WORTHY, Part 2 (2 page)

I laughed a little uneasily. I was getting a little too much insight into my sister-in-law.

Lunch was pleasant enough, though, Jane picking at her salad and asking me about my classes. I’d passed them all with flying colors, but was interested in the environmental science class the most.

“I’m really leaning toward that as a major,” I said. “It’s a pretty big market for it right now, you know? Everyone’s interested in sustainability. I really have you to thank for it.”

“Me?” Jane asked, surprised. “Why thank me?”

“You’re the one who recommended that I take online classes in the first place,” I said. “Remember? You specifically told me to try environmental science the first time we met — because I’d lived by myself out in the woods for so long.”

“Oh, Michelle, I was drunk,” Jane said, waving her hand and smiling. “I don’t really remember. Hm. Maybe I could be a life coach. If I got the right clients, might even pay better than a lawyer — with less work involved.”

Was there ever a moment when Jane wasn’t drunk? I was beginning to suspect she had a serious love affair with alcohol, especially when I noticed her pouring little nips into her diet soda out of a tiny silver flask in her purse.

She caught me looking once. “Want some?” she offered. “It’s whiskey.”

“I’ll pass,” I said. “I’m not that much of a drinker, really.”

“Pity,” Jane said, sighing. “I can never keep girlfriends who like partying as much as I do. That’s why I have more guy friends. Fat lot of good they do me. I can drink most of them under the table, too.”

I thought that was a strange thing to brag about, but I reserved my judgment. If Jane hadn’t invited me to lunch, I’d be dining alone at the compound, keeping my ears open for Amelia lurking around so I could run and hide before she had the opportunity to say something nasty to me.

“You should come out with me sometime,” Jane said. “It’ll be fun. The best way to get to know someone is over a cocktail.”

“I don’t know,” I hedged. “I’m looking to take a few more online classes right now. I want to make sure I have all the time I need to study.”

“Ugh, I don’t envy that,” Jane said. “Thank God I’m done with my bachelor’s. It keeps my father off my back — for now. I remember all of the stupid work I had to do to get my degree.”

“I’m just thankful that I’m getting a second chance to pursue an education,” I said. “When I was out living in the woods, I wasn’t sure it would ever happen for me.”

“You’re a saint, Michelle,” she told me, shaking her head before smiling slyly. “I’m going to have an excellent time corrupting you.”

I didn’t have time to wonder at her words as she tipped her flask over my drink, winking as the liquor splashed in.

Sleep was becoming harder and harder for me. When I lived at the cottage, slipping into slumber was never a problem. I was so physically active during the day that my eyes closed all by themselves the minute my head hit the pillow.

I wasn’t getting that kind of exercise here at the compound. I hated to go to the gym, and I could only rarely force myself out of the sanctuary of Jonathan’s floor to go for a walk or jog through the city. Spring had brightened it considerably, but I found myself unable to enjoy it without my husband by my side.

When I lay down in Jonathan’s bed, I thrashed for hours, listening to the city sounds outside the window, trying to analyze each and every one of them. God, I was so lonely for Jonathan that it hurt me. I tried sleeping on the side of the bed that he usually occupied, but it didn’t help. If he had only been there with me, by my side, I was sure I would’ve been able to sleep. And if I’d still been struck by the same insomnia, he and I would find sexier and more constructive ways to spend all of this idle time in bed.

As it was, I didn’t even have any desire to touch myself. That was the last thing on my mind.

One night, I had been asleep for perhaps a handful of fitful minutes when I heard a little bubbling blip from my iPad. Sure I was dreaming, I squeezed my eyes shut again and tried to force myself back into slumber. But that strange noise sounded again, and I knew it was useless. There wouldn’t be any more sleep tonight, and I’d be a zombie again once the sun came up, staggering around and feeling miserable until I slipped into sleep in some inopportune place. The last time had been sitting at the dining room table, and Amelia had been the one to stumble open me, sneering as I jolted up and left a small puddle of drool pooling on the surface.

I stretched and snagged the iPad from the bedside table. Maybe I could entertain myself with one of the books on it, even if I had felt pretty listless reading lately. Not even my classwork was holding my attention anymore, even as I tried to sign up for more and more classes, if only for things to do.

Sliding the cover open, I squinted at the sudden brightness of the device’s screen. It blipped again, and I realized that it was Skype. I was getting a call via Skype.

No. It was Jonathan. Jonathan was using Skype to contact me. My husband was finally reaching out. Finally.

My fingers trembled so hard in my excitement that I nearly ended the call instead of answering it. Muttering curses, I finally pressed the correct button, my heart pounding with adrenaline.

“Jon?” I asked. “Hello?”

“Hey, baby,” he said. The screen remained dark, and I frowned, frustrated.

“I can’t see you.”

“Oh, hang on.” There was the sound of fumbling, and I was left staring at my own video feed, my face scowling and thrown in shadow.

“Here we are,” Jonathan said, and his face filled both the screen of the iPad and my heart. It was daylight, wherever he was, and the sun made his dark hair gleam. His face looked tan and healthy. I immediately sat up in bed and turned on the lamp on the bedside table so I didn’t look like such a ghoul.

“It’s so good to see you,” I said, tears brimming in my eyes.

“I don’t have words for how happy I am,” Jonathan said, his wide grin like a balm on my heart. “What time is it there? Is it late?”

“It doesn’t matter,” I said. “I don’t care, Jonathan. You can call me whenever you like. I’ll always talk to you. How is everything?”

He gave a long exhale and ran a hand through his hair. I only wished I could touch him, sweep my own fingers through those strands.

“It’s a lot,” he said. “It’s a lot of things. I don’t know if I’m doing anything right, baby. Some days I don’t even know what country I’m waking up in.”

“You’re exhausted,” I said, noticing the dark circles beneath his eyes for the first time. I’d been so happy to see his face that at first, I hadn’t realized anything was wrong with it. “You need more rest, Jonathan. You need to take care of yourself.”

“Taking care of this is going to take care of ourselves,” he said, his eyes piercing. “I’m doing this for us, Michelle. For our family.”

“You know that I would be happy just to be with you,” I told him. “Don’t feel like you have to do this. You know that I would be just as happy to be with you again at the cottage. I have money, Jonathan. I do. We can live just fine without all this.”

“I can do this,” he said, his eyes raw and emotional. “I know I can do this. If I fail, I will never forgive myself. My family is counting on me…”

“Your family just wants you happy,” I said. I didn’t know that. I knew that Collier probably wanted Jonathan to succeed the most, and God only knew what Amelia wanted beyond me out of the Whartons’ lives. “I want you happy, Jonathan. I feel like you’re overexerting yourself. You don’t have to do this.”

“I do have to do this,” he said. “You don’t understand.”

That statement hurt, but I tried not to let him know it. All I understood was that he left me to fulfill something that he thought he had to do. His absence was affecting me more than I cared to admit, but I didn’t want the first time we’d talked in so long to become a stupid fight.

“I do understand,” I said calmly. “You want to prove to everyone that you’re just as capable to do this job as the man who had it before you.”

“Which is ridiculous, considering I am that man still,” Jonathan said, a line of frustration bisecting his forehead.

“We agree on that,” I said, nodding. “I just don’t like to see you stressed out like this. I wish I could be there with you. I wish there was something I could do to try to take some of this burden off of you.”

“Just seeing your face is enough,” he said, smiling. His hand reached out, and I realized he was touching the screen of his computer. “I love you, baby.”

“And I love you,” I said. “Let’s not talk about work anymore. You deserve a little break from it. Tell me about all the amazing things you’ve seen.”

Jonathan launched into a description of the wonders of the Eiffel Tower and other landmarks he’d seen during his travels. I couldn’t help but be a little bit jealous at all the corners of the world he was seeing. I was becoming very intimate with the knowledge of the corners of his ceiling, since I spent so much time staring at them while I was trying to go to sleep each night. That was the extent of my recent traveling.

“Michelle,” Jonathan said, and I sighed with longing. “I’m happy to see your face, baby, but you don’t look happy.”

“That’s not true,” I said quickly, smiling at him. “I am happy — to see you. I missed you so much, and — and I didn’t hear from you for so long.”

“It’s been hard without you, baby,” he said, the crease that marred his forehead deepening. “But I’m afraid if you were here, you would be as stressed out as I am. You’d be holed up in hotel after hotel all by yourself. I’m working 16-hour days on average. If I’m not making speeches, I’m being shown around. I’ve played so much golf, Michelle, that I never want to see another club again in my entire life. I’m not even good at it.”

I had to smile a little at his litany of complaints. “Too much golf,” I said, pursing my lips. “Poor baby.”

“If I was there right now, I’d spank that smart ass,” he said, grinning. The crease in his forehead disappeared completely.

“I wish you were here right now,” I said, raising my eyebrows. “I’d let you do a lot more than spank this ass.”

It was Jonathan’s turn to raise an eyebrow. “Oh, really?”

“Really.” I felt a stirring in me that I hadn’t experienced since my wedding night, when Jonathan and I had consummated our union in the limo on the way to the airport. I’d had zero desire and zero sexuality since then, but I couldn’t ignore the fact that I was extremely turned on by the sight of my husband… and the sound of his voice when he promised to do dirty things to me.

Jonathan shifted his position in front of the camera. “I’m glad we’re having this conversation in the privacy of my hotel room,” he said. “I must confess that I have quite the erection.”

His admission made me laugh and aroused me even more.

“I’m glad you’re not at a sidewalk café somewhere,” I said. “Where are you, anyways?”

“Abu Dhabi, on the balcony of my hotel,” he said. “Still not the most private place in the world, but I can adjust.”

I experienced a brief moment of vertigo when Jonathan picked up his computer and carried it inside. There were a few glimpses of bright sun, glittering buildings, and sand beyond, and then my husband returned in the frame.

“There,” he said. “I’m safely inside my hotel room now.”

“And just what do you expect to be safe for?” I asked suggestively. “Can we have a little show and tell, Mr. Wharton?”

“I think I can work that into my schedule, Mrs. Wharton,” he said. “Why don’t you show me what I’ve been missing the most?”

“Why, you’d have to tell me what that would be,” I said, grinning. This was interesting, indeed. I’d never thought to ask Jonathan what his favorite part about me was. It seemed self-serving, but in this setting, halfway around the world from each other, it was sexy as hell.

“Those beautiful breasts,” he said, licking his lips. “I dream about them.”

“Well, let me make that dream a reality,” I said. Using the cover to make a stand, I propped the iPad up on the bedside table and started to wriggle out of my pajama top until I realized that I should probably do something a little more sensual than just wriggle. I stopped and met Jonathan’s eyes on the screen. His lips were parted slightly and he was watching me intently.

“You know, I never really got a chance to give you anything as a wedding gift,” I said, working my pajama top up slowly, revealing my stomach inch by inch.

“Being married to you is enough of a gift,” he said.

“I think I’ll unwrap something for you right now,” I said, pulling my top up far enough to expose the undersides of my breasts. I wrapped one arm around them and finished drawing my top over my head, tossing it to the side.

“Ah, one of those trick wrapping jobs,” Jonathan said, smirking. “Just when you think you have all the wrapping paper off, there’s another layer underneath.”

“It’s all about the anticipation,” I said, having more fun than I had in weeks. I let my arm drop and hefted each of my breasts in my hands, making sure that my husband saw me getting a handful of something he could see but couldn’t touch.

“My favorites,” he said, drinking in the sight of me, completely absorbed. I was stunned at how much of a turn-on it ended up being. I was in complete control of what he witnessed. Would I have preferred to have him there with me, touching my breasts with those gentle hands of his? Sure, but this was almost as good. At least he was sort of in the room with me.

“Do you have any requests?” I asked, lowering my lashes coquettishly. “I think I could accommodate some of your desires.”

“I was hoping you might be taking requests,” he said. “Why don’t you take one of those rosy nipples between your fingers and squeeze it very softly for me?”

God. I expelled a breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding and crawled a little closer to the iPad so that my breasts filled the screen. I did just as my husband asked, squeezing my nipple just enough to make me crave more.

“Beautiful,” Jonathan said. “Now, scoot back. Squeeze it harder. I want to see your face as you do it.”

I was already aroused, but that simple request made another level of desire blossom within me. I reclined slightly over the pillows until my face came back into view on the screen and seized both of my nipples, squeezing the nubs harder until I gasped. The pain-tinged pleasure electrified me.

“Tell me how that feels,” he said softly. “Tell me exactly what you’re feeling.”

“It hurts,” I said, choking on my words. I’d never done anything like this before, and had no idea how erotic it could be. “It hurts, but it feels so good. It’s — it’s making me want to touch myself… elsewhere.”