Worthy of Redemption (31 page)

In a bit of a daze I found myself traveling upstairs to Kyle’s room – my room, too – and slowly opened the door. I had to flip on a light because the day had turned cloudy and rainy and the room was cast in shadow. When the light came on, I found that there were two pregnancy pillows on the bed and a few extra regular pillows. On the centermost pillow was a single flower, a Lily.

I sat down on the bed and picked up the flower. I held it to my nose, inhaling the scent for a minute before I was up and moving again. I went downstairs into the kitchen and poured myself a glass of 100 percent pure apple juice. I leaned against the island and wondered what else Kyle had brought into the house while I was out with his mother. I wondered if it was all a ploy to keep me out so that he can come in without running into me. I was unsure if Felicia knew that her son was in town, but I’m sure Corsey had to know. I had no doubts that it was definitely Kyle and not one of his cronies. If it was one of his people, it wouldn’t have been a big clandestine operation.

As I drank my juice, I didn’t know how to feel about the situation. I should have felt grateful that he went through so much trouble and showed he obviously still cared. Then again it should have made me cry to know that he didn’t want to see me.

I hurled the glass of juice across the kitchen. Juice was flung in every direction and the glass shattered against a cabinet door, sending glass flying all over the counters, stove, and floor.

It was decided. I was pissed off.

I stormed back into the living room and pulled my phone out of my purse. I learned to stop calling Kyle long ago. He never answered and he only ever responded in text messages. He only spoke to me on the phone on his terms, when
he
wanted to, which wasn’t very often. No matter how deeply I felt for him, I wasn’t going to play the desperate girl, calling him repeatedly and begging. I had begged enough.

I was surprised when he picked up on the third ring. At least I wouldn’t have been yelling at a voicemail.

“You fucking pansy!” I shouted. “You didn’t have the balls to face me!”

“You’re welcome,” he said coolly. In the background I heard what sounded like city noise. Knowing he was on this side of the pond, he was probably on the streets of Philly. “Judging by the stack of takeout menus on the coffee table and the bare cabinets and fridge, you haven’t been eating well. You have to eat better than that. You should be well stocked for a while and I’ve set you up with a grocery delivery service so you will always have the basics.”

Again, I should have been thrilled that he thought of me, but I wasn’t.

“If you ever do anything like this again, I will leave this place. I will drop off the face of the map, do you understand? I let you keep tabs on me, but I can go away. The next time you set foot in this house you better make damn sure that I am here and that you are looking me in the eyes.”

I ended the call before he could speak again. Seconds later my phone was ringing. Kyle was calling, but I wasn’t going to answer. I was going to play his game. As I searched for my now missing takeout menus, Kyle called five more times. I came to the conclusion that he had thrown them away, but luckily for me, I had a few of the places on speed dial and I almost always ordered the same thing, but before I dialed, I came up with a better idea.

I slid my swollen feet back into my flip-flops, picked up my purse, and grabbed the keys to the Cadillac XTS. In minutes I was in the garage, pulling out of one of the parking spots reserved for us. I drove a few miles down the road to the casino and paid for valet parking. I went to the back of the casino, put my
preggo ass on a barstool and ordered yummy, fattening, salty, unhealthy Chinese food and a big glass of soda. I pulled some cash out of my purse and leisurely played the video Black Jack game built into the bar. While I waited for the food and played the game while sipping on my soda, I checked my phone. Kyle had called twice more, but the calls ended and he sent no texts. It was just as well, because for the first time since he left, I didn’t want to be bothered with him.

~~~

At exactly the eighteenth week mark of my pregnancy, I felt a fluttering in my womb that made my heart stop. I was sitting in my office at Sterling Corp when I felt it. I leaned back in my chair and put my hand over my belly. I couldn’t feel it from the outside, but I was definitely feeling the quickening from the inside.

There was only one person worth telling, but he wasn’t around to tell. Kyle called me a couple of days after the grocery incident. This time he left a message and just asked about the doctor’s appointment since we didn’t get to discuss it a few days before. That only set me off again because he had been in the city and didn’t make an effort to show up for the appointment. I didn’t return his call. I pulled
his
usual and simply sent a text in response. I only said “It was fine.” He called me again the following week, but I sent that call to voicemail, too. He wanted to know, as always, how I was feeling and if I needed anything. I replied with two words in text: “Fine. No.”

Why should I have continued to put in so much effort to hang on to him when his efforts were so little?

I could have called him or texted him to tell him about the baby’s movement, but since he chose not to be with me, I decided he had no right to know.

Chapter Nineteen

~Lily~

I wanted the bar open by the time Football season kicked off. I was there every day after working in the office, helping to get it set up. Even though Marco’s part in building the bar was long over, he stepped in after Kyle left to help me hire a staff, plan menus and events and other necessities. We were just about finished with the set up process, only needing some basic items a couple of weeks before Labor Day.

It was pretty late one night. Marco and I were the only two left. I was sitting sideways in a booth and he was sitting in a chair that he had pulled up, and he was rubbing my feet.

“You really need to keep a pair of sneakers here in the office,” he admonished. “Running around in those hooker heels is not good for your feet.”

“They aren’t hooker heels,” I argued.

He stopped rubbing my foot and picked up one of my four inch heels off of the floor. He raised an eyebrow at me.

“Okay, so they’re a little hookerish, but damn I look good in those heels, and they make me feel tall.”

“You look good in anything you wear,” Marco said absently as he went back to rubbing my feet.

I couldn’t explain how good it felt to have this hot guy rubbing my feet. Not just a hot guy, but a hot billionaire guy who almost a year ago thought he was too good for people like me. I tilted my head back, closed my eyes, and sighed.

“When are you going to quit Sterling?” Marco asked. “You’re going to wear yourself out running back and forth between here and there. You’re already wearing out.”

“I promised Mayson I’d work at least a year, but I won’t just up and leave. I need to actually make money here first. Ohhh that’s perfect,” I whispered as he rubbed my foot in just the right spot. I had heard that there were erogenous zones on the feet, and I believed Marco was hitting them. As terrible as it seems, I didn’t stop him. Would you have stopped him?

“Doesn’t Kyle take care of you financially?” he asked.

“Ummm…wow…” I groaned. “In a way yes. I stay at the penthouse and he keeps paying for things and buying things on the sly, but I want to try to take care of myself. I don’t want to rely on him anymore.” I frowned. “In fact, I want to pay him back for the cost of building and opening the bar. Anything I make here for at least a year or more will be to repay him.”

“He will not take that money,” Marco warned.

“I can damn well try to give it to him,” I said before groaning again.

“Kyle is a good friend,” he started slowly. “But I am struggling with the fact that he left you like this.”

I opened my eyes and looked into Marco’s eyes. “Me, too,” I whispered.

The way he stared back at me made me feel…uncomfortable. Not in a creepy way, but in a way that made my heart flutter in my chest and funny tickling sensations travel up my spine. I pulled my feet off of his lap and turned around in the booth, touching the cool tile with my toes as I looked down at my hands on the table. Marco slid into the booth next to me and put his hand under my chin to make me look into his steel blue eyes.

“Kyle is a fool,” he said in a soft tone that made me shiver. His face inched closer to mine. I think I stopped breathing. I think my heart stopped beating. I think the whole world stopped spinning as Marco Mangini’s lips skimmed over mine.

“I am only going to do this once,” he whispered, his lips moving against mine. “Just this once. I may never have the opportunity to do so again. Hold still and don’t fight it.”

Then his lips were on me, moving gently but with erotic intention against my lips. His tongue gently slid across my bottom lip and like magic, my mouth opened slightly to let him in. His tongue slipped between my lips until it met my own. I couldn’t help but to moan as he very slowly and very gently tasted my mouth. He didn’t increase the depth or speed of his tongue, but his lips and tongue moved with clear intent, and it was working. It was probably one of the most hedonistic kisses I had ever had in my life. His mouth was giving me a preview of what he could do to other parts of my body, and my body was
aware
of it.

When Marco finally pulled away, I sat there frozen as I stared at his mouth. It was an incredible kiss but my mind and my heart were crying out for Kyle. I blinked and looked away from him as I felt the beginning waves of guilt.

“Don’t feel bad, okay?” Marco whispered next to me. “I kissed you, not vice versa, and you’re technically single. He left you.”

I nodded, unable to trust myself to speak. Marco was right, but it didn’t necessarily make me feel any better. I didn’t feel like I cheated, but I felt as if I betrayed Kyle nonetheless. He made it clear in his Dear Lily letter that he wanted me to find someone else, but I was sure he didn’t mean his good friend and really I was pretty sure he had not meant it at all.

Marco slid out of the booth and returned the chair to its proper place. He came back a moment later and offered his hand to help me up. I silently accepted it and got out of the booth. He held my hands and helped me step back into my heels and then took my hand in his. Holding my hand was something he had always done, but it felt differently now. Together we walked throughout the bar, turning off the lights. With his own key, he locked the door and then walked me to the Cadillac. I used the key fob to unlock the doors, but Marco opened my door for me and held it until I slid in behind the wheel. Leaning on the open door, he looked down at me as I started the car.

“I’m not sorry I did it, though it was impulsive,” he said quietly. “But if it will make you feel better, you can tell him what happened. I’ll suffer the ass beating that will follow.”

“He may not care enough to beat your ass,” I said. I crossed my arms over the steering wheel and rested my cheek there as I looked up at him.

“Trust me, princess, he still cares. I’ll tell him myself. Did you at least enjoy it?”

“Immensely,” I admitted.

Marco grinned for a moment before his face grew serious again. “You are a good friend, Lily. Don’t let this come between us.”

“It won’t,” I promised.

“Drive safely, okay?” he closed the door and took a few steps back. I put my seatbelt on and waved to him. Just before I pulled away I saw him pull his phone out of his pocket. I had a feeling he was texting Kyle.

By the time I fell asleep that night, Kyle had not texted or called. Either Marco didn’t tell him or Kyle just didn’t care. The latter weighed me down with sadness.

~~~

More than a week later, in my dream Kyle was straddling me, careful not to put his body weight on me as he kissed the stars under my ear. His tongue was warm and moist and his breath was hot on my skin. His strong hands sought out a nipple through my t-shirt and we both groaned when we were awarded by it hardening under his skilled fingers. I ran my hands over his hard body, feeling the muscles under his soft skin.

His lips met mine in a fury of passionate kissing that made my heart race. He possessed me through this kiss. His lips were demanding and hungry for mine. He sucked on my tongue,
nipped at it and nipped at my lips.

He pulled back and looked into my eyes. His features were illuminated by the moonlight streaming through the windows. “Can you still feel his kiss on your lips, Lily?” he asked thickly. The sharp pain that was needling him was obvious in his voice and his gaze, and it also made one thing clear: I wasn’t dreaming. It was really his skin I was feeling under my hands, and his body pressed lightly against mine, and it was really his mouth that had just owned mine.

“He said he didn’t take you to bed, but I need to know the truth,” Kyle said, his forehead resting on mine. “I know I don’t deserve to know and I probably deserve every bit of pain I get, but…did you let Marco make love to you?”

I was stunned that he would think so. “No,” I said firmly. I held his face in my hands. “I did not sleep with him, Kyle. He kissed me and that’s it, and I’m very sorry that it happened.”

He pulled back and looked at me. “Did you kiss back?” he whispered.