bucket list,” I
explained, as his hands gripped the steering wheel so tight his knuckles turned white.

“So, is that why you want to go back to my apartment?” he asked, his voice catching on his breath.

“No, I was just sharing something interesting about myself that I didn’t think you knew, but you said you have a terrace, so maybe we can eat lunch out there.”

He nodded.
“Yeah. Sure.” Then after a few seconds he asked, “How long has it been for you?”

“Since I’ve had sex?”

He nodded. “Yeah,” he said gruffly. I looked down to see the bulge in his pants was still there.

“Probably close to four months. Too long,” I added as an afterthought.

He swallowed. “It’s been three for me.”

“That’s a long time for a guy. Brandon has sex practically every night.”

“I know. I hear all about it,” he said shortly.

“Me too.
It’s never something I ask about, but he always offers to share really intimate details with me. And man does he date some experimental women. There are some things I’ve heard him talk about that I wasn’t exactly sure what they were, but after hearing them described, I’m thinking of adding them to my list.”

R
yan closed his eyes for a second and relaxed against the back of his seat, massaging his temples with the fingers on one hand. “Are you trying to kill me?”

“No, why would I do that?”

“Because you’re talking really dirty right now, and your hand was practically on my dick, and all I can think about are all the things I’d like to do to you, and I know you said I could push you a little, but shit, a man can only take so much before things like that just make him want to push all the way.”

I looked at him thoughtfully, drinking in the
tense look on his face. His chiseled jawline was rigid, and his mouth was set in a firm line, and with one revelation, I could make it all go away. I knew he needed to hear it outright, because I’d damn near pushed him away, and he was skeptical of my intentions. I needed to be direct.

I reached for his hand again,
knowing he needed the reassurance that I wouldn’t bail on him as much as I needed it. He’d been hurt too and not just by me. He drew in a breath as soon as our bare skin touched.

“Ryan, I realize
that it’s going to take a while before I’m able to fully trust anyone with my heart. Because of all that I’ve been through, I’ve got some serious walls, but you loved me before, and I know you’d never hurt me, so I’m willing to take a chance with you. And I’m hoping I can learn to trust, because I do want to be with you, even if it scares me.”

He breathed out a huge sigh
and looked over at me with a silly grin on his face. “Holy shit. Seriously?”

“Yeah.
” I grinned back at him.

“Damn,” he said, grinning like a fool. “I feel like I should pull over or something.”

“Why?”

He looked over at me with such reverence. “Because
I really want to kiss you, and I’d really like to do it without crashing the car.”

My heart warmed. He was so sweet.

“I’d love for you to kiss me.”

“Done,” he said, as he swerved over three lanes and jerked the car onto the shoulder.
As soon as it was in neutral, he grabbed my face in his hands and pulled it toward him as he crushed his lips to mine.

“
Ow,” I said, and he tried to pull away from me, but I wouldn’t let him. I wrapped my hands behind his head and held his lips to mine.

He slowly relaxed into the kiss, and it was then that I opened my mouth to him. He pressed deeper, letting his tongue reach out and massage mine. It was such a fam
iliar kiss, but I hadn’t felt the familiarity of it in so long.

When he finally pulled back, he looked at me for a few second
s before resting his forehead against mine. “I love you, Harper.”

“I love you, too, Ryan.
So much.”

“Shit, it feels good to hear you say that.”

I giggled. “It feels good to say it. Now, can we start driving again?”

“No,” he said as he leaned forward to kiss me once more, practically dragging me over the gear shift onto his lap.

“What was that for?” I asked when he pulled back, loving the electricity that flowed between us as we kissed.

He shrugged. “That was just because I could.”

I grinned like an idiot. He was so darn cute.

I moved my hand to his thigh and slowly ra
n it up toward the bulging apex as I kept my eyes on his. He watched me in wonder as I cupped him and squeezed gently.

“If we start driving again, we can go back to your apartment and be alone,” I offered, and in two seconds, he was slamming the car into first and inserting us back into traffic.

I laughed.

“Oh, you think that’s funny?”
he quipped.

“You’re adorab
le,” I said, as I moved my hand so I could take his again.

“You’
re trouble,” he told me. “But I like it a whole lot.”

We drove in silence for a few minutes as his thumb rubbed back and forth over my hand.

“I love that I can hold your hand,” he said, seemingly awed by something so simple. “You really love me?”

I nodded once. “I
really do. I always have. Even when I hated you, I still loved you.”

He let out a deep breath that I had
n’t realized he’d been holding. “Shit,” he said, shaking his head. “I don’t deserve you, but I’m thrilled to hear you say that. I never stopped loving you either.”

I smiled at him, really wanting to hug him and never let go.

* * *

When we parked in the garage under his building, Ryan told me to stay in the car while he got out and ran around to my side
. Then he opened my door and unceremoniously yanked me up and into his arms where he held me and looked down at me for a few seconds. His breath was coming in short and fast bursts, and I could feel his heart pounding out a staccato rhythm against my chest.

He shook his head as if he wanted to say something before he kissed me, long and
deep, and it made me toes curl. His lips were so soft and full and incredibly addicting.

When he pulled back he leaned his forehead against mine. “Shit, Harper. I never actually thought we’d end up here today, but hell if I don’t want to drag you upstairs and keep you there forever.” The look in his eyes kept me grounded to the spot. “You are beautiful and perfect and so wonderful, and I plan on kissing you a lot, okay?”

I nodded, smiling at his adorable eagerness. “I’m good with that.”

“Shit. Is this for real? You’re not going to get freaked and bail on me, are you?”

I shook my head. “I’m hoping like hell that I can stay like this, with you, for the rest of my life, Ryan. You
do
make me feel safe and loved and so happy. I’m not going anywhere.”

Now that I’d made my decision I wasn’t going back on it. It felt too right to be with him, and I hoped with everything in me th
at it wouldn’t be a mistake, and something in my gut told me it wouldn’t be.

“I love you,” he said sincerely. “A
nd I was serious when I said I wanted to take care of you. You’re one of the strongest women I’ve ever met, but I want you to know without a doubt, that you’re safe with me.”

“I know,” I said, reaching up to lay my hand on his cheek.

He smiled at me, and then he leaned down and kissed me, pressing me back against his car as he deepened the kiss. When his tongue met mine, I let out a groan. Feeling the heat between us and the firmness of his body flush against mine, it all became too much.

I dropped my head back and his lips landed on my exposed neck, kissing the stars of my tattoo.

“Ryan,” I breathed out.

“Shit, I love hearing you say my name,” he said between kisses, leaving barely an inch of my skin untouched.

“I can say it louder if we go upstairs,” I offered, feeling very exposed in his parking garage where anyone could walk by, but there wasn’t anyone nearby at the moment, so I moved my hand between us and sought out the hardness I felt pressing against my thigh.

Ryan groaned against my neck as I started massaging him gently.

“I want to do really inappropriate things to you,” he breathed against my collarbone where he was peppering it with soft kisses.

“What’s stopping you?
” I breathed out.

“If we go upstairs, I’ll have to stop kissing you, and I don’t want to do that.”

“But if we go upstairs, you can take my clothes off.”

“Damn,” he groaned and pulled back from me in one movement. “Okay, fine, I’m enticed. Let’s go.”

He grabbed my hand and yanked me toward the elevator, as I ran after him laughing in excited anticipation.