Authors: Stephanie Perry Moore
Work What You Got (2 page)
“Just don't none of you talk to me,” Myra said, going to her room.
“Like that will bother me,” Bridget said as she went upstairs and slammed her door.
Chandra plopped on the couch and said, “All of you guys will need me before I need you. Those Greek letters will let you down. Trust me.”
My world was caving in on me. Maybe we hadn't really finalized it, but in my mind it was already decided. Besides my three girls, I didn't care who else made the line. I had no other friends at Western Smith College. I'd only gone there because my Uncle Wade was the president of the school. I knew that a lot of people pledged sororities to get more status, to find themselves a clique. But I already had it going on in my own mind. My grades were good. My uncle didn't have to look out for me and I had the best group of girlfriends. But if we weren't going to pledge together the way I imagined it, if we weren't going to stand togetherânot only in a line but for causes to make the community betterâdid I want to do it alone? And if there was any hazing, without my three girls, could I take it? I had walked into a mess and I had no idea how it could be straightened out.
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Later that evening, I was at Wal-Mart buying my own groceries. No one in the house was talking to each other. Myra had put labels with her name on stuff in the refrigerator and Bridget had put all her items in one section. This was not how I thought our sophomore year was going to begin, but I needed to make sure I could eat, so I went out and got the necessary items.
As I came out of the store, a girl wearing a Beta Gamma Pi jacket turned to me and said, “Hey, we're having a party tonight. I'm sure you want to be there. Bring some friends!” she said, and handed me a flyer for the party.
I was caught off guard when she winked at me. Was the word out? Did every Beta know I wanted to be in their group? Or maybe all the events I attended last year did make a difference.
“You're planning to come, right? You know my name, don't you?”
Shoot, I knew she was a junior. I knew she was on the dance team. I knew I'd seen her before. This was all a part of pledging. It was an intimidation factor. The way she was staring at me like I'd better know her name was a lot to take in.
“Keisha! You're Keisha!” I said finally.
She looked me up and down. It was like she was bipolar. When she first approached me she was kind, now she was tripping.
“I'm Hayden,” I said, as I extended my hand and she backed her arms away.
“I'll know your name when I need to know it. You coming tonight or what?”
I had a blank stare on my face. There was no way I could tell her that I wasn't coming. I didn't want to go to a party by myself, but I couldn't let her down either. She'd report back to the Betas and cross me off the list before I even got a chance to interview.
“I want to be there,” I said nervously.
“Okay, I like you. You didn't know how to tell me no, but you told me something I wanted to hear. Smart. Alright. I'll look for you this evening. I know you won't let me down. If you do, you'll regret it, and that is a threat. Be scared,” Keisha said, as she sharply turned and went to another group of girls clustered in the store handing out party flyers.
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Coming back into the house, I yelled, “Hey everybody! Important apartment meeting.”
“Apartment meeting? Where'd you get that from?” Chandra said, eyeing me down like I needed to check myself into the loony bin.
I looked at her and uttered, “I'm trying here, okay? Work with me, we don't need to have any discord or any strife. I figured out a way we can all push aside the tension.”
“So Hayden, what you got to work this all out?” Chandra said, as Myra and Bridget walked into the living room.
“Let's go to a party!”
It took a minute, but then everyone started smiling. See, I knew my girls. We weren't the wild bunch, but we weren't duds either. We were sassy and cool.
“Whose party is it?” Chandra asked.
I didn't want to tell them that part because I didn't want to start another argument. So I took a breath, deeper than the ocean's bottom and hoped they would hear me out.
“Okay, you'll be doing me a favor. How about that?”
“The Betas are having a party?” Chandra said, completely disappointed. “I thought some guys were throwing this. I don't wanna party with a bunch of women.”
“Well, if the girls are throwing it you know there are going to be tons of guys there,” I said, lightly jabbing her in the arm.
“Alright, count me in,” Myra said.
“Yeah, I'll go to a party. I'm sure the sisters of Rho Tau Nu are going to be there,” Myra said. “I got to let them see how uninterested I am in anything the Betas are throwing.”
“How will that happen if you're at the place?” Myra asked.
Myra smiled and responded, “I'll look bored.”
“Yeah, I need to be there too because if any MEMs are in the house I need to let them see my face.”
“Don't y'all think that's gonna be counterproductive?” Chandra said. “Aren't you only supposed to go to stuff that the organization you're interested in joining is throwing?”
“Ugh, it's not even like that, Chandra. You got sororities all wrong,” I said, as the three of them stared me down. “Okay, well, I'm just saying we can change it. Just be ready in an hour, please?”
Sororities were territorial. It was rumored if you supported anyone else's events you were banned. Or at least you'd better have a good reason for giving other Greeks your time. I'd heard horror stories of one girl going to different rushes or informational sessions and in the end none of the sororites wanted her to pledge. Deep in my heart, I knew my crew were leaders. If we were in any group, we'd be open-minded and want our members to support worthwhile causes without feeling like someone would be dissing us if they did attend someone else's event.
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As soon as we arrived at the student activity center on campus, which was about ten minutes from our apartment, we went off in different directions. I was a little upset. I wanted to hang out with my roommates and get them all to see that the way the Betas threw a party was a classic example of how awesome a group they were. I mean it just wasn't some back to school party. This was a bash. With decorations, food and slamming musicâthe Betas had set it out. The place was packed, the mood was right, and the lights were low. Girls were getting their groove on while all the guys were watching the swaying hips.
I looked across the room and saw a guy that caught my eye. It was Creed. I remembered him from the English and public speaking classes I took last year. I smiled, knowing that my sophomore year might bring a lot of challenges and things might not go exactly as I planned. But as I looked at the cutie heading my way, while being surrounded by Betas, I knew that my future for love and letters was bright.
2
GUIDANCE
“
I
knew I should have gotten your number before the summer break,” said the divinely fine Creed.
I
knew I should have gotten your number before the summer break,” said the divinely fine Creed.
My knees were starting to shake and I didn't want to smile too wide. He was gorgeous. Creed stood strong and masculine at five-foot-eleven. His white Crest smile offset his smooth, brown mocha skin. From his fresh line-up and fade to the seemingly perfect curl of his lashes, this man was eye candy! Even better, his presence was commanding, like that of royalty. The way he was looking at me from head to toe, I hoped that he was now single.
He beat me to the punch when he asked, “So what's up with you and Butch? Should I back away before he comes over and socks me?”
Butch was my ex-boyfriend from freshman year. Looking back, I must have been desperate to go out with him. He had an ego larger than three dorms put together. But besides that, he was a control freak and really into his fraternity, Pi Lambda Beta.
“Tell me something though, cause you know I'm trying to pledge Pi Lambda Beta and I don't want to speak to his girl. Getting kicked off line before I even make it would be something.”
“I'm single. You know Butch and I were over last semester. It looks like it's going to be a crazy year for us both. I'm thinking about pledging too.”
“For real? I know all of the sororities are going to try to snap you up,” he said, as I noticed his eyes still checking me out.
Remembering he had a girl always glued to his hip last year and not wanting extra drama for myself, I said, “But you have a girlfriend too. Where's miss prim and proper?”
“I don't cheat. It's completely not my style. We're over, so since we're both free, that means we should give us a shot, right?”
I smiled. He stepped closer. Then he bent his head down toward my neck.
It was like Creed knew the DJ, because all of a sudden a slow song came on. He led me to the dance floor and we clung to each other's arms. His touch made me feel as if I were floating through the clouds.
“So you're really thinking about pledging, huh?” I said to him, trying to keep my mind off the fact that just being close to him and his fine body was turning me on in every way imaginable.
“You know you smell good, right?” he said to me, catching me off guard.
“You smelling my neck again?”
“You better watch it, soon I might be kissing it,” he said, then licked his lips in a way that told me he wanted more.
Instinctively, I pulled back. I knew Creed pretty well, but how much I wanted him scared me.
“You pulling away. Do you want to stop dancing?”
“Yeah, it's getting a little hot in here.”
As we walked off of the dance floor, I couldn't believe that he grabbed my hand. It wasn't a tight squeeze, and we weren't walking arm in arm, but he definitely had two of my fingers. And for a girl coming back to college with only books and pledging on her mind, this was a different ball game. Being with Creed put chills up and down my spine, and I knew that I really liked him. I had stepped into this place ready to impress the Betas and have fun with my roommates. Even though I was extremely bummed out that my suitemates went their own way, now I was happy my roommates could take care of themselves. And I certainly wasn't thinking about impressing anybodyâexcept Creed. Creed had always impressed me, not only with his academic power, but his leadership skills were something awesome. He could give a speech that would motivate any crowd and he loved complimenting people. I had an appreciation for his skills and the way he'd bring out the best in people.
“I've always thought you were stunning. I can't believe you never noticed that I wasn't really studying during our study sessions last year. Instead, I found myself being caught up with how beautiful you were ... and still are,” he said.
“Okay, see, you were making me believe that you were genuine and all of that stuff, but now you're giving me way too many compliments. I don't even deserve them. Stop,” I said, hitting him on the knee.
“I ain't trying to freak you out, but I had a dream about you this summer, Hayden. Umm, let's just say, I'm a pretty happy guy to know that you and Butch are no more.”
He was reaching over to kiss me, but before our lips could meet, Penelope Kent, the Vice President of the Betas, came over to me and said, “I need to talk to you now, excuse us.”
She didn't give me a choice. She practically grabbed my arm. Then she yanked me away from Creed.
“I thought you wanted to pledge?” she said, once we were alone in the women's restroom. “Every function we had last year you were there. We even had the conversation about your mom's pledge experience. I went out on a limb for you and pegged you as my choice to make it. Did I waste my time thinking you'd be right for BGP?”
I didn't know what to do or say. I just knew it was put-up or shut-up time. I put all of my cards on the table. I said, “No, you didn't waste your time. I still want to be a Beta.”
“Well, we don't want our girls all up in someone's face. We talked about this last year, girl. That's a no-no! Show some class and self-respect. Y'all looked like you needed to find a hotel or something, yuck! You've got a lot of work to do and we need to talk about this now. So meet me off campus at the Elks Club in fifteen minutes.”
Before I could say anything, she left. I knew the clock was ticking. As it says in my mom's Beta handbook that I peeked at, the Vice President of the organization is the leader of the line. Penelope had spoken. Ticking her off wasn't going to help my cause. I had to figure out how I was going to respond.
Now it was on me. I had been given an order: either I could comply with it or ignore it. Make no mistake about it, whichever one I chose would pretty much determine my pledging fate.
I wasn't a rude person. I couldn't just walk out of the party without saying goodbye to Creed. We'd connected. How could I just leave him high and dry like that? And I certainly would have been pissed if he did it to me. However, if the Betas were watching me, I couldn't say goodbye or even explain to Creed what was going on. And in all honesty, I didn't know where things between Creed and me were headed. We were friends, even though he looked like he wanted to rip my clothes off and get busy. I certainly wanted more than that, but who could say a relationship was in store for us and could I afford to take that chance? I had wanted to be a member of Beta Gamma Pi for years and here was finally my opportunity. I had the grades. I had the community service. And I had the heart. Yeah, the Betas were acting crazy, I mean what was this secret meeting all about?
When I walked toward the exit, Chandra came up to me and said, “So okay, you just gonna bounce without saying a word? We came to this party because of you, girl. I can't believe you were about to leave! Come with me and bring the truth.”
“Okay, okay,” I said, motioning for her to come outside.
Chandra looked crazy and said, “If I go out they ain't gonna let me come back in.”
“Yes, they will, just get your hand stamped by one of the Betas,” I told her.
I took her hand and gave it to one of the Betas that I'd seen at the store earlier. Her large stature was so overwhelming and she looked even meaner than she did before. Her sweatshirt read, Soror Keisha, a mean machine. I couldn't imagine one person that she would vote to put on the line.
“What you looking at? I just want my hand stamped,” Chandra said, just being real.
I could have hit my girlfriend in her side. Though she didn't want to pledge, I did. Now I was gonna get it for her smart comment. Keisha rolled her eyes at Chandra. And Chandra rolled her eyes right back at her. I was doomed.
When we got outside Chandra said, “What in the world is up with you taking their manipulation? See, I don't understand why you guys want to be a part of these sororities. These chicks think they own you guys or something. Well, they ain't gonna treat me like I'm stupid. I'm somebody with or without being a member of their group.”
“It's to be expected. It's no big deal,” I said, truly hoping I was right in what I was telling her.
“So, where you going? Why'd you bring me out here? What you got to say? Let me guess, one of them wants you to go to the store for more punch or something?” Chandra teased.
Trying not to get upset I said, “I can't tell you, but I do have to go and meet a couple of them.”
“That's crazy. You about to walk on this campus by yourself. Girl, don't we have security? That's just asking for troubleâyou're wearing a short dress practically up your behind and then you're going to prance around campus at midnight?”
“I know this sounds crazy, but this is something I really want to do. Please tell ...”
She cut me off and said, “Look, I ain't seen Bridget and Myra. I don't know where they are. I'm about to roll out myself in a minute. But we came over here with you, if you leave now how we gonna get home?”
“Shoot, I've got to be there in three minutes,” I said, noticing how much time had passed since Penelope summoned me. “Look, just make sure they get home. Please tell them what happened. I know they'll understand.”
She grabbed my wrist. “I'm staying up and I'll call the cops if you aren't home in a few hours. Where are you meeting them?”
I gave her all of the particulars and hugged her tight. One thing I liked about Chandra was that she knew who she was. I'm not saying that I wanted to be a Beta because I needed an identity, but I loved the fact that she felt she was fine just the way she was. No clubs, no sororitiesânone of that stuff. I was almost there. There was just one more thing left that I needed to make myself complete ... Greek life.
“So look, could you also tell Creed that I said goodbye? You remember him, he was my study partner last year.”
“Yeah, I saw you talking to him. I'll handle it. Go girl, and be careful.”
I got to the Elks Club a couple of minutes late. Surely, that couldn't be a big deal. I was really scared, yet I knew I wanted to do this. I was strong and I wasn't going into the room alone. I'd take my Savior with me, and with Him by my side I knew I could do this.
When I walked into the abandoned Elks Club, a spotlight shined on me. The room was freezing. I felt like my stomach was falling to the floor. What had I gotten myself into? This was eerier than a horror flick.
One girl shouted, “You're two minutes late, drop down and give me fifty push-ups.”
I smirked, certain they were joking, right? Suddenly, ten girls surrounded me with Beta Gamma Pi gear on. I looked around and saw that big Keisha, the girl from the party, was looking right at me.
As if I couldn't hear, she shouted, “You hope that I am your big sister one day. But I'm not now. So, don't look at any of us. You hold your head down. Stand on one leg and think about why you want to be a Beta.”
Another girl said, “Penelope told us you were all over some guy at our party. If you want to be a member of our organization, we only take the best. We don't accept girls with fast reputations.”
Then another voice chimed in and said, “You don't need to wear all of that makeup either. It's natural beauty we're interested in.”
“GPA better not drop,” a girl yelled, as she jammed me in the side. “We already know it's a 3.69. You can make it a 3.75.”
I was so shocked. How did they have this kind of information on me? I hadn't turned in an application packet. Maybe this hazing thing was going to be more than I ever imagined it would be. All this preliminary stuff, being underground as the Greeks called it, was supposed to be minimal, but they were practically stalkers.
Someone else pushed me and said, “Make sure you are at all of our events, no chit-chatting in the hallways, just go to and from class, and take yourself home. And make sure not to wear any more clothes that make it look like you're not wearing any. Can you do that?”
Another echoed, “Can you do that? Do you want to be a Beta?”
My leg was starting to buckle and the room was starting to spin, but I knew I had to give them an answer, so I shouted as loud as I could, “YES, I CAN DO IT. I WANT TO BE A BETA!”
“That's all we wanted to hear. Cool,” Keisha said, before they all left me standing there in the cold, dark room alone.
I fell to the ground, really wondering if I had what it takes to make it.
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It had been two weeks since that crazy meeting in the Elks Club that left me feeling full of intimidation and fear. I hadn't seen another Beta since that time, but I made sure I went home and followed the instructions they gave me that night.
I'd go straight to class, not even stopping for a bite to eat on campus. I didn't have time to waste. After class, I was in my room studying. It wasn't like I didn't care about what was going on with my roommates, but I knew if they needed me they would let me know.
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